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(Kickstarter)   Some dumb Farker thinks he can actually begin the process of building... wait for it... Starfleet Academy. Feedback welcome... on the right   (kickstarter.com) divider line 76
    More: Amusing, Starfleet Academy  
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2207 clicks; posted to FarkUs » on 28 May 2014 at 8:50 AM (8 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-28 02:29:49 AM
Wake up at 05:30, 1 hour of PT, first formation at 08:30 after you have showered, shaved and had breakfast.  First shift into the warp simulators, second shift into mathematics, sociology 101/first contact, and warp engine math.  11:00 to 11:30 is mail call, 11:30 to 13:00 hours is lunch, 13:05 to 16:15 is the reverse of the morning- second shift works the warp simulators, first works math, soc 101/first contact, and warp engine math/theory.  16:30 to 17:00 is Commander/Platoon time, evening chow at 17:05 to 18:00.  18:00 to 19:00 is barracks clean up, lights out at 21:00 hours.  Weekends are your time unless your grades are failing.

so whats the problem?
 
2014-05-28 07:29:34 AM

Trailltrader: Wake up at 05:30, 1 hour of PT, first formation at 08:30 after you have showered, shaved and had breakfast.  First shift into the warp simulators, second shift into mathematics, sociology 101/first contact, and warp engine math.  11:00 to 11:30 is mail call, 11:30 to 13:00 hours is lunch, 13:05 to 16:15 is the reverse of the morning- second shift works the warp simulators, first works math, soc 101/first contact, and warp engine math/theory.  16:30 to 17:00 is Commander/Platoon time, evening chow at 17:05 to 18:00.  18:00 to 19:00 is barracks clean up, lights out at 21:00 hours.  Weekends are your time unless your grades are failing.

so whats the problem?


Giving Wesley a blanket party is after lights out, right?
 
2014-05-28 08:03:34 AM
Nerds.......
 
2014-05-28 08:36:33 AM
I want to take the Kobayashi Maru test so I can blow that ship the fark up in front of the Klingons. It's impossible to rescue the ship anyway, might as well show the Klingon bastards that Starfleet doesn't fark around.
 
2014-05-28 08:56:55 AM
This is how you do a joke Kickstarter, subby. You actually have to put SOME effort into it yah lazy bastard.
 
2014-05-28 09:10:24 AM
I just wanna see him do that with only 200k
 
2014-05-28 09:17:19 AM

smartassx: I just wanna see him do that with only 200k


The money is for research into what would be needed.  Item one - locate possible yeomans with tall hair and short skirts.  Item two - see one.
 
2014-05-28 09:17:45 AM

Trailltrader: Wake up at 05:30, 1 hour of PT, first formation at 08:30 after you have showered, shaved and had breakfast.  First shift into the warp simulators, second shift into mathematics, sociology 101/first contact, and warp engine math.  11:00 to 11:30 is mail call, 11:30 to 13:00 hours is lunch, 13:05 to 16:15 is the reverse of the morning- second shift works the warp simulators, first works math, soc 101/first contact, and warp engine math/theory.  16:30 to 17:00 is Commander/Platoon time, evening chow at 17:05 to 18:00.  18:00 to 19:00 is barracks clean up, lights out at 21:00 hours.  Weekends are your time unless your grades are failing.

so whats the problem?


2 hours to shower and have breakfast?
Hour and a half for lunch?
45 minutes for dinner...

So well over 3 hours of meal time per day...

What is this, Fatfleet Academy?
 
2014-05-28 09:26:33 AM
The problem with a Star Trek future is that humanity is treading away from socialist utopias toward more "Mad Max" style Libertarian "paradises".
 
2014-05-28 09:28:28 AM

Mugato: I want to take the Kobayashi Maru test so I can blow that ship the fark up in front of the Klingons. It's impossible to rescue the ship anyway, might as well show the Klingon bastards that Starfleet doesn't fark around.


I want to try sending in shuttle craft to rescue the Maru crew while engaging the Klingons in a running skirmish away from the stricken vessel, only to warp back the Federation space when the rescue is complete.
 
2014-05-28 09:30:02 AM

cgraves67: Mugato: I want to take the Kobayashi Maru test so I can blow that ship the fark up in front of the Klingons. It's impossible to rescue the ship anyway, might as well show the Klingon bastards that Starfleet doesn't fark around.

I want to try sending in shuttle craft to rescue the Maru crew while engaging the Klingons in a running skirmish away from the stricken vessel, only to warp back the Federation space when the rescue is complete.


I want to vent the ship's human waste reservoirs and leave a trail of shiat back to the neutral zone.
 
2014-05-28 09:31:12 AM
How about a 4 day work week.  And I want bankers hours, 10A-2PM
 
2014-05-28 09:34:07 AM
Good luck on not making the "Psych Test" simply a big LARP-fest.


/Oh wait...this whole concept IS just a big LARP-fest.

//Lightning bolt!!!
 
2014-05-28 09:36:04 AM

Prophet of Loss: The problem with a Star Trek future is that humanity is treading away from socialist utopias toward more "Mad Max" style Libertarian "paradises".


Welcome to the real world. You wanted Star Trek. You're getting Blade Runner.
 
2014-05-28 09:37:26 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-28 09:39:42 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-28 09:40:50 AM

cgraves67: Mugato: I want to take the Kobayashi Maru test so I can blow that ship the fark up in front of the Klingons. It's impossible to rescue the ship anyway, might as well show the Klingon bastards that Starfleet doesn't fark around.

I want to try sending in shuttle craft to rescue the Maru crew while engaging the Klingons in a running skirmish away from the stricken vessel, only to warp back the Federation space when the rescue is complete.


Captain Mugato: fail - you didn't save the crew. Next!

Captain cgraves: a Klingon cruiser remains behind and destroys your shuttlecraft. Rescue fails. Next!
 
2014-05-28 09:41:10 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-28 09:44:04 AM

LZeitgeist: cgraves67: Mugato: I want to take the Kobayashi Maru test so I can blow that ship the fark up in front of the Klingons. It's impossible to rescue the ship anyway, might as well show the Klingon bastards that Starfleet doesn't fark around.

I want to try sending in shuttle craft to rescue the Maru crew while engaging the Klingons in a running skirmish away from the stricken vessel, only to warp back the Federation space when the rescue is complete.

Captain Mugato: fail - you didn't save the crew. Next!

Captain cgraves: a Klingon cruiser remains behind and destroys your shuttlecraft. Rescue fails. Next!


I know this will be a fail too, but have Red Alert start ASAP before the Klingons show up. As soon as they de-cloak, fire phasers and photon torpedos, full spread, at the lead vessel. Start evasive maneuvers and go after #2 as soon as #1 is disabled or destroyed. Repeat as necessary, depending on how many ships there are. If my ship is about to bite it, set for Ramming Speed towards the last Klingon ship, if there is a last one.
 
2014-05-28 09:45:34 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-28 09:47:53 AM

whosits_112: I know this will be a fail too, but have Red Alert start ASAP before the Klingons show up. As soon as they de-cloak, fire phasers and photon torpedos, full spread, at the lead vessel. Start evasive maneuvers and go after #2 as soon as #1 is disabled or destroyed. Repeat as necessary, depending on how many ships there are. If my ship is about to bite it, set for Ramming Speed towards the last Klingon ship, if there is a last one


Congrats, you just started an intergalactic war. Next!
 
2014-05-28 09:47:53 AM

ltdanman44: How about a 4 day work week.  And I want bankers hours, 10A-2PM



...and this lamp! The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and these matches for sure. And this magazine... and the chair. That's *all* I need!
 
2014-05-28 09:48:19 AM

Son of Thunder: Prophet of Loss: The problem with a Star Trek future is that humanity is treading away from socialist utopias toward more "Mad Max" style Libertarian "paradises".

Welcome to the real world. You wanted Star Trek. You're getting Blade Runner.


Yeah the "lowest common denominator" mentality is why we can't have nice things.
 
2014-05-28 09:50:48 AM
I am willing to fund your project 100%.....what's that? ...oh the federation dose not use money...great my part is done.Please feel free to send me some Orion babes as a thank you.
 
2014-05-28 09:50:51 AM
Google "Star Trek College Course," Starfleet Academy sorta already exists.

http://courses.georgetown.edu/?CourseID=PHIL-180
 
2014-05-28 09:52:55 AM
Prolonged adolescence strikes again.
 
2014-05-28 09:54:51 AM

Mugato: whosits_112: I know this will be a fail too, but have Red Alert start ASAP before the Klingons show up. As soon as they de-cloak, fire phasers and photon torpedos, full spread, at the lead vessel. Start evasive maneuvers and go after #2 as soon as #1 is disabled or destroyed. Repeat as necessary, depending on how many ships there are. If my ship is about to bite it, set for Ramming Speed towards the last Klingon ship, if there is a last one

Congrats, you just started an intergalactic war. Next!


Can I cast magic missile at the darkness?
 
2014-05-28 09:55:01 AM

LZeitgeist: cgraves67: Mugato: I want to take the Kobayashi Maru test so I can blow that ship the fark up in front of the Klingons. It's impossible to rescue the ship anyway, might as well show the Klingon bastards that Starfleet doesn't fark around.

I want to try sending in shuttle craft to rescue the Maru crew while engaging the Klingons in a running skirmish away from the stricken vessel, only to warp back the Federation space when the rescue is complete.

Captain Mugato: fail - you didn't save the crew. Next!

Captain cgraves: a Klingon cruiser remains behind and destroys your shuttlecraft. Rescue fails. Next!


Insult their honor. Accuse them of running away if they don't pursue you.  Take pot shots at them. Klingons can be manipulated.
 
2014-05-28 09:55:57 AM

Mugato: whosits_112: I know this will be a fail too, but have Red Alert start ASAP before the Klingons show up. As soon as they de-cloak, fire phasers and photon torpedos, full spread, at the lead vessel. Start evasive maneuvers and go after #2 as soon as #1 is disabled or destroyed. Repeat as necessary, depending on how many ships there are. If my ship is about to bite it, set for Ramming Speed towards the last Klingon ship, if there is a last one

Congrats, you just started an intergalactic war. Next!



Yup!
silkstart.com
 
2014-05-28 09:58:35 AM

AspectRatio: Prolonged adolescence strikes again.


You sound grumpy, did you lose your monocle?
 
2014-05-28 10:03:46 AM
Ok, for you Kobayashi Maru folks, question:

Why can't we just hail the Klingons and ask for permission to rescue the crew? Let the Klingons have the ship, everyone walks away?

Is this not an option?
 
2014-05-28 10:05:12 AM

Mugato: AspectRatio: Prolonged adolescence strikes again.

You sound grumpy, did you lose your monocle?



He dropped it in his cup of TEA. EARL GREY. HOT.
 
2014-05-28 10:08:14 AM

Klivian: Ok, for you Kobayashi Maru folks, question:

Why can't we just hail the Klingons and ask for permission to rescue the crew? Let the Klingons have the ship, everyone walks away?

Is this not an option?


Well, just from what I remember seeing in the movies (which is very limited), you try to hail the Klingons, they ignore you, they ready weapons and then they fire on your ass. Remember, it's a no-win, no matter what. They just blow your ass to Kingdom Come.
 
2014-05-28 10:13:59 AM

Klivian: Ok, for you Kobayashi Maru folks, question:

Why can't we just hail the Klingons and ask for permission to rescue the crew? Let the Klingons have the ship, everyone walks away?

Is this not an option?


They do not respond to any attempts at communication and come at you, guns blazing.
 
2014-05-28 10:14:43 AM

whosits_112: Klivian: Ok, for you Kobayashi Maru folks, question:

Why can't we just hail the Klingons and ask for permission to rescue the crew? Let the Klingons have the ship, everyone walks away?

Is this not an option?

Well, just from what I remember seeing in the movies (which is very limited), you try to hail the Klingons, they ignore you, they ready weapons and then they fire on your ass. Remember, it's a no-win, no matter what. They just blow your ass to Kingdom Come.


This is going into way too much thought on this but, full power to shields, weapons deactivated, evasive maneuvers and keep hailing til they get annoyed enough at the ringing phone to answer it?
 
2014-05-28 10:25:50 AM

Prophet of Loss: The problem with a Star Trek future is that humanity is treading away from socialist utopias toward more "Mad Max" style Libertarian "paradises".


The worlds great power brokers always come with promises of making a better society, but its always lies and deception to increase their own holdings.   As such, socialist utopias tend to get people killed by the millions once put into practice. Their like human bug zappers.
Its not hard to see why people would avoid that and want something a bit less likely to get them buried in a trench. Something that doesn't empower a bunch of aristocrats to lord over them.

Of course, I doubt a socialist utopia is what this guys planning.
Sounds like He wants to start a space camp so wealthy kids can pretend to be trekkies for a few years, which is nice.

/And lawsuit tempting...
 
2014-05-28 10:25:56 AM

Klivian: whosits_112: Klivian: Ok, for you Kobayashi Maru folks, question:

Why can't we just hail the Klingons and ask for permission to rescue the crew? Let the Klingons have the ship, everyone walks away?

Is this not an option?

Well, just from what I remember seeing in the movies (which is very limited), you try to hail the Klingons, they ignore you, they ready weapons and then they fire on your ass. Remember, it's a no-win, no matter what. They just blow your ass to Kingdom Come.

This is going into way too much thought on this but, full power to shields, weapons deactivated, evasive maneuvers and keep hailing til they get annoyed enough at the ringing phone to answer it?


The only thing Klingons hate more than tribbles are telemarketers.
 
2014-05-28 10:26:30 AM
Better than the dude who wants to build the enterprise for real, in 20 years.

http://www.buildtheenterprise.org/
 
2014-05-28 10:29:55 AM
*sigh*
This kickstarter isn't me.
Soon though
 
2014-05-28 10:30:33 AM

way south: Prophet of Loss: The problem with a Star Trek future is that humanity is treading away from socialist utopias toward more "Mad Max" style Libertarian "paradises".

The worlds great power brokers always come with promises of making a better society, but its always lies and deception to increase their own holdings.   As such, socialist utopias tend to get people killed by the millions once put into practice. Their like human bug zappers.
Its not hard to see why people would avoid that and want something a bit less likely to get them buried in a trench. Something that doesn't empower a bunch of aristocrats to lord over them.

Of course, I doubt a socialist utopia is what this guys planning.
Sounds like He wants to start a space camp so wealthy kids can pretend to be trekkies for a few years, which is nice.

/And lawsuit tempting...


That's the fundamental problem in one direction: true benevolence is very rare.

And in the other: The Tragedy of the Commons - it belongs to us all so no one takes responsibility.

The systems of government are not flawed: its the people who implement them that are.
 
2014-05-28 10:32:52 AM

Klivian: This is going into way too much thought on this but, full power to shields, weapons deactivated, evasive maneuvers and keep hailing til they get annoyed enough at the ringing phone to answer it?


Yes, it is too much thought.  So is this.  3 to 1 odds against you.  No amount of maneuvering can keep you alive for long.  You'd need to even the odds just to survive which means killing them thus no peaceful way out.  Even if you're a tactical genius who pulls that off I bet the simulation just spawns more hostiles.  Klingons were a hostile empire at the time of Wrath of Khan and you're a trespasser in that scenario.  It'd be like being a US Seal Team caught in Tehran, Iran or Pyongyang, North Koreia.  Or a random guy caught on some redneck's property when it's plastered with trespassers will be shot signs. Pretty much they aren't going to bother listening to your pleas or accepting your surrender and will kill you outright at best.
 
2014-05-28 10:33:09 AM

Klivian: whosits_112: Klivian: Ok, for you Kobayashi Maru folks, question:

Why can't we just hail the Klingons and ask for permission to rescue the crew? Let the Klingons have the ship, everyone walks away?

Is this not an option?

Well, just from what I remember seeing in the movies (which is very limited), you try to hail the Klingons, they ignore you, they ready weapons and then they fire on your ass. Remember, it's a no-win, no matter what. They just blow your ass to Kingdom Come.

This is going into way too much thought on this but, full power to shields, weapons deactivated, evasive maneuvers and keep hailing til they get annoyed enough at the ringing phone to answer it?


They are in kill mode. Why would they answer the phone? This is an intergalactic space ship. They can just turn off the comms.

Remember, it's a drive to fail scenario. Whatever you try will fail. Every time. It's coded that way. Even if you try something never before seen or done, the human handlers simply cause another fail point.

Talking will never work, because you can't win.
 
2014-05-28 10:36:14 AM
Mulching Mars

"To all shall see these presents...Greetings.

(Wait for applause)

To terraform Mars.
That was the simple goal from the beginning. The reasons, however, to terraform Mars were much more complicated. 

Back in the year 2012, the world was in chaos. Perpetually high unemployment, horrible economies, civil liberties being eroded away by spy organizations, and protests and riots all across the planet. The people on Earth were losing hope. Something had to be done. Something had to change.

Then one day that year, a man had a dream. A vision of the future. 

A future in which like mined individuals would come together and would not be judged by the color of their skin, their gender, whom they chose to love, or how much money they or their family had or did not have. A group of people who would cast off mysticism, ignorance, hatred, and personal greed and embrace logic, knowledge, love, and could work together towards the common goal. But above all else, they would share one common trait. The trait of the child-like wonderment of exploration. A sense of adventure and the spirit of curiosity that has guided mankind from the times when they first set sail on unknown oceans to the time they first set foot on the moon. And they would do it for peace. They would do it for all mankind.

(Wait for applause)

A future in which the exploration of the heavens of space was not limited to just corporations employing a vast number of robots, to only those who had aerospace engineering PhD's., or those lucky enough to have financial clout or lucky enough to win a contest to space. In his vision, he envisioned an organization in which the common person of average intelligence or greater would gladly bid farewell to his previous uninspiring life, be trained by the organization in a needed skill and work towards the common goal with all of his heart in exchange for a guaranteed right of the necessities of life and the opportunity to boldly go where no person had gone before.

(Wait for applause)

He knew back then that there would be many obstacles that they would face. And there were. From the initial doubters and naysayers, to the political arena and the powers that be, to the great meteor strike and all the chaos that ensued, the people of the organization rose to meet the challenges.
He knew from the beginning that such an organization could not take place in any existing country. In order for this grandest experiment to be successful, they had to have complete autonomy, so he created a new country. Our country. 
Spaceport Terra

(Wait for applause)


And here we are in the year 2059. Just look at us. From the huge nitrogen gathering stations on Titan. To the water extraction plants on Europa and Callisto. Our way stations on Ceres and Vesta. To the agricultural colonies floating in Venus's atmosphere. All the supply ships in orbit around the sun. To our great flagship space station, the Pantheist and all of its manufacturing plants at L5. To our moon station and geostationary and low Earth orbit stations and of course to our little island in the sea back on Earth.

We stand here together, in orbit of Mars, on this momentous day to complete that goal that was set so long ago by that great man. Although the Supreme Commander gave his life in a vain attempt to stop the meteor his spirit, his memory, and his vision lives on. On a personal note, although he has been called many a names: the Supreme Commander, one the greatest men to ever live, even a prophet, I just call him the grandfather I never got to know. 

(Wait for applause)

So it it is with great honor that I will relay the message from my mother, the Pro Tempore of Spaceport Terra, that she received from the Supreme Commander prior to his death that he thought should mark this glorious occasion.

'Let's begin the terraforming of Mars by, from orbit, thickening the atmosphere by dropping a whole bunch of bales of hemp in it. The bombing begins in 5 minutes.'

May knowledge be with you"

(Wait for applause)
 
2014-05-28 10:46:47 AM

Klivian: Ok, for you Kobayashi Maru folks, question:

Why can't we just hail the Klingons and ask for permission to rescue the crew? Let the Klingons have the ship, everyone walks away?

Is this not an option?


If you remember from Star Trek II, the Kobiashi Maru was a ruse to tempt your ship into the Zone. I suspect the scenario is laid out like a choose your own adventure novel, where if you DON'T go into the Neutral Zone, the ship turns out to be real.

The Scenario is designed to confound you. No matter what you do. Unless "You" happen to be Jim Kirk, and you happen to have pre-programmed the Klingons to quake in their boots at the mention of your name.
 
2014-05-28 11:09:08 AM

Evil Twin Skippy: Klivian: Ok, for you Kobayashi Maru folks, question:

Why can't we just hail the Klingons and ask for permission to rescue the crew? Let the Klingons have the ship, everyone walks away?

Is this not an option?

If you remember from Star Trek II, the Kobiashi Maru was a ruse to tempt your ship into the Zone. I suspect the scenario is laid out like a choose your own adventure novel, where if you DON'T go into the Neutral Zone, the ship turns out to be real.

The Scenario is designed to confound you. No matter what you do. Unless "You" happen to be Jim Kirk, and you happen to have pre-programmed the Klingons to quake in their boots at the mention of your name.


change kobayashi_maru.ini from DebugMode=0 to DebugMode=1 then save it?

run console command from captains chair and giggle as you give your self +10 Vorpal Holy Keen Phasers and enough XP to get Starfleet Captain Level 40
 
2014-05-28 11:11:21 AM

Klivian: whosits_112: Klivian: Ok, for you Kobayashi Maru folks, question:

Why can't we just hail the Klingons and ask for permission to rescue the crew? Let the Klingons have the ship, everyone walks away?

Is this not an option?

Well, just from what I remember seeing in the movies (which is very limited), you try to hail the Klingons, they ignore you, they ready weapons and then they fire on your ass. Remember, it's a no-win, no matter what. They just blow your ass to Kingdom Come.

This is going into way too much thought on this but, full power to shields, weapons deactivated, evasive maneuvers and keep hailing til they get annoyed enough at the ringing phone to answer it?


Give them a raspberry!
 
2014-05-28 11:23:06 AM

Prophet of Loss: way south: Prophet of Loss: The problem with a Star Trek future is that humanity is treading away from socialist utopias toward more "Mad Max" style Libertarian "paradises".

The worlds great power brokers always come with promises of making a better society, but its always lies and deception to increase their own holdings.   As such, socialist utopias tend to get people killed by the millions once put into practice. Their like human bug zappers.
Its not hard to see why people would avoid that and want something a bit less likely to get them buried in a trench. Something that doesn't empower a bunch of aristocrats to lord over them.

Of course, I doubt a socialist utopia is what this guys planning.
Sounds like He wants to start a space camp so wealthy kids can pretend to be trekkies for a few years, which is nice.

/And lawsuit tempting...

That's the fundamental problem in one direction: true benevolence is very rare.

And in the other: The Tragedy of the Commons - it belongs to us all so no one takes responsibility.

The systems of government are not flawed: its the people who implement them that are.




People were always flawed. If they were perfect, we wouldn't need government.
A new and improved system of leadership should be able to deal with our flaws, not enhance them.
When he system promises to deal with age old problems, and fails miserably to deliver on those promises, I'd call it broken as an idea.

Communism was supposed to deal with things like greed and the abuse of power, and just about every time it turns into a goddamned autocracy right off the bat. Socialism was supposed to fight things like wealth inequity and injustice, yet it seems to hire cronyists who breed the exact opposite. Capitalism was supposed to be about choice and free markets, but no sooner said than it becomes a monopolistic system.
Libertarianism makes no promises to be anything other than a mad max paradise.
At least they get a gold star for truth in advertising.

Living true to our nature might not be so bad for a change.
 
2014-05-28 11:25:01 AM
I'd just let them set off the Corbomite, and take them with me to Hell!
 
2014-05-28 11:27:04 AM

Geriatric Goodman Brown: Mugato: whosits_112: I know this will be a fail too, but have Red Alert start ASAP before the Klingons show up. As soon as they de-cloak, fire phasers and photon torpedos, full spread, at the lead vessel. Start evasive maneuvers and go after #2 as soon as #1 is disabled or destroyed. Repeat as necessary, depending on how many ships there are. If my ship is about to bite it, set for Ramming Speed towards the last Klingon ship, if there is a last one

Congrats, you just started an intergalactic war. Next!

Can I cast magic missile at the darkness?


Knock it off, Galstaff
 
2014-05-28 11:35:32 AM
Need a good global war to wipe away the dregs first.
 
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