Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Yahoo)   Awkward dork with a foot fetish escapes the Friend Zone   (celebrity.yahoo.com) divider line 42
    More: Strange, Quentin Tarantino, friend zones, couture, Cannes Film Festival, Pulp Fiction  
•       •       •

5036 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 29 May 2014 at 11:40 AM (39 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-05-29 12:16:36 PM  
4 votes:

moel: Nah trust me...there is...


Uhm, no.
You interested in a woman? Stop doing nice shiat and expecting her to read your mind that you have developed feelings for her. Man up and tell her and ask her out. If she says no, hey you tried! EXPECTING a woman to f*ck you because you're nice or chivalrous or whatever else, is bonkers. Calling it a friendzone because she won't f*ck you is delusional.


Talented Ass Clown: Says the woman in a rabbt suit.


Whatevs, my Ralphie cosplay is amazing. You're just jealous!


MadCat221: Yes there is. It's what a guy lands himself in when he puts out friend vibes to a woman he's attracted to instead of boyfriend vibes. It's entirely self-inflicted and due to a warped sense of how such relationships work.


Well, in that case, we should really call it the "I'm a chickensh*t who is too afraid to ask out girls zone".
2014-05-29 05:03:47 PM  
3 votes:
I am a single girl...and I like to go out and hang with my male friends. If you text me, asking if I want to grab a beer, my thought is that we are just two friends hanging out over drinks and food. If you expect our time together to be an actual date, it deserves a phone call, with your intentions made very clear.

I recently told a guy that I wasn't interested in anything romantic. It's been cool since then, and we have a lot of fun hanging out. Yet, one of my friends still accuses me of leading him on and keeping him in the friendzone. My thought is this: he is a grown man that should be able to handle being friends with me. Any further expectations that he may or may not have are his own problem to deal with.

My friendship should not be viewed as a consolation prize
2014-05-29 12:51:18 PM  
3 votes:

LlamaGirl: CtrlAltDestroy: But, hey, remaining rational about this subject isn't nearly as much fun or as satisfying as calling people assholes over the internet, right? It's so much better to try to disingenuously say that the lowest common denominator is representative of the whole.

Rationality goes out the window any time this subject comes up, as far as I have noticed.


I agree.

The friendzone as a term only exists to massage egos and allow men to blame women for their lack of communication.

It's often used as a verb: "she friendzoned me."

If you're romantically interested in someone but too passive and entitled to not communicate it and instead masquerade as a friend it's not the woman's fault for being your friend and thinking it is platonic.

She is not "friendzoning" you, she is being a normal human being with the information she has been given.


We are better off without that term.  Throw it in the dustbin with "fake geek girl."  They only exist so lame men can't accept responsibility.
2014-05-29 07:16:00 PM  
2 votes:

cryinoutloud: CtrlAltDestroy: But we're men. According to so many people all we want is sex and the only thing we view women as are things to get sex from. It's unthinkable that we'd put emotions before sex. You know. Because we're men and sex is the only thing that we want. Because we have penises. And we're stupid simpletons. Because we're men. And the only thing we want from women is sex.

Um, I've been assured by several men right here that that's precisely how men think. Silly me--prior to being on Fark, I thought that men sometimes liked to be friends with women. I'd be friends with them. Nope, apparently not, according to many jeers I got from certain things I posted. If I ain't farking, they ain't interested in my company.

Now, I have you farkied as "a very nice person" for various reasons, so maybe you're the exception to the rule. But I didn't get this idea from my ass. It was actually a shock to me, that I was that naive at my age. I got that idea from men, right here.


Part of the problem is gender expectations and behaviours. I have literally been told that if I am too nice, women won't be interested in me, by both men and women. Men are expected to be assertive, that is, to act confident, dominant and initiate social interaction with women. It's right here in the thread. "If you find a woman attractive, just ask her out, and if she doesn't say yes, move on".

Well, think about that for a second. Think about the assumptions and expectations about masculine behaviour involved there. It's assumed to be quite normal for a man's first serious interaction with a woman he finds attractive to be a romantic/sexual overture. It's assumed that he doesn't care if she finds this acceptable behaviour or not. It's assumed that if she says no, he should then simply ignore her rejection and move on, behaviour which normally signifies only superficial interest no matter what the context.

Where in this behaviour does the man get to know the women he approaches as people, as opposed to an attractive face and body? Where's the basis for a friendship to go along with the lust?

Frankly, I would never want to be treated that way by anyone. If a woman I barely knew made a pass at me, I'd very likely say no by reflex, and I would find it offputting, even if I found her physically attractive, because there's much more to a relationship than lust. Even if I did say not reject her advance out of hand, I'd be guarded with her until I actually got to know her.

I believe, fundamentally, in treating people the way I would wish to be treated by others. That means I approach women I am attracted to with respect and honesty. I make it clear that I am interested in her the first chance I get, but I don't invade her space, get touchy, or make an overt sexual pass until I've gotten to know her.

The catch-22 in all this is that men who are very assertive with women (not outright jerks, but who make a sexual overture early in the interaction, and who lose interest and move on immediately when rejected) tend to be successful on average, simply by trying more often. And those same behaviours are seen as signs of high social standing, i.e. "alpha males" so quite often they are actually perceived as more attractive on average simply for that behaviour. A man who is not socially assertive in the manner described will on average be perceived as somewhat less attractive. There's extensive research in social psychology about this phenomenon.

(Agentic behaviour is the umbrella term for this sort of behaviour in the social sciences, contrasted with communal behaviour which is oriented towards being friendly and conciliatory; note these are not opposites, one can be high in both or low in both).

Note the emphasis on average. Individual cases can and will buck the trends; as with all things social and psychological these are tendencies not absolutes. Obviously, if you're physically gorgeous, rich and have an established reputation as an unparalleled lover, you're probably not going to have any problems. Mere mortals may not have all those advantages, alas.

I make no claims about whether this is nature, nurture, or both. All I am saying is that it happens, and it's not a simple problem. An ethical man faced with these problems will simply keep trying despite frequent failure for lack of any other options - but that doesn't make his dilemma either trivial or any fun to deal with. Loneliness is corrosive.

On the other hand, the archetypal "nice guy" douchebag who tries to pressure women into sex by being their "friend" is itself a form of serious social maladjustment, it's quite rare but human being remember the assholes more easily than we remember the unassuming actual nice guys who don't pull crap like that. Ascribing those motivations to all men who don't choose to be highly socially assertive with women is just as insulting and incorrect as saying that all assertive men are automatically insensitive jerks.
2014-05-29 07:05:57 PM  
2 votes:

Esc7: LlamaGirl: CtrlAltDestroy: But, hey, remaining rational about this subject isn't nearly as much fun or as satisfying as calling people assholes over the internet, right? It's so much better to try to disingenuously say that the lowest common denominator is representative of the whole.

Rationality goes out the window any time this subject comes up, as far as I have noticed.

I agree.

The friendzone as a term only exists to massage egos and allow men to blame women for their lack of communication.

It's often used as a verb: "she friendzoned me."

If you're romantically interested in someone but too passive and entitled to not communicate it and instead masquerade as a friend it's not the woman's fault for being your friend and thinking it is platonic.

She is not "friendzoning" you, she is being a normal human being with the information she has been given.


We are better off without that term.  Throw it in the dustbin with "fake geek girl."  They only exist so lame men can't accept responsibility.


Umm...what happens when two people are friends, one then developed feelings for the other, the other rejects them, and they just go back to being friends? It is possible for that to happen in this world.

I've tend to notice that people ALWAYS assume that the person with feelings is just pretending to be friends to get into the other's pants. Sometimes friends developed feelings for their friends.
2014-05-29 05:30:08 PM  
2 votes:

See My Az Go: I am a single girl...and I like to go out and hang with my male friends. If you text me, asking if I want to grab a beer, my thought is that we are just two friends hanging out over drinks and food. If you expect our time together to be an actual date, it deserves a phone call, with your intentions made very clear.

I recently told a guy that I wasn't interested in anything romantic. It's been cool since then, and we have a lot of fun hanging out. Yet, one of my friends still accuses me of leading him on and keeping him in the friendzone. My thought is this: he is a grown man that should be able to handle being friends with me. Any further expectations that he may or may not have are his own problem to deal with.

My friendship should not be viewed as a consolation prize


LONGish CSB: I met my wife when she was dating a work friend of mine. We hit it off real well at a birthday party and hung out most of that day by ourselves (we were under 21 and her BF was over... he decided to go drinking that night). We didn;t kiss, make out, nothing like that. We hung out. It was fun, she was pretty and she was interesting. She gave me her number.

After she drove away I threw the # to the ground. I wanted to be friends with her. I also thought I wanted more (sex, of course, being a part of it). I wanted her attention focused on me like it was on her boyfriend. It wasn;t about getting laid, it was about the whole package (time, closeness, all the good stuff that comes with relationships). Yes, after one night. She was awesome for me.

Fast forward 2 months and she gets my # from the same coworker from the bd party. Seems she is a bit on the outs with her boyfriend. I decide to hang with her one more time and tell her "if he won;t take you out for valentines day, I will". very clearly making the point it wasn;t just as a "buddy" or "friend". he didn't, I did. Been together 15+ years at this point.

The point is that there is middle ground for all this shiat. Guys don't have to be friend zoned. They can leave.  They can also want to be more then friends because they want more then just sex.

I would not have gone out with my wife as a "friend", because it WOULD have been a consolation prize. She was awesome and I wanted all the awesome, not just parts of it.  I also would and had walked away when I thought it wasn;t going to happen.

/And 2nd place? 2nd... sucks.
2014-05-29 02:12:07 PM  
2 votes:

Barricaded Gunman: Esc7: Throw it in the dustbin with "fake geek girl."

I was with you all the way to this part. Fake Geek Girls have existed for at least as long as horn-rimmed glasses have been available with plain lenses, and probably before that. I knew a FGG in high school who even put unnecessary tape on her unnecessary glasses, to further geek them up.


Glasses are a fashion accessory.  Many people wear non-prescription lenses.


The term "Fake Geek Girl" only makes sense if you know nothing about how it is used.  "Fake Geek" can makes some semblance of sense, and then that creates "Fake Geek Girls" and "Fake Geek Boys."

But what is funny, in practice, you almost never hear of anyone say "Fake Geek Boy."  It seems to be a insult merely for girls.  And it is used not to expose pretentious assholes (hipsters) but instead to exclude women from hobbies that are predominately male.

Again, the problem isn't the semantic meaning of "Fake Geek Girl."  It is the misogynist usage that insular groups of men use to exclude and denigrate women, often to a ridiculous hairsplitting degree.  ("You love the avengers but don't know all the gems in the infinity gauntlet?  FAKE GEEK GIRL!")  We don't need that term.


And who makes anyone the arbiter of geekiness?  Why do you care so much if someone decides to dress a certain way?  We don't need people 'policing' subcultures and rebuffing them and excluding them.
2014-05-29 01:43:28 PM  
2 votes:
When did the word "friend" become a pejorative?  A lot of people like having friends.  Or is it the fact that you are friends with a mere woman that you find humiliating?  Do you dump this much crap on your male acquaintances who won't sleep with you?
2014-05-29 01:34:56 PM  
2 votes:

Mad_Radhu: Friendzoning by women still isn't as bad as the "friends-with-benefits-zoning" us guys can do with a woman who is fun in the sack but we really don't have enough in common with to want to actually seriously date with intentions of a long term commitment.


It's all about who is misrepresenting themselves and miscommunicating.

If two people agree that a relationship is only for sex, not for romance, good on them.

If one of them is lying and secretly hoping it will evolve into a romantic relationship, it is not the other person's fault, the secret hoper shouldn't have gotten involved.

Likewise if one of them was vague or unclear about how the relationship was going to pan out while the other communicated a progressive more romantic relationship; If the vague one declares "its only physical" later, they're an asshole.


Communication.  Consent.  They're sexy.  Use them.
2014-05-29 11:59:23 AM  
2 votes:

LlamaGirl: There is no such thing as the friend zone.



Nah trust me...there is...
2014-05-29 11:46:05 AM  
2 votes:
Well done subby - your headline implied exactly who/what I thought it would be, but I still had to RTFA to confirm.
2014-05-29 08:31:58 PM  
1 votes:
The friend vibe can come from the guy. I worked with a woman and we hung out about once a week. We had great fun. A friend said "why don't you want to go out with her?". I said "we don't like the same TV shows/movies/music so we'd run out of things to do quickly. Once a week is often enough to have fun" She was also about 10 years younger than me, thus the lack of common ground in many things.
/everyone in the office thought we were an item
//to the point that a guy there asked me about her and I told him to go for it
///they are married for about 15 years now and have 2 kids
////I went to their wedding, they came to mine
2014-05-29 06:58:51 PM  
1 votes:

cryinoutloud: Um, I've been assured by several men right here that that's precisely how men think. Silly me--prior to being on Fark, I thought that men sometimes liked to be friends with women. I'd be friends with them. Nope, apparently not, according to many jeers I got from certain things I posted. If I ain't farking, they ain't interested in my company.

Now, I have you farkied as "a very nice person" for various reasons, so maybe you're the exception to the rule. But I didn't get this idea from my ass. It was actually a shock to me, that I was that naive at my age. I got that idea from men, right here.


There is some truth to that. Please allow me a moment to elaborate on this.

There are men like that. Without a doubt. However, there are a couple of characteristics with them (typically) where they wouldn't apply much to the discussion at hand.

Men who are in it just for the sex have a tendency to be rather unabashed about it and rather see through. They're not usually difficult to spot. They also are in it for the easy and quick score. The "nice guy" routine, as described by some people, involves playing the long game. It involves, nay, requires focusing much of one's attention on a single person and playing up an act for several months to several years. Guys who are looking to get pussy for the sake of pussy aren't going to do that.

Why spend so much of your time doting on a single girl when they can be making crude, forward remarks to coworkers and trolling for drunk women in bars? When it's a numbers game, playing the long haul for a single target isn't appealing. They'd rather go for checkers when the "nice guy" is playing Risk.

Unfortunately the guys who are pussy hounds tend to be very vocal about it. In their circles, getting as much as possible is seen as a state of dominance and they're jockeying for the front of the pack by announcing how many women have been part of their conquest. This type of person tends to stick out to people for this reason of loudness and because they're the more... interesting or flamboyant examples of the gender.

Part of it, indeed, is confirmation bias. These types don't blend into the background the way that most people do. They make their presence known and they're the first to boast. When there's an air horn in your face it's easy to forget the chirping birds in the tree behind you. Except that they're annoying horns. They're vuvuzelas. Loud, annoying, and flashy.

So, yeah, they're there and they're more than happy to remind you that they're there. I feel the need to toss in a "their" after that so that it doesn't get lonely. Ahem. Try to think of them as like the people who speed dangerously on motorcycles. They catch your attention very easily and they sure to stand out while being proud of their flashy behavior. But there's also the regular bikers who are more than content to behave properly and play nice with the rest of traffic.

The fact that I'm here saying all of this would be some indicator that there is another side of this coin called man. Well, we're more like a 20 sided die, but let's keep this fairly simple for now and only focus on a couple of the sides. I've assaulted your eyes with enough letters just discussing one narrow aspect of human relations.

The normal, mostly respectable guys are out there in the mix but we don't draw nearly as much attention to ourselves. It's like a 24 hour news outlet. There aren't many stories saying, "Everything was OK today and there was even a dog and cat who lived in harmony for about an hour". Instead people would rather talk about how the sky is falling because people would rather listen to said diminutive fowl play. Because normal is boring.

The guys worth having tend to be in the center of the bell curve and as such, unremarkable at a glance. But, like the middle of the bell curve itself, are the majority.

Why, yes, I am usually this verbose. I'm as long winded as tornado alley. If tornadoes were made out of guys who wax intellectual at a forum that's known for snark and toilet humor.

/Wait. maybe there's something to this Fark = tornado alley thing...
//I'm not sure what I did to receive such a title on your Fark list, but I'm flattered.
2014-05-29 06:09:40 PM  
1 votes:

CtrlAltDestroy: But we're men. According to so many people all we want is sex and the only thing we view women as are things to get sex from. It's unthinkable that we'd put emotions before sex. You know. Because we're men and sex is the only thing that we want. Because we have penises. And we're stupid simpletons. Because we're men. And the only thing we want from women is sex.


Um, I've been assured by several men right here that that's precisely how men think. Silly me--prior to being on Fark, I thought that men sometimes liked to be friends with women. I'd be friends with them. Nope, apparently not, according to many jeers I got from certain things I posted. If I ain't farking, they ain't interested in my company.

Now, I have you farkied as "a very nice person" for various reasons, so maybe you're the exception to the rule. But I didn't get this idea from my ass. It was actually a shock to me, that I was that naive at my age. I got that idea from men, right here.
2014-05-29 05:25:07 PM  
1 votes:

CtrlAltDestroy: See My Az Go: My friendship should not be viewed as a consolation prize

Right. And it's a good thing that the " quote nice guy unquote who thinks that he's owed sex for acting nice" is a hell of a lot rarer than feminists would like us to believe.

Seriously, that boogie man is more of a strawman and urban legend than it is every day occurrence. Stop defaulting to accusing people of that. It's just looks hyper defensive and sad.


I linked the comic because I thought it was funny...and I like some of the points. And I have enough faith in most men that I truly believe that they are genuinely nice guys who enjoy being friends. But I have met the occasional a-hole who acts all butthurt and cheated because I didn't put out. Those are actually the ones more likely to take advantage of you when you're drunk.
2014-05-29 05:18:48 PM  
1 votes:

See My Az Go: I am a single girl...and I like to go out and hang with my male friends. If you text me, asking if I want to grab a beer, my thought is that we are just two friends hanging out over drinks and food. If you expect our time together to be an actual date, it deserves a phone call, with your intentions made very clear.

I recently told a guy that I wasn't interested in anything romantic. It's been cool since then, and we have a lot of fun hanging out. Yet, one of my friends still accuses me of leading him on and keeping him in the friendzone. My thought is this: he is a grown man that should be able to handle being friends with me. Any further expectations that he may or may not have are his own problem to deal with.

My friendship should not be viewed as a consolation prize


That comic made me raise an eyebrow. It seems like a gross simplification of all sides -- I guess because I see dating as a way to try to build a relationship, rather than screwing.

/Has been turned down once & still friends.
//Doesn't believe in the friendzone.
2014-05-29 05:11:54 PM  
1 votes:

See My Az Go: My friendship should not be viewed as a consolation prize


Right. And it's a good thing that the " quote nice guy unquote who thinks that he's owed sex for acting nice" is a hell of a lot rarer than feminists would like us to believe.

Seriously, that boogie man is more of a strawman and urban legend than it is every day occurrence. Stop defaulting to accusing people of that. It's just looks hyper defensive and sad.
2014-05-29 05:07:17 PM  
1 votes:

See My Az Go: Any further expectations that he may or may not have are his own problem to deal with.


Precisely. All I can ask for is a clear understanding of where YOU stand with me. How I feel and how I deal with it is my issue to work out.
2014-05-29 04:31:55 PM  
1 votes:

Strategeryz0r: There's no romantic chemistry, sexual tension, whatever you want to call it. It really is just like hanging out with a buddy. And overcoming that can be incredibly difficult.


I don't quite understand, if there's no chemistry between you why would you want to force something?


szyska: I'd spend 1/2 the night surrounded by women who had absolutely no interest in me or worse yet, treat me as a brother.


You have to admit, that doesn't sound like the worst thing in the world.


KatjaMouse: I read all that and nothing stood out to me that they're actually dating. Unless the paparazzi catches them kanoodling on a yacht or their people released a joint press release I'm going to assume that his "comforting her" is purely platonic. She stayed over the weekend at his villa. So what. I've crashed at a male friend's place for a week and no one ever assumed we were boning. They're holding hands and physically close. Sure. Maybe because they've been close close friends and collaborators for 20 years? I'd be shocked if her kids don't call him Uncle Q.


What the hell are you talking about?  Oh right, the article.
2014-05-29 03:53:48 PM  
1 votes:

CtrlAltDestroy: I think his point is that one can be kept at arms length, held away in the area (or zone) where friends are kept at even after making one's intentions perfectly clear.


Sure, and that's happened to me too. I don't call it being "friend-zoned", however, as that term has long become the limp-dick, bitter nice guy ballad about "dumb whores" not appreciating how nice and sweet they are (no, not every guy under 40 who uses it means that, but there's a good handful of them unfortunately).

The onus should be on the individual left hanging in this supposed "friend-zone" to decide whether or not to bail completely if the setting is too painful or uncomfortable. The way a bunch of people explain it, they expect the object of affection to make that decision for them.
2014-05-29 03:49:22 PM  
1 votes:
I was friend-zoned, she was my buddy's sister. I'd go out drinking with my friend and she'd show up with her friends. I'd spend 1/2 the night surrounded by women who had absolutely no interest in me or worse yet, treat me as a brother.
2014-05-29 02:06:44 PM  
1 votes:

Esc7: Strategeryz0r: False.

About 5 years ago I was randomly contacted by someone I hadn't seen in eons. A girl, a very attractive girl, who remembered me from middle school of all places. We chatted online, and I asked her out. Made it more than known that not only was I attracted to her, but our personalities had become extremely compatible despite the enormous length of time since we had interacted.

It was very much communicated up front what my intentions were, I even referred to us meeting up as a date, etc, etc. 

End of the night rolls around? "I honestly can only think of you as a friend. I don't know why, it's not that I'm not attracted to you, I am. Maybe it's just how we reconnected, or something. I'm not sure. But I don't think I'll ever think of you as anything more than a friend." 

I'm not saying this applies to all situations. But the friendzone very much exists. It is a thing, and there are instances where escape is nearly impossible. Some people, and I've seen women be friendzoned by men this is not a one wayed deal, just setup these mental barriers in relation to other people. And to try and act like this doesn't exist is absolutely silly. Sometimes it has to do with a lack of communication, but there are a great number of instances where that isn't the problem.

Oh my god you were friendzoned for a few hours!


Oh my god you totally got the point!

Solid post.
2014-05-29 01:47:18 PM  
1 votes:

Esc7: LlamaGirl: CtrlAltDestroy: But, hey, remaining rational about this subject isn't nearly as much fun or as satisfying as calling people assholes over the internet, right? It's so much better to try to disingenuously say that the lowest common denominator is representative of the whole.

Rationality goes out the window any time this subject comes up, as far as I have noticed.

I agree.

The friendzone as a term only exists to massage egos and allow men to blame women for their lack of communication.

It's often used as a verb: "she friendzoned me."

If you're romantically interested in someone but too passive and entitled to not communicate it and instead masquerade as a friend it's not the woman's fault for being your friend and thinking it is platonic.

She is not "friendzoning" you, she is being a normal human being with the information she has been given.


We are better off without that term.  Throw it in the dustbin with "fake geek girl."  They only exist so lame men can't accept responsibility.


False.

About 5 years ago I was randomly contacted by someone I hadn't seen in eons. A girl, a very attractive girl, who remembered me from middle school of all places. We chatted online, and I asked her out. Made it more than known that not only was I attracted to her, but our personalities had become extremely compatible despite the enormous length of time since we had interacted.

It was very much communicated up front what my intentions were, I even referred to us meeting up as a date, etc, etc. 

End of the night rolls around? "I honestly can only think of you as a friend. I don't know why, it's not that I'm not attracted to you, I am. Maybe it's just how we reconnected, or something. I'm not sure. But I don't think I'll ever think of you as anything more than a friend." 

I'm not saying this applies to all situations. But the friendzone very much exists. It is a thing, and there are instances where escape is nearly impossible. Some people, and I've seen women be friendzoned by men this is not a one wayed deal, just setup these mental barriers in relation to other people. And to try and act like this doesn't exist is absolutely silly. Sometimes it has to do with a lack of communication, but there are a great number of instances where that isn't the problem.
2014-05-29 01:27:57 PM  
1 votes:

CtrlAltDestroy: LlamaGirl: CtrlAltDestroy: But, hey, remaining rational about this subject isn't nearly as much fun or as satisfying as calling people assholes over the internet, right? It's so much better to try to disingenuously say that the lowest common denominator is representative of the whole.

Rationality goes out the window any time this subject comes up, as far as I have noticed.

Unfortunately, yeah.

Twice I've grown feeling for someone after being friends for a while. Twice I've communicated that. Twice it wasn't reciprocal. Twice I've said my piece and walked away. I lost 2 friends and got hurt twice (neither rejection was kind). Shiat happens. You becomes jaded. You try again in the future. Hopefully one day something changes.

There's no way that I'd slowly torture myself by staying around a particular her in the hopes that she changes her mind. I don't need that in my life.

/Jaded.
//But realistic.


The reason people find themselves in a situation they blame on "the friendzone" is because they are precisely afraid of what you experienced: rejection and hurt.   But as you said, shiat happens.  You're doing things the right way.


Too many people let fear get the better of them and do nothing.  That's fine I guess.  What isn't fine is blaming your torment on some imaginary "zone" that a woman "put" you in.

/If you aren't willing to risk your feelings, do you even like someone that much?
//How can you expect them to risk theirs?
2014-05-29 01:08:29 PM  
1 votes:

MugzyBrown: Esc7: If you're romantically interested in someone but too passive and entitled to not communicate it and instead masquerade as a friend it's not the woman's fault for being your friend and thinking it is platonic.

Back in reality, typically it  is communicated and rebuffed.

It's then the decision if you want to remain friends or not.

Sometimes you'd rather keep a long-term friendship with somebody you have feelings for than burn it to the ground because the two of you have different levels of affection for one another.

Sometimes you don't.


That's not being friend zoned. That's a friend being honest with his/her feelings. Friendzoning is bad because it lays blame on someone for a situation where they shouldnt receive blame.
2014-05-29 12:47:17 PM  
1 votes:

MugzyBrown: LlamaGirl: Rationality goes out the window any time this subject comes up, as far as I have noticed.

Well at least you're noticing your own comments.  That's a start.


Agreed. It appears that she actually believes she speaks for the entire human female gender.

Fascinating.
2014-05-29 12:47:10 PM  
1 votes:

MugzyBrown: LlamaGirl: Uhm, no.
You interested in a woman? Stop doing nice shiat and expecting her to read your mind that you have developed feelings for her. Man up and tell her and ask her out. If she says no, hey you tried! EXPECTING a woman to f*ck you because you're nice or chivalrous or whatever else, is bonkers. Calling it a friendzone because she won't f*ck you is delusional.

Sometimes it's a guy and a girl who are friends, one party wants to be 'more than friends' and the other doesn't.

That doesn't mean you should stop being friends.  That would only come into play if the 'friend-zoned' party can't handle being just friends after that point.


I think the point is if you are in the situation where you are the person attracted to the other person you 1. cannot be mad at them for not dating you if you haven't expressed the interest in dating, and 2. you have to be willing to accept the rejection from that type of relationship if they won't date you.  If you can't handle 2, don't be friends with them.
2014-05-29 12:45:37 PM  
1 votes:

LlamaGirl: Rationality goes out the window any time this subject comes up, as far as I have noticed.


Well at least you're noticing your own comments.  That's a start.
2014-05-29 12:38:17 PM  
1 votes:

CtrlAltDestroy: But, hey, remaining rational about this subject isn't nearly as much fun or as satisfying as calling people assholes over the internet, right? It's so much better to try to disingenuously say that the lowest common denominator is representative of the whole.


Rationality goes out the window any time this subject comes up, as far as I have noticed.
2014-05-29 12:31:48 PM  
1 votes:

LlamaGirl: There is no such thing as the friend zone.


There is. Unfortunately it's been strawmanned and ridiculed into most people assuming that it's -

LlamaGirl: EXPECTING a woman to f*ck you because you're nice or chivalrous or whatever else, is bonkers. Calling it a friendzone because she won't f*ck you is delusional.


that right thar.

It happens when one has unrequited feelings for the other but doesn't break it off and continues to expose themself to the object of their affection even though it's not reciprocal. One wants more, the other doesn't, neither breaks it off.

It's not all about sex, you know. There are people who are in it for love first and the physical second. The amount of people who feign niceness in order to be "owed" anything in return is far, far smaller than people would have you believe.

But, hey, remaining rational about this subject isn't nearly as much fun or as satisfying as calling people assholes over the internet, right? It's so much better to try to disingenuously say that the lowest common denominator is representative of the whole.

Here, a longer rant from a few days ago that I don't feel like copying and pasting.

/Yeah, I know. Welcome to the internet.
//Ultimately no one's opinions either way will change due to this discussion.
///Refer again to first slashy.
2014-05-29 12:26:16 PM  
1 votes:

LlamaGirl: Uhm, no.
You interested in a woman? Stop doing nice shiat and expecting her to read your mind that you have developed feelings for her. Man up and tell her and ask her out. If she says no, hey you tried! EXPECTING a woman to f*ck you because you're nice or chivalrous or whatever else, is bonkers. Calling it a friendzone because she won't f*ck you is delusional.


Will you go out with me?

No?!  WELL SCREW YOU THEN!  YOU OWE ME FOR THE TIME I SPENT PRETENDING TO BE YOUR FRIEND!
2014-05-29 12:25:49 PM  
1 votes:

LlamaGirl: moel: Nah trust me...there is...

Uhm, no.
You interested in a woman? Stop doing nice shiat and expecting her to read your mind that you have developed feelings for her. Man up and tell her and ask her out. If she says no, hey you tried! EXPECTING a woman to f*ck you because you're nice or chivalrous or whatever else, is bonkers. Calling it a friendzone because she won't f*ck you is delusional.


Talented Ass Clown: Says the woman in a rabbt suit.

Whatevs, my Ralphie cosplay is amazing. You're just jealous!


MadCat221: Yes there is. It's what a guy lands himself in when he puts out friend vibes to a woman he's attracted to instead of boyfriend vibes. It's entirely self-inflicted and due to a warped sense of how such relationships work.

Well, in that case, we should really call it the "I'm a chickensh*t who is too afraid to ask out girls zone".


I don't think jealous is the word....

/pass the eye bleach?

Uma has always been pretty hot. Not surprising that she's been hooking up with QT.
2014-05-29 12:23:51 PM  
1 votes:
Tarantino comes off in interviews as somebody I wouldn't want to spend longer than five minutes with.  I do like his movies though.
2014-05-29 12:19:53 PM  
1 votes:

MadCat221: LlamaGirl: There is no such thing as the friend zone.


That said, her feet are horrifying.

Yes there is.  It's what a guy lands himself in when he puts out friend vibes to a woman he's attracted to instead of boyfriend vibes.  It's entirely self-inflicted and due to a warped sense of how such relationships work.


1) doesn't have the stones to make the move he wants to make or 2) doesn't just cut the relationship off when she rejects his advance.
2014-05-29 12:19:11 PM  
1 votes:
this thread smells like fedorae
2014-05-29 12:09:59 PM  
1 votes:
One time, I told this chick who had me in the Friend Zone that I wanted her.

She started crying, and I never talked to her again.

Good riddance, I guess.
2014-05-29 12:04:22 PM  
1 votes:

Lsherm: I had to Google that shiat


Well, luckily, the third link that always types ahead in Google for any moderately attractive female celebrity is always name + "feet".
2014-05-29 12:03:09 PM  
1 votes:

LlamaGirl: There is no such thing as the friend zone.


That said, her feet are horrifying.


Yes there is.  It's what a guy lands himself in when he puts out friend vibes to a woman he's attracted to instead of boyfriend vibes.  It's entirely self-inflicted and due to a warped sense of how such relationships work.
2014-05-29 12:01:44 PM  
1 votes:

LlamaGirl: There is no such thing as the friend zone.


That said, her feet are horrifying.


Says the woman in a rabbt suit.
2014-05-29 11:58:01 AM  
1 votes:
2014-05-29 11:55:19 AM  
1 votes:
Should have gone with Hayek.

That's a scene that gives me a boner
2014-05-29 09:17:57 AM  
1 votes:
There is no such thing as the friend zone.


That said, her feet are horrifying.
 
Displayed 42 of 42 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter





In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report