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(Daily Mail)   If you are ever a Chinese baby and you fall out off a second-story window, just go real limp, because maybe people will try to catch you because, hey, free baby   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Scary, Chinese Baby, CCTV footage, Chinese  
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5535 clicks; posted to Main » on 23 May 2014 at 1:04 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-23 12:10:46 AM  
Wee-oh, Wee-oh, Wee-oh...
 
2014-05-23 01:04:48 AM  
depends, is it a boy?
 
2014-05-23 01:09:00 AM  

Just_a_Bear: depends, is it a boy?


Looks to be. I came in here to make a "if it was a girl, people would have stared as it turned into street pizza" joke, but looks like I've been beaten to it.
 
2014-05-23 01:12:36 AM  
Not shown: after he caught it, he did a touchdown dance, pulled a sharpie out of his sock, signed it, and then spiked it
 
2014-05-23 01:13:55 AM  
Ok jack..
 
2014-05-23 01:14:32 AM  
Or the person doing the catching is crushed by a baby who has a body that's 50% lead.
 
2014-05-23 01:21:04 AM  
one million points to subby!
 
2014-05-23 01:25:30 AM  
Didn't we see something similar before?

Are we sure that Chinese babies are 'falling' and not being thrown away?

/dammed meddlin' passersby
 
2014-05-23 01:30:57 AM  
What's up with the end of the article? A random lady presumed to be the mother just grabs him and runs away? What the hell?
 
2014-05-23 01:40:05 AM  
You'd have to pay me a whole lot to take a damn baby. There's no way I'm taking one for free.
 
2014-05-23 01:41:18 AM  
It's easy to sit there and say you'd like to have more money. And I guess that's what I like about it. It's easy. Just sitting there, rocking back and forth, wanting that money.
 
2014-05-23 01:44:42 AM  
Woulda made a better video had he missed.

/what?
 
2014-05-23 01:54:48 AM  

sandbar67: Not shown: after he caught it, he did a touchdown dance, pulled a sharpie out of his sock, signed it, and then spiked it


You sick sick bastard. I commend you for that one!
 
2014-05-23 01:57:11 AM  
If you drop your baby off a balcony let it go, man, because--- oh, never mind.
 
2014-05-23 02:00:24 AM  
That's a really Deep Thought, Subby.
 
2014-05-23 02:01:51 AM  
"Darn shame, people throwing away a perfectly good Oriental boy like that."
 
2014-05-23 02:02:02 AM  
While you have to rise up to the challenge in those moments, the thought of dropping the catch is not pleasant.
 
2014-05-23 02:03:07 AM  
"Heart-stopping moment passerby catches a baby after it slipped from second-story window ledge in pouring rain while looking for its mother in China."

No details in the story about why the baby has focused on China for the search!
 
2014-05-23 02:17:50 AM  
I can picture in my mind our world without war, our world without hate, and I can picture us attacking China because they'd never expect it.
 
2014-05-23 02:29:08 AM  
upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-05-23 03:03:18 AM  
Because if there's anything the Chinese need, it's more babies.
 
2014-05-23 03:05:58 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: [upload.wikimedia.org image 320x200]


YES!!!! I loved that game!
 
2014-05-23 03:57:37 AM  

Munchkin City Coroner: Because if there's anything the Chinese need, it's more babies.


You say that now but the Dim Sum cart is always out.
 
2014-05-23 04:00:17 AM  
www.guitarsite.com

"Damn, I should've been in China!"
 
2014-05-23 04:13:07 AM  
The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months warm, happy, and floating...you finish off as an orgasm.
 
2014-05-23 04:56:42 AM  

HotWingAgenda: The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What's that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you're too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you're young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months warm, happy, and floating...you finish off as an orgasm.


HotWingAgenda for President!

 
2014-05-23 06:09:44 AM  
I am sorry for their lots.
 
2014-05-23 06:19:59 AM  
If you're a Chinese person and your male baby ever falls out of a second story window just let it go, because man, it's gone
 
2014-05-23 06:27:40 AM  

TV's Vinnie: That's a really Deep Thought, Subby.


I'm glad I'm not the only one that thought it was a very Handey headline.
 
2014-05-23 06:29:15 AM  

kling_klang_bed: [www.guitarsite.com image 300x364]

"Damn, I should've been in China!"


You heartless basterd!!
 
2014-05-23 07:09:56 AM  

Just_a_Bear: depends, is it a boy?


If it was a girl they wouldn't have caught it.
 
2014-05-23 07:14:26 AM  
s28.postimg.org
Chinese baby?

Give him spoon.
 
2014-05-23 07:38:01 AM  

tokyogirl79: Just_a_Bear: depends, is it a boy?

Looks to be. I came in here to make a "if it was a girl, people would have stared as it turned into street pizza" joke, but looks like I've been beaten to it.


This is a common misconception. The Chinese don't hate girls. In fact, the average family would be thrilled if their neighbors had nothing but daughters, because that would increase the chance that THEIR SON would be able to find a bride.
 
2014-05-23 07:48:33 AM  
With the three day weekend coming up, maybe I'll try this. Thanks subby.
 
2014-05-23 08:08:06 AM  

Cubicle Jockey: This is a common misconception. The Chinese don't hate girls. In fact, the average family would be thrilled if their neighbors had nothing but daughters, because that would increase the chance that THEIR SON would be able to find a bride.


Not sure if serious- but hey, since we're talking about it, here's an excerpt from the wikipedia article on female infantcide in China:

From when the one-child policy was first proposed there were concerns that it would lead to an imbalance in the sex ratio, but although these concerns were not recognized by state officials, the concerns were proven to be well founded. Early in the 1980s, senior officials became increasingly concerned with reports of abandonment, and female infanticide, by parents who were desperate for a son.[4] In 1984, the government attempted to address the issue by adjusting the one-child policy to allow couples whose first child is a girl to have a second child.[4]
Estimates from 2005 were 1.1 million excess males countrywide and that males under twenty outnumbered females by an estimated 32 million. And according to some sources, evidence exists that the massive number of "missing women" is due to sex-selective abortion.


There's plenty of farkers who love to talk about how the world is overpopulated, and we should do something about it. Well, this is what it looks like.
 
2014-05-23 08:15:32 AM  
It's sad that a family can be torn apart by something as simple as a pack of wild dogs.
 
2014-05-23 08:23:56 AM  

dfenstrate: Cubicle Jockey: This is a common misconception. The Chinese don't hate girls. In fact, the average family would be thrilled if their neighbors had nothing but daughters, because that would increase the chance that THEIR SON would be able to find a bride.

Not sure if serious- but hey, since we're talking about it, here's an excerpt from the wikipedia article on female infantcide in China:

From when the one-child policy was first proposed there were concerns that it would lead to an imbalance in the sex ratio, but although these concerns were not recognized by state officials, the concerns were proven to be well founded. Early in the 1980s, senior officials became increasingly concerned with reports of abandonment, and female infanticide, by parents who were desperate for a son.[4] In 1984, the government attempted to address the issue by adjusting the one-child policy to allow couples whose first child is a girl to have a second child.[4]
Estimates from 2005 were 1.1 million excess males countrywide and that males under twenty outnumbered females by an estimated 32 million. And according to some sources, evidence exists that the massive number of "missing women" is due to sex-selective abortion.

There's plenty of farkers who love to talk about how the world is overpopulated, and we should do something about it. Well, this is what it looks like.


Yup... It's not that big a problem in the cities, but in rural China, girls are seen as unwanted because they're (a) seen as less useful on the farm and (b)expensive, because of how much the family has to pay to marry her off. Because of this, the Chinese government has slackened the one- child policy for rural areas: if your first one's a girl, you're allowed to have a second baby. They're basically hoping that the odds game will reduce the sex- selective abortions/ female infanticides.
 
2014-05-23 08:41:46 AM  
I hear the going rate is a swap for one of them ducks they always have hanging in shop windows.
 
2014-05-23 08:58:29 AM  
Poor form, one of those two guys should have "called it."
 
2014-05-23 09:50:24 AM  
Mike O'Connell is very interested
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2gFvk2PKYV0
 
2014-05-23 09:57:14 AM  

Ker_Thwap: Poor form, one of those two guys should have "called it."


Also, someone is all like, hey, you're trying to catch a baby? Maybe if I put some cardboard and other debris at your feet that will help.
 
2014-05-23 10:04:48 AM  
Looks like other people made it harder for him by putting a bunch of shiat in his way.
 
2014-05-23 10:11:17 AM  
Is Subby Jack Handy?
 
2014-05-23 10:17:54 AM  
Did the baby fall, or does it work at one of those factories and just decided to jump off the roof?
 
2014-05-23 10:22:35 AM  
Decent headline, but I think you could have worked in the word "because" a few more times.
 
2014-05-23 10:26:34 AM  

dfenstrate: Cubicle Jockey: This is a common misconception. The Chinese don't hate girls. In fact, the average family would be thrilled if their neighbors had nothing but daughters, because that would increase the chance that THEIR SON would be able to find a bride.

Not sure if serious- but hey, since we're talking about it, here's an excerpt from the wikipedia article on female infantcide in China:

From when the one-child policy was first proposed there were concerns that it would lead to an imbalance in the sex ratio, but although these concerns were not recognized by state officials, the concerns were proven to be well founded. Early in the 1980s, senior officials became increasingly concerned with reports of abandonment, and female infanticide, by parents who were desperate for a son.[4] In 1984, the government attempted to address the issue by adjusting the one-child policy to allow couples whose first child is a girl to have a second child.[4]
Estimates from 2005 were 1.1 million excess males countrywide and that males under twenty outnumbered females by an estimated 32 million. And according to some sources, evidence exists that the massive number of "missing women" is due to sex-selective abortion.

There's plenty of farkers who love to talk about how the world is overpopulated, and we should do something about it. Well, this is what it looks like.


I'd like to point out that in a country of 1.35 billion people, that 32 million variance ends up being about a 2% disparity.

Almost statistically insignificant.
 
2014-05-23 10:57:33 AM  
Did he fall into a  barrel of ssssssssssssshaving cream?
 
2014-05-23 11:27:29 AM  
that was a great catch.  Seriously, someone needs to buy that guy a six pack.
 
2014-05-23 01:53:03 PM  
Too bad Little Wei-wei's nads were sucked into a black hole.
 
2014-05-23 07:10:16 PM  
img.fark.net

This one really is obscure:  Ghost Lantern.
 
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