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(Herald Scotland)   British police release crime stats broken down by age and reveal that five three-year-olds are among country's most dangerous criminals   (heraldscotland.com ) divider line
    More: Strange, British police, toddlers, criminal records, crimes  
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3674 clicks; posted to Main » on 29 May 2014 at 11:04 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-29 09:29:12 AM  
Never trust a toddler. Not even once.
 
2014-05-29 11:05:50 AM  
If you make it through the Terrible-Twos, you better watch out for the Thuggish-Threes!
 
2014-05-29 11:07:26 AM  

Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: If you make it through the Terrible-Twos, you better watch out for the Thuggish-Threes!


YES. THIS.

My two-year-old has become a whole magnitude of difficulty worse in the run-up to his third birthday.
 
2014-05-29 11:07:42 AM  
www.theprisma.co.uk
 
2014-05-29 11:10:00 AM  
www.mytoytesting.com

They see me rollin
They hatin
Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin dirty
 
2014-05-29 11:11:50 AM  
Listen, and understand. That toddler is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you buy it that toy.
 
2014-05-29 11:17:16 AM  

Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: If you make it through the Terrible-Twos, you better watch out for the Thuggish-Threes!


Followed by:

Felonious Fours
Fiendish Fives
Sinster Sixes
Shady Sevens
Evil Eights
Nefarious Nines
Treacherous Tens
 
2014-05-29 11:20:48 AM  
You know what certain prisoners love best about raping twenty four year old prisoners?  There's twenty of them!
 
2014-05-29 11:22:52 AM  
So dropping a corndog with mustard is vandalism?

/kids out of the house
//going to Hawaii next month
 
2014-05-29 11:23:36 AM  
Looks like if a three year old grabs a candy bar and walks out of the store, and the store owner calls the cops or otherwise reports it, it goes on this list.  Fairly pointless list, therefore.
 
2014-05-29 11:23:56 AM  
Hey Police Dorks! A three-year-old is not capable of committing a crime. They have no concept of crime. Go catch a real criminal, you farks!
 
2014-05-29 11:24:36 AM  
" the age of criminal responsibility remains eight, the age at which children can be tried in a court of law is 12."

And how many 12 year-olds end up in stir?
 
2014-05-29 11:24:49 AM  

Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: If you make it through the Terrible-Twos, you better watch out for the Thuggish-Threes!


CSB time (I tell this story to all parents I meet who are about to experience what a three-year-old human being will do to their lives):

Everyone talks about "the terrible twos," and they're right - the twos ARE terrible.

But no one talks about the "threes" - and here's why:
- they're bigger
- they're stronger
- they're faster
- they're louder
- they know more
- they can do more
- they have NO fear.

The threes are so bad, in fact, that NO PARENT HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO REMEMBER THEM WITH ANY CLARITY - it's all just a fogged-out sense that "I don't know what happened, but the monsters just turned four. Where have we been for the past year?"

Researchers are still arguing over the cause, with most divided between "it was so farking bad, the parents blocked it out of their blinking minds" and "it was so farking bad, the parents had to drink their way through just to survive and that's why they can't remember."
 
2014-05-29 11:27:07 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Hey Police Dorks! A three-year-old is not capable of committing a crime. They have no concept of crime. Go catch a real criminal, you farks!


They're just writing down the age of the child that broke the window/whatever- the child is below the age of criminal responsibility- they aren't cuffing three year olds.

Here:
http://www.penalreform.org/resource/justice-children-briefing-no4-mi ni mum-age-criminal-responsibility/
 
2014-05-29 11:33:17 AM  
Stu Griffin?
 
2014-05-29 11:34:00 AM  
Police? Shouldn't this fall well within DOSAC's purview?

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-29 11:34:10 AM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Hey Police Dorks! A three-year-old is not capable of committing a crime. They have no concept of crime. Go catch a real criminal, you farks!


British law and the EU Human Rights commission require an officer to be present when a spanking is delivered, to ensure that the child is not harmed. You didn't know this?
 
2014-05-29 11:38:42 AM  

mama2tnt: Doktor Merkwrdiglieben: If you make it through the Terrible-Twos, you better watch out for the Thuggish-Threes!

CSB time (I tell this story to all parents I meet who are about to experience what a three-year-old human being will do to their lives):

Everyone talks about "the terrible twos," and they're right - the twos ARE terrible.

But no one talks about the "threes" - and here's why:
- they're bigger
- they're stronger
- they're faster
- they're louder
- they know more
- they can do more
- they have NO fear.

The threes are so bad, in fact, that NO PARENT HAS EVER BEEN ABLE TO REMEMBER THEM WITH ANY CLARITY - it's all just a fogged-out sense that "I don't know what happened, but the monsters just turned four. Where have we been for the past year?"

Researchers are still arguing over the cause, with most divided between "it was so farking bad, the parents blocked it out of their blinking minds" and "it was so farking bad, the parents had to drink their way through just to survive and that's why they can't remember."


From my personal experience this was when consistency seemed to really pay off even when it seemed like it was just making things worse at the time.

Also learning to phrase things without saying "don't" was a personal break through. When you say "don't climb on that" a 2 or 3 year old doesn't comprehend "don't" so they just hear "climb on that". Better to say "keep your feet on the floor". Once I learned how to direct them with affirmative phrasing, things got a lot easier.
 
2014-05-29 11:41:32 AM  
i.kinja-img.com
 
2014-05-29 11:49:23 AM  
Around here police release crime stats broken down by sex.
 
2014-05-29 11:50:29 AM  

hardinparamedic: Listen, and understand. That toddler is out there. It can't be bargained with. It can't be reasoned with. It doesn't feel pity, or remorse, or fear. And it absolutely will not stop, ever, until you buy it that toy.


or hand over your keys or phone or whatever you have in your hand at any given moment.
 
2014-05-29 11:51:45 AM  
Assault with a loaded diaper nappy?
 
2014-05-29 11:55:17 AM  
Wow, I knew that Britain had some crazy processes for massaging their crime stats, but this takes the cake.
 
2014-05-29 11:55:33 AM  
3yr olds are pure evil.
 
2014-05-29 11:56:14 AM  
I wonder how many of these instances went like;

"Excuse me, sir. Did you just steal that candy bar?"

"Nope, my kid did it."
 
2014-05-29 12:23:40 PM  

Geotpf: Looks like if a three year old grabs a candy bar and walks out of the store, and the store owner calls the cops or otherwise reports it, it goes on this list.  Fairly pointless list, therefore.


Yeah, it is just a record of reported crimes and the accused perpetrators, broken down by age in this instance, there is no guarantee there was actually a crime, etc. From the sounds of it this is just part of a statistics gathering/reporting exercise for the purpose of reviewing the appropriate minimum age of criminal responsibility (which obviously can't be based on statistics of actually convicted crimes committed broken down by age as any crimes committed by someone below the age of responsibility will automatically not show up).
 
2014-05-29 12:40:19 PM  

mainsail: " the age of criminal responsibility remains eight, the age at which children can be tried in a court of law is 12."

And how many 12 year-olds end up in stir?


Not nearly enough
 
2014-05-29 12:44:13 PM  
Baby prison

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-29 12:48:02 PM  
I love you, Scotland.


www.digdang.com
 
2014-05-29 01:42:12 PM  

BluVeinThrobber: mainsail: " the age of criminal responsibility remains eight, the age at which children can be tried in a court of law is 12."

And how many 12 year-olds end up in stir?

Not nearly enough


Nah, boarding school...in a faraway land...with bad communication infrastructure. Not prison.
 
2014-05-29 02:15:26 PM  

mainsail: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Hey Police Dorks! A three-year-old is not capable of committing a crime. They have no concept of crime. Go catch a real criminal, you farks!

They're just writing down the age of the child that broke the window/whatever- the child is below the age of criminal responsibility- they aren't cuffing three year olds.

Here:
http://www.penalreform.org/resource/justice-children-briefing-no4-mi ni mum-age-criminal-responsibility/


If you're a cop, and someone calls you to report a crime committed by a three-year-old, here's what you do:

1. Take down the complainant's name and address
2. Visit that person
3. Arrest that person for wasting your time, by filing a false police report, because a three-year-old cannot commit a crime
 
2014-05-29 05:33:01 PM  

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: mainsail: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Hey Police Dorks! A three-year-old is not capable of committing a crime. They have no concept of crime. Go catch a real criminal, you farks!

They're just writing down the age of the child that broke the window/whatever- the child is below the age of criminal responsibility- they aren't cuffing three year olds.

Here:
http://www.penalreform.org/resource/justice-children-briefing-no4-mi ni mum-age-criminal-responsibility/

If you're a cop, and someone calls you to report a crime committed by a three-year-old, here's what you do:

1. Take down the complainant's name and address
2. Visit that person
3. Arrest that person for wasting your time, by filing a false police report, because a three-year-old cannot commit a crime


Mostly the report is made over the phone, and for insurance purposes.
 
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