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(The Dating Specialist)   In this online edition of Cosmo for Men: "10 Playful Teases That Women Secretly Love". Yeah... not so much   (thedatingspecialist.com) divider line 217
    More: Fail, Secret Love  
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13504 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2014 at 3:34 PM (30 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



217 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-25 02:05:05 PM  
Fail tag must be for Subby, who squats in the basement and never kids around with women.
 
2014-05-25 02:17:27 PM  
My reaction to each:

Fark you.
Fark you sideways.
With a rutabaga.
Yeah, because the most attractive thing is to hear how a guy could whip your ass if he wanted.  Might as well wear an A-Shirt, too.
I'm running out of ways to say Fark You, here.
Great advice if you're looking for a beard.
What a goddamn douchebag.
You're right.  I enjoy the company of men.
You're gay.  Which is fine - so am I.
Dream on, Studman.
 
2014-05-25 03:34:53 PM  
I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.
 
2014-05-25 03:38:38 PM  
derek.broox.com
Got your nose!

I want to have your babbys!!
 
2014-05-25 03:39:16 PM  
My favorite tease is "It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again". That's not an euphamism.
 
2014-05-25 03:39:35 PM  
Play hard to get....
Like a boss.


Wait! WAIT!!
WHERE ARE YOU GOING?!!
 
2014-05-25 03:40:12 PM  
Ask her if she is on her period, and make sure to call her fat.
 
2014-05-25 03:40:21 PM  
I tell them about how I devastatingly took down some guy's argument on Fark.  Chicks like guys who hang around the internet.
 
2014-05-25 03:40:32 PM  
"Can you please stop checking out my ass?"

Why would I say that?
 
2014-05-25 03:41:13 PM  

Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.


Slam pieces don't like it when you call them broads.

/i just wanted to say slam pieces for once
//how did i do?
 
2014-05-25 03:41:58 PM  

listernine: My favorite tease is "It puts the lotion on its skin, or else it gets the hose again". That's not an euphamism.


Let me show you mine:

i53.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-25 03:43:30 PM  
Yes, treat a woman you want to date like a child.  I wonder if that virgin whack job followed some of those to the q t.
 
2014-05-25 03:45:11 PM  
Wow.  The only women who fall for this crap are covered by rule #1; "Don't go to bed with someone who has more problems than you do."

Seriously,  this is from some sort of "players' handbook", and guarantees that you'll spend all your time in the company of 'daddy issues' girls.  I would rather stick a spoon in my eye than get involved with a needy, clingy, insecure woman who would fall for that nonsense.
 
2014-05-25 03:45:14 PM  
Roleplay with her.
"You like Dr. Who? We're officially best friends now." (put your arm around her)
"That's it, we're breaking up - I want my letterman jacket back!"


Umm, what?  Letter jacket?
 
2014-05-25 03:45:20 PM  
Ah, the treasured "Neg'"... seems to work perfectly on all the non-lesbo feminazis with low self esteem, but exponentially so if you are 1) rich, 2) built like Dwayne Johnson, 3) all of the above.

/Wymyn just *love* abusive doucenozzle assholes.
 
2014-05-25 03:45:24 PM  
Be a dick to women, huh?

I see plenty of dudes who are dicks that are also in relationships with women. Maybe that's my issue; I don't treat women like shiat.

/ your sarcasm detector should sound like it's having a stroke
 
2014-05-25 03:45:30 PM  

Rapmaster2000: Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.

Slam pieces don't like it when you call them broads.

/i just wanted to say slam pieces for once
//how did i do?


Hey, chicks don't like it when you call them slam pieces.
 
2014-05-25 03:47:12 PM  
At first, I was like 'this guy's from Boston, everyone from Boston's an arsehole.'

And then I remembered that I have a pudgy ginger friend who's from Boston and has plenty of success with women and is currently dating a very attractive, nice, millionaire.

Generally speaking, though, a few of these are fine.

Number 4 (challenge her to something silly) and Number 10 (accusing her of hitting on you) are fine.

Whatever.

I was having a heart to heart with my roommate. He was all 'Brett, why don't we have girlfriends?' And I was all 'when was the last time you asked a girl out?' and he hadn't done it.  Within a few months, we both had girlfriends after being like 'oh, we should ask a girl out if we like her.'


The main thing about PUA and all that crap is that it forces you to actually ask girls out. So, yes, going from not asking girls out to asking them out is going to increase your success.

Talk to girls and be someone they like to be around (which depends on what kind of girl they are). Don't be creepy. At some point ask them out on a date. It's as simple as that.

Anyone who says differently is selling something.
 
2014-05-25 03:48:13 PM  

bingethinker: Rapmaster2000: Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.

Slam pieces don't like it when you call them broads.

/i just wanted to say slam pieces for once
//how did i do?

Hey, chicks don't like it when you call them slam pieces.


"coont" usually brings them in droves. So does "beetches", "hos", "twats"...
 
2014-05-25 03:48:40 PM  

bingethinker: Rapmaster2000: Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.

Slam pieces don't like it when you call them broads.

/i just wanted to say slam pieces for once
//how did i do?

Hey, chicks don't like it when you call them slam pieces.


If there's been one downside to being a farker it's that I learned of the existence of the term "slam-piece."
 
2014-05-25 03:50:00 PM  

bingethinker: Rapmaster2000: Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.

Slam pieces don't like it when you call them broads.

/i just wanted to say slam pieces for once
//how did i do?

Hey, chicks don't like it when you call them slam pieces.


Cum dumpsters don't like it when you call them chicks or slam pieces.
 
2014-05-25 03:50:25 PM  

Anderson's Pooper: bingethinker: Rapmaster2000: Mark Ratner: I just whip out my wrecking ball of a dick, and the broads just fall over with their legs in the air.

Slam pieces don't like it when you call them broads.

/i just wanted to say slam pieces for once
//how did i do?

Hey, chicks don't like it when you call them slam pieces.

If there's been one downside to being a farker it's that I learned of the existence of the term "slam-piece."


What about "sprocket socket"? "Dick hole"? "Ass" (as in, hot piece of?)
 
2014-05-25 03:51:42 PM  

thespindrifter: Ah, the treasured "Neg'"... seems to work perfectly on all the non-lesbo feminazis with low self esteem, but exponentially so if you are 1) rich, 2) built like Dwayne Johnson, 3) all of the above.

imgs.xkcd.com


There's an xkcd for every Fark thread.
 
2014-05-25 03:52:20 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-25 03:52:31 PM  
Got some Elliot Rodger's in this thread. That pickup advice was ok, you just see it as bad when you imagine yourself saying it.
 
2014-05-25 03:55:43 PM  
In college I was trying to get with this girl, I was nice, polite all that.  Didn't get the time of day.  The second I stopped showing attention she was all over me.  Figured I needed to change my game on this with her, not to say I was a dick to her, because so many guys see girls with only jerks (maybe some are i don't know), but for her I think she was so used to guys doing everything, letting her have all the decisions.  Where as I told her no on some things, I took the lead which I guess was exotic to her.
 
2014-05-25 03:55:56 PM  

sweatybronson: Talk to girls and be someone they like to be around (which depends on what kind of girl they are). Don't be creepy. At some point ask them out on a date. It's as simple as that.

Anyone who says differently is selling something.


That's sales 101: Ask for the sale.

Now if you want to get advanced, you can go to the presumptive sale.  This is the equivalent of asking whether someone would like it in a paper or plastic bag, on the assumption that it's a done deal.  Like asking, would you prefer to go to dinner or a movie when we go out?,without having actually asked her if she was interested in going out.
 
2014-05-25 03:58:51 PM  
This sounds like a list compiled by one of those douches who teach the How to pick up women classes at the  Learning Annex

Ask her about her father. If she says anything positive MOVE ON!
 
2014-05-25 03:59:17 PM  

ciberido: thespindrifter: Ah, the treasured "Neg'"... seems to work perfectly on all the non-lesbo feminazis with low self esteem, but exponentially so if you are 1) rich, 2) built like Dwayne Johnson, 3) all of the above.



There's an xkcd for every Fark thread.


Too bad the percentage of women who could actually be smart enough to pull that off is so substantially small that it pretty much never happens in real life. That cartoon right there is nothing more than a Joss Wheadon "Ass kicking hot chick" absurdist fantasy.

If that were even remotely real, the club and bar 'scene' would disappear overnight. The reason why abusive assholes continue to exist is because women love it. Betas finish last, and Alphas win by basically using this exact ploy.

The real trick is to find the middle ground between being a sucker of a nice guy or turning into a tool. It's a rare skill.
 
2014-05-25 03:59:21 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: My reaction to each:

Fark you.
Fark you sideways.
With a rutabaga.
Yeah, because the most attractive thing is to hear how a guy could whip your ass if he wanted.  Might as well wear an A-Shirt, too.
I'm running out of ways to say Fark You, here.
Great advice if you're looking for a beard.
What a goddamn douchebag.
You're right.  I enjoy the company of men.
You're gay.  Which is fine - so am I.
Dream on, Studman.


Aw you're cute.  How's about you whip up an order of pancakes and we talk about how many babies you'll make me?

/I kid
//wants French toast instead
 
2014-05-25 03:59:43 PM  
Whether that line of BS works or not, the guy still has to live with being a douchebag his entire life, and the best girl he will ever be with is one stupid enough to sleep with a douchebag.

In my experience, certain types of girls actually are attracted to douchebags, but I don't want to be a douchebag, and I don't want to attract those types of girls. They are stupid and have no self-esteem. At best they are needy, energy-draining emotional black holes who deserve pity, but guys I know who were "successful" with such tactics have ended up with stalkers, attacked with scissors, had their possessions thrown out of windows, etc.

I guess they deserved it for being douchebags though.
 
2014-05-25 04:00:07 PM  
Offer her something activity-focused: "Hey, you wanna come and help me bury what I drug out of here last night?"
 
2014-05-25 04:02:12 PM  
These only work if you remember to take the t-tops out of your Camaro so you can yell them at girls with your Mr. Microphone. Chicks dig that shiat.
 
2014-05-25 04:02:14 PM  
I have gay male friends that act exactly like his list (most of it, anyway).

Let's have a dance off!
 
2014-05-25 04:03:18 PM  
I bet whoever wrote that "article" has to be at the gym in 26 minutes...
 
2014-05-25 04:03:52 PM  

sweatybronson: Don't be creepy.


Funny how seldom a girl sees a guy she's attracted to as creepy, no matter what everyone else is saying.
And for the girls that this neg stuff works on, if you are rich, buff, or have figured out what cologne her daddy wears, you won't be creepy to her.
 
2014-05-25 04:04:24 PM  
What is wrong with roofies?
 
2014-05-25 04:04:50 PM  
Wow, I don't even know where to begin. This kind of shallow, trite "advice" sounds like it's straight out of a high school locker room.

What ever happened to treating women (whether you're interested in them romantically or not) like human beings? There's no friggin' formula for romance. It boils down to whether or not you actually give a crap.

Mean-spirited, but I hope the article writer is incapable of reproduction.
 
2014-05-25 04:04:52 PM  

Benevolent Misanthrope: My reaction to each:

Fark you.
Fark you sideways.
With a rutabaga.
Yeah, because the most attractive thing is to hear how a guy could whip your ass if he wanted.  Might as well wear an A-Shirt, too.
I'm running out of ways to say Fark You, here.
Great advice if you're looking for a beard.
What a goddamn douchebag.
You're right.  I enjoy the company of men.
You're gay.  Which is fine - so am I.
Dream on, Studman.


Ok. Just read the article.


There is no way that is real.

I'm also confused as to who the recipient should be; some of those 'lines' might, just might work in a relationship, but not as pick ups, some might work as pick ups to someone you know casually, but overall.....wth.
 
2014-05-25 04:05:15 PM  

Witness99: I have gay male friends that act exactly like his list (most of it, anyway).

Let's have a dance off!


Deep rooted gay culture is about use and abuse, which is why there is a strong overlap between the gay crowd & the Sadomasochist lifestyle. LOTS of daddy issues, low self esteem, and generally abusive behavior. It's sad to see.
 
2014-05-25 04:06:51 PM  

W_Scarlet: Wow, I don't even know where to begin. This kind of shallow, trite "advice" sounds like it's straight out of a high school locker room.

What ever happened to treating women (whether you're interested in them romantically or not) like human beings? There's no friggin' formula for romance. It boils down to whether or not you actually give a crap.

Mean-spirited, but I hope the article writer is incapable of reproduction.


Romance?? This has nothing to do about romance. It's about wolves looking for tasty sheep. Romance never enters into the picture with this type.
 
2014-05-25 04:08:06 PM  
"A+++ Website, would log in again"--E. Rodger, Santa Barbara CA
 
2014-05-25 04:08:27 PM  
Man, the internet is so binary, so 0 and 1, so wonderful/horrible. Some gentle teasing or a funny remark that's not sexist or offensive is not the same thing as "negging". Show some humor, some personality, something to set you apart from that group of losers sitting there staring at her like she's a piece of meat.
 
2014-05-25 04:12:54 PM  

bingethinker: Man, the internet is so binary, so 0 and 1, so wonderful/horrible. Some gentle teasing or a funny remark that's not sexist or offensive is not the same thing as "negging". Show some humor, some personality, something to set you apart from that group of losers sitting there staring at her like she's a piece of meat.


People with personality don't pick up women in bars. They go out and live successful lives and probably already landed the girlfriends and wife they wanted by the end of college. People with personality don't go trolling; they sit back and let the good things come to them after proving they are the peak of desirability in other ways. The bar crowd is pretty much just assholes, wannabe Betas who don't know any better, and drunks.
 
2014-05-25 04:14:22 PM  
Or how about being yourself and not a fraud. Pretty pathetic to have to act or trick someone into liking you.
 
2014-05-25 04:15:11 PM  
It really isn't that hard guys. Follow the basic guidelines and you will be OK:

*practice good hygiene
*dress nice
*be polite
*have a huge schlong with warts on the tip
 
2014-05-25 04:15:45 PM  
This is a list of 10 ways to get friendzon'd
 
2014-05-25 04:15:46 PM  

audiblesmile: Or how about being yourself and not a fraud. Pretty pathetic to have to act or trick someone into liking you.


i.telegraph.co.uk
Approves.
 
2014-05-25 04:17:00 PM  
Someone should probably tell this guy that negging doesn't actually  work.  Sure, sometimes you'll still get laid, but it's more an "in spite of" thing where the woman is also there looking to get laid and she knows she won't have to put up with your annoying habits for more than a couple hours.

It'll rarely if ever  increase your chances, beyond just padding out the conversation a bit.
 
2014-05-25 04:22:32 PM  
No slam-pig? Fark, I am disappoint.
 
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