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(Salon)   The hand you use to do everything--whether it is writing, eating cereal, flipping off a terrible driver, or masturbating--shapes your moral choices   (salon.com) divider line 72
    More: Interesting, moral choices, Sides of an equation, party favors, product description, cheesecakes  
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8554 clicks; posted to Main » on 28 May 2014 at 3:03 AM (35 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



72 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-28 12:10:27 AM  
img.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-28 12:29:32 AM  
I'm ambidextrous.

Which explains a lot, actually (see username).
 
2014-05-28 12:43:31 AM  
SINISTER LEGIONS UNITE!!
 
2014-05-28 12:52:04 AM  
In before someone makes a stupid "sinister" comm... goddammit.
 
2014-05-28 02:27:10 AM  
That article seems like it could be summed up as, "We pick whatever is easiest to reach." I'm sure if they had done the same thing, but with choices visually closer to the subject or farther away, the same effect would be observed.
 
2014-05-28 03:10:20 AM  
What does it mean when you use all of your fingers to pick your nose... at the same time?

/Yep, all eleven of them.
 
2014-05-28 03:13:03 AM  
Of the participants who showed a directional preference (most participants did), the majority of right-handers attributed positive characteristics more often to the aliens on the right whereas the majority of left-handers attributed positive characteristics more often to aliens on the left.

Good job, numbnuts, you've discovered that handedness corresponds to where people look first, and that people also tend to list positive-connotation things first.

So amazing and unexpected than when you ask them to associate words with things at random the two factors tagged as 'first' in human psychology are associated.  Who knew, except literally everyone?

// In fairness, the study's legitimate enough, just because something's completely bloody obvious doesn't mean it's not worth studying to double-check that common sense and basic logic are actually backed up by evidence.  What I'm mocking is the journalist writing a breathless, dumbfounded account of the psych equivalent of a chemistry paper verifying that water is typically liquid at room temperature.
 
2014-05-28 03:13:14 AM  
I don't give a shiat what side of the menu the carnitas is on
 
2014-05-28 03:14:59 AM  
I write with my left but everything else for the most part right handed. I cant throw a ball worth a damn lefty for example.

/no idea what this means...csb
 
2014-05-28 03:19:14 AM  
Soooooo....you claim to be left handed, huh?

badatcleaning.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-28 03:22:04 AM  

Igor Jakovsky: I write with my left but everything else for the most part right handed. I cant throw a ball worth a damn lefty for example.

/no idea what this means...csb


I do everything lefty except swing things two (baseball bat, golf club), and shoot a pistol. I don't know why those things are wired differently, either.
 
2014-05-28 03:22:49 AM  
The educational system has failed if it isn't yet common knowledge that left-handed people are utterly amoral monsters. We even have a word coined just for them:

sin·is·ter
[sin-uh-ster]
adjective
1. threatening or portending evil, harm, or trouble; ominous: a sinister remark.
2. bad, evil, base, or wicked; fell: his sinister purposes.
3. unfortunate; disastrous; unfavorable: a sinister accident.
4. of or on the left side; left.
 
2014-05-28 03:28:08 AM  
I'm not right handed or left handed.  I'm pimp handed.

/keepin' it strong
 
2014-05-28 03:33:41 AM  

Yes this is dog: Igor Jakovsky: I write with my left but everything else for the most part right handed. I cant throw a ball worth a damn lefty for example.

/no idea what this means...csb

I do everything lefty except swing things two (baseball bat, golf club), and shoot a pistol. I don't know why those things are wired differently, either.


Right eye dominate perhaps?
 
2014-05-28 03:37:10 AM  

Igor Jakovsky: I write with my left but everything else for the most part right handed. I cant throw a ball worth a damn lefty for example.

/no idea what this means...csb


Me too.  I think it has to do with being right-eye dominant.  So I shoot a gun and bow-n-arrow right handed.  I throw darts right handed.  But for fine-motor stuff like writing and drawing and eating (and self abuse, natch) I use my left hand.
 
2014-05-28 03:37:46 AM  

ArkAngel: SINISTER LEGIONS UNITE!!


*left fistpump*
 
2014-05-28 03:38:09 AM  

rosekolodny: Igor Jakovsky: I write with my left but everything else for the most part right handed. I cant throw a ball worth a damn lefty for example.

/no idea what this means...csb

Me too.  I think it has to do with being right-eye dominant.  So I shoot a gun and bow-n-arrow right handed.  I throw darts right handed.  But for fine-motor stuff like writing and drawing and eating (and self abuse, natch) I use my left hand.


BUT I'm wicked ambidextrous on the pool table.
 
2014-05-28 03:48:22 AM  

rosekolodny: Igor Jakovsky: I write with my left but everything else for the most part right handed. I cant throw a ball worth a damn lefty for example.

/no idea what this means...csb

Me too.  I think it has to do with being right-eye dominant.  So I shoot a gun and bow-n-arrow right handed.  I throw darts right handed.  But for fine-motor stuff like writing and drawing and eating (and self abuse, natch) I use my left hand.


I'm backwards and mixed up at the same time.. I shoot a rifle right handed, a bow left handed, a pistol either way but feels more natural right handed, a sword left handed, throw and write left handed...
 
2014-05-28 03:51:38 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: Yes this is dog: Igor Jakovsky: I write with my left but everything else for the most part right handed. I cant throw a ball worth a damn lefty for example.

/no idea what this means...csb

I do everything lefty except swing things two (baseball bat, golf club), and shoot a pistol. I don't know why those things are wired differently, either.

Right eye dominate perhaps?


That's my guess.

/right handed
//left eyed
//and left eared with phones

...and I shoot rifles left, pistols right
 
2014-05-28 04:01:57 AM  

Ambivalence: I'm ambidextrous.

Which explains a lot, actually (see username).


I'd give my right arm to be ambidextrous.
 
2014-05-28 04:10:58 AM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-28 04:18:06 AM  
I typ wit mah mouth.
 
2014-05-28 04:25:56 AM  

doofusgumby: Mid_mo_mad_man: Yes this is dog: Igor Jakovsky: I write with my left but everything else for the most part right handed. I cant throw a ball worth a damn lefty for example.

/no idea what this means...csb

I do everything lefty except swing things two (baseball bat, golf club), and shoot a pistol. I don't know why those things are wired differently, either.

Right eye dominate perhaps?

That's my guess.

/right handed
//left eyed
//and left eared with phones

...and I shoot rifles left, pistols right


I just checked and I am indeed right eye dominant.
 
2014-05-28 04:26:17 AM  
What does it mean if you do everything right-handed except jerk off? Asking for a friend.
 
2014-05-28 04:35:35 AM  

ghostfacekillahrabbit: What does it mean if you do everything right-handed except jerk off? Asking for a friend.


Are you jacking off your friend? Just asking.
 
2014-05-28 05:23:16 AM  

red5ish: ghostfacekillahrabbit: What does it mean if you do everything right-handed except jerk off? Asking for a friend.

Are you jacking off your friend? Just asking.


Do you think people jerk other people off with the same hand they jerk themselves off with or the opposite? I've never paid attention.
 
2014-05-28 05:25:02 AM  

ghostfacekillahrabbit: What does it mean if you do everything right-handed except jerk off? Asking for a friend.


I fap righty and use righty scissors but for everything else I'm a leftie.
 
2014-05-28 05:25:33 AM  

ghostfacekillahrabbit: What does it mean if you do everything right-handed except jerk off? Asking for a friend.


It means it's awkward to use the mouse left-handed.
 
2014-05-28 05:28:14 AM  

Jim_Callahan: Of the participants who showed a directional preference (most participants did), the majority of right-handers attributed positive characteristics more often to the aliens on the right whereas the majority of left-handers attributed positive characteristics more often to aliens on the left.

Good job, numbnuts, you've discovered that handedness corresponds to where people look first, and that people also tend to list positive-connotation things first.

So amazing and unexpected than when you ask them to associate words with things at random the two factors tagged as 'first' in human psychology are associated.  Who knew, except literally everyone?

// In fairness, the study's legitimate enough, just because something's completely bloody obvious doesn't mean it's not worth studying to double-check that common sense and basic logic are actually backed up by evidence.  What I'm mocking is the journalist writing a breathless, dumbfounded account of the psych equivalent of a chemistry paper verifying that water is typically liquid at room temperature.


I'm sure the theory is pretty old.

As a teen in the 90's I pumped gas at a small town service station. Even back then I was instructed to stock the grocery shelves with the larger package of any product on the right, as they'd be inclined to reach for that more expensive pack with their dominant hand.

/csb
 
2014-05-28 05:32:24 AM  

ghostfacekillahrabbit: red5ish: ghostfacekillahrabbit: What does it mean if you do everything right-handed except jerk off? Asking for a friend.

Are you jacking off your friend? Just asking.

Do you think people jerk other people off with the same hand they jerk themselves off with or the opposite? I've never paid attention.


You probably wouldn't want to jerk someone else off with the same hand you use for yourself.  That would be weird.
 
2014-05-28 05:43:20 AM  
Where does "the mummified hand of my last victim" fit?

/joking everyone knows flayed skin doesn't mummify
 
2014-05-28 05:58:50 AM  

g4lt: Where does "the mummified hand of my last victim" fit?

/joking everyone knows flayed skin doesn't mummify


All depends on you, bub. Just use lube.
 
2014-05-28 06:06:17 AM  

Ambivalence: I'm ambidextrous.

Which explains a lot, actually (see username).


As am I. I can switch hands and GAIN a stroke.
 
2014-05-28 06:19:02 AM  

cynicalbastard: g4lt: Where does "the mummified hand of my last victim" fit?

/joking everyone knows flayed skin doesn't mummify

All depends on you, bub. Just use lube.


Don't need to.  The whole "puts the lotion on its skin" thing works much better now that I've replaced the hose with pepper spray
 
2014-05-28 06:47:01 AM  
i232.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-28 06:47:16 AM  

red5ish: [img.fark.net image 530x310]


So, when other people say "Right On!' your response is to say "Left On!"  I get it.
 
2014-05-28 07:05:26 AM  

ghostfacekillahrabbit: What does it mean if you do everything right-handed except jerk off? Asking for a friend.


I think we have the same friend except he uses his left hand to flip-off bad drivers...
 
2014-05-28 07:06:21 AM  
I use my right hand to write (though my left-handed writing is pretty legible), my left hand for my cellphone, as I'm more comfortable with using my left ear.

My mother's left-handed, as are plenty of relatives on my maternal grandmother's side.  My son's left-handed too and he's slightly autistic--and I once had a teacher hint that I made him use his left hand.  Um, no, I didn't.
 
2014-05-28 07:15:46 AM  
I have taken tests like that before and although I'm right-handed the results of the test were a mix of left and right choices. Because, you know, I have critical thinking skills.
 
2014-05-28 07:16:27 AM  

Yes this is dog: doofusgumby: Mid_mo_mad_man: Yes this is dog: Igor Jakovsky: I write with my left but everything else for the most part right handed. I cant throw a ball worth a damn lefty for example.

/no idea what this means...csb

I do everything lefty except swing things two (baseball bat, golf club), and shoot a pistol. I don't know why those things are wired differently, either.

Right eye dominate perhaps?

That's my guess.

/right handed
//left eyed
//and left eared with phones

...and I shoot rifles left, pistols right

I just checked and I am indeed right eye dominant.


Here's how you can check for eye dominance. Take a white index card. Color on each side in a different hue. Place edge of card on the middle of thier nose. Don't tell them or show them what the colors are beforehand. Now with the card edge on thier nose ask which color they see. That eye is there dominate eye.
 
2014-05-28 07:27:14 AM  
For example, participants may have been asked to circle the "more attractive" or "less honest" alien.

Forget morality and handedness, I want to know more about these sexy aliens.
 
2014-05-28 07:34:43 AM  

Wendy's Chili: For example, participants may have been asked to circle the "more attractive" or "less honest" alien.

Forget morality and handedness, I want to know more about these sexy aliens.


I'm assuming Mexicans and not grays
 
2014-05-28 07:41:01 AM  
If you're not right-handed then you're wrong-handed
 
2014-05-28 07:43:28 AM  

SuperChuck: If you're not right-handed then you're wrong-handed


Everybody is born left handed.  They only stay that way until their first sin.
 
2014-05-28 07:45:36 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: Wendy's Chili: For example, participants may have been asked to circle the "more attractive" or "less honest" alien.

Forget morality and handedness, I want to know more about these sexy aliens.

I'm assuming Mexicans and not grays


Greens and blues are okay though, right?
 
2014-05-28 07:48:04 AM  

wraith95: ghostfacekillahrabbit: What does it mean if you do everything right-handed except jerk off? Asking for a friend.

It means it's awkward to use the mouse left-handed.


ding ding ding! We have a winner.
 
2014-05-28 07:51:12 AM  

Benni K Rok: Mid_mo_mad_man: Wendy's Chili: For example, participants may have been asked to circle the "more attractive" or "less honest" alien.

Forget morality and handedness, I want to know more about these sexy aliens.

I'm assuming Mexicans and not grays

Greens and blues are okay though, right?


The ets I've ever heard of are the Grays. Like the.movie Paul
 
2014-05-28 07:52:26 AM  
I use my wife's for all of that.
 
2014-05-28 07:53:23 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: Benni K Rok: Mid_mo_mad_man: Wendy's Chili: For example, participants may have been asked to circle the "more attractive" or "less honest" alien.

Forget morality and handedness, I want to know more about these sexy aliens.

I'm assuming Mexicans and not grays

Greens and blues are okay though, right?

The ets I've ever heard of are the Grays. Like the.movie Paul


The only ets I've ever heard of are the Grays. Like the movie Paul
 
2014-05-28 07:58:09 AM  

highwayrun: I fap righty and use righty scissors


Hopefully not at the same time...
 
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