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(Daily Mail)   The 10 worst things you can do in a hotel, from talking on a cell phone during check in to denying after the fact that you ordered an XXX movie. Typical - you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot, while I'm trying to run a hotel here   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 160
    More: Interesting, concierges, 4PM  
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13738 clicks; posted to Main » on 26 May 2014 at 9:28 AM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-26 08:13:17 AM  
fawltytowers.picture
 
2014-05-26 08:23:54 AM  
Behaayyve.
 
2014-05-26 08:33:57 AM  
Look, mom, I'm trolling on the internet.
 
2014-05-26 08:35:34 AM  
Don't mention the war.
 
2014-05-26 09:07:02 AM  
steal the shower curtain rings.
 
2014-05-26 09:07:12 AM  
As someone who has worked in hotels before, yes don't talk on your cell while checking in! We need information from you
 
2014-05-26 09:13:55 AM  

texdent: As someone who has worked in hotels before, yes don't talk on your cell while checking in! We need information from you


Sometimes that information is not readily available though.

"No, no.  I'm at the hotel now.  Did you book us under Mr & Mrs Smith or was it Jones?   Oh, and can I have your credit card number, if I use mine my wife will ask questions"
 
2014-05-26 09:22:04 AM  
I guess I can shiat the bed with impunity!!
 
2014-05-26 09:32:44 AM  
37.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-26 09:33:53 AM  
" you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot "

When did ponce get the verb upgrade?
 
2014-05-26 09:34:58 AM  
I guess accidentally killing the hooker in the bathroom doesn't rate high enough.


Also, shooting yourself in the head and getting brain matter on the mirror will usually get you kicked out of the place
 
2014-05-26 09:36:10 AM  
Last shaved my balls a few trips back as soon as I got into the room. Then discovered a very slow drain in the shower. The cleaning staff must have been pissed.

Let's make that #11.
 
2014-05-26 09:37:06 AM  

Gunderson: I guess accidentally killing the hooker in the bathroom doesn't rate high enough.


Also, shooting yourself in the head and getting brain matter on the mirror will usually get you kicked out of the place


then why bother giving me a "please do not disturb" door hangar?
 
2014-05-26 09:39:17 AM  

nulluspixiusdemonica: " you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot "

When did ponce get the verb upgrade?


All nouns have become verbs, all adjectives have become nouns and the verbs have all been shot.
 
2014-05-26 09:40:00 AM  
Is this another one of those articles/threads where minimum wageslaves bravely tell their paying customers how best to offer up their patronage via internet rants *after* an impotent encounter?  Ok then.

/I should tip 30% at least, right?
 
2014-05-26 09:40:07 AM  
Talking on the phone while being being waited on by a cashier, desk clerk, anyone is damn rude and needs to be stomped.  Unless the call is specifically related to the transaction in question it should be put on hold.
 
2014-05-26 09:44:10 AM  

Delta1212: nulluspixiusdemonica: " you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot "

When did ponce get the verb upgrade?

All nouns have become verbs, all adjectives have become nouns and the verbs have all been shot.


What about adverbs?
 
2014-05-26 09:44:16 AM  
Waiting on the public in any capacity pretty much sucks. Always has, always will.

A fair number of people who work in hotels aren't very good at waiting on people. This will never change,either.

Enjoy your stay.
 
2014-05-26 09:44:40 AM  
www.aerojockey.com

PONCE!
 
2014-05-26 09:47:24 AM  

nulluspixiusdemonica: " you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot "

When did ponce get the verb upgrade?


I like it. It's somehow fitting because Ponce de Leon was an arrogant f*ck.
Fountain of Youth my @ss.
 
2014-05-26 09:49:48 AM  
#11 Trying to obtain 'full service' from the maids

static01.nyt.com
 
2014-05-26 09:52:02 AM  
I normally check in and replace all the light bulbs I can with black light bulbs.  Then I connect a few strobe lights, placing them strategically in the room.  Then comes the fog machine - running full blast.

If you want to bring a few large potted plants and have jungle noises playing repeatedly (but not full blast), feel free.  I would not suggest bringing a chimpanzee to scare the daylights out of housekeeping when they come to clean.  That is going too far.

/better when done in a long-term stay hotel
//best when done in one of the residential hotels with LARGE rooms
 
2014-05-26 09:52:05 AM  

texdent: As someone who has worked in hotels before, yes don't talk on your cell while checking in! We need information from you


OK, just as soon as the front desk workers stop answering the phone when I'm trying to check in.

/I don't really talk on the phone during transactions.
 
2014-05-26 09:53:08 AM  

the opposite of charity is justice: Is this another one of those articles/threads where minimum wageslaves bravely tell their paying customers how best to offer up their patronage via internet rants *after* an impotent encounter?  Ok then.

/I should tip 30% at least, right?


No, you should tip 100%, its the new ponce tax.
 
2014-05-26 09:54:05 AM  

K3rmy: I normally check in and replace all the light bulbs I can with black light bulbs.  Then I connect a few strobe lights, placing them strategically in the room.  Then comes the fog machine - running full blast.

If you want to bring a few large potted plants and have jungle noises playing repeatedly (but not full blast), feel free.  I would not suggest bringing a chimpanzee to scare the daylights out of housekeeping when they come to clean.  That is going too far.

/better when done in a long-term stay hotel
//best when done in one of the residential hotels with LARGE rooms


I've always wanted to leave a pile of plastic skulls in the entryway to greet the maid.
 
2014-05-26 09:54:09 AM  

Delta1212: nulluspixiusdemonica: " you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot "

When did ponce get the verb upgrade?

All nouns have become verbs, all adjectives have become nouns and the verbs have all been shot.


Aaand favorited!
 
2014-05-26 09:54:16 AM  
If it's late at night and the hotel doesn't appear full, the worst thing you can do is slap your credit card down on the counter and ask for a room. You will pay full price. Ask how full they are, ask whats the best rate, ask if they can go any lower than their best rate.
 
2014-05-26 09:54:53 AM  
So it is OK to use the sewing kit to sew the sheets to the drapes.
 
2014-05-26 09:55:38 AM  

DrBrownCow: texdent: As someone who has worked in hotels before, yes don't talk on your cell while checking in! We need information from you

OK, just as soon as the front desk workers stop answering the phone when I'm trying to check in.

/I don't really talk on the phone during transactions.


That really can't be helped especially if you're the only one at the front desk and the hotels I've worked at want you to get the phone by the third ring.
 
2014-05-26 09:59:23 AM  

great_tigers: Last shaved my balls a few trips back as soon as I got into the room. Then discovered a very slow drain in the shower. The cleaning staff must have been pissed.

Let's make that #11.


wife and I went completely bald on our honeymoon.. in the in room hottub. ..yeah.. bad idea apparently
 
2014-05-26 10:00:28 AM  
ONE porno? As in the singular? Subby is a lightweight.
 
2014-05-26 10:01:13 AM  

texdent: DrBrownCow: texdent: As someone who has worked in hotels before, yes don't talk on your cell while checking in! We need information from you

OK, just as soon as the front desk workers stop answering the phone when I'm trying to check in.

/I don't really talk on the phone during transactions.

That really can't be helped especially if you're the only one at the front desk and the hotels I've worked at want you to get the phone by the third ring.


"Would you please hold? I have a customer in front of me who I'm in the process of checking in/out."
 
2014-05-26 10:02:28 AM  

texdent: DrBrownCow: texdent: As someone who has worked in hotels before, yes don't talk on your cell while checking in! We need information from you

OK, just as soon as the front desk workers stop answering the phone when I'm trying to check in.

/I don't really talk on the phone during transactions.

That really can't be helped especially if you're the only one at the front desk and the hotels I've worked at want you to get the phone by the third ring.


thats why the Hotel should have an automatic queue on the line.. 3 rings and into queue.
 
2014-05-26 10:02:30 AM  
images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com
Nick Schaffer: What's this $110?
Hotel Clerk: Those are your in-room movies.
Nick Schaffer: No, I didn't watch any movies.
Hotel Clerk: Okay, let's see... Afro Whores.
Nick Schaffer: Afro Whores?
Hotel Clerk: You watched it... let's see... uh, 11 times.
Nick Schaffer: No, no, no...
Hotel Clerk: Afro Whores, 2:30. Afro Whores, 4 o'clock. Afro Whores, 5:30. It says in the morning you watched The Grinch for ten minutes and then switched back over to Afro Whores.
Nick Schaffer: I swear I didn't watch it. Okay? I was at a bachelor party. There were 35 people there. You can ask any of them. You have to take that off my record.
Hotel Clerk: This is not a record, sir.
Nick Schaffer: It... It's a delete.
Hotel Clerk: Okay, fine. How many times *did* you watch it?
Nick Schaffer: None! I didn't watch it!
Hotel Clerk: Are you sure? "Sizzling, three-way, backdoor action featuring two sexy soul sisters... "
Nick Schaffer: [screaming] I don't need to know what it's about! I did not watch it! I didn't.
[hotel clerk raises her eyebrows]
 
2014-05-26 10:02:44 AM  
5. Leaving your rubbish in the hallway
Room service trays are fine. 48 crushed beer cans, three pizza boxes, an empty mouthwash bottle, and what we're really hoping isn't a used condom? Not cool.



Leave them in front of someone else's door.  Problem solved.
 
2014-05-26 10:03:15 AM  

BizarreMan: Talking on the phone while being being waited on by a cashier, desk clerk, anyone is damn rude and needs to be stomped.  Unless the call is specifically related to the transaction in question it should be put on hold.


I'm going to start getting violent on these people. I've already telling the person next to me a made-up obscene story that the woman in front of me and her caller are going to hear loudly, just to piss them off (and 9 times out of 10, it's a woman). In a few cases, they've given me a "how dare you" response when they rapidly put the phone down, but it's not enough.

I've had a few occassions where I'm about to be served and a client rings, and I just drop my place in the queue. You've got voicemail, people. View it like if you're taking a dump, or mid-coitus. Unless you're a doctor on call, you have no excuse.
 
2014-05-26 10:03:24 AM  
I didn't see "don't wipe your dick on the curtains", so I guess I'm still good to go.
 
2014-05-26 10:03:35 AM  

texdent: That really can't be helped especially if you're the only one at the front desk and the hotels I've worked at want you to get the phone by the third ring.


Oh, I understand that it is usually the result of some corporate policy to always answer to avoid losing a potential customer.
 
2014-05-26 10:04:30 AM  
My list:
1. Upper Decker.
2.  This:
img.youtube.com
3. Purchasing "Mr Magorium Wonder Emporium"
 
2014-05-26 10:04:44 AM  

lindalouwho: texdent: DrBrownCow: texdent: As someone who has worked in hotels before, yes don't talk on your cell while checking in! We need information from you

OK, just as soon as the front desk workers stop answering the phone when I'm trying to check in.

/I don't really talk on the phone during transactions.

That really can't be helped especially if you're the only one at the front desk and the hotels I've worked at want you to get the phone by the third ring.

"Would you please hold? I have a customer in front of me who I'm in the process of checking in/out."


That's what I tried to do anyways, but then they'll keep calling back just getting angrier in the process.
 
2014-05-26 10:04:54 AM  

texdent: Delta1212: nulluspixiusdemonica: " you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot "

When did ponce get the verb upgrade?

All nouns have become verbs, all adjectives have become nouns and the verbs have all been shot.

What about adverbs?


Lolly has them.
 
2014-05-26 10:08:45 AM  
you ponce in here


img1.wikia.nocookie.net

"Hai guyz ... what's going on in this thread?"
 
2014-05-26 10:09:43 AM  

largedon: Nick Schaffer: What's this $110?
Hotel Clerk: Those are your in-room movies.
Nick Schaffer: No, I didn't watch any movies.
Hotel Clerk: Okay, let's see... Afro Whores.
Nick Schaffer: Afro Whores?
Hotel Clerk: You watched it... let's see... uh, 11 times.
Nick Schaffer: No, no, no...
Hotel Clerk: Afro Whores, 2:30. Afro Whores, 4 o'clock. Afro Whores, 5:30. It says in the morning you watched The Grinch for ten minutes and then switched back over to Afro Whores.
Nick Schaffer: I swear I didn't watch it. Okay? I was at a bachelor party. There were 35 people there. You can ask any of them. You have to take that off my record.
Hotel Clerk: This is not a record, sir.
Nick Schaffer: It... It's a delete.
Hotel Clerk: Okay, fine. How many times *did* you watch it?
Nick Schaffer: None! I didn't watch it!
Hotel Clerk: Are you sure? "Sizzling, three-way, backdoor action featuring two sexy soul sisters... "
Nick Schaffer: [screaming] I don't need to know what it's about! I did not watch it! I didn't.
[hotel clerk raises her eyebrows]


Came here to DAK the "Afro-Whores", leaving satisfied :D
 
2014-05-26 10:09:46 AM  

farkeruk: BizarreMan: Talking on the phone while being being waited on by a cashier, desk clerk, anyone is damn rude and needs to be stomped.  Unless the call is specifically related to the transaction in question it should be put on hold.

I'm going to start getting violent on these people. I've already telling the person next to me a made-up obscene story that the woman in front of me and her caller are going to hear loudly, just to piss them off (and 9 times out of 10, it's a woman). In a few cases, they've given me a "how dare you" response when they rapidly put the phone down, but it's not enough.

I've had a few occassions where I'm about to be served and a client rings, and I just drop my place in the queue. You've got voicemail, people. View it like if you're taking a dump, or mid-coitus. Unless you're a doctor on call, you have no excuse.


Call me while I am on the shiatter at your own risk. I'm answering that shiat.
 
2014-05-26 10:11:11 AM  

OtherLittleGuy: texdent: Delta1212: nulluspixiusdemonica: " you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot "

When did ponce get the verb upgrade?

All nouns have become verbs, all adjectives have become nouns and the verbs have all been shot.

What about adverbs?

Lolly has them.


i291.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-26 10:13:00 AM  
I see about ten FU and you took my moneys on this list.
 
2014-05-26 10:13:13 AM  
ProTip: Always deny the cum stains.

/Tip? At a motel/hotel. The hell you say.
 
2014-05-26 10:14:49 AM  

texdent: Delta1212: nulluspixiusdemonica: " you ponce in here expecting to be waited on hand and foot "

When did ponce get the verb upgrade?

All nouns have become verbs, all adjectives have become nouns and the verbs have all been shot.

What about adverbs?


These days, I prefer gerunding instead.
 
2014-05-26 10:17:12 AM  

Smackledorfer: Call me while I am on the shiatter at your own risk. I'm answering that shiat.


I had a new client call me from the khazi recently. Like WTF? I can understand answering a call there, but sitting down and thinking "hey, I'll call that guy up about a project". Who does that?
 
2014-05-26 10:18:39 AM  
The Patels have really gotten bossy towards customers.
 
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