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(NASCAR)   Will the idols work for an extra hundred miles to ruin Jimmie Johnsons day? Will Kurt Busch make it to the track after Indy? Will Jeff Gordon be able to finish the race? This is your World 600 discussion thread. Race starts at 6pm EDT on Fox   (nascar.com) divider line 1173
    More: Interesting, Jimmie Johnson, Coca-Cola 600, Kurt Busch, Jeff Gordon, Indy  
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152 clicks; posted to Sports » on 25 May 2014 at 5:30 PM (21 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-25 01:27:51 AM  

Are you not sports entertained?

img.photobucket.com

And now its time for....

Your weekly NASCAR thread checklist. Just like the NASCAR rulebook; ever-changing and updated on the fly
(Created by DanZero & bluorangefyre, with contributions from Professor Farksworth, QueenMamaBee, Mzltplx, and a bunch of other Fark racing fans!)


1) Every 25th post is "DANICA," every 500th post is "CHECKERED FLAG!" and every 1,100th post is, "Screw the gredunza, I just did the double!"
2) Brian France asking "ARE YOU NOT SPORTS ENTERTAINED?" before the 10th post
3) Somebody comes in with a humorous "left/right turn/going in circles" comment
4) BOOGITY in some form when race starts
5) Idols/Buddhas/Transformers/Reactors being fired up
6) Complaints about TNT & ESPN race coverage (or if in TNT/ESPN coverage, how bad it is and how we pine for FOX again) ONLY VALID FOR 2014!
7) While we were away
8) Green flag pit stops
9) The inevitable race commentator foul up
10) Phantom cautions - pace dingo appears after two, Mr. McMahon appears if it benefits the driver of car #48 and/or the person who probably doesn't deserve to drive car #3, or sets up a closer finish
11) "Austin Dillon driving car number three... the number made famous by the late/great Dale Earnhardt."
12) MLP deployment ONLY in the following instances: sad Rainbow Dash when Princess Crumplefenders (AKA Danica) inevitably wrecks, happy Rainbow Dash if she's running in the top 20, charging Rainbow Dash if she's in the top 10, and whatever the evil pony is that is the sister of the queen pony if we need some extra mojo to help the idols and Buddhas defeat car #48
13) Complaints and such if Jimmie Johnson wins again and celebrations from his fan(s)
14) Race is official when Kvapil, Reutimann, Wise or Danica bring out the caution (can be more than one)... causes referee dog to be deployed
15) BONUS OFFICIAL RACE: Mikey brings out the yellow
16) Something to do with potato salad and/or sugar free gummi bears
17) SPECIAL BONUS: One of us is actually at the track
18) Something not meant to catch fire does
19) We are reminded about how a track is famous for The Big One/Darlington Stripe/Eating tires/Fuel Mileage races.
20) "Because #3 car"
21) Race is boring... what are you drinking?
22) "Lord baby Jesus, smite Logano's engine!"
23) Somebody asking why they don't run in the rain followed by a quick explaination why its not a good idea
24) "Nevermind that shiat, here comes Dick Trickle!"
25) DanZero's commercial recap from last week and running throughout the thread
 
2014-05-25 01:30:51 AM  
NASFARK TWITTER LIST! (Updated 05/12/2014)

bluorangefyre - @bluorangefyre
QueenMamaBee - @KyJockeyLuvr
Mztlplx - @tinfoil_fedora
Professor Farksworth - @TDA_wooo
Foaming - @EvanOlson

Again, if you have Twitter and would like to add your Twitter handle, please feel free!  Its small... freaky small.
 
2014-05-25 06:52:28 AM  
Anyone besides Busch trying the double header?  I remember Tony Stewart used to, and maybe Robbie Gordon.  Yeah, it's been awhile since I've really followed it.
 
2014-05-25 11:28:52 AM  
And for your dose of Irony today, guess who the driver of THIS CAR was.

images55.fotki.com
 
2014-05-25 01:16:54 PM  

Professor Farksworth: And for your dose of Irony today, guess who the driver of THIS CAR was.

[images55.fotki.com image 800x296]


Jeremy Mayfield.
 
2014-05-25 01:18:32 PM  

nekom: Anyone besides Busch trying the double header?  I remember Tony Stewart used to, and maybe Robbie Gordon.  Yeah, it's been awhile since I've really followed it.


Nope, just him.  Somebody is hoping he wins the 500 and Danica wins the 600.  If that happens, there'd be human sacrifices, dogs and cats living together... MASS HYSTERIA!
 
2014-05-25 03:39:34 PM  
Considering today's Monaco GP commentary team described an engine failure as "it done blowed up" will DW now be obligated to refer to it as "a sticky wicket for the lad's combustion?"
 
2014-05-25 04:03:36 PM  
I'm tempted to request a headline change to World 600 and see if anyone will notice.

/old skool
 
2014-05-25 04:24:49 PM  
Idols on full tonight, gentlemen.
 
2014-05-25 04:54:33 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Idols on full tonight, gentlemen.


Yes, after preventing some from setting off idols during the 500.

And, um... no, I won't spoil the surprise, but somebody here got something that'll help!  (No it wasn't me.

Warchild: I'm tempted to request a headline change to World 600 and see if anyone will notice.

/old skool


Doooooooo eeeeeeeeeeeettt!!!
 
2014-05-25 05:10:23 PM  

bluorangefyre: Professor Farksworth: And for your dose of Irony today, guess who the driver of THIS CAR was.

[images55.fotki.com image 800x296]

Jeremy Mayfield.


Indeed. The sports card shop down the street from me has a 1:24 of that car. He's actually got a ton of old 1:24s that he's holding for me including a Joker car, an old Casey Atwood #27 (When he was in the Busch Series and touted as the Next Big Thing), and one of the old Mello Yello cars.
 
2014-05-25 05:31:57 PM  
Awesome Admin is awesome.
 
2014-05-25 05:32:13 PM  
img.photobucket.com

img.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-25 05:32:38 PM  
Let's go Menard and Danica.

//@Ben_Deckos on the Twitter
 
2014-05-25 05:33:18 PM  

Warchild: Awesome Admin is awesome.


Now all we need is to somehow get NASFARK on the main page as a logo takeover one of these Sundays like the fWc had
 
2014-05-25 05:33:31 PM  
I hope Jeff can finish the race :( I didn't realize he was suffering back spasms! Poor guy.
 
2014-05-25 05:35:23 PM  
@nascarcasm

Kurt comes in on helicopter. Lands on front stretch. Gets out. Says "How's THAT for a driver intro, asshats?" Drops mic. Walks off.
 
2014-05-25 05:35:46 PM  
My Buddha was at a yoga retreat last week. he should be well rested.
 
2014-05-25 05:35:50 PM  
The Racing bar has been set purty high today. I may fall asleep before this ends.
 
2014-05-25 05:37:13 PM  

Warchild: Awesome Admin is awesome.


Good job!
 
2014-05-25 05:38:34 PM  
i205.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-25 05:38:51 PM  
Just to add to the idol powers:

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-25 05:39:53 PM  

DanZero: Now all we need is to somehow get NASFARK on the main page as a logo takeover one of these Sundays like the fWc had


You need to send suggestions like that in WAY ahead of time, especially on a holiday weekend. Most of the modmins that have that power are getting their stomachs pumped by now ;-)
 
2014-05-25 05:43:29 PM  

Warchild: Awesome Admin is awesome.


Woo hoo, thanks Awesome Admin!
 
2014-05-25 05:44:16 PM  
That girl is a great singer.
 
2014-05-25 05:45:11 PM  
That one girl with that cup song can actually sing pretty good. Glad she was able to beat cancer.
Mikey with his comments, I can't even.
 
2014-05-25 05:45:25 PM  
K Busch is doing an interview soon.  So did he make it in time for the driver's meeting?  Or is he starting last?
 
2014-05-25 05:46:16 PM  
Girlfriend just said "another race? I'm gonna go get a pedicure and pick up some beer for you"

No, you can't borrow her.
 
2014-05-25 05:46:27 PM  

Warchild: DanZero: Now all we need is to somehow get NASFARK on the main page as a logo takeover one of these Sundays like the fWc had

You need to send suggestions like that in WAY ahead of time, especially on a holiday weekend. Most of the modmins that have that power are getting their stomachs pumped by now ;-)


Yeah, I found that out this morning.  I'd procrastinated far too long designing it.  BUT the logo did get put on the Pacedog's wall for today.
 
2014-05-25 05:46:28 PM  
So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?
 
2014-05-25 05:47:28 PM  

Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?


Me... too bad I had to drop her from my fantasy team.
 
2014-05-25 05:47:29 PM  
Hello, NASFARK...

:: closes cooling vents..opens deuterium flow valve and starts circulation pumps..begins raising Co-60 rods from graphite moderator matrix...hits the St-90 pellet drop...opens liquid nitrogen optics supercoolant flow..targeting system active..waveform guides active..loading expended thorium pellet in rail ::

:: drops 10000 yen in shrine basket..bows politely and claps hands once..offers sake to the kamis and the Emperor ::

Kami-sama, 48 Kuruma wa utsukushi hono ni yotte shohi sa rete iru watashi no inori o fuyo shimasu. Arigato gozaimasu.

:: bows deeply and claps again ::
 
2014-05-25 05:47:45 PM  
It's the final race for the Spring session in the fantasy league as well.  Oh the excitement for the trophy avatar!!!
 
2014-05-25 05:48:00 PM  

Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?


o/

If it can't be Menard, I'd like to see Danica win.
 
2014-05-25 05:48:03 PM  

Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?


I wouldn't mind seeing her win. It seems like she's unlocked better equipment and it looks like she may have a shot this weekend.

Prepare though for it to cause bad things to Richard Petty.
 
2014-05-25 05:48:17 PM  

Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?


Did I say that? It's been a long day. Can't remember. I just want some lulz. And actually, she may be able to pull it off. The 600 is one of those odd ducks.
 
2014-05-25 05:48:35 PM  
Kurt talks to his tires, but he doesn't say anything we can put on the air.
 
2014-05-25 05:49:05 PM  

lifeboat: K Busch is doing an interview soon.  So did he make it in time for the driver's meeting?  Or is he starting last?


Starting last thanks to the clownshoes appearing in the last 50 laps at Indy.  Had that race stayed green, he'd have made the meeting.
 
2014-05-25 05:49:43 PM  
 
2014-05-25 05:49:49 PM  

Professor Farksworth: Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?

I wouldn't mind seeing her win. It seems like she's unlocked better equipment and it looks like she may have a shot this weekend.

Prepare though for it to cause bad things to Richard Petty.


Oh man. I'd like to see that old fart eat some crow.
 
2014-05-25 05:50:14 PM  

Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?


I'd love to see a good finish out of her
 
2014-05-25 05:50:28 PM  

Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?


I'd LOVE to see that Maximum trolling. JJ not in the Chase, Danica in... I can't even begin to tell you how much I'd like to see The King's face if that happens.
 
2014-05-25 05:51:08 PM  

lifeboat: K Busch is doing an interview soon.  So did he make it in time for the driver's meeting?  Or is he starting last?


He missed the meeting, so he's starting in the rear.

And that's what she said.
 
2014-05-25 05:51:12 PM  

crotchgrabber: Professor Farksworth: Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?

I wouldn't mind seeing her win. It seems like she's unlocked better equipment and it looks like she may have a shot this weekend.

Prepare though for it to cause bad things to Richard Petty.

Oh man. I'd like to see that old fart eat some crow.


I have this vision of Tony Stewart getting out of his car, walking straight up to Richard Petty and going "HA HA IN YOUR FACE OLD MAN!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" and then walking straight to Victory Lane with both fingers in the air.
 
2014-05-25 05:51:20 PM  
I want to see DammitLarson double up this weekend.
 
2014-05-25 05:51:41 PM  

Professor Farksworth: Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?

I wouldn't mind seeing her win. It seems like she's unlocked better equipment and it looks like she may have a shot this weekend.

Prepare though for it to cause bad things to Richard Petty.


Petty's comments earlier this season...displeased me.

Still...the most bad I can wish on him is a decent-sized plate of crow, especially after recent events.
 
2014-05-25 05:51:55 PM  
Just got to hear about JJ's pre-race whizzing. Wonderful.

crotchgrabber: Professor Farksworth: Prepare though for it to cause bad things to Richard Petty.

Oh man. I'd like to see that old fart eat some crow.


He'd know about unqualified drivers getting a ride in the Winston Cup. He's Kyle Petty's dad, right?
 
2014-05-25 05:52:15 PM  

Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?


I'd like to see her win.  I'm always a sucker for the underdog and that really seems to be her in this series.  Plus I want to see her get all watered down with champagne.
 
2014-05-25 05:53:05 PM  

Clutch2013: So...who besides me and Crotchgrabber are rooting for a Danica win, or at the very least, good Danica things to happen?


*waves*

It'll be as big a transformation as Wade Boggs going from E-5 personified to Golden Glove.

/shakes tiny fist at France for getting her on a well-equipped team
//will shake fist again if he pays for implants
 
2014-05-25 05:54:32 PM  
Does Stenhouse let Danica finish first?
 
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