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(Discover)   "For all of you unfortunate souls out there who have ever gotten your penis stuck in a PVC pipe, this is one scientific paper you don't want to miss. These doctors have come up with a simple solution to this everyday problem." Everyday?   (blogs.discovermagazine.com ) divider line
    More: Silly, pvc pipe, scientific papers  
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2269 clicks; posted to Geek » on 23 May 2014 at 2:51 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



37 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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Archived thread
 
2014-05-23 01:03:09 PM  
img.photobucket.com
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-05-23 01:20:40 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-23 01:40:36 PM  
I imagine everyday to a urological surgeon. If you get you dong stuck in a PVC pipe every day, you should try slowly increasing the gauge until that stops happening.
 
2014-05-23 02:54:05 PM  
Air compressor?

/dnrtfa
 
2014-05-23 02:55:35 PM  
Sometimes more than once a day...
 
2014-05-23 02:56:10 PM  
I knew this girl named PVC pipe because everybody was getting their dong stuck in her.
 
2014-05-23 02:56:30 PM  
Million to one shot, Doc.
 
2014-05-23 02:59:28 PM  
You're gonna want to establish at least two out of these three qualities before sticking your dick in things.

Warm/wet/hole

Just settling on one means you're going to have a bad time.
 
2014-05-23 02:59:48 PM  

nmrsnr: I imagine everyday to a urological surgeon. If you get you dong stuck in a PVC pipe every day, you should try slowly increasing the gauge until that stops happening.


Yep, I'd imagine some ER doctor was saying to himself. Whelp, this is the fourth one this WEEK. I guess I should post my method in a journal.
 
2014-05-23 03:02:33 PM  
I'm thinking Rosie O'Donnell bikini pics would solve this issue instantly, though permanent shrinkage may occur.
 
2014-05-23 03:03:06 PM  
I've done a few dumb things in my life, but I must confess I've never once had the urge to stick my dick in a pipe.
 
2014-05-23 03:06:23 PM  
No one wanted to be with me
Had to make my dream come true
I wanted to have something
I didn't know what to do
 
2014-05-23 03:08:10 PM  
Everyday? naw....only the ones that end in "Y"
 
2014-05-23 03:12:05 PM  
Dad's sage advice has served me well over the years, "Don't stick your dick in plumbing fixtures."
 
2014-05-23 03:20:25 PM  
Good to know.  Thanks, Fark!
 
2014-05-23 03:22:02 PM  

Old enough to know better: I've done a few dumb things in my life, but I must confess I've never once had the urge to stick my dick in a pipe.


I'll even go so far as to say that I've done a few dumb things with my dick, but never once have I managed something this dumb.
 
2014-05-23 03:24:23 PM  
Hey now if you haven't had a 1 1/4 sch 80 slip coupling with just a dab of plumbers grease.
You just ain't living man you just ain't living...

www.midlandhardware.com

OH yeah!
 
2014-05-23 03:37:43 PM  
I got to the words "hot-melt method to remove a constricted PVC pipe on the penis" and fainted.
 
2014-05-23 03:39:34 PM  
FTFA: hot melt

NOPE.
 
2014-05-23 03:40:16 PM  
DON'T JUDGE ME.
 
2014-05-23 04:02:26 PM  
Is it really true that Asians really have tiny penises?

The 2010 paper is behind a paywall http://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1743-6109.2010.02119.x/a b stract
Removal of a Long PVC Pipe Strangulated in the Penis by Hot-Melt Method

though here are some excerpts via: http://www.reddit.com/r/WTF/comments/hvz61/removal_of_a_long_pvc_pipe_ strangulated_in_the/

A 65-year-old Chinese man presented to the emergency department with a PVC pipe entrapment on his penis for 12 hours. The man inserted his penis into the PVC pipe for autoerotic purposes in the previous evening. Acute embarrassment kept him from reporting the details of the penile entrapment. Three hours before his arrival, the patient had experienced removal failures in three other hospitals. He had had dysuria for 4 hours. Physical examination showed that the glans was extraordinarily engorged and dark purplish with minimal sensation, but the skin was not erosive (Figure 1). The pipe encircled the penile base with enough penile swelling to prevent manipulation. The constricted PVC pipe was 26 mm externally, 20 mm internally, and 54 mm long. The body of the penis was 18 cm in length and 4 cm in diameter. A diagnosis of penile strangulation was made.
Figure 1 cannot be unseen.


I'm having problems figuring out how these dimensions go together

54 mm = 2.13 inches
26 mm = 1 inch
20 mm  = .79 inches
4 cm = 1.57 inches

The PVC appears to be 1" schedule 40 with a slightly substandard wall thickness. So the old man was wearing a 2 in collar of 1 inch PVC I guess.
 
2014-05-23 04:11:56 PM  
Every emergency room I know of has a swimming pool full of cold water reserved just for this purpose.  The technical term for the operation is "costanzination."  A physician is usually on-hand in case the person who brought the patient to the ER is female hasn't ever heard about the effects of immersion in cold water on the male genitalia.
 
2014-05-23 04:14:43 PM  
PIPEfarkERS

PIPEfarkERS INCORPORATED
 
2014-05-23 04:20:41 PM  
If you'd just stop mixing up the ID and the OD, this wouldn't happen.
 
2014-05-23 04:29:29 PM  
Let he who hath not stuck his penis in something regrettable cast the first stone.
 
2014-05-23 04:49:50 PM  

BumpInTheNight: Let he who hath not stuck his penis in something regrettable cast the first stone.


You're all in luck; I through like a girl!
Wait...does 'crazy' count?
Yeah, like I even need to ask...
 
2014-05-23 04:50:42 PM  

Hipjoint: Hey now if you haven't had a 1 1/4 sch 80 slip coupling with just a dab of plumbers grease.
You just ain't living man you just ain't living...

OH yeah!


Hey, darnit! Would you please link that pic NSFW? I almost just lost my job!
 
2014-05-23 04:55:53 PM  
Well, so much for the old ax method.

Remember how Dr. Hibbert removed the novelty disguise from Bart Simpson's face by sweating it off?

24.media.tumblr.com

Well, the ax method works on a similar principle. It is 1000% as effective as well.

When the guy sees the ax and the Doctor taking a couple of practice swings, his penis shrinks so small the object drops off. In fact, it may have to be coaxed out of his body. This works best for growers, but under duress even showers response well to treatment.

I'm making this up, of course, but I wouldn't be surprised to see a note in The Lancet or the NEJOM saying exactly this.
 
2014-05-23 05:05:21 PM  
I have a much easier way. Glue a cap onto the other end of the pipe. Drill a small hole in the cap. Spray in a quick squirt of WD40 and apply a lit match to the hole.
 
2014-05-23 05:10:51 PM  
Cant you just put air pressure on the other side?

Also cold water should shrink it down enough to slip out. I mean it fit in there after all.
 
2014-05-23 05:40:35 PM  
FTFA:   To our kn=-09876543wledge, it is the first report about the removal of PVC pipe entrapped on a penis.

I think someone was typing with their penis.

/Penis, Gord.
 
2014-05-23 05:50:35 PM  
when i was a teenager, the trick that my neighbours friends did was peanut butter on the dick and a dog, not pvc pipe.

/yuck
//never done it
 
2014-05-23 06:07:45 PM  

roger_lamothe: when i was a teenager, the trick that my neighbours friends did was peanut butter on the dick and a dog, not pvc pipe.

/yuck
//never done it


So how did the ER get the dick out of the dog, because I doubt the hot melt method was viable?
 
2014-05-23 06:09:07 PM  
Surely this is just a weekend thing...
 
2014-05-23 07:54:34 PM  
Who has not been walking around and spied an uncapped pipe sticking out from a building and thought,"you dirty, dirty whore-you're just asking for it!"
 
2014-05-24 09:16:25 AM  
Whatever happened to using a dremel tool with a cut-off wheel and splitting the pipe longitudinally?

I didn't read the article, but comment references to "Hot melt method" just seem stupid.
 
2014-05-24 10:37:24 AM  

Thingster: Whatever happened to using a dremel tool with a cut-off wheel and splitting the pipe longitudinally?

I didn't read the article, but comment references to "Hot melt method" just seem stupid.


Its not as bad as imagination might make it.  The melting was done be heating metal forceps, and greatly localized the zone where the heat was applied.  Additionally, enough heat to soften is as useful in this situation as full on melting, yet much more tolerable to human flesh.
 
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