If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Orlando Sentinel)   Orlando Sentinel links to Breaking News that Six Flags is coming to Florida. Makes it lead story. Fails to read the linked article or the comments. Hey, at least they didn't quote The Onion. (but close)   (orlandosentinel.com) divider line 46
    More: Florida, Orlando Sentinel, PBS, Land law  
•       •       •

8662 clicks; posted to Main » on 25 May 2014 at 3:54 PM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-25 03:04:04 PM
Based upon the Six Flags experience in New Jersey aka Great Adventure (aka Gangsta Wonderland), I would hope that someone would open a Six Flags in Orlando.  They'd do gangbuster business.
 
2014-05-25 03:11:09 PM
Hey kids, we're goingto Florida for vacation!"

"Cool! Are we going to Universal where we can go in the Transformers and Harry Potter rides or Disney where you're going to drag us on that Star Wars and Indiana Jones shiat you're always trying to drag us to?"

"No, we're going to Six Flags! They have a ferris wheel!"

" -----".
 
2014-05-25 03:55:49 PM
Article has already been replaced with an apology for being an idiot.

Anyone get a screenshot?
 
2014-05-25 03:57:23 PM
i1182.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-25 03:57:45 PM

Prey4reign: Based upon the Six Flags experience in New Jersey aka Great Adventure (aka Gangsta Wonderland), I would hope that someone would open a Six Flags in Orlando.  They'd do gangbuster business.


My dad tells me the one in Atlanta is a place you don't want to be caught after dark.  I've been to the one in San Antonio recently and I thought I was going to get in the middle of a gang war.

And don't even get me started about the "security" as your enter the park.
 
2014-05-25 04:00:28 PM
Heed as a past tense verb? I like it.
 
2014-05-25 04:00:48 PM
Bad roll, You lose 5 CP(credibility points)
 
2014-05-25 04:01:30 PM

studebaker hoch: Article has already been replaced with an apology for being an idiot.

Anyone get a screenshot?


No, and the Wayback Machine doesn't have it, either.
 
2014-05-25 04:04:22 PM

ciberido: studebaker hoch: Article has already been replaced with an apology for being an idiot.

Anyone get a screenshot?

No, and the Wayback Machine doesn't have it, either.


not that hard if you RTFA

http://springhillcourier.com/2014/05/24/six-flags-confirms-plans-for -s pring-hill-park-to-open-in-2018/
 
2014-05-25 04:09:37 PM

Prey4reign: Based upon the Six Flags experience in New Jersey aka Great Adventure (aka Gangsta Wonderland), I would hope that someone would open a Six Flags in Orlando.  They'd do gangbuster business.


Based on my Great Adventure experience (circa 1980) and my Disney experience (circa 2000) I support bring Six Flags to Florida. But there is enough crap in Orlando already. Maybe stick it in the Vero Beach area or, at least, move it a bit east over to Cocoa.
 
2014-05-25 04:12:42 PM

Captain Steroid: [i1182.photobucket.com image 422x550]


What is that, and what's the story behind it?

/Stupid reverse Google Image search, all it produces is links to meme pages
 
2014-05-25 04:17:11 PM
I can't believe they chose Spring HIll.
Their are so many other locations that would have been better.
 
2014-05-25 04:18:28 PM
I love it.  Typical Slantinel.  The quote from the Six Flag's official saying they would decapitate the opposition like the kid that got his head knocked off at the Atlanta park raised no red flags.  Or the related article about the City Commission approving the Arby's for whites only.  Muuu ha ha.
 
2014-05-25 04:19:24 PM

eas81: ciberido: studebaker hoch: Article has already been replaced with an apology for being an idiot.

Anyone get a screenshot?

No, and the Wayback Machine doesn't have it, either.

not that hard if you RTFA

http://springhillcourier.com/2014/05/24/six-flags-confirms-plans-for -s pring-hill-park-to-open-in-2018/


You can tell the "reporter" read the first paragraph or so and ran with it.

If he had read farther...

Despite holding land rights and building permits and promising to "decapitate opposition like that kid who got in the way of the Batman Ride in Georgia," Six Flags Vice President of Development Andrew Ford said the battle is not over yet.

Classic.
 
2014-05-25 04:23:11 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: Captain Steroid: [i1182.photobucket.com image 422x550]

What is that, and what's the story behind it?

/Stupid reverse Google Image search, all it produces is links to meme pages


Looks like a cheap Chinese zippo knockoff that says "superman" but has a picture of Spider-Man.

Critical thinking - going out of style since the internets is here to tell us what to think.
 
2014-05-25 04:24:35 PM
"Fact-checking is hard!"

www.centralfloridafuture.com
 
2014-05-25 04:27:36 PM

Elegy: B.L.Z. Bub: Captain Steroid: [i1182.photobucket.com image 422x550]

What is that, and what's the story behind it?

/Stupid reverse Google Image search, all it produces is links to meme pages

Looks like a cheap Chinese zippo knockoff that says "superman" but has a picture of Spider-Man.

Critical thinking - going out of style since the internets is here to tell us what to think.


Thanks, I needed that pointed out. Dick. I asked WHAT IS IT, not what's engraved on it. Moron. Also, I don't smoke, so sue me for not knowing what a zippo looks like.
 
2014-05-25 04:27:49 PM

sxacho: Heed as a past tense verb? I like it.


Joins put / cut / hit / shiat / set and other ancient stubborn bahstahds.
 
2014-05-25 04:28:23 PM
Pulling a hoax on Florida?  Isn't that a bit too easy
 
2014-05-25 04:49:50 PM
Used to have season passes to the one in San Antonio, would alternate each year with Sea World. It was cleaner, not like dealing with going to a public pool. Kids liked it. But with the recent development in the area, sprawl and such, it became more like going into town, as opposed to being on the outskirts. Businesses want more development, after a while the people that can move away.
That commenter talking about a possible "gang war", let the minimum wage "security" handle it.
It was so much nicer when it was a recently converted gravel quarry. And there's only, last time I checked the UTSA bus goes out there. Not the LaCantera bus. They don't have a bus terminal at that mall, just a bus stop sign on the access road of 1604
 
2014-05-25 04:58:48 PM
Six Flags over Georgia great 40 years ago. What aweful place it's become.
 
2014-05-25 05:00:38 PM

TheOther: "Fact-checking is hard!"


Considering how often the entire Interwoven has been fooled at one point in time or another--and I include this august site--we should probably cut her some slack.

/she still won't sleep with me
 
2014-05-25 05:02:15 PM
s/interwoven/Interweb/
 
2014-05-25 05:06:20 PM

B.L.Z. Bub: Elegy: B.L.Z. Bub: Captain Steroid: [i1182.photobucket.com image 422x550]

What is that, and what's the story behind it?

/Stupid reverse Google Image search, all it produces is links to meme pages

Looks like a cheap Chinese zippo knockoff that says "superman" but has a picture of Spider-Man.

Critical thinking - going out of style since the internets is here to tell us what to think.

Thanks, I needed that pointed out. Dick. I asked WHAT IS IT, not what's engraved on it.


I didn't recognize the disconnect between the name and the superhero depicted.  I figured that the problem was that the artwork was really bad (his arms seems to be going through his thigh).  It was only after someone else pointed out that it said "Superman" rather than "Spiderman" that I saw the more obvious error.
 
2014-05-25 05:09:57 PM

SpeedyBB: sxacho: Heed as a past tense verb? I like it.

Joins put / cut / hit / shiat / set and other ancient stubborn bahstahds.


So far as I know, heed is regular, though I'm not using a super-authoritative source.  Am I missing something?
 
2014-05-25 05:15:14 PM
Why would someone hoax about something so mundane? I thought satire was supposed to be funny?
 
2014-05-25 05:23:30 PM

bighairyguy: Six Flags over Georgia great 40 years ago. What aweful place it's become.


I must be lucky.  Every time I've been there the park has been in great shape.  I can understand how going at the wrong time can lead to an entirely different experience.
 
2014-05-25 05:28:50 PM

fusillade762: Why would someone hoax about something so mundane? I thought satire was supposed to be funny?


Rumors about Six Flags coming to town happened when I was a teenager in the Florida Panhandle. I guess they've been around. Makes more sense in the Panhandle though, as there's not a theme park on every corner like in central Florida.
 
2014-05-25 05:36:36 PM

DigitalCoffee: Based on my Great Adventure experience (circa 1980) and my Disney experience (circa 2000) I support bring Six Flags to Florida. But there is enough crap in Orlando already. Maybe stick it in the Vero Beach area or, at least, move it a bit east over to Cocoa.


Cocoa?  The Lone Cabbage Fish Camp isn't enough already for you?
 
2014-05-25 05:48:23 PM
There's definitely a hierarchy of theme park experiences - it's not all about the rides.

Disney (clearly the best all-around experience)
Universal Studios (good, but a clear 2nd to Disney)

And a general tie for 3rd place (although Cedar Point's rides are worth it regardless of the park experience.)

Busch Gardens (great rides and good customer service)
Hershey Park
Cedar Fair (Cedar Point/King's Island & Dominion, Knott's Berry Farm / Dorney Park)
.....

And way down, at the bottom of the list, is ANY Six Flags Park. From the time you drive into the parking lot, to the time you leave, it's constant up-sell, disinterested park employees, completely un-related advertising and constant music videos in the lines, not to mention the (lack of) trained security dealing with the riffraff.

It's barely one rung above traveling carny.
 
2014-05-25 06:14:33 PM

Mulchpuppy: bighairyguy: Six Flags over Georgia great 40 years ago. What aweful place it's become.

I must be lucky.  Every time I've been there the park has been in great shape.  I can understand how going at the wrong time can lead to an entirely different experience.


I meant the experience.  They used to ferry you in from the parking lot, now it's an asphalt death march.  The one price for all meant that back then, now it's add-on cost after add-on cost.  Food costs are ridiculous now too.  The only team of employees I was impressed by was on the Great American Scream Machine.  They were a well oiled machine of efficiency and courtesy.  No one gave a damn.
 
2014-05-25 06:33:11 PM

dstanley: s/interwoven/Interweb/


Interwoven worked. I say happy accident.

I haven't been to a theme park since I went to Astroworld while candy-flipping back in '95. I see no point in going sober.

Let that be a lesson to you kids. Drugs can ruin something forever. Just say no!
 
2014-05-25 06:50:56 PM

TheOther: "Fact-checking is hard!"

[www.centralfloridafuture.com image 260x390]


What's this from?  I don't know this story.

/also, would hit it.
 
2014-05-25 07:49:23 PM

Confabulat: fusillade762: Why would someone hoax about something so mundane? I thought satire was supposed to be funny?

Rumors about Six Flags coming to town happened when I was a teenager in the Florida Panhandle. I guess they've been around. Makes more sense in the Panhandle though, as there's not a theme park on every corner like in central Florida.


Holy Land Experience doesn't count.  So it's every other corner.
 
2014-05-25 07:55:04 PM

studebaker hoch: Article has already been replaced with an apology for being an idiot.


Credit for apology rather than "404 not found"
 
2014-05-25 07:58:13 PM
Actually, a theme park like Six Flags wouldn't do bad in Orlando.  Universal and Disney are not exactly centered around traditional rides like ferris wheels, roller coasters, etc., even though they do have them.  They're kind of masked around their intellectual property.  The closest thing to Orlando like Six Flags is Busch Gardens in Tampa, and it's a nice change from the tourist coonts that infest Universal and Disney.

The most recent thing "Orlando" had like Six Flags was a place called Boardwalk & Baseball, but it was all the way the fark out in Lakeland or some other 3rd world hellhole, and suffered from few rides and high prices.  The concept was kind of neat, trying to capitalize on Jersey's shiat and baseball, which I totally don't farking care about, but some old farkers do still, I guess.

Truth is, I hate farking tourists.  I really don't give a damn if they live or die.  They come down here.  They steal our shiat.  Then they farking point and laugh at how farking retarded "we" are.  Never mind that the retarded shiat is always done by some heatstroked-out motherfarker from one of the iced-over states like Kentucky, Michigan, North Dakota or some other farking ice cave, who can't find the farking nut to deal with a temperature above 73.  "Oh Gladys, it's so hot, I don't know how they stand it down here."  fark you.  fark you and your inability to handle heat, motherfarker.  fark you, your herpes-ridden genitals, and your less-than-half-formed brains.  And really fark you if you're from Ontario, you traffic-inducing coonts.  You, tourist, are what's wrong with paradise.  Dexter had it wrong.  If that farking serial killer had a real conscience, he would have been slicing and dicing tourists along the shore like a Benihana hibachi chef.  And we, native Floridians, would have elected Dexter governor for doing it.  That's right.  farking Governor Morgan Dexter.  Bag of chopped remains in one hand, and the key to the governor's mansion in the other.  And to boot, we'd resurrect Ted Bundy for Lt. Governor to seek out new co-eds and destroy foreign infestations.  Why?  Because the tourists drove the natives here batty enough to elect Rick Scott for governor.  You think Floridians don't have a taste for blood now?  We bathe in the blood of old retirees and melt their skin into sunblock.

But really, I'd welcome Six Flags to Florida.
 
2014-05-25 08:33:06 PM
Orlando has everything else so why not another Theme park? Hopefully they actually put it in a decent location, nowhere near Downtown or North of Orlando, you simply can't drive on I-4 in that area.

Frankly I don't care, Traffic south of Disney is just fine, its just north of it that would probably kill this park before it even got off the ground, maybe somewhere off 417?
 
2014-05-25 08:49:26 PM
Jesus Farking Christ

Step away from the Internet.
 
2014-05-25 09:03:44 PM

Gunboat: TheOther: "Fact-checking is hard!"

[www.centralfloridafuture.com image 260x390]

What's this from?  I don't know this story.

/also, would hit it.


Adrienne Cutway - the editor responsible for the Orlando Sentinel posting that story - her name is on the retraction.
The pic is the one she chose when she became Editor In Chief of UCF's school paper website.

The Orlando job is apparently her first one in the 'Real World' and she just faceplanted with a spectacularity.  If her future at the NY Times is blotted, I'm sure Daily Fail or TMZ can use her.
 
2014-05-25 10:02:57 PM
There's been rumors of Six Flags coming to Spring Hill since 2005.

This "Courier" rag certainly reads like a local edition of The Onion for sure.
 
2014-05-26 01:17:12 AM
The average American is supposedly 640 Miles on Average from the closest Six Flags, best stats fir any national chain.  Haven't run into one without gang image problems...
 
2014-05-26 01:19:49 AM

Misconduc: Orlando has everything else so why not another Theme park? Hopefully they actually put it in a decent location, nowhere near Downtown or North of Orlando, you simply can't drive on I-4 in that area.

Frankly I don't care, Traffic south of Disney is just fine, its just north of it that would probably kill this park before it even got off the ground, maybe somewhere off 417?


The Lake Nona area would work. Big open land there with plenty of space to build a park, and far enough away from Universal/Disney/Seaworld to be viable.
 
2014-05-26 01:50:21 AM
Any park that offers season passes becomes a day care center.
 
2014-05-26 07:09:15 AM

kokomo61: And way down, at the bottom of the list, is ANY Six Flags Park. From the time you drive into the parking lot, to the time you leave, it's constant up-sell, disinterested park employees, completely un-related advertising and constant music videos in the lines, not to mention the (lack of) trained security dealing with the riffraff.

It's barely one rung above traveling carny.


Not sure if anyone even remembers that Six Flags did open a park in Hollywood back in the 1980's, called "Six Flags Atlantis" or something like that.  The name "Atlantis" does not begin to describe how far underwater that park was.

Theoretically, Six Flags is no longer in Chapter 11 bankruptcy, but if there is one thing that screams "entertainment", it is a bunch of accountants in distant cities trying to figure out how to cut operating costs.

Disney and Universal have made a few moves lately to squeeze more money out of each guest.  (For example they have RFID chips in the cups to make sure you don't refill your Coke more than once.)   Any theme park that can't squeeze $100 a day out of each visitor is going to fall behind.
 
2014-05-26 08:23:06 AM
Theme park hoaxes are a thing in Florida?
 
2014-05-26 09:44:34 PM

ciberido: SpeedyBB: sxacho: Heed as a past tense verb? I like it.

Joins put / cut / hit / shiat / set and other ancient stubborn bahstahds.

So far as I know, heed is regular, though I'm not using a super-authoritative source.  Am I missing something?


Some changes in language are relatively easy to bring about. The adoption of 'disappear' as a transitive verb, from the charming murderers of Latin America, for example. You can also use affected forms like 'shat' for the past tense of doo-doo, if you want to be arch, Arch.

Back formations, such as 'underwhelming', or 'He ain't got no couth'.

Wrenching the verbs into irregular forms? Have a go at it but don't expect the band to play along.
 
Displayed 46 of 46 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report