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(Guardian)   "In states like Alabama and Georgia, you can openly carry a gun, but you can't purchase a butt plug without a prescription"   (theguardian.com) divider line 124
    More: Weird, Alabama, butt-plugs, Sandy Springs  
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2014-05-20 08:48:03 AM  
It's worse here in Alabama. You can't openly carry a butt plug either.

/How's that mental image working out for you this morning?
//Bubba wandering down the dirt road, pants down around his ankles, all plugged up?
 
2014-05-20 08:50:23 AM  

AirForceVet: You can't openly carry a butt plug either.


Well, it would sort of defeat the purpose, no?
 
2014-05-20 08:51:58 AM  
What if you make and sell a buttplug-shaped gun?
 
2014-05-20 08:53:18 AM  
Which is more dangerous when fully loaded?
 
2014-05-20 08:54:26 AM  
Is that a prescription buttplug?
 
2014-05-20 08:54:29 AM  
You can take my butt plug when you pry it from my cold dead anus.
 
2014-05-20 08:54:45 AM  
That's what the gun is for.
 
2014-05-20 08:55:13 AM  
I guess you could stick the gun up your butt.

The ensuing, lethal "one in a million shot, doc" stories on Fark would be worth it.
 
2014-05-20 08:55:58 AM  
A buttplug won't do you much good when the government decides to come and take you away...after listening  to the NSA transcripts of you supporting the wrong politicalxparty
 
2014-05-20 08:56:25 AM  
The buttplug black market must be huge. Or is it the black buttplug market?  Either way I doubt it ever sees the light of day.
 
2014-05-20 08:57:30 AM  
If only there were a magical series of tubes that one could obtain items through in exchange for currency...
 
2014-05-20 08:57:56 AM  

Lokkii: A buttplug won't do you much good when the government decides to come and take you away...after listening  to the NSA transcripts of you supporting the wrong politicalxparty


I fill mine with explosives juuust in case that happens.
 
2014-05-20 08:58:04 AM  
Spark plug?
 
2014-05-20 08:59:15 AM  
Is that a butt plug in your pocket, or are your pants on backwards?

/?
 
2014-05-20 08:59:30 AM  

Lokkii: A buttplug won't do you much good when the government decides to come and take you away...after listening  to the NSA transcripts of you supporting the wrong politicalxparty


Neither will a gun.
 
2014-05-20 09:00:50 AM  
The only thing that can stop a bad guy with a butt plug is a good guy with a butt plug.
 
2014-05-20 09:01:21 AM  

Lokkii: A buttplug won't do you much good when the government decides to come and take you away...after listening  to the NSA transcripts of you supporting the wrong politicalxparty


I really wish the evil liberal conspiracy would come true just to watch all the people that say things like this Tienanmen Square themselves with an AR-15 vs a M1A1 Abrams Battletank.
 
2014-05-20 09:02:12 AM  
When butt plugs are outlawed, only outlaws will have butt plugs...
 
2014-05-20 09:03:44 AM  
Then they came for the Butt Plug owners, and I did not speak out-
Because I was not a Butt Plug owner.
 
2014-05-20 09:03:57 AM  
How does one go about getting a butt plug prescription? Some of you deep south farkers must be able to tell us. Do you have to keep the prescription with the butt plug at all times? Are there laws about the size and shape of said prescribed butt plugs? I'm guessing getting caught with an unprescribed baby jesus butt plug is right out.
 
2014-05-20 09:03:57 AM  

Cleffer: If only there were a magical series of tubes that one could obtain items through in exchange for currency...


Maybe they don't have intertubes in Bumfark (so to speak) Georgia?
 
2014-05-20 09:04:12 AM  
This is a hugely misunderstood issue...the reality behind the sex-toy ban is that it's intended to boost support for local farmers, who produce sustainable, biodegradable faux phalli and earth-friendly plugs.
 
2014-05-20 09:05:51 AM  
Relax, Farkers. The biggest adult toy store I've ever visited is in Oxford, Alabama. These laws ain't exactly enforced with any consistency.
 
2014-05-20 09:07:33 AM  
Wait, if you need a script, does that mean pharmacies stock them behind the counter?
 
2014-05-20 09:07:57 AM  

Facetious_Speciest: This is a hugely misunderstood issue...the reality behind the sex-toy ban is that it's intended to boost support for local farmers, who produce sustainable, biodegradable faux phalli and earth-friendly plugs.


Turnips shaped like thingies?
 
2014-05-20 09:08:44 AM  
"In states like Alabama and Georgia, you can openly carry a gun, but you can't purchase a butt plug without a prescription"

To be fair, if a criminal were to break in to my house armed with one of those things I would be glad if he didn't have the butt plug.
 
2014-05-20 09:09:24 AM  

spiritplumber: What if you make and sell a buttplug-shaped gun?


You are a true entrepreneur.
 
2014-05-20 09:09:32 AM  

Facetious_Speciest: This is a hugely misunderstood issue...the reality behind the sex-toy ban is that it's intended to boost support for local farmers, who produce sustainable, biodegradable faux phalli and earth-friendly plugs.


I heard it was because back when you could get OTC buttplugs, people were buying them up and cooking them to make Crystal Plug.
 
2014-05-20 09:11:37 AM  
i.imgur.com

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-20 09:11:48 AM  

Incontinent_dog_and_monkey_rodeo: Facetious_Speciest: This is a hugely misunderstood issue...the reality behind the sex-toy ban is that it's intended to boost support for local farmers, who produce sustainable, biodegradable faux phalli and earth-friendly plugs.

Turnips shaped like thingies?


Those are OK.  But I only buy artisanal or heirloom butt plug produce.
 
2014-05-20 09:12:04 AM  

neongoats: ow does one go about getting a butt plug prescription?


Well, I read in one... blog... that some forms of butt plugs are used to prevent anal leakage, when you have used your orifice too much in ways that baby Jesus did not intend to.
 
2014-05-20 09:12:16 AM  

spickus: You can take my butt plug when you pry it from my cold dead anus.


Nothing else needs to be said here.
 
2014-05-20 09:12:53 AM  
Republican small government at its finest.

They stay small by opening up millions of satellite offices in your bedrooms.
 
2014-05-20 09:12:57 AM  

AirForceVet: It's worse here in Alabama. You can't openly carry a butt plug either.

/How's that mental image working out for you this morning?
//Bubba wandering down the dirt road, pants down around his ankles, all plugged up?


does it take a concealed butt-plug permit?
 
2014-05-20 09:13:28 AM  
www.amazingsuperpowers.com
 
2014-05-20 09:13:52 AM  

Facetious_Speciest: This is a hugely misunderstood issue...the reality behind the sex-toy ban is that it's intended to boost support for local farmers, who produce sustainable, biodegradable faux phalli and earth-friendly plugs.


It is the south so if going with local crops the choice is between tobacco and watermelon. Now we know why Clinton used a cigar on the fat chick. On a side note I am afraid to GIS watermelon butt plug
 
2014-05-20 09:16:54 AM  

cardex: Facetious_Speciest: This is a hugely misunderstood issue...the reality behind the sex-toy ban is that it's intended to boost support for local farmers, who produce sustainable, biodegradable faux phalli and earth-friendly plugs.

It is the south so if going with local crops the choice is between tobacco and watermelon. Now we know why Clinton used a cigar on the fat chick. On a side note I am afraid to GIS watermelon butt plug


You shouldn't be. There are some very flattering photos of your grandpa on there.
 
2014-05-20 09:18:14 AM  
As they see it, one sends you to hell, and the other sends someone else to hell.
 
2014-05-20 09:18:27 AM  

shortdarkandmeh: Relax, Farkers. The biggest adult toy store I've ever visited is in Oxford, Alabama. These laws ain't exactly enforced with any consistency.


So, this is a shiatty Law [no pun intended].
why have it on the book. A bad law (even if it is not enforced) is still a bad law.

Enforced, it is an affront and against human (sexual) rights
Unenforced it just makes your state(s) a laughing stock
 
2014-05-20 09:19:33 AM  

probesport: Spark plug?


BUTT  PLUG      BUTT PLUG!!!!    BUTTTTTT PLUUUUUGGGGGGGGG!!!!!
 
2014-05-20 09:19:56 AM  

Cleffer: If only there were a magical series of tubes that one could obtain items through in exchange for currency...


If only people could learn to mind their own farking business and keep their nose out of issues that have no direct impact on them.
 
2014-05-20 09:20:55 AM  

furterfan: shortdarkandmeh: Relax, Farkers. The biggest adult toy store I've ever visited is in Oxford, Alabama. These laws ain't exactly enforced with any consistency.

So, this is a shiatty Law [no pun intended].
why have it on the book. A bad law (even if it is not enforced) is still a bad law.

Enforced, it is an affront and against human (sexual) rights
Unenforced it just makes your state(s) a laughing stock


I agree 100%. To be fair, most states have bad/stupid laws on the books. It's legal to marry your cousin in New York. It is illegal to kill a whale in South Dakota.
 
2014-05-20 09:23:27 AM  

Lokkii: A buttplug won't do you much good when the government decides to come and take you away...after listening  to the NSA transcripts of you supporting the wrong politicalxparty


I got news for you, kiddo. Neither will a gun.
 
2014-05-20 09:24:34 AM  

neongoats: How does one go about getting a butt plug prescription? Some of you deep south farkers must be able to tell us. Do you have to keep the prescription with the butt plug at all times? Are there laws about the size and shape of said prescribed butt plugs? I'm guessing getting caught with an unprescribed baby jesus butt plug is right out.


I'm in Alabama.  The local sex-toy shop has had lots of trouble with harassment from law enforcement, but the owner gets around it every time.  Right now, the shop is branded as an "intimacy clinic."  So she can write "prescriptions" for whatever you want.  It doesn't say anywhere that the prescription has to be from a medical doctor.  Before that, she branded it as a "party decoration" shop...if you wanted a butt plug, you were out of luck...however, if you wanted a butt plug-shaped cake topper, bingo.
 
2014-05-20 09:25:00 AM  

shortdarkandmeh: cardex: Facetious_Speciest: This is a hugely misunderstood issue...the reality behind the sex-toy ban is that it's intended to boost support for local farmers, who produce sustainable, biodegradable faux phalli and earth-friendly plugs.

It is the south so if going with local crops the choice is between tobacco and watermelon. Now we know why Clinton used a cigar on the fat chick. On a side note I am afraid to GIS watermelon butt plug

You shouldn't be. There are some very flattering photos of your grandpa on there.


Are they from the party him and 2 of his friends had in the lemon room?
 
2014-05-20 09:26:02 AM  

Tyrosine: Cleffer: If only there were a magical series of tubes that one could obtain items through in exchange for currency...

If only people could learn to mind their own farking business and keep their nose out of issues that have no direct impact on them.


I always keep my nose out of other people's butt plugs.
 
2014-05-20 09:28:01 AM  
Am I really the first with this one: http://teamcoco.com/video/conan-highlight-jennifer-lawrence-sex-toys

/buttplug?
//no thanks
 
2014-05-20 09:28:40 AM  
Pretty sure they are legal here 1 state north of those 2. At least they have them in the ye olde pron stores.
 
2014-05-20 09:29:37 AM  
Sandy Springs did it to protect property values. It's  all about appearances. They know they can go a few miles down the road to Atlanta and buy all the sex toys they want. They get to have a lily white facade while still having convenient access to all their vices. It's the way things are in the suburbs. You pretend to be something you're not. Just look at all the houses with a complex looking but cheap brick facade on the front and tacky siding on the other three sides. The other big trend is for the city to buy up all the low income apartments, tear them down, and then after sitting on the property for a few years with vague promises of parks, sell it off to a developer. It gets "those people" to move down the road so you no longer have to live next to them but they're still close enough to work in stores... just not sex stores, because those all need to be across the border in those sinful nasty cities ruled by sinful nasty people. Oh, and make sure parking is in the back so no one sees me stopping by.
 
2014-05-20 09:30:37 AM  

cardex: shortdarkandmeh: cardex: Facetious_Speciest: This is a hugely misunderstood issue...the reality behind the sex-toy ban is that it's intended to boost support for local farmers, who produce sustainable, biodegradable faux phalli and earth-friendly plugs.

It is the south so if going with local crops the choice is between tobacco and watermelon. Now we know why Clinton used a cigar on the fat chick. On a side note I am afraid to GIS watermelon butt plug

You shouldn't be. There are some very flattering photos of your grandpa on there.

Are they from the party him and 2 of his friends had in the lemon room?


I like you...
 
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