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(Newser)   Scientists have finally defined premature ejaculation. Critics say study could have gone longer if it had really wanted to   (newser.com) divider line 44
    More: Interesting, Journal of Sexual Medicine  
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4546 clicks; posted to Geek » on 29 May 2014 at 6:36 PM (34 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



44 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-29 03:36:35 PM  
"I came!"  Tom ejaculated swiftly.
 
2014-05-29 06:37:52 PM  
And the definition has a picture from this guy's fark profile.
 
2014-05-29 06:40:01 PM  

BumpInTheNight: And the definition has a picture from this guy's fark profile.


You son of a biatch.  Outing farkers is against the TOS.  I'm reporting you, ENJOY YOUR BAN!!!!
 
2014-05-29 06:40:39 PM  
The study should have thought about baseball.
 
Rat [TotalFark]
2014-05-29 06:41:24 PM  
Who's trying to be a hero and farking up the bell curve?

™  I'll do better next time.  I promise.
 
2014-05-29 06:41:44 PM  
Gentlemen lets reframe this. Sex is a race! A race to see who comes first. And I usually win.

This mssg was sent using only the tip.of my penis.
 
2014-05-29 06:42:03 PM  
I kind of envy guys who can do this. Honestly, it takes me a loong time to orgasm, and it can sometimes be very frustrating both for me and my partner. Everything works... it just doesn't work in ten minutes.
 
2014-05-29 06:42:21 PM  

BumpInTheNight: And the definition has a picture from this guy's fark profile.


Hey, I've got better things to do than work up a sweat on some old broad.
 
2014-05-29 06:42:23 PM  

BumpInTheNight: And the definition has a picture from this guy's fark profile.


Heh. Nicely done. :)
 
2014-05-29 06:43:06 PM  
img0.joyreactor.com
 
2014-05-29 06:43:25 PM  
The results of a survey like this have been a long time coming.
 
2014-05-29 06:44:03 PM  

BumpInTheNight: And the definition has a picture from this guy's fark profile.


You're smurfing shiat about Papa?  I'm gonna smurf you up mothersmurfer
 
2014-05-29 06:47:30 PM  
FTFA "men whose sexual experiences have always lasted no more than about a minute after penetration"

This really isn't a problem unless you actually care about the penetrated getting off.

It could've even been an evolutionary advantage, less time spent farking is less time that a predator could get you and more time to go after other mates!

/I came first,  I win again!!
 
2014-05-29 06:50:41 PM  
This reminds me of that saturday morning breakfast comic about preemie man.

"Are you all right? I came as fast as I could."
 
2014-05-29 06:52:00 PM  
It says the average is 4 min ?

Is this another gay/stright way out of imballance thing I cant think of a single time that it was less then 15 min when either topping or bottoming
 
2014-05-29 06:54:19 PM  
Erm, "premature" for whom, exactly?
 
2014-05-29 06:54:19 PM  
After you've been together for six months, I doubt you can have a "premature" one, because then after a minute or two she's tapping your shoulder with an are-you-done-yet? look on her face.  YMMV
 
2014-05-29 07:00:43 PM  
"Men don't suffer from premature ejaculation! Women suffer."  - not sure which comic.
 
2014-05-29 07:01:06 PM  

cardex: It says the average is 4 min ?

Is this another gay/stright way out of imballance thing I cant think of a single time that it was less then 15 min when either topping or bottoming


If I packed my wife's downtown entertainment district with poo,id prolly last longer too.
 
2014-05-29 07:02:49 PM  
Another joke about coming too fast.

How long does it take for a woman to orgasm?

Who Cares?
 
2014-05-29 07:04:19 PM  

cardex: It says the average is 4 min ?

Is this another gay/stright way out of imballance thing I cant think of a single time that it was less then 15 min when either topping or bottoming


How you doin?
 
2014-05-29 07:04:36 PM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: cardex: It says the average is 4 min ?

Is this another gay/stright way out of imballance thing I cant think of a single time that it was less then 15 min when either topping or bottoming

If I packed my wife's downtown entertainment district with poo,id prolly last longer too.


0-media-cdn.foolz.us
Why would you do that?
 
2014-05-29 07:07:55 PM  

Boo_Guy: It could've even been an evolutionary advantage, less time spent farking is less time that a predator could get you and more time to go after other mates!


This, and you could also switch out "a predator" with "the dominant male".  There's some species of monkey that can ejaculate in three seconds.  You're trying to wall off millions of years of evolution by thinking about something dull.  It's amazing it ever works at all (until you start getting old and your baseline arousal level plummets).
 
2014-05-29 07:12:19 PM  

cardex: It says the average is 4 min ?

Is this another gay/stright way out of imballance thing I cant think of a single time that it was less then 15 min when either topping or bottoming


This article still doesn't define it for me, but the best guess I can get from the article is the timing is constant penetration.  No foreplay, no breaks, no taking it really slow, no position switching.
 
2014-05-29 07:12:42 PM  
Make a woman cum before she gets to the bed and you're Casanova. She does that that to you and you have some sort of dysfunction.
 
2014-05-29 07:16:56 PM  
It's only premature if you don't warn them first
 
2014-05-29 07:17:03 PM  

12349876: cardex: It says the average is 4 min ?

Is this another gay/stright way out of imballance thing I cant think of a single time that it was less then 15 min when either topping or bottoming

This article still doesn't define it for me, but the best guess I can get from the article is the timing is constant penetration.  No foreplay, no breaks, no taking it really slow, no position switching.


So was I, well maby not the position switching part but you need to change positions every few min or get a cramp
 
2014-05-29 07:20:45 PM  
Scientists also report that this has never happened to them before.
 
2014-05-29 07:21:52 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-29 07:31:27 PM  
I hear a cure is "cumming" soon.
 
2014-05-29 07:35:28 PM  
To seek an erection lasting longer than four  hours, get medical help
 
2014-05-29 07:49:03 PM  

Coach McGirk: Scientists also report that this has never happened to them before.


The three minutes of sex or the twenty minutes of crying afterward?

img3.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-05-29 07:53:22 PM  

rosekolodny: Coach McGirk: Scientists also report that this has never happened to them before.

The three minutes of sex or the twenty minutes of crying afterward?


I wonder if the lab study involved swiss cheese.

/aaaan 1, 2, 3 go...put it in, take it out, put it in, take it out
 
2014-05-29 07:59:53 PM  
But seriously, folks...

I must have so far led a blessed sexual career.  There's things I can (and do) brag about, but it never occurred to me that when a mundane quickie with my fella is only 20 minutes long, that would be some unusual source of pride.  I have had a pleasant variety of sexual partners, and I have never known a man who came in less than 15 minutes, even when he didn't need to impress me anymore.

WHO are these women doing it with, and WHY?
 
2014-05-29 08:01:52 PM  
that's no help.  what about us who are the opposite and take 2 or 3 hours to finish?

(and don't suggest 4chan.... that hasn't helped)
 
2014-05-29 08:11:09 PM  
A headline about the ethics of trial duration. Subby really knows how to keep us washed up mad scientists happy.

/everyone who sticks sharp things into humans is a mad scientist
//but "trust me, you'll have a super wang by the end of this"
///really, men with one obscure condition will have 30% better dingdongs 100y from now when someone digs your results back out and figures out what they're good for
 
2014-05-29 08:17:13 PM  

edmo: Make a woman cum before she gets to the bed and you're Casanova. She does that that to you and you have some sort of dysfunction.


This isn't true at all. Variety is the spice of life.
 
2014-05-29 08:58:59 PM  

boozehat: that's no help.  what about us who are the opposite and take 2 or 3 hours to finish?

(and don't suggest 4chan.... that hasn't helped)


From what I've heard, stop fapping so much.
-J-
 
2014-05-29 09:04:25 PM  

cardex: It says the average is 4 min ?

Is this another gay/stright way out of imballance thing I cant think of a single time that it was less then 15 min when either topping or bottoming


Maybe the straight guys are just more turned on by the ladies then the gays are by the guys.  Perhaps you need hotter men.
 
2014-05-29 09:19:03 PM  

luxup: cardex: It says the average is 4 min ?

Is this another gay/stright way out of imballance thing I cant think of a single time that it was less then 15 min when either topping or bottoming

Maybe the straight guys are just more turned on by the ladies then the gays are by the guys.  Perhaps you need hotter men.


I was thinking it went along the Seinfeld of we have access to the equipment 24 7 and know how to use it properly.
 
2014-05-29 09:19:17 PM  

OneDeltaTenTango: I hear a cure is "cumming" soon.


s11.postimg.org
 
2014-05-29 10:05:30 PM  
Three minutes I was an eternity at 19, and sometimes in the first time with a new girl, but unfortunately the pendulum has swung too far in the opposite direction, I'll stop before I get there sometimes now.

/but there was always round two after the "test fire"
 
2014-05-29 10:11:48 PM  
I haven't had any in over three years.  I suspect I'll shoot my wad the minute my first hot date says "you want to come upstairs?"   "Thanks, but I've already cum downstairs, if you know what I mean.  And I think you do."

/Viagra + SSRIs == porn-star cocktail
 
2014-05-30 12:14:03 AM  

Just another Heartland Weirdass: Gentlemen lets reframe this. Sex is a race! A race to see who comes first. And I usually win.

This mssg was sent using only the tip.of my penis.


the funn y thin g is that you were joking but i actually did it. wasa it good for you/
 
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