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(Slate)   You're the FBI director. Congress just tasked you with hiring 2,000 cybercrime experts. Problem: everyone qualified for the job loves smoking the reefer. Solution: "They should go ahead and apply anyway"   (slate.com) divider line 69
    More: Spiffy, FBI, FBI director, James Comey, white-collar crimes  
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1896 clicks; posted to Politics » on 20 May 2014 at 6:18 PM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-20 04:27:07 PM
Reasonable.
 
2014-05-20 04:29:48 PM
 
2014-05-20 04:32:50 PM
Social conservatives are not having a good day.
 
2014-05-20 04:34:50 PM

clancifer: Social conservatives are not having a good day.


Which makes it a great day for the rest of the world.
 
2014-05-20 04:36:48 PM
I don't smoke pot and I'm a cybercrime expert*. Where do I apply?

*ok, not really, but I do visit a LOT of web sites.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2014-05-20 04:56:22 PM
I worked for the IT group in a large telecom company. The CTO mentioned that corporate had plans to drug test everyone, ostensibly because of some compliance with something or another.

The director of our group stood up and said, "They do realize that they'll have to fire about 80% of their IT staff, myself included, right?"  Then our division's VP started going on about how they ought to think this through again, hiring good people is hard, they have a great team, maybe corporate is being slightly short-sighted, etc.

The idea of drug testing was never mentioned again.
 
2014-05-20 05:06:37 PM

Because People in power are Stupid: Here's the Joe Friday speech relevant to this discussion.

[img.sharetv.com image 250x189]


Heh, acid capsules and sticks of marijuana. I'M ON THE HASH!!
 
2014-05-20 05:14:11 PM

Barfmaker: Because People in power are Stupid: Here's the Joe Friday speech relevant to this discussion.

[img.sharetv.com image 250x189]

Heh, acid capsules and sticks of marijuana. I'M ON THE HASH!!


Marijuana's the flame, heroin's the fuse, LSD's the bomb.
 
2014-05-20 05:19:22 PM

wee: I worked for the IT group in a large telecom company. The CTO mentioned that corporate had plans to drug test everyone, ostensibly because of some compliance with something or another.

The director of our group stood up and said, "They do realize that they'll have to fire about 80% of their IT staff, myself included, right?"  Then our division's VP started going on about how they ought to think this through again, hiring good people is hard, they have a great team, maybe corporate is being slightly short-sighted, etc.

The idea of drug testing was never mentioned again.


Same thing at radio stations. If they tested, they wouldn't have anybody working there.
 
wee [TotalFark]
2014-05-20 05:41:47 PM

Bob Falfa: Same thing at radio stations. If they tested, they wouldn't have anybody working there.


I imagine so.  And nobody to hire to take their place!

I thought it was fairly interesting that they're finally now grasping that smoking weed at home has fark-all to do with how good at your job you are.  And that sudden realization that most of your guys (or guys you want to hire, in this case) smoke pot, like that was a huge mystery, is funny to see.

But anyway, I can see the cause for drug testing pilots, bus drivers, air traffic controllers or whatever.  But a network security guy?  A production manager at a radio station?  Pffft.
 
2014-05-20 05:44:05 PM

Marijuana's the flame

heroin's the fuse

LSD's the bomb.


This needs to be put on a T-Shirt
 
2014-05-20 06:06:26 PM
"Spiffy"? More like "SPLIFFY", amirite?
 
2014-05-20 06:08:23 PM

wee: Bob Falfa: Same thing at radio stations. If they tested, they wouldn't have anybody working there.

I imagine so.  And nobody to hire to take their place!

I thought it was fairly interesting that they're finally now grasping that smoking weed at home has fark-all to do with how good at your job you are.  And that sudden realization that most of your guys (or guys you want to hire, in this case) smoke pot, like that was a huge mystery, is funny to see.

But anyway, I can see the cause for drug testing pilots, bus drivers, air traffic controllers or whatever.  But a network security guy?  A production manager at a radio station?  Pffft.


Yup. I can guarantee I have woken up with alcohol in my bloodstream driven a company car to work, and begun my workday with no issues.
 
2014-05-20 06:08:28 PM
"I'll catch the bad guys like Tuesday and shiat."

(just kidding, the best software engineer in our group was a huge pot head)
 
2014-05-20 06:15:32 PM
Meanwhile being sloshed 24/7 is still perfectly fine.
 
2014-05-20 06:27:01 PM
Where is the "SPLIFFY" tag?
 
2014-05-20 06:30:33 PM
I was actually tempted to apply for this the other day. No reefer for me, anyway. But it would involve a lot of testifying in court, which I probably wouldn't be great at.
 
2014-05-20 06:33:04 PM

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Meanwhile being sloshed 24/7 is still perfectly fine.


I wish you could tell my boss that.
 
2014-05-20 06:33:48 PM
Couldn't they just apply without going ahead?  The two don't seem related
 
2014-05-20 06:35:15 PM
And nothing was done about it and it was just too bad for the FBI and their latent issues.
 
2014-05-20 06:35:45 PM
Shouldn't the tag read "SPLIFFY"?
 
2014-05-20 06:36:12 PM

clancifer: Social conservatives are not having a good day.


That's what happens when you try to control people.  Sooner or later they'll turn on you.  The left needs to keep that in mind as well
 
2014-05-20 06:38:23 PM
Good. More people need to stand up and refuse to work for places that drug test. I couldn't be happier with our CEO in that regard, he has told multiple clients to get farked when they tried to specify anyone who touches their stuff needs to be drug tested. I've blatantly told my boss that if they ever try to institute random drug testing I will quit immediately and not transfer any knowledge to anyone in the company about anything I've been working on.
 
2014-05-20 06:39:23 PM
I blame W. R. Hearst.
 
2014-05-20 06:39:32 PM
This is going to come to a head at some point. More and more localities are becoming more liberal when it comes to pot. Because of this, more and more employers seem to be requiring drug testing, which is inherently biased against pot smokers. I think when it comes to a head, the pot smokers will win just because employers will start losing their best employees.
 
2014-05-20 06:39:50 PM

Communist_Manifesto: Good. More people need to stand up and refuse to work for places that drug test. I couldn't be happier with our CEO in that regard, he has told multiple clients to get farked when they tried to specify anyone who touches their stuff needs to be drug tested. I've blatantly told my boss that if they ever try to institute random drug testing I will quit immediately and not transfer any knowledge to anyone in the company about anything I've been working on.


You sound just like the stable productive employee every manager strives to have.
 
2014-05-20 06:42:53 PM

Communist_Manifesto: Good. More people need to stand up and refuse to work for places that drug test. I couldn't be happier with our CEO in that regard, he has told multiple clients to get farked when they tried to specify anyone who touches their stuff needs to be drug tested. I've blatantly told my boss that if they ever try to institute random drug testing I will quit immediately and not transfer any knowledge to anyone in the company about anything I've been working on.


A friend's employer has suddenly come under fire for not having drug testing, which is required for state licensing. Even though the main director is against it, they will implement it. The employees were kind of discussing a revolt, but what would that accomplish? They'd lose their jobs and then what? The state will stop requiring it for licensing? Damned near everyone that works there smokes pot at least occasionally.
 
2014-05-20 06:43:45 PM
Is it just me, or does anybody else know a ton of weed-smoking computer nerds who are also Libertarians?  Doing a quick head count, I came up with 7.

It shouldn't make a difference if they're qualified for the job, but I'd think twice before handing them classified papers.
 
2014-05-20 06:45:01 PM

gingerjet: Communist_Manifesto: Good. More people need to stand up and refuse to work for places that drug test. I couldn't be happier with our CEO in that regard, he has told multiple clients to get farked when they tried to specify anyone who touches their stuff needs to be drug tested. I've blatantly told my boss that if they ever try to institute random drug testing I will quit immediately and not transfer any knowledge to anyone in the company about anything I've been working on.

You sound just like the stable productive employee every manager strives to have.


Well I show up about 15 minutes early every day and stay a couple minutes late usually. I've been here for six years and have only called out sick twice, once when I tore my acl and once when I broke my ankle. I've also almost tripled my income since I started because of the continuous raises I get for outstanding performance so I would say your assessment is pretty spot on. I also have come into work high on marijuana almost every single one of those days.
 
2014-05-20 06:46:06 PM

Mugato: Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Meanwhile being sloshed 24/7 is still perfectly fine.

I wish you could tell my boss that.


Clearly you aren't in upper management.
 
2014-05-20 06:47:11 PM

Zerochance: Is it just me, or does anybody else know a ton of weed-smoking computer nerds who are also Libertarians?  Doing a quick head count, I came up with 7.

It shouldn't make a difference if they're qualified for the job, but I'd think twice before handing them classified papers.


Handing libertarians anything classified may not be a good idea if the information is being used to harm the life, liberty or property of others through fraud or force.  They, we, I, etc. just might find a way to get that information out.
 
2014-05-20 06:47:36 PM
I felt a disturbance in the force

As if hundreds of possible job applicants interviewed,

and were suddenly arrested.

/its a tarp
 
2014-05-20 06:48:02 PM
FTFA:  "On the one hand it seems like we should want the absolute best people working on national issues of cybersecurity. On the other hand if they're gonna be high all the time (because recreational drug users always show up to work high, right?) their sense of urgency may be kind of off."

Oh FFS.  You can only be "high all the time"?

Butthurt conservative detected.

I think there's a form they can fill out - I think Obamacare covers that - falls under anxiety attacks.  I think it's a cream they hand out or some maybe they prescribe some medical MJ to make them chill the fark out.
 
2014-05-20 06:49:17 PM

jigger: Communist_Manifesto: Good. More people need to stand up and refuse to work for places that drug test. I couldn't be happier with our CEO in that regard, he has told multiple clients to get farked when they tried to specify anyone who touches their stuff needs to be drug tested. I've blatantly told my boss that if they ever try to institute random drug testing I will quit immediately and not transfer any knowledge to anyone in the company about anything I've been working on.

A friend's employer has suddenly come under fire for not having drug testing, which is required for state licensing. Even though the main director is against it, they will implement it. The employees were kind of discussing a revolt, but what would that accomplish? They'd lose their jobs and then what? The state will stop requiring it for licensing? Damned near everyone that works there smokes pot at least occasionally.


It could have stopped the state from requiring it if they were able to get a critical mass of other employees in the industry to participate but I admit that's far fetched as it would be very easy to label them negatively since they were fighting "for  drugs". It's not a good position to be in for sure especially if you can't risk losing your job. It sucks that its come to the point where you either have to take huge risks for something as trivial as wanting to smoke pot but here we are. Unless people start standing up against it we're just going to continue to get bent further over and told to like it.
 
2014-05-20 06:53:06 PM

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Mugato: Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Meanwhile being sloshed 24/7 is still perfectly fine.

I wish you could tell my boss that.

Clearly you aren't in upper management.


No, I work for a living.
 
2014-05-20 07:00:05 PM

jigger: Communist_Manifesto: Good. More people need to stand up and refuse to work for places that drug test. I couldn't be happier with our CEO in that regard, he has told multiple clients to get farked when they tried to specify anyone who touches their stuff needs to be drug tested. I've blatantly told my boss that if they ever try to institute random drug testing I will quit immediately and not transfer any knowledge to anyone in the company about anything I've been working on.

A friend's employer has suddenly come under fire for not having drug testing, which is required for state licensing. Even though the main director is against it, they will implement it. The employees were kind of discussing a revolt, but what would that accomplish? They'd lose their jobs and then what? The state will stop requiring it for licensing? Damned near everyone that works there smokes pot at least occasionally.


So they're required to  test for drugs.  Are they required to care about the results of those tests?  ;-)
 
2014-05-20 07:03:45 PM

Fish in a Barrel: jigger: Communist_Manifesto: Good. More people need to stand up and refuse to work for places that drug test. I couldn't be happier with our CEO in that regard, he has told multiple clients to get farked when they tried to specify anyone who touches their stuff needs to be drug tested. I've blatantly told my boss that if they ever try to institute random drug testing I will quit immediately and not transfer any knowledge to anyone in the company about anything I've been working on.

A friend's employer has suddenly come under fire for not having drug testing, which is required for state licensing. Even though the main director is against it, they will implement it. The employees were kind of discussing a revolt, but what would that accomplish? They'd lose their jobs and then what? The state will stop requiring it for licensing? Damned near everyone that works there smokes pot at least occasionally.

So they're required to  test for drugs.  Are they required to care about the results of those tests?  ;-)


Hmm, or maybe give all of the employees one of these before the test:
 shoppurplehaze.files.wordpress.com

/they all passed with flying colors maaaaan
 
2014-05-20 07:04:03 PM
easy peasy. all those Anonymous hackers and Silk Road guys?

Hire 'em. Put 'em on the payroll.
 
2014-05-20 07:05:22 PM
I'm glad I live in a land where "freedom" means it's illegal to test my bodily fluids without a damned good reason and where "cuz I'm your boss" isn't considered even close to a damn good reason.
 
2014-05-20 07:09:15 PM
It's an internal rule, not anything legal actually written into law.  They'll just issue a lot of waivers.
 
2014-05-20 07:11:56 PM

Communist_Manifesto: gingerjet: Communist_Manifesto: Good. More people need to stand up and refuse to work for places that drug test. I couldn't be happier with our CEO in that regard, he has told multiple clients to get farked when they tried to specify anyone who touches their stuff needs to be drug tested. I've blatantly told my boss that if they ever try to institute random drug testing I will quit immediately and not transfer any knowledge to anyone in the company about anything I've been working on.

You sound just like the stable productive employee every manager strives to have.

Well I show up about 15 minutes early every day and stay a couple minutes late usually. I've been here for six years and have only called out sick twice, once when I tore my acl and once when I broke my ankle. I've also almost tripled my income since I started because of the continuous raises I get for outstanding performance so I would say your assessment is pretty spot on. I also have come into work high on marijuana almost every single one of those days.


You sound eerily like me.
 
2014-05-20 07:18:30 PM

reveal101: Communist_Manifesto: gingerjet: Communist_Manifesto: Good. More people need to stand up and refuse to work for places that drug test. I couldn't be happier with our CEO in that regard, he has told multiple clients to get farked when they tried to specify anyone who touches their stuff needs to be drug tested. I've blatantly told my boss that if they ever try to institute random drug testing I will quit immediately and not transfer any knowledge to anyone in the company about anything I've been working on.

You sound just like the stable productive employee every manager strives to have.

Well I show up about 15 minutes early every day and stay a couple minutes late usually. I've been here for six years and have only called out sick twice, once when I tore my acl and once when I broke my ankle. I've also almost tripled my income since I started because of the continuous raises I get for outstanding performance so I would say your assessment is pretty spot on. I also have come into work high on marijuana almost every single one of those days.

You sound eerily like me.


Good to know I'm not the only one, internet brutha (or sista?) from anotha motha!
 
2014-05-20 07:22:44 PM
The Slaughter residence will be relieved

static.fjcdn.com
static.giantbomb.com
 
2014-05-20 07:27:19 PM

wee: I worked for the IT group in a large telecom company. The CTO mentioned that corporate had plans to drug test everyone, ostensibly because of some compliance with something or another.

The director of our group stood up and said, "They do realize that they'll have to fire about 80% of their IT staff, myself included, right?"  Then our division's VP started going on about how they ought to think this through again, hiring good people is hard, they have a great team, maybe corporate is being slightly short-sighted, etc.

The idea of drug testing was never mentioned again.


LOL!  Same thing happened at a former ISP I worked for. Seriously, everybody except the VPs smoked weed after hours, including all the engineers, techs, CSRs, managers.  The look of abject horror in the VPs faces was totally worth it.
 
2014-05-20 07:32:52 PM
"Cyber!"

I love that word. It's so 1993.
 
2014-05-20 07:33:28 PM
I was headhunted and accepted a job offer some 15 years ago. After accepting the job I was informed that I would have to be drug tested. I went to the drug testing facility, peed in the cup, and afterward told the GM that I would have to decline the job. I told them that I wouldn't work for a company that drug tested it's employees. I also told them that I waited until after I took the test so they would know for sure that I would have passed.

 I am the source of clean urine for all of my friends when they change jobs. It happens so often it isn't even awkward anymore.
 
2014-05-20 07:48:13 PM
Bunka chuh-chuh bunka chuh-chuh   We're jamminnnng.....were jamminnnngg!!

/got nothin'
 
2014-05-20 07:55:45 PM

Bob Falfa: wee: Bob Falfa: Same thing at radio stations. If they tested, they wouldn't have anybody working there.

I imagine so.  And nobody to hire to take their place!

I thought it was fairly interesting that they're finally now grasping that smoking weed at home has fark-all to do with how good at your job you are.  And that sudden realization that most of your guys (or guys you want to hire, in this case) smoke pot, like that was a huge mystery, is funny to see.

But anyway, I can see the cause for drug testing pilots, bus drivers, air traffic controllers or whatever.  But a network security guy?  A production manager at a radio station?  Pffft.

Yup. I can guarantee I have woken up with alcohol in my bloodstream driven a company car to work, and begun my workday with no issues.


Did you keep drinking at work though?
 
2014-05-20 08:01:52 PM
Rand Paul was question about the issue, he responded that he thought that there should be a "spliffy" tag.
 
2014-05-20 08:18:48 PM
I was a Producer at a very successful MMORPG developer. One year on 4/1, I sent an email out to the Dev Teams saying that our parent company was beginning a random drug test policy.

I nearly was fired.

In hindsight that was a dick prank.
 
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