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(The Dating Specialist)   In this online edition of Cosmo for Men: "10 Playful Teases That Women Secretly Love". Yeah... not so much   (thedatingspecialist.com) divider line 217
    More: Fail, Secret Love  
•       •       •

13504 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2014 at 3:34 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-25 04:23:08 PM  

ReverendJynxed: audiblesmile: Or how about being yourself and not a fraud. Pretty pathetic to have to act or trick someone into liking you.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387]
Approves.


"Upon reflection. I believe that I could squarely best you in a game of Scrabble. Furthermore, since we both share a fondness for drinking liquids. I declare you my closest companion. When will you provide me with sex?"
 
2014-05-25 04:27:09 PM  

Jim_Callahan: Someone should probably tell this guy that negging doesn't actually  work.  Sure, sometimes you'll still get laid, but it's more an "in spite of" thing where the woman is also there looking to get laid and she knows she won't have to put up with your annoying habits for more than a couple hours.

It'll rarely if ever  increase your chances, beyond just padding out the conversation a bit.


If negging doesn't work, then please explain to me why it's the oldest and most used tool in the PUA's toolbox? Yeah, about that: women who hang out in bars are damaged goods. They are either there to drown their sorrows, or like you said: to get laid. The kind of women who pick up strange from bars have esteem issues, and are easily manipulated by screwing with their self worth. They want to believe that they are doing the choosing, and rejection weakens them. I've seen it done over and over again for decades. The best manipulator wins every time. Women with baggage are ripe for the picking by a pickup artist, and that is the bulk of women who need a bar to find a lay.
 
2014-05-25 04:28:58 PM  
Usually I just sidle up to a lady at the bar and slide her a notecard containing my entire Fark ignore list.

"A lot of those guys said something vaguely mysoginistic," I say, with a smile and a wink.
 
2014-05-25 04:31:22 PM  

buckler: ReverendJynxed: audiblesmile: Or how about being yourself and not a fraud. Pretty pathetic to have to act or trick someone into liking you.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387]
Approves.

"Upon reflection. I believe that I could squarely best you in a game of Scrabble. Furthermore, since we both share a fondness for drinking liquids. I declare you my closest companion. When will you provide me with sex?"


You will have to first, best me at scramble. I will then consider allowing you to do the sex at me.
 
2014-05-25 04:33:32 PM  

audiblesmile: buckler: ReverendJynxed: audiblesmile: Or how about being yourself and not a fraud. Pretty pathetic to have to act or trick someone into liking you.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387]
Approves.

"Upon reflection. I believe that I could squarely best you in a game of Scrabble. Furthermore, since we both share a fondness for drinking liquids. I declare you my closest companion. When will you provide me with sex?"

You will have to first, best me at scramble. I will then consider allowing you to do the sex at me.


Haha. Oops. Looks like an easy scrabble win for you.....
 
2014-05-25 04:36:18 PM  
My favorite playful ice-breaker is to sneak up and snap her bra strap through her shirt. Easy to execute, funny and sexy.
 
2014-05-25 04:36:43 PM  

thespindrifter: Jim_Callahan: Someone should probably tell this guy that negging doesn't actually  work.  Sure, sometimes you'll still get laid, but it's more an "in spite of" thing where the woman is also there looking to get laid and she knows she won't have to put up with your annoying habits for more than a couple hours.

It'll rarely if ever  increase your chances, beyond just padding out the conversation a bit.

If negging doesn't work, then please explain to me why it's the oldest and most used tool in the PUA's toolbox? Yeah, about that: women who hang out in bars are damaged goods. They are either there to drown their sorrows, or like you said: to get laid. The kind of women who pick up strange from bars have esteem issues, and are easily manipulated by screwing with their self worth. They want to believe that they are doing the choosing, and rejection weakens them. I've seen it done over and over again for decades. The best manipulator wins every time. Women with baggage are ripe for the picking by a pickup artist, and that is the bulk of women who need a bar to find a lay.


Do you find being a narrow minded blow hard helps to attract women?
 
2014-05-25 04:37:15 PM  
I think Scott Peterson has got better pick-up line than the author
 
2014-05-25 04:37:20 PM  

Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.


Probably from the stench.
 
2014-05-25 04:37:43 PM  
To all the sad sacks pulling the "hot guys are never creepy" bullshiat -- i say BULLshiat.

Look at Elliot Rodger, cute, expensive car, rich parents and going to school right off the beach. Women stayed away in droves -- because he was a creep.
 
2014-05-25 04:38:00 PM  
So here's the thing. Those dumb little bits of advice in Cosmo are fine for women because whatever stupid thing you say or do doesn't matter as long as you look good.

This is not the case for men unless you are more ridiculously good looking than Derek Zoolander.
 
2014-05-25 04:41:24 PM  
11. Drop your pants, light your pubes on fire, and shout, "You want some of this?" Chicks dig that shiat.
 
2014-05-25 04:44:02 PM  
Of all the perspectives and attitudes I've had in life, the one that had the most women find attractive was the one where I was enjoying life, being my natural nerdy/physical/playful self, thoughtful, dirty, and genuinely interested in getting g to know the woman sitting across from me. If I could go back and tell myself something, it would be that EVERYBODY (not just women) finds a man who is cheerful and secure attractive.
 
2014-05-25 04:44:50 PM  

Terpsichore: To all the sad sacks pulling the "hot guys are never creepy" bullshiat -- i say BULLshiat.

Look at Elliot Rodger, cute, expensive car, rich parents and going to school right off the beach. Women stayed away in droves -- because he was a creep.


The ironic thing is if he had survived his little rampage, there are some women who would do him because of it.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hybristophilia
 
2014-05-25 04:45:46 PM  

LoneWolf343: Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.

Probably from the stench.


But I use axe body spray, and I wear a gold chain necklace.
 
2014-05-25 04:49:29 PM  

Whatchoo Talkinbout: bingethinker: Rapmaster2000: Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.

Slam pieces don't like it when you call them broads.

/i just wanted to say slam pieces for once
//how did i do?

Hey, chicks don't like it when you call them slam pieces.

Cum dumpsters don't like it when you call them chicks or slam pieces.



Hey now. Everyone knows the preferred term is dick ornament.
 
2014-05-25 04:51:19 PM  

audiblesmile: buckler: ReverendJynxed: audiblesmile: Or how about being yourself and not a fraud. Pretty pathetic to have to act or trick someone into liking you.

[i.telegraph.co.uk image 620x387]
Approves.

"Upon reflection. I believe that I could squarely best you in a game of Scrabble. Furthermore, since we both share a fondness for drinking liquids. I declare you my closest companion. When will you provide me with sex?"

You will have to first, best me at scramble. I will then consider allowing you to do the sex at me.


i would greatly like to penis you a couple of times
 
2014-05-25 04:52:15 PM  
How women liked to be touched .. their name on this card .. your account ..

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-25 04:52:54 PM  

bingethinker: Fail tag must be for Subby, who squats in the basement and never kids around with women.

You got all that from a 19 word headline?

c1.staticflickr.com

/I don't like roofies.
//They taste bad.
 
2014-05-25 04:53:30 PM  
I'd reply to this thread, but I have to be at the gym in 26 minutes.
 
2014-05-25 05:03:22 PM  
And when you're done doing all those things, kick yourself in the nuts to save her the trouble.
 
2014-05-25 05:03:40 PM  

thespindrifter: ciberido: thespindrifter: Ah, the treasured "Neg'"... seems to work perfectly on all the non-lesbo feminazis with low self esteem, but exponentially so if you are 1) rich, 2) built like Dwayne Johnson, 3) all of the above.

There's an xkcd for every Fark thread.

Too bad the percentage of women who could actually be smart enough to pull that off is so substantially small that it pretty much never happens in real life. That cartoon right there is nothing more than a Joss Wheadon "Ass kicking hot chick" absurdist fantasy.

If that were even remotely real, the club and bar 'scene' would disappear overnight. The reason why abusive assholes continue to exist is because women love it. Betas finish last, and Alphas win by basically using this exact ploy.

The real trick is to find the middle ground between being a sucker of a nice guy or turning into a tool. It's a rare skill.


OR...

There is no "real trick" and women are human beings and shouldn't be treated like stupid LARP versions of cheesy hentai video games.
 
2014-05-25 05:05:53 PM  
Geeze, some of you take this shiat so seriously. It's not really retarded advice to actually learn a social skill, like teasing and conversation.

Be friendly and clean and have good hygiene and for fark sake make her laugh and feel good about herself. It's all ya need.
 
2014-05-25 05:07:54 PM  

bingethinker: Fail tag must be for Subby, who squats in the basement and never kids around with women.


k there PUA.  Did you even read that list?  It's basically "degrade her at every turn".
 
2014-05-25 05:08:21 PM  
Hmm, that's a hard one to say
It's hard to say, I'd say
Well wash your ass every day
Wash your whole body every day
And brush your breath at least 2 or 3 times a day
With your teeth, and then you know, wash the face

Carry some of your herbal or salt or pepper around in your pocket
Stuff, it opens up in your pocket and gets mixed up with your lint cotton
Or mess with the flavour cause when you take the herb and put it in your mouth
Then you gonna be eatin' somethin' then you got little strings of lint pullin' on your teeth
So you just take it out and use the string for flossin'

Well, you need different pairs of socks
You know, some times you need the coloured socks
That's if you're gonna wear one pair of socks to hide your dirt
Then every, every, every other couple of days I mean, you wear the white sock
You can wear them probably 1 or 2 days
Until you try to walk aroun' an' they get caught in the carpet
Then the dirt used up from the carpet gets up into your sock
Then you get the little black spots on the side
Or you can go and get, you know, the different types
There's other types of socks that's made for shoes
But then they get funky and your feet start sweatin' and stuff
Or you can get sweat socks that grab the sweat so they won't be funking
And you get the powder into put it in so you won't get the funk or the funky feet
Or that little feet and the stink is you have to be the funk
Cuz when you die you go back to the funk
And if you got sock funk you got to be funky cause it stinkin
Like something ran up in your ass and just died
 
2014-05-25 05:12:07 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: My reaction to each:

Fark you.
Fark you sideways.
With a rutabaga.
Yeah, because the most attractive thing is to hear how a guy could whip your ass if he wanted.  Might as well wear an A-Shirt, too.
I'm running out of ways to say Fark You, here.
Great advice if you're looking for a beard.
What a goddamn douchebag.
You're right.  I enjoy the company of men.
You're gay.  Which is fine - so am I.
Dream on, Studman.


You're such a brat.
 
2014-05-25 05:13:19 PM  
Give her a silly nickname.

I get enough of this at work. Do you want to be treated like the iron workers who do this?

Point out something embarrassing or nerdy about her.

Ahahah. Oh hilarious. The Hawkeye painting on canvas, massive Iron man poster, Giger lithograph, and multiple shelves of comic books have suggested I'm a nerd. Oh hahah. Funny. Go away.

Mimic or mock her.

This is why I dumped my drink your lap.

Challenge her.

Unless this is to strip mario kart, think again.

Treat her like a child.

GET YOUR SHIAT AND GET OUT.

Roleplay with her.

Grab your dice, we're doing this right.

Stereotype her in a humorous way.

LEAVE.

Tell her you wouldn't get along.

Judging by this list, you are my nemesis, so yeah we're not getting along.

Disagree with something she said.

Citation needed. Bring facts or don't bother.

Accuse her of hitting on you or being sexually aggressive.

Unless I'm doing this:

i.imgur.com

Then no.
 
2014-05-25 05:14:54 PM  

thespindrifter: bingethinker: Man, the internet is so binary, so 0 and 1, so wonderful/horrible. Some gentle teasing or a funny remark that's not sexist or offensive is not the same thing as "negging". Show some humor, some personality, something to set you apart from that group of losers sitting there staring at her like she's a piece of meat.

People with personality don't pick up women in bars. They go out and live successful lives and probably already landed the girlfriends and wife they wanted by the end of college. People with personality don't go trolling; they sit back and let the good things come to them after proving they are the peak of desirability in other ways. The bar crowd is pretty much just assholes, wannabe Betas who don't know any better, and drunks.


Either you don't go to bars, in which case you are in no position to say what types are normally found there, or you have no personality. Which is it?
 
2014-05-25 05:16:03 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: How women liked to be touched .. their name on this card .. your account ..

[3.bp.blogspot.com image 500x275]


The race card works?
 
2014-05-25 05:16:54 PM  
www.bothfavorites.com
 
2014-05-25 05:21:03 PM  

thespindrifter: Jim_Callahan: Someone should probably tell this guy that negging doesn't actually  work.  Sure, sometimes you'll still get laid, but it's more an "in spite of" thing where the woman is also there looking to get laid and she knows she won't have to put up with your annoying habits for more than a couple hours.

It'll rarely if ever  increase your chances, beyond just padding out the conversation a bit.

If negging doesn't work, then please explain to me why it's the oldest and most used tool in the PUA's toolbox? Yeah, about that: women who hang out in bars are damaged goods. They are either there to drown their sorrows, or like you said: to get laid. The kind of women who pick up strange from bars have esteem issues, and are easily manipulated by screwing with their self worth. They want to believe that they are doing the choosing, and rejection weakens them. I've seen it done over and over again for decades. The best manipulator wins every time. Women with baggage are ripe for the picking by a pickup artist, and that is the bulk of women who need a bar to find a lay.


Ah, I have found the answer to my question.
 
2014-05-25 05:26:34 PM  
When did "beta" become a slur?

Seriously, outside the PUA threads, I've never heard or seen anyone get called a beta before. What the hell is going on?
 
2014-05-25 05:32:05 PM  

soseussme: Whether that line of BS works or not, the guy still has to live with being a douchebag his entire life, and the best girl he will ever be with is one stupid enough to sleep with a douchebag.

In my experience, certain types of girls actually are attracted to douchebags, but I don't want to be a douchebag, and I don't want to attract those types of girls. They are stupid and have no self-esteem. At best they are needy, energy-draining emotional black holes who deserve pity, but guys I know who were "successful" with such tactics have ended up with stalkers, attacked with scissors, had their possessions thrown out of windows, etc.

I guess they deserved it for being douchebags though.


I have been thinking about this recently, being single and all.
MAYBE it would be awesome getting some of those dumb chicks to date me.
Then I remember what you said.

WTF is wrong with those guys? bad role models from parents?
WTF is wrong with those girls? same
 
2014-05-25 05:32:38 PM  

The Larch: When did "beta" become a slur?

Seriously, outside the PUA threads, I've never heard or seen anyone get called a beta before. What the hell is going on?


4chan cancer continues to spread to the rest of the internet, nothing to see here.
 
2014-05-25 05:33:38 PM  

Bonobo62: 11. Drop your pants, light your pubes on fire, and shout, "You want some of this?" Chicks dig that shiat.


You jest, but Japanese exchange students taught me about jungle fire. They would apply styling mousse to pubes then ignite. It was a regular occurrence up at Western.
 
2014-05-25 05:34:18 PM  

The Larch: When did "beta" become a slur?

Seriously, outside the PUA threads, I've never heard or seen anyone get called a beta before. What the hell is going on?


Considering Beta fish are farking psycho assholes who kill each other.
 
2014-05-25 05:34:34 PM  

The Larch: When did "beta" become a slur?

Seriously, outside the PUA threads, I've never heard or seen anyone get called a beta before. What the hell is going on?


Alphas started losing their attraction and are trying to fight back.
 
2014-05-25 05:34:55 PM  
"10 things a womans gay friend might say"
 
2014-05-25 05:36:52 PM  

Heraclitus: "10 things a woman's gay friend might say"


i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-25 05:38:00 PM  
Most women who are at least somewhat attractive know that they have a certain power over a good portion of men. They have grown up getting what they want, free drinks, getting out of tickets, people to help them move, free help with homework, etc for years. They're used to it.

The key is to not be one of those guys who falls into that trap. They like a guy who is immune to the "you're hot, let me be your servant in hopes you'll fark me" attitude. Now sometimes that can indeed be with negging. Other times it can be with just being laid back, enjoying your own life and not being wrapped up in finding a girl.

That's the thing. This thread, and all the rest like it, always turns into people arguing that negging works, and people arguing that it doesn't and that being comfortable with yourself and not wrapped up in her is the real key.

You're both right. Because both are just different ways you're breaking out of the box hot chicks expect you to be in. Either way you're showing that you're not someone who is going to fall over yourself trying to please her and be the best doormat she can find. Whether that's be disarming her hotness and taking that tool away from her from the get go by negging, or by being that sure of yourself and happy with your own life that you don't really get wound up over if she's hot or not. Both work.  And coincidentally, that's why douchebags and assholes seem to be so successful all the time. The chick isn't with him specifically because he's an asshole. But she is with him because he really believes he's the most awesome guy ever. It's the confidence/arrogance thing. Both are traits guys who believe in themselves have. It's confidence if it's tempered by reality and being a decent person. It's arrogance if it's unbound and causes you to look down on others. But most women can't tell the difference between the two. Again, it goes back to showing that you're not someone who is entranced by their charms. You can do that by being an arrogant asshole who just looks down on her, or by being a confident guy who loves his life and believes he's a great person to be around. Both work. That's why we end up with Fark arguments where both sides argue about what works from your own anecdotes and experiences. They both work.
 
2014-05-25 05:39:23 PM  
Those kind of magazines just objectify men.

Only sick women read them.
 
2014-05-25 05:40:38 PM  

JRoo: Those kind of magazines just objectify men.

Only sick women read them.


Strike that, reverse it. Oh nevermind.
 
2014-05-25 05:42:20 PM  

JerkyMeat: Ask her if she is on her period, and make sure to call her fat.


Don't forget to ask about certain odors too .


But really  that list sounds like too much work .
 
2014-05-25 05:44:07 PM  
girls might like those tactics because girls are idiots.  women, on the other hand, will simply walk away.
 
2014-05-25 05:46:32 PM  

Greenshuz: thespindrifter: ciberido: thespindrifter: Ah, the treasured "Neg'"... seems to work perfectly on all the non-lesbo feminazis with low self esteem, but exponentially so if you are 1) rich, 2) built like Dwayne Johnson, 3) all of the above.

There's an xkcd for every Fark thread.

Too bad the percentage of women who could actually be smart enough to pull that off is so substantially small that it pretty much never happens in real life. That cartoon right there is nothing more than a Joss Wheadon "Ass kicking hot chick" absurdist fantasy.

If that were even remotely real, the club and bar 'scene' would disappear overnight. The reason why abusive assholes continue to exist is because women love it. Betas finish last, and Alphas win by basically using this exact ploy.

The real trick is to find the middle ground between being a sucker of a nice guy or turning into a tool. It's a rare skill.

OR...

There is no "real trick" and women are human beings and shouldn't be treated like stupid LARP versions of cheesy hentai video games.


Wai dey no want see my tentacles?
 
2014-05-25 05:46:47 PM  

LoneWolf343: Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.

Probably from the stench.


A ball shaped dick is quite an oddity.
 
2014-05-25 05:51:46 PM  
Like when i met my wife, by that time I was done with the games, and was just myself. Not lying or trying to appear more than i was. Now, when my son asked me why I got married, I told him "iI just gave up."
/ Didn't get married for the first time until in my 30s. It was kinda sad seeing my group of friends get smaller.
// Now they've got kids and mostly divorced. I'm okay.
 
2014-05-25 05:54:08 PM  

thespindrifter: Jim_Callahan: Someone should probably tell this guy that negging doesn't actually  work.  Sure, sometimes you'll still get laid, but it's more an "in spite of" thing where the woman is also there looking to get laid and she knows she won't have to put up with your annoying habits for more than a couple hours.

It'll rarely if ever  increase your chances, beyond just padding out the conversation a bit.

If negging doesn't work, then please explain to me why it's the oldest and most used tool in the PUA's toolbox? Yeah, about that: women who hang out in bars are damaged goods. They are either there to drown their sorrows, or like you said: to get laid. The kind of women who pick up strange from bars have esteem issues, and are easily manipulated by screwing with their self worth. They want to believe that they are doing the choosing, and rejection weakens them. I've seen it done over and over again for decades. The best manipulator wins every time. Women with baggage are ripe for the picking by a pickup artist, and that is the bulk of women who need a bar to find a lay.


what does it say about the guys wanting to pick up this kind of girl?  he's just as f*cked up as she is.  he doesn't value himself, either.  or did that not occur to you, that men can be broken pieces of sh*t as well?  and did you ever consider HOW those girls got to be that way?  odds are, at the hands of other men.  none of you will ever take responsibility for how you destroy the females of this planet, ever.  how convenient.
 
2014-05-25 05:56:53 PM  

FunkOut: LoneWolf343: Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.

Probably from the stench.

A ball shaped dick is quite an oddity.


But the chick's dig it!
d2tq98mqfjyz2l.cloudfront.net
 
2014-05-25 05:59:33 PM  

Raspil: what does it say about the guys wanting to pick up this kind of girl?  he's just as f*cked up as she is.  he doesn't value himself, either.  or did that not occur to you, that men can be broken pieces of sh*t as well?  and did you ever consider HOW those girls got to be that way?  odds are, at the hands of other men.  none of you will ever take responsibility for how you destroy the females of this planet, ever.  how convenient.


Take your farking "men cause all of women's problems" bullshiat somewhere else.
 
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