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(TMZ)   Gwyneth Paltrow compares being a celebrity trashed on the internet to being a soldier at war. Die with your Christian Louboutins on   (tmz.com) divider line 102
    More: Stupid, Gwyneth Paltrow, Veterans for Peace, Cindy McCain, breaking newses, Christian Louboutin, Tom Cruise  
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2232 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 May 2014 at 6:25 PM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-29 03:16:55 PM
Paltrow -- whose most recent life struggle was probably a scuffed nail -- added, "My hope is, as we get out of it, we'll reach the next level of conscience."

The next level of unconsciousness is easier to reach.
whiskeynose.com
 
2014-05-29 03:32:10 PM
After 17 years of military service, I can say without exception that the only thing that scares me any more is the thought of being on the receiving end of a negative tweet.
 
2014-05-29 03:47:39 PM
Charlie don't surf the web!
 
2014-05-29 03:50:38 PM
i1-news.softpedia-static.com

You see me now a veteran of a thousand Twitter wars
I've been living on the edge so long, where the winds of limbo roar
And I'm young enough to look at, and far too old to see
All the scars are on the inside
I'm not sure that there's anything left of me
 
2014-05-29 03:51:14 PM
I wonder how she applies make-up on her face when her head is up her own ass 24/7?
 
2014-05-29 03:58:29 PM
I remember the horror I encountered in the jungle when rebels had left pungi sticks dipped in Gweneth Paltrow's Meyer Lemon aoli recipe.  A reminder that war is hell, and refreshingly light snack that will cheer up any summer weekend and is particularly suitable for pairing with a light wine with subtle tannins and vibrant apricot and mango fruit overtones.

The tangy deliciousness in my wounds still haunts me.  As I stewed alone in solitude for years in that prison.  Much to my surprise my wounds actually were a delicious marinade.  The worst torture was the grill my captors  provided me had only regular plebeian store bought charcoal, not the hand-treated Amish hardwood that my loins desperately cried out for.  Much to my pleasure the canes which they beat me mercilessly with were actually sugar cane and made for a festive stirrer in the mojitos I was able to whip up poolside with fresh Persian limes I was able to smuggle into the hellhole in a festive but inconspicuous Jane Spade bag that was gifted bagged to me at the Trail of Tears, the Nam, the unspeakable horror that was The Oscars.
 
2014-05-29 04:11:03 PM
Although I usually try to avoid judging people based solely on publicity and rumours, virtually every single story I've heard/read about her makes her out to be one Dyson sphere sized biatch.
 
2014-05-29 04:40:34 PM
Just when I think she couldn't be a bigger twunt, she goes and opens her mouth again.
 
2014-05-29 04:42:27 PM

oldfarthenry: I wonder how she applies make-up on her face when her head is up her own ass 24/7?


I thought her head was in the box.
 
2014-05-29 04:51:15 PM
Fairly certain I can hear my grandpa rolling in his grave right now.

What a coont.
 
2014-05-29 05:54:20 PM

brap: Charlie don't surf the web!


brap: I remember the horror I encountered in the jungle when rebels had left pungi sticks dipped in Gweneth Paltrow's Meyer Lemon aoli recipe.  A reminder that war is hell, and refreshingly light snack that will cheer up any summer weekend and is particularly suitable for pairing with a light wine with subtle tannins and vibrant apricot and mango fruit overtones.

The tangy deliciousness in my wounds still haunts me.  As I stewed alone in solitude for years in that prison.  Much to my surprise my wounds actually were a delicious marinade.  The worst torture was the grill my captors  provided me had only regular plebeian store bought charcoal, not the hand-treated Amish hardwood that my loins desperately cried out for.  Much to my pleasure the canes which they beat me mercilessly with were actually sugar cane and made for a festive stirrer in the mojitos I was able to whip up poolside with fresh Persian limes I was able to smuggle into the hellhole in a festive but inconspicuous Jane Spade bag that was gifted bagged to me at the Trail of Tears, the Nam, the unspeakable horror that was The Oscars.


This is why I have brap favorited in super-fun Purple 3.
 
2014-05-29 06:22:10 PM
Gwyneth will bomb Perl Harbor.
 
2014-05-29 06:28:54 PM

WhiskeySticks: Fairly certain I can hear my grandpa rolling in his grave right now.

What a coont.


That's no way to speak about your grandpa!
 
2014-05-29 06:29:18 PM

BadReligion: oldfarthenry: I wonder how she applies make-up on her face when her head is up her own ass 24/7?

I thought her head was in the box.


24.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-29 06:30:23 PM
Biatch was born on third base and thinks she hit a triple.
 
2014-05-29 06:33:15 PM
Are we sure she actually said this? Didn't the last story about a celebrity who made a similar claim turn out to be a hoax?

Not that I would put it past her.
 
2014-05-29 06:33:23 PM
She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.
www.gorgeous10.com
 
2014-05-29 06:33:24 PM
Can we get an upgrade to an asinine tag please?
 
2014-05-29 06:33:40 PM
That's pretty stupid.

The only thing stupider would be somebody getting worked up over Pepper Potts' tweets.
 
2014-05-29 06:34:37 PM
It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it.

Oh big farking deal. She wasn't saying they were equal.

The War On Christmas. The War on Women. The War on hunger.

World of Warcraft.

Warhammer.

All these things equate lesser things with war! So tear them all down for not showing proper respect, because we're a bunch of literal minded brain donors.
 
2014-05-29 06:34:40 PM
I remember that link posted on Fark about rumors of who has the herp and a lot of top shelf dime pieces may or may not have gotten the herp from derek jeter.  I'd like to start a rumor that she got the herp from derek jeter, let's see how she reacts.
 
2014-05-29 06:35:41 PM
At this point, I really just think she's doing performance art.

Still daaaaaaaamn fine to look at though.
 
2014-05-29 06:36:33 PM

brap: I remember the horror I encountered in the jungle when rebels had left pungi sticks dipped in Gweneth Paltrow's Meyer Lemon aoli recipe.  A reminder that war is hell, and refreshingly light snack that will cheer up any summer weekend and is particularly suitable for pairing with a light wine with subtle tannins and vibrant apricot and mango fruit overtones.

The tangy deliciousness in my wounds still haunts me.  As I stewed alone in solitude for years in that prison.  Much to my surprise my wounds actually were a delicious marinade.  The worst torture was the grill my captors  provided me had only regular plebeian store bought charcoal, not the hand-treated Amish hardwood that my loins desperately cried out for.  Much to my pleasure the canes which they beat me mercilessly with were actually sugar cane and made for a festive stirrer in the mojitos I was able to whip up poolside with fresh Persian limes I was able to smuggle into the hellhole in a festive but inconspicuous Jane Spade bag that was gifted bagged to me at the Trail of Tears, the Nam, the unspeakable horror that was The Oscars.


Unlike Gwyneth, this is a thing of beauty and wonder.
 
2014-05-29 06:37:45 PM
Only a celebrity would think it's ok to compare their rich, comfortable life to a soldier at war. Ms. Paltrow and her ilk live in a fake world filled with hired handlers that constantly tell them how great and magical their farts smell. They complain about the photographers but secretly court them into following their every move.

What a self absorbed coont.
 
2014-05-29 06:38:09 PM
When your comments start to echo the drivel that leaks out of Kanye West's mouth, you may want to re-evaluate your opinions.
 
2014-05-29 06:38:11 PM
It seems she is one of those people who would be better off dropping out of public life for a while while everybody forgets how irritating she is.
 
2014-05-29 06:40:22 PM
Our thoughts and prayers are with you Gwyneth.  I'll keep a yellow ribbon around a tree until you get through this.
 
2014-05-29 06:41:05 PM
This just in. Wealthy people have a vastly, vastly inflated sense of how difficult their lives are.
 
2014-05-29 06:42:07 PM

BadReligion: oldfarthenry: I wonder how she applies make-up on her face when her head is up her own ass 24/7?

I thought her head was in the box.


I would watch that
 
2014-05-29 06:42:17 PM
I'll say that in a way I kinda understand where she's coming from. The internet is a mean, vile, nasty place, where people shiat on others they don't know for no reason whatsoever. However, if you take a step back, ignore what that says about society, and choose to look at it like a bunch of losers lashing out because their lives are so sad and pathetic in comparison, and realize you have it better than 99% of people on Earth, then your life will be that much better.

I can't imagine reading a steady stream of hatred and not being a little jarred, but have some self awareness and perspective. Also, maybe ignore the internet.
 
2014-05-29 06:45:31 PM
Does Fendi make prosthetic limbs? Because I'd really like to see her have to wear one.
 
2014-05-29 06:47:45 PM
I've seen horrors... horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me an actor. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that... but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror... Horror has a face... and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies! I remember when I was doing charity work with Sean Penn in Haiti... seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to inoculate some children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for polio, and this old man came running after us and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there, and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember... I... I... I cried, I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out; I didn't know what I wanted to do! And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it... I never want to forget. And then I realized... like I was shot... like I was shot with a diamond... a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought, my God... the genius of that! The genius! The will to do that! Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we, because they could stand that these were not monsters, these were men... trained cadres. These men who acted with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love... but they had the strength... the strength... to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men, our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral... and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling... without passion... without judgment... without judgment! Because it's judgment that defeats us.
 
2014-05-29 06:53:30 PM
Gwyneth, would you please shut the fark up about how farking victimized you are? You are a rich actor. Ain't nobody oppressing you.
 
2014-05-29 06:53:31 PM
God help me, I don't care how stupid and awful she is, I'd nail her. With depraved abandon.

Of course she'd have to be gagged.
 
2014-05-29 06:57:59 PM

Colour_out_of_Space: She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.


I'll say this again - Pepper Potts is Gwyneth Paltrow's Snickers. She is 100% less idiotic when she's portraying her.
 
2014-05-29 07:03:01 PM

Colour_out_of_Space: She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.
[www.gorgeous10.com image 500x378]


I'd pepper her pot (meaning I'd butt f*ck her).
 
2014-05-29 07:05:27 PM

Car_Ramrod: I'll say that in a way I kinda understand where she's coming from. The internet is a mean, vile, nasty place, where people shiat on others they don't know for no reason whatsoever. However, if you take a step back, ignore what that says about society, and choose to look at it like a bunch of losers lashing out because their lives are so sad and pathetic in comparison, and realize you have it better than 99% of people on Earth, then your life will be that much better.

I can't imagine reading a steady stream of hatred and not being a little jarred, but have some self awareness and perspective. Also, maybe ignore the internet.


She just needs to stop pontificating.  She was born rich, never struggled professionally and was blessed with good looks.  She is an by every measure a very fortunate person, so she needs to stop dramatizing the few legitimate struggles of her exceedingly pampered life.

And she also needs to stop pontificating to us rustics about the way we live with her damn books, products and advice.  That's the key right there; no one would give a flying pygmy fark about her if she'd stop trying to sell extravagant shiat as life necessities.
 
2014-05-29 07:07:28 PM

I don't like to see her trashed and smeared by losers on the internet. On the other hand, I like seeing her objectified.


www.moustachemagazine.com

 
2014-05-29 07:08:33 PM
She's the first Woman Jesus.
 
2014-05-29 07:20:13 PM
Can't we just see her ta-tas again? There's a mute button on your TV. Use it
 
2014-05-29 07:24:20 PM
Some people lack the "know when to shut up" gene.
 
2014-05-29 07:28:08 PM
You see me now a veteran of a thousand Twitter wars
I've been living on the edge so long, where the winds of limbo roar
And I'm young enough to look at, and far too old to see
All the scars are on the inside
I'm not sure that there's anything left of me


that's so sensitive, must have been written by Chris Martin,

otoh, i'd lick her all over and then some
 
2014-05-29 07:32:18 PM
Oh. Gwyneth.
Really?
Being trashed on the internets is like being a soldier at war?
Farkers, is she right?
Because I know that's the "popular" version of what went on over there.
And a lot of people like to believe that.
I wish I could, but I was "there".
I wasn't here, tweeting, hoping I was right, thinking about it-
I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work!
Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him;
While Pussies like You were back here partying, putting on Designer Clothes, paying a goddamned Nanny while you strolled the Red Carpet, and listening to your goddam JZ albums!
OH!
OH!!
OH!!!
 
2014-05-29 07:36:28 PM

Colour_out_of_Space: She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.
[www.gorgeous10.com image 500x378]


Yes.

She is an idiot, and I don't find her attractive any other time, but DAMN the "Pepper Potts" look suits her. Good Lord.
 
2014-05-29 07:43:07 PM
"I'd wake up and there'd be nothing. I hardly said a word to my wife, until I said "yes" to a divorce. When I was here, I wanted to be there; when I was there, all I could think of was getting back into the jungle. I'm here a week now... waiting for a mission... getting softer. Every minute I stay in this room, I get weaker, and every minute Gwyneth squats in the bush, she gets stronger. Each time I looked around the walls moved in a little tighter."

- Chris Martin, earlier today
 
2014-05-29 07:46:34 PM
Your weren't there, man.  Back when we were in "Duets"... that was some real shiat.  So you weren't there, man.  You weren't there.
 
2014-05-29 07:54:14 PM
I'd really hate to have every offhand remark I've ever uttered held up to scrutiny and picked apart by the Grievance Police. Until it has some effect on my life, she's welcome to  say or think what she wants, including analogizing internet abuse and war.
 
2014-05-29 07:57:46 PM

Colour_out_of_Space: She needs to stop saying stupid things and to dress like Pepper Potts all the time.
[www.gorgeous10.com image 500x378]


I know, right!??
She's ruining the Iron Man movies for me with every word.
Just stop it, Pepper.
 
2014-05-29 08:05:21 PM

GhostFish: It's almost like how, in war, you go through this bloody, dehumanizing thing, and then something is defined out of it.

Oh big farking deal. She wasn't saying they were equal.

The War On Christmas. The War on Women. The War on hunger.

World of Warcraft.

Warhammer.

All these things equate lesser things with war! So tear them all down for not showing proper respect, because we're a bunch of literal minded brain donors.


She's not going to sleep with you. I've defended her on Fark for the past year, and not even scored a handjob from her.
 
2014-05-29 08:12:17 PM

MarcysMan: Oh. Gwyneth.
Really?
Being trashed on the internets is like being a soldier at war?
Farkers, is she right?
Because I know that's the "popular" version of what went on over there.
And a lot of people like to believe that.
I wish I could, but I was "there".
I wasn't here, tweeting, hoping I was right, thinking about it-
I was up to my knees in rice paddies, with guns that didn't work!
Going in there, looking for Charlie, slugging it out with him;
While Pussies like You were back here partying, putting on Designer Clothes, paying a goddamned Nanny while you strolled the Red Carpet, and listening to your goddam JZ albums!
OH!
OH!!
OH!!!


That farking pussy Truman.
 
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