Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(TMZ)   Gwyneth Paltrow compares being a celebrity trashed on the internet to being a soldier at war. Die with your Christian Louboutins on   (tmz.com ) divider line
    More: Stupid, Gwyneth Paltrow, Veterans for Peace, Cindy McCain, breaking newses, Christian Louboutin, Tom Cruise  
•       •       •

2260 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 May 2014 at 6:25 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



99 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-29 03:16:55 PM  
Paltrow -- whose most recent life struggle was probably a scuffed nail -- added, "My hope is, as we get out of it, we'll reach the next level of conscience."

The next level of unconsciousness is easier to reach.
whiskeynose.com
 
2014-05-29 03:32:10 PM  
After 17 years of military service, I can say without exception that the only thing that scares me any more is the thought of being on the receiving end of a negative tweet.
 
2014-05-29 03:47:39 PM  
Charlie don't surf the web!
 
2014-05-29 03:50:38 PM  
i1-news.softpedia-static.com

You see me now a veteran of a thousand Twitter wars
I've been living on the edge so long, where the winds of limbo roar
And I'm young enough to look at, and far too old to see
All the scars are on the inside
I'm not sure that there's anything left of me
 
2014-05-29 03:51:14 PM  
I wonder how she applies make-up on her face when her head is up her own ass 24/7?
 
2014-05-29 03:58:29 PM  
I remember the horror I encountered in the jungle when rebels had left pungi sticks dipped in Gweneth Paltrow's Meyer Lemon aoli recipe.  A reminder that war is hell, and refreshingly light snack that will cheer up any summer weekend and is particularly suitable for pairing with a light wine with subtle tannins and vibrant apricot and mango fruit overtones.

The tangy deliciousness in my wounds still haunts me.  As I stewed alone in solitude for years in that prison.  Much to my surprise my wounds actually were a delicious marinade.  The worst torture was the grill my captors  provided me had only regular plebeian store bought charcoal, not the hand-treated Amish hardwood that my loins desperately cried out for.  Much to my pleasure the canes which they beat me mercilessly with were actually sugar cane and made for a festive stirrer in the mojitos I was able to whip up poolside with fresh Persian limes I was able to smuggle into the hellhole in a festive but inconspicuous Jane Spade bag that was gifted bagged to me at the Trail of Tears, the Nam, the unspeakable horror that was The Oscars.
 
2014-05-29 04:11:03 PM  
Although I usually try to avoid judging people based solely on publicity and rumours, virtually every single story I've heard/read about her makes her out to be one Dyson sphere sized biatch.
 
2014-05-29 04:40:34 PM  
Just when I think she couldn't be a bigger twunt, she goes and opens her mouth again.
 
2014-05-29 04:42:27 PM  

oldfarthenry: I wonder how she applies make-up on her face when her head is up her own ass 24/7?


I thought her head was in the box.
 
2014-05-29 04:51:15 PM  
Fairly certain I can hear my grandpa rolling in his grave right now.

What a coont.
 
2014-05-29 05:54:20 PM  

brap: Charlie don't surf the web!


brap: I remember the horror I encountered in the jungle when rebels had left pungi sticks dipped in Gweneth Paltrow's Meyer Lemon aoli recipe.  A reminder that war is hell, and refreshingly light snack that will cheer up any summer weekend and is particularly suitable for pairing with a light wine with subtle tannins and vibrant apricot and mango fruit overtones.

The tangy deliciousness in my wounds still haunts me.  As I stewed alone in solitude for years in that prison.  Much to my surprise my wounds actually were a delicious marinade.  The worst torture was the grill my captors  provided me had only regular plebeian store bought charcoal, not the hand-treated Amish hardwood that my loins desperately cried out for.  Much to my pleasure the canes which they beat me mercilessly with were actually sugar cane and made for a festive stirrer in the mojitos I was able to whip up poolside with fresh Persian limes I was able to smuggle into the hellhole in a festive but inconspicuous Jane Spade bag that was gifted bagged to me at the Trail of Tears, the Nam, the unspeakable horror that was The Oscars.


This is why I have brap favorited in super-fun Purple 3.
 
2014-05-29 06:22:10 PM  
Gwyneth will bomb Perl Harbor.
 
2014-05-29 06:28:54 PM  

WhiskeySticks: Fairly certain I can hear my grandpa rolling in his grave right now.

What a coont.


That's no way to speak about your grandpa!
 
2014-05-29 06:29:18 PM  

BadReligion: oldfarthenry: I wonder how she applies make-up on her face when her head is up her own ass 24/7?

I thought her head was in the box.


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-29 06:30:23 PM  
Biatch was born on third base and thinks she hit a triple.
 
2014-05-29 06:33:15 PM  
Are we sure she actually said this? Didn't the last story about a celebrity who made a similar claim turn out to be a hoax?

Not that I would put it past her.
 
2014-05-29 06:33:23 PM  
She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.
www.gorgeous10.com
 
2014-05-29 06:33:24 PM  
Can we get an upgrade to an asinine tag please?
 
2014-05-29 06:33:40 PM  
That's pretty stupid.

The only thing stupider would be somebody getting worked up over Pepper Potts' tweets.
 
2014-05-29 06:34:40 PM  
I remember that link posted on Fark about rumors of who has the herp and a lot of top shelf dime pieces may or may not have gotten the herp from derek jeter.  I'd like to start a rumor that she got the herp from derek jeter, let's see how she reacts.
 
2014-05-29 06:35:41 PM  
At this point, I really just think she's doing performance art.

Still daaaaaaaamn fine to look at though.
 
2014-05-29 06:36:33 PM  

brap: I remember the horror I encountered in the jungle when rebels had left pungi sticks dipped in Gweneth Paltrow's Meyer Lemon aoli recipe.  A reminder that war is hell, and refreshingly light snack that will cheer up any summer weekend and is particularly suitable for pairing with a light wine with subtle tannins and vibrant apricot and mango fruit overtones.

The tangy deliciousness in my wounds still haunts me.  As I stewed alone in solitude for years in that prison.  Much to my surprise my wounds actually were a delicious marinade.  The worst torture was the grill my captors  provided me had only regular plebeian store bought charcoal, not the hand-treated Amish hardwood that my loins desperately cried out for.  Much to my pleasure the canes which they beat me mercilessly with were actually sugar cane and made for a festive stirrer in the mojitos I was able to whip up poolside with fresh Persian limes I was able to smuggle into the hellhole in a festive but inconspicuous Jane Spade bag that was gifted bagged to me at the Trail of Tears, the Nam, the unspeakable horror that was The Oscars.


Unlike Gwyneth, this is a thing of beauty and wonder.
 
2014-05-29 06:37:45 PM  
Only a celebrity would think it's ok to compare their rich, comfortable life to a soldier at war. Ms. Paltrow and her ilk live in a fake world filled with hired handlers that constantly tell them how great and magical their farts smell. They complain about the photographers but secretly court them into following their every move.

What a self absorbed coont.
 
2014-05-29 06:38:09 PM  
When your comments start to echo the drivel that leaks out of Kanye West's mouth, you may want to re-evaluate your opinions.
 
2014-05-29 06:38:11 PM  
It seems she is one of those people who would be better off dropping out of public life for a while while everybody forgets how irritating she is.
 
2014-05-29 06:40:22 PM  
Our thoughts and prayers are with you Gwyneth.  I'll keep a yellow ribbon around a tree until you get through this.
 
2014-05-29 06:41:05 PM  
This just in. Wealthy people have a vastly, vastly inflated sense of how difficult their lives are.
 
2014-05-29 06:42:07 PM  

BadReligion: oldfarthenry: I wonder how she applies make-up on her face when her head is up her own ass 24/7?

I thought her head was in the box.


I would watch that
 
2014-05-29 06:42:17 PM  
I'll say that in a way I kinda understand where she's coming from. The internet is a mean, vile, nasty place, where people shiat on others they don't know for no reason whatsoever. However, if you take a step back, ignore what that says about society, and choose to look at it like a bunch of losers lashing out because their lives are so sad and pathetic in comparison, and realize you have it better than 99% of people on Earth, then your life will be that much better.

I can't imagine reading a steady stream of hatred and not being a little jarred, but have some self awareness and perspective. Also, maybe ignore the internet.
 
2014-05-29 06:45:31 PM  
Does Fendi make prosthetic limbs? Because I'd really like to see her have to wear one.
 
2014-05-29 06:47:45 PM  
I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me an actor. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror... Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies! I remember when I was doing charity work with Sean Penn in Haiti... seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to inoculate some children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there, and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried, I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out; I didn't know what I wanted to do! And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it... I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought, my God... the genius of that! The genius! The will to do that! Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we, because they could stand that these were not monsters, these were men... trained cadres. These men who acted with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men, our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment! Because it's judgment that defeats us.
 
2014-05-29 06:53:30 PM  
Gwyneth, would you please shut the fark up about how farking victimized you are? You are a rich actor. Ain't nobody oppressing you.
 
2014-05-29 06:53:31 PM  
God help me, I don't care how stupid and awful she is, I'd nail her. With depraved abandon.

Of course she'd have to be gagged.
 
2014-05-29 06:57:59 PM  

Colour_out_of_Space: She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.


I'll say this again - Pepper Potts is Gwyneth Paltrow's Snickers. She is 100% less idiotic when she's portraying her.
 
2014-05-29 07:03:01 PM  

Colour_out_of_Space: She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.
[www.gorgeous10.com image 500x378]


I'd pepper her pot (meaning I'd butt f*ck her).
 
2014-05-29 07:05:27 PM  

Car_Ramrod: I'll say that in a way I kinda understand where she's coming from. The internet is a mean, vile, nasty place, where people shiat on others they don't know for no reason whatsoever. However, if you take a step back, ignore what that says about society, and choose to look at it like a bunch of losers lashing out because their lives are so sad and pathetic in comparison, and realize you have it better than 99% of people on Earth, then your life will be that much better.

I can't imagine reading a steady stream of hatred and not being a little jarred, but have some self awareness and perspective. Also, maybe ignore the internet.


She just needs to stop pontificating.  She was born rich, never struggled professionally and was blessed with good looks.  She is an by every measure a very fortunate person, so she needs to stop dramatizing the few legitimate struggles of her exceedingly pampered life.

And she also needs to stop pontificating to us rustics about the way we live with her damn books, products and advice.  That's the key right there; no one would give a flying pygmy fark about her if she'd stop trying to sell extravagant shiat as life necessities.
 
2014-05-29 07:07:28 PM  

I don't like to see her trashed and smeared by losers on the internet. On the other hand, I like seeing her objectified.


www.moustachemagazine.com

 
2014-05-29 07:08:33 PM  
She's the first Woman Jesus.
 
2014-05-29 07:20:13 PM  
Can't we just see her ta-tas again? There's a mute button on your TV. Use it
 
2014-05-29 07:24:20 PM  
Some people lack the "know when to shut up" gene.
 
2014-05-29 07:28:08 PM  
You see me now a veteran of a thousand Twitter wars
I've been living on the edge so long, where the winds of limbo roar
And I'm young enough to look at, and far too old to see
All the scars are on the inside
I'm not sure that there's anything left of me


that's so sensitive, must have been written by Chris Martin,

otoh, i'd lick her all over and then some
 
2014-05-29 07:32:18 PM  
Oh. Gwyneth.
Really?
Being trashed on the internets is like being a soldier at war?
Farkers, is she right?
Because I know that's the "popular" version of what went on over there.
And a lot of people like to believe that.
I wish I could, but I was "there".
I wasn't here, tweeting, hoping I was right, thinking about it-
I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work!
Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him;
While Pussies like You were back here partying, putting on Designer Clothes, paying a goddamned Nanny while you strolled the Red Carpet, and listening to your goddam JZ albums!
OH!
OH!!
OH!!!
 
2014-05-29 07:36:28 PM  

Colour_out_of_Space: She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.
[www.gorgeous10.com image 500x378]


Yes.

She is an idiot, and I don't find her attractive any other time, but DAMN the "Pepper Potts" look suits her. Good Lord.
 
2014-05-29 07:43:07 PM  
"I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I said "yes" to a divorce. When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle. I'm here a week now... waiting for a mission... getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Gwyneth squats in the bush, she gets stronger. Each time I looked around the walls moved in a little tighter."

- Chris Martin, earlier today
 
2014-05-29 07:46:34 PM  
Your weren't there, man.  Back when we were in "Duets"... that was some real shiat.  So you weren't there, man.  You weren't there.
 
2014-05-29 07:54:14 PM  
I'd really hate to have every offhand remark I've ever uttered held up to scrutiny and picked apart by the Grievance Police. Until it has some effect on my life, she's welcome to  say or think what she wants, including analogizing internet abuse and war.
 
2014-05-29 07:57:46 PM  

Colour_out_of_Space: She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.
[www.gorgeous10.com image 500x378]


I know, right!??
She's ruining the Iron Man movies for me with every word.
Just stop it, Pepper.
 
2014-05-29 08:05:21 PM  

GhostFish: It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it.

Oh big farking deal. She wasn't saying they were equal.

The War On Christmas. The War on Women. The War on hunger.

World of Warcraft.

Warhammer.

All these things equate lesser things with war! So tear them all down for not showing proper respect, because we're a bunch of literal minded brain donors.


She's not going to sleep with you. I've defended her on Fark for the past year, and not even scored a handjob from her.
 
2014-05-29 08:12:17 PM  

MarcysMan: Oh. Gwyneth.
Really?
Being trashed on the internets is like being a soldier at war?
Farkers, is she right?
Because I know that's the "popular" version of what went on over there.
And a lot of people like to believe that.
I wish I could, but I was "there".
I wasn't here, tweeting, hoping I was right, thinking about it-
I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work!
Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him;
While Pussies like You were back here partying, putting on Designer Clothes, paying a goddamned Nanny while you strolled the Red Carpet, and listening to your goddam JZ albums!
OH!
OH!!
OH!!!


That farking pussy Truman.
 
2014-05-29 08:20:37 PM  

Billy Liar: "I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I said "yes" to a divorce...


Gwyneth didn't get called for the USO. She was dug in too deep or moving too fast. Her idea of great R&R was cold rice and a little rat meat risotto with a hint of truffle oil and toasted saffron pistils, served on hand-painted Goan china, accompanied by a Chateau de Marmoset '96 fume blanc and handmade artisan vanilla-rosewater candles. She had only two ways home: take the Gulfstream 6 via Gstaad, or have her driver pick her up in the Escalade.
 
2014-05-29 08:25:17 PM  
farking hell. You guys are such butt hurt sensitive sissies that I find myself in the unenviable position of white knighting a vapid celebrity.

You twunts even got the analogy wrong, she wasn't comparing it directly to war, but to being dehumanized and then defined by a traumatic experience. Could be anything in particular, but noooo, the butt hurt brigade had to get all upset and blow this out of proportion just so that they can stamp their tiny little feet in anger.

Really, I farking hate this chick, but I hate people who have to manufacture shiat to get upset about worse. Go find a real problem.
 
2014-05-29 08:27:20 PM  
FFS, her father took me hostage.  How could something so vapid come from such a wit?
 
2014-05-29 08:30:47 PM  
She really is stupid on an epic scale.
 
2014-05-29 08:35:59 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: GhostFish: It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it.

Oh big farking deal. She wasn't saying they were equal.

The War On Christmas. The War on Women. The War on hunger.

World of Warcraft.

Warhammer.

All these things equate lesser things with war! So tear them all down for not showing proper respect, because we're a bunch of literal minded brain donors.

She's not going to sleep with you. I've defended her on Fark for the past year, and not even scored a handjob from her.


Oh, NOW I get it.

A year ago, she knocked on my door, dropped to her knees and asked me "are you abe?"

I thought she said "are you able?"

I said "sure" and she's been blowing me nightly ever since
 
2014-05-29 08:37:21 PM  
No, she related the dehumanization/disassociation of internet commentary to the disassociation/dehumanization which is used as a coping mechanism in war.

This is all manufactured outrage because people love getting kneejerk.

"Our culture is trying to wrestle with the idea that everybody has a voice, and how it's unimportant and really important at the same time," said Paltrow. "We're in this very adolescent phase. It's dangerous, [because] we lack the capacity to say, 'Why does this matter to me, and who am I in this?' 'Why am I having opinions about Angelina Jolie's operation?' 'What is unhealed in me?' 'Why am I using the Internet to do this?'"
She compared the experience of living through vitriolic Internet commenters to surviving a war.
"You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it's a very dehumanizing thing. It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it," she said. "My hope is, as we get out of it, we'll reach the next level of conscience."


For those of you confused:

de·hu·man·ize
verb \(ˌ)dē-ˈhyü-mə-ˌnīz, (ˌ)dē-ˈyü-\
: to treat (someone) as though he or she is not a human being

transitive verb
:  to deprive of human qualities, personality, or spirit


The same people getting outraged over this shiat are the same folks who get upset when a professional athlete properly uses the term war, warfare, hero, etc when describing their recent game.  Based on the accepted definition of the words, they're perfectly within their right to use them in such a fashion.
 
2014-05-29 08:43:46 PM  

DeathByGeekSquad: No, she related the dehumanization/disassociation of internet commentary to the disassociation/dehumanization which is used as a coping mechanism in war.

This is all manufactured outrage because people love getting kneejerk.

"Our culture is trying to wrestle with the idea that everybody has a voice, and how it's unimportant and really important at the same time," said Paltrow. "We're in this very adolescent phase. It's dangerous, [because] we lack the capacity to say, 'Why does this matter to me, and who am I in this?' 'Why am I having opinions about Angelina Jolie's operation?' 'What is unhealed in me?' 'Why am I using the Internet to do this?'"
She compared the experience of living through vitriolic Internet commenters to surviving a war.
"You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it's a very dehumanizing thing. It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it," she said. "My hope is, as we get out of it, we'll reach the next level of conscience."

For those of you confused:

de·hu·man·ize
verb \(ˌ)dē-ˈhyü-mə-ˌnīz, (ˌ)dē-ˈyü-\
: to treat (someone) as though he or she is not a human being

transitive verb
:  to deprive of human qualities, personality, or spirit

The same people getting outraged over this shiat are the same folks who get upset when a professional athlete properly uses the term war, warfare, hero, etc when describing their recent game.  Based on the accepted definition of the words, they're perfectly within their right to use them in such a fashion.


Sorry logic and facts don't matter when you can so much more easily be outraged about your interpretation of what some celebrity you don't like said.
 
2014-05-29 08:46:41 PM  

js34603: DeathByGeekSquad: No, she related the dehumanization/disassociation of internet commentary to the disassociation/dehumanization which is used as a coping mechanism in war.

This is all manufactured outrage because people love getting kneejerk.

"Our culture is trying to wrestle with the idea that everybody has a voice, and how it's unimportant and really important at the same time," said Paltrow. "We're in this very adolescent phase. It's dangerous, [because] we lack the capacity to say, 'Why does this matter to me, and who am I in this?' 'Why am I having opinions about Angelina Jolie's operation?' 'What is unhealed in me?' 'Why am I using the Internet to do this?'"
She compared the experience of living through vitriolic Internet commenters to surviving a war.
"You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it's a very dehumanizing thing. It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it," she said. "My hope is, as we get out of it, we'll reach the next level of conscience."

For those of you confused:

de·hu·man·ize
verb \(ˌ)dē-ˈhyü-mə-ˌnīz, (ˌ)dē-ˈyü-\
: to treat (someone) as though he or she is not a human being

transitive verb
:  to deprive of human qualities, personality, or spirit

The same people getting outraged over this shiat are the same folks who get upset when a professional athlete properly uses the term war, warfare, hero, etc when describing their recent game.  Based on the accepted definition of the words, they're perfectly within their right to use them in such a fashion.

Sorry logic and facts don't matter when you can so much more easily be outraged about your interpretation of what some celebrity you don't like said.


SHE COMPARED SOMETHING TO WAR USING A BIG WORD.  BIG WORDS CANT RELATE TO WAR, THIS IS AN OUTRAGE.

images.sodahead.com
 
2014-05-29 08:49:26 PM  
I guess that old banana titted narcissist could quit googling herself. That could solve the problem.
 
2014-05-29 08:50:21 PM  

DeathByGeekSquad: No, she related the dehumanization/disassociation of internet commentary to the disassociation/dehumanization which is used as a coping mechanism in war.

This is all manufactured outrage because people love getting kneejerk.

"Our culture is trying to wrestle with the idea that everybody has a voice, and how it's unimportant and really important at the same time," said Paltrow. "We're in this very adolescent phase. It's dangerous, [because] we lack the capacity to say, 'Why does this matter to me, and who am I in this?' 'Why am I having opinions about Angelina Jolie's operation?' 'What is unhealed in me?' 'Why am I using the Internet to do this?'"
She compared the experience of living through vitriolic Internet commenters to surviving a war.
"You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it's a very dehumanizing thing. It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it," she said. "My hope is, as we get out of it, we'll reach the next level of conscience."

For those of you confused:

de·hu·man·ize
verb \(ˌ)dē-ˈhyü-mə-ˌnīz, (ˌ)dē-ˈyü-\
: to treat (someone) as though he or she is not a human being

transitive verb
:  to deprive of human qualities, personality, or spirit

The same people getting outraged over this shiat are the same folks who get upset when a professional athlete properly uses the term war, warfare, hero, etc when describing their recent game.  Based on the accepted definition of the words, they're perfectly within their right to use them in such a fashion.


If she had to compare people talking shiat about her to anything, she should compare it to dealing with pre-pubescent girls. They are crazy and mean, spiteful little assholes.
Every woman has been through that, and while hellish, is not war.
 
2014-05-29 08:50:42 PM  
Oh, I dunno.

Twitter has been known to give feminists PTSD. Many other feminists find the need for all sorts of trigger warnings and censoring on the net in order to make it a safe place for them.

To me that sounds a lot like how refugees in a war zone might feel after the various sorts of maltreatment they have been through.

I am going to have to give this round to Ms. Paltrow.

I read Jezebel so I know these things.
 
2014-05-29 08:52:43 PM  
Dehumanization is such a big word - it's been around since Richard the 3rd.
 
2014-05-29 08:54:06 PM  

js34603: MarcysMan: Oh. Gwyneth.
Really?
Being trashed on the internets is like being a soldier at war?
Farkers, is she right?
Because I know that's the "popular" version of what went on over there.
And a lot of people like to believe that.
I wish I could, but I was "there".
I wasn't here, tweeting, hoping I was right, thinking about it-
I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work!
Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him;
While Pussies like You were back here partying, putting on Designer Clothes, paying a goddamned Nanny while you strolled the Red Carpet, and listening to your goddam JZ albums!
OH!
OH!!
OH!!!

That farking pussy Truman.


I like the way you think.
I'm gonna be watching you...
 
2014-05-29 08:59:41 PM  

RoyBatty: Oh, I dunno.

Twitter has been known to give feminists PTSD. Many other feminists find the need for all sorts of trigger warnings and censoring on the net in order to make it a safe place for them.


Perhaps they should spend less time telling themselves how traumatized they are and more time being adults in the real world.
 
2014-05-29 09:01:40 PM  
Is it possible to buy Trigger Warning posters? I think it only fair that I put one on the bathroom door.
 
2014-05-29 09:06:55 PM  
She needs to be punched in the face.
 
2014-05-29 09:12:32 PM  

Zerochance: Car_Ramrod: I'll say that in a way I kinda understand where she's coming from. The internet is a mean, vile, nasty place, where people shiat on others they don't know for no reason whatsoever. However, if you take a step back, ignore what that says about society, and choose to look at it like a bunch of losers lashing out because their lives are so sad and pathetic in comparison, and realize you have it better than 99% of people on Earth, then your life will be that much better.

I can't imagine reading a steady stream of hatred and not being a little jarred, but have some self awareness and perspective. Also, maybe ignore the internet.

She just needs to stop pontificating.  She was born rich, never struggled professionally and was blessed with good looks.  She is an by every measure a very fortunate person, so she needs to stop dramatizing the few legitimate struggles of her exceedingly pampered life.

And she also needs to stop pontificating to us rustics about the way we live with her damn books, products and advice.  That's the key right there; no one would give a flying pygmy fark about her if she'd stop trying to sell extravagant shiat as life necessities.


So Judy Greer was on Paul F Thompkins' web series "Speakeasy", and she says she was talking to a director about how she's able to balance all her work and still have a solid family life, and the director goes, "Oh, it's really easy. Just have someone to come in to cook and clean up and come in a few days a week." And their response was, oh, just be rich, easy.

Watch it here. She specifically references GOOP.

/GIANT crush on Judy Greer
 
2014-05-29 09:18:39 PM  

Car_Ramrod: /GIANT crush on Judy Greer


I want to go Hank Moody all over her.
 
2014-05-29 09:33:46 PM  

doyner: After 17 years of military service, I can say without exception that the only thing that scares me any more is the thought of being on the receiving end of a negative tweet.


Lulz...

Put on a reflective belt, fire up your computer and gird your loins.  Think mortars are bad?  Wait for the hashtags.  I still wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat over those farking hashtags.

/And Paltrow an eat a bag of dicks.
 
2014-05-29 09:57:00 PM  
I'm not a fan of hers. I'm not even straight.

nttawwt
 
2014-05-29 10:02:20 PM  

Bedstead Polisher: DeathByGeekSquad: No, she related the dehumanization/disassociation of internet commentary to the disassociation/dehumanization which is used as a coping mechanism in war.

This is all manufactured outrage because people love getting kneejerk.

"Our culture is trying to wrestle with the idea that everybody has a voice, and how it's unimportant and really important at the same time," said Paltrow. "We're in this very adolescent phase. It's dangerous, [because] we lack the capacity to say, 'Why does this matter to me, and who am I in this?' 'Why am I having opinions about Angelina Jolie's operation?' 'What is unhealed in me?' 'Why am I using the Internet to do this?'"
She compared the experience of living through vitriolic Internet commenters to surviving a war.
"You come across [online comments] about yourself and about your friends, and it's a very dehumanizing thing. It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it," she said. "My hope is, as we get out of it, we'll reach the next level of conscience."

For those of you confused:

de·hu·man·ize
verb \(ˌ)dē-ˈhyü-mə-ˌnīz, (ˌ)dē-ˈyü-\
: to treat (someone) as though he or she is not a human being

transitive verb
:  to deprive of human qualities, personality, or spirit

The same people getting outraged over this shiat are the same folks who get upset when a professional athlete properly uses the term war, warfare, hero, etc when describing their recent game.  Based on the accepted definition of the words, they're perfectly within their right to use them in such a fashion.

If she had to compare people talking shiat about her to anything, she should compare it to dealing with pre-pubescent girls. They are crazy and mean, spiteful little assholes.
Every woman has been through that, and while hellish, is not war.


She's comparing the dehumanization existing in her situation, to dehumanization in a war.  She even chose wording that indicates it's not 1:1.

Let's examine the outrage:

You get your arm ripped off.
I stub my toe.

Stubbing my toe wasn't painful to the degree of having your arm ripped off.

Legitimate, clickbait headline:  DBGS compares stubbing their toe to Bedstead Polisher having their arm ripped off!
 
2014-05-29 10:17:28 PM  
wac.450f.edgecastcdn.net
 Knows your pain.
Veteran of the rec.arts.startrek Wars,1987 to 1990
 
2014-05-29 10:22:03 PM  

RoyBatty: I read Jezebel so I know these things.


Is it your job to shiat in every thread with this sentence? You're like the guy who killed all those people because women wouldn't fark him, except you're too big of a pussy to actually murder anyone. You just do this.
 
2014-05-29 10:25:58 PM  

Colour_out_of_Space: She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.


This. She's way too hot to actually let her ruin it by talking.
 
2014-05-29 10:41:44 PM  

Internet Meme Rogers: RoyBatty: I read Jezebel so I know these things.

Is it your job to shiat in every thread with this sentence? You're like the guy who killed all those people because women wouldn't fark him, except you're too big of a pussy to actually murder anyone. You just do this.


Seriously? I've said it twice in four days and never before so now I am

+ a pussy
+ a spree killer

Seriously girl, you've got a sandbox up your cooze.
 
2014-05-29 10:44:16 PM  
I liked her in the Iron Man movies, but gods she's a c*nt.
 
2014-05-29 11:00:08 PM  

RoyBatty: Internet Meme Rogers: RoyBatty: I read Jezebel so I know these things.

Is it your job to shiat in every thread with this sentence? You're like the guy who killed all those people because women wouldn't fark him, except you're too big of a pussy to actually murder anyone. You just do this.

Seriously? I've said it twice in four days and never before so now I am

+ a pussy
+ a spree killer

Seriously girl, you've got a sandbox up your cooze.


Are you some sort of misogyny robot?

Anyway.

I find Paltrow's total lack of self-awareness fascinating. Especially since she seems to believe she's very introspective and deep.
 
2014-05-29 11:01:37 PM  
Ha! Whatta silly stupid biatch.

GFY.
 
2014-05-29 11:05:10 PM  

Internet Meme Rogers: RoyBatty: Internet Meme Rogers: RoyBatty: I read Jezebel so I know these things.

Is it your job to shiat in every thread with this sentence? You're like the guy who killed all those people because women wouldn't fark him, except you're too big of a pussy to actually murder anyone. You just do this.

Seriously? I've said it twice in four days and never before so now I am

+ a pussy
+ a spree killer

Seriously girl, you've got a sandbox up your cooze.

Are you some sort of misogyny robot?

Anyway.

I find Paltrow's total lack of self-awareness fascinating. Especially since she seems to believe she's very introspective and deep.


You accuse me of being a pussy and like a spree killer and when I tell you off you call me a misogyny robot.

With self-awareness like that, I am pretty sure you are Lindy West.
 
2014-05-29 11:09:51 PM  
It's not even fun to make fun of her. She makes it too easy.
 
2014-05-29 11:22:54 PM  

RoyBatty: when I tell you off you


LOL
 
2014-05-29 11:26:52 PM  

Internet Meme Rogers: RoyBatty: when I tell you off you

LOL


LOL.

misogyny: hatred of women.,

I hate women because:

+ I think feminist claims of PTSD from twitter is ludicrous
+ I think feminist demands for trigger warnings are ludicrous
+ I think Jezebel is ludicrous
+ when you compare me to a spree killer I think you are ludicrous
+ when you call me a pussy I tell you of your sandy vagina

This is why you think it's reasonable to make the claim I hate women, although I haven't made a single statement about women.

Congratulations on your gender studies degree.
 
2014-05-29 11:46:49 PM  
You don't know what a feminist is.

You're fixated on a website that you perceive as a bastion of militant and reactionary women.

You think saying a woman has sand in her vagina wasn't played out 10 years ago.

You're probably pretty old, huh?
 
2014-05-29 11:56:30 PM  
Terrible human being...Gooper Paltrow
 
2014-05-30 12:00:25 AM  

Internet Meme Rogers: You don't know what a feminist is.

You're fixated on a website that you perceive as a bastion of militant and reactionary women.

You think saying a woman has sand in her vagina wasn't played out 10 years ago.

You're probably pretty old, huh?


So...

+ It is ludicrous of me to think Jezebel represents feminist thought
+ It is ludicrous of me to think a feminist Melody Hensley getting articles all over about her Twitter induced PTSD and getting support from FreeThoughtBlogs and SkepChick and other feminists represents feminist thought
+ SkepChick doesn't represent feminist thought
+ FreeThoughtBlogs doesn't represent feminist thought
+ I have no idea what a feminist is
+ and saying you have a sandy vagina in response to your calling me a pussy is played out

And because twice in two days I made fun of feminism and Jezebel

that's why it's okay for you to say

+ I am a pussy
+ I am a spree killer
+ I am probably pretty old

I bet this sort of argument worked well for you in gender studies,
I am pretty sure it works well for you in real life too :(

lulz
 
2014-05-30 12:23:36 AM  
I didn't say you were a killer.

I don't know what those other sites you mentioned are.

I saw you use the exact same sentence in two threads that had nothing whatever to do with feminism.

I stand by my guess that you're old.
 
2014-05-30 12:25:48 AM  

Internet Meme Rogers: I didn't say you were a killer.

I don't know what those other sites you mentioned are.

I saw you use the exact same sentence in two threads that had nothing whatever to do with feminism.

I stand by my guess that you're old.


No, you just said I was like that spree killer.

Well that settles it, Internet Meme Rogers, we're through and  I am no longer going to masturbate to you as my manic pixie dream girl.
 
2014-05-30 12:38:10 AM  
By Oscar, I am not covetous for gold,
Nor care I who doth tweet of my divorce;
It yearns me not if you my Prada wear
Such outward things dwell not in my desires:
But if it be a sin to love attention,
I am the most offending soul alive!
 
2014-05-30 12:52:08 AM  
She must have some serious dirt on the biggest people in Hollywood. She's stupid, not a good actress, not attractive, not good at anything she does......she's an older blonde Kardashian.
 
2014-05-30 02:01:40 AM  
It's ridiculous how many awful things I want to do with her. It's seriously obscene. However, she and reality had a conscious uncoupling a long time ago, so I'm wondering if that might make it icky.
 
2014-05-30 03:08:38 AM  
Everyone is scared in her first feature film. If she says he's not, she's a liar. Some are cowards but they act as well as the brave or they get the heck slammed out of them watching Twitter fights amongst movie reviewers who are as scared as they are. The real hero is the actor who acts even though she is scared. Some get over stage fright in a minute under the spotlight. For some, it takes an hour. For some, it takes days. But a real actor will never let their fear of a bad review overpower her arrogance, her sense of duty to her agent, and her innate attention whoriness. Hollywood is the most magnificent competition in which a human being can indulge. It brings out all that is base and it removes all that is best.

/Farkers, you magnificent bastards ... I read your posts.
//thank God it's Failday.
 
2014-05-30 03:28:56 AM  

skinink: I don't like to see her trashed and smeared by losers on the internet. On the other hand, I like seeing her objectified.
[www.moustachemagazine.com image 635x872]


I don't normally find her bad looking or anything, but for some reason all I can think of when I see that picture is how freaking big her head is. And not metaphorically, she looks like a human lollipop.
 
2014-05-30 05:25:29 AM  
My advice to Ms. Paltrow would be to stop saying things.
 
2014-05-30 07:15:25 AM  

rustypdx: This. She's way too hot to actually let her ruin it by talking.


I never find Gwyneth Paltrow hot, because she never seems like fun. She looks great and has a great body, but I'd much rather get dirty with Tina Fey.

And she's not a good actress. Watch Hard Eight where she's supposed to play a poor hooker and she just plays it as Gwyneth Paltrow. It ruins the whole film for me.
 
2014-05-30 07:52:56 AM  
She did not compare celebrity blah blah to war.  She questioned the abuse of technology in peoples' lives and used war as an example of transforming bad experiences into something positive for the future.


I swear to farking christ, people keep proving her point.  But she probably needs to shut up about how bad her life is anyway because it isn't helping.
 
2014-05-30 08:29:13 AM  

fusillade762: Are we sure she actually said this? Didn't the last story about a celebrity who made a similar claim turn out to be a hoax?


That would have been when Tom Cruise was deliberately misquoted to twist what he was saying. They suggested he was equating a film shoot with war. Although I think Cruise is one of the most punchable-faced celebrities out there and loathe the thought of defending him, the way they twisted his words was pretty extreme and clearly done with the intention of defamation.

It would be like quoting someone saying: "I only like child molesters who are hanging dead form barbed wire after a good beating" and turning it into: "I only like child molesters!"

Paltrow's quote in its entirety, on the other hand, is really hard to dismiss as "taken out of context."
 
2014-05-30 08:47:36 AM  
Basically, she needs to be more careful with her analogies and stop trying to sound "profound and insightful" when she's neither.
 
2014-05-30 10:33:18 AM  

farkeruk: rustypdx: This. She's way too hot to actually let her ruin it by talking.

I never find Gwyneth Paltrow hot, because she never seems like fun. She looks great and has a great body, but I'd much rather get dirty with Tina Fey.

And she's not a good actress. Watch Hard Eight where she's supposed to play a poor hooker and she just plays it as Gwyneth Paltrow. It ruins the whole film for me.


Beauty is subjective.

Acting skill is a matter of taste.

Tina Fey is objectively superior to GOOP.
 
2014-05-30 10:54:14 AM  

rustypdx: farkeruk: rustypdx: This. She's way too hot to actually let her ruin it by talking.

I never find Gwyneth Paltrow hot, because she never seems like fun. She looks great and has a great body, but I'd much rather get dirty with Tina Fey.

And she's not a good actress. Watch Hard Eight where she's supposed to play a poor hooker and she just plays it as Gwyneth Paltrow. It ruins the whole film for me.

Beauty is subjective.

Acting skill is a matter of taste.

Tina Fey is objectively superior to GOOP.


I'm telling you, Paltrow fits into Pepper Potts just as much, if not more, than Downey does into Tony Stark. Whomever made that casting decision back then should go help DC out, because that person or persons know something a whole lot of other people don't.
 
2014-05-30 12:41:59 PM  

Colour_out_of_Space: She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.
[www.gorgeous10.com image 500x378]


Always thought she was just "meh"...then she become Pepper and I said "WTF?!  How did she become so farking hawt?!"
 
Displayed 99 of 99 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter








In Other Media
  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report