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(Daily Mail)   Talos the mighty! Talos the unerring! Talos the unassailable! To you we give praise! We are but maggots, writhing in the filth of our own corruption! While you have ascended from the dung of mortality, and now have a crotch of bees   (dailymail.co.uk) divider line 53
    More: Amusing, Prime Minister of Malaysia, Topshop, Crete, statues  
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5500 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2014 at 6:01 PM (10 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



53 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-19 02:39:12 PM
Pretty stupid looking Talos statue.

Now *THIS* is a Talos statue:

4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-19 02:41:16 PM
media.tumblr.com

I got yer bee-catcher right here!
 
2014-05-19 02:57:59 PM
24.media.tumblr.com

Nope. Nope. Nope.
 
2014-05-19 05:22:54 PM
okay that headline was hilarious.  I can't be laughing this much at work!  They'll put me away.
 
2014-05-19 05:51:25 PM
i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-19 06:03:23 PM
Somebody has been playing WAY TOO MUCH Skyrim.
 
2014-05-19 06:03:39 PM
www.rockpapershotgun.com

/naughtyrev beat me to it :(
 
2014-05-19 06:06:06 PM

naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 351x216]


x1.fjcdn.com
 
2014-05-19 06:09:22 PM
That's a lot of nickels.
 
2014-05-19 06:09:46 PM
No, THIS is a statue of Talos.

images.mmorpg.com
 
2014-05-19 06:11:33 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-19 06:12:06 PM
That's neat!

It happened in my city when I was a kid to a statue of general James Wolfe in front of the planetarium. Except they managed to make a hive inside the statue somehow. It was really freaky, but also pretty cool.
 
2014-05-19 06:13:04 PM

Satanic_Hamster: No, THIS is a statue of Talos.

[images.mmorpg.com image 850x531]


*tiny fist*

I hated Talos Island, too.
 
2014-05-19 06:16:59 PM

Anastacya: *tiny fist*

I hated Talos Island, too.


Talos Island wishes it was half the man that Blyde Square was.
 
2014-05-19 06:17:52 PM
x2.fjcdn.com
 
2014-05-19 06:19:16 PM
tos.trekcore.com
 
2014-05-19 06:22:50 PM
Bees on my scrotum, fire in my eyes.
 
2014-05-19 06:24:47 PM
They call him Apisvakin.  Beeborn!
 
2014-05-19 06:32:38 PM

naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 351x216]


you win the interwebs
 
2014-05-19 06:35:34 PM

farkingismybusiness: naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 351x216]

[x1.fjcdn.com image 484x387]


Of all the non-hostile NPCs in all of Skyrim, that was the one that I was most tempted to kill.. EVERY. FARKING. TIME you passed him... GAH.
 
2014-05-19 06:36:38 PM
Why are those bees on his ass? Depends.
 
2014-05-19 06:43:13 PM
This made my day.
 
2014-05-19 06:54:17 PM

Oysterman: They call him Apisvakin.  Beeborn!


FUS RO BUZZZ!
 
2014-05-19 06:58:42 PM

farkingismybusiness: naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 351x216]


I have killed him in every single play through I've done in Skyrim. Once, during the siege of Whiterun, I broke down the barricade in front of his door, and knocked his head off with a Daedric war hammer. It actually caused everyone in town, including the Stormcloaks that I was fighting for, to turn against me so I ended up killing dozens of soldiers on both sides. Couldn't actually finish the quest because of it, but it was hilarious.
 
2014-05-19 07:02:01 PM
The Thalmor are asleep.  Post Talos.
 
2014-05-19 07:02:43 PM

ciberido: Oysterman: They call him Apisvakin.  Beeborn!

FUS RO BUZZZ!


BUZZ RO DAH!
 
2014-05-19 07:15:10 PM
Crotch of Bees will be my Hall and Oates cover band name.
 
2014-05-19 07:21:01 PM

SpdrJay: Crotch of Bees will be my Hall and Oates cover band name.


Sorry, you're out of touch with the cover band scene.  I'd explain, but I'm out of time.
 
2014-05-19 07:23:20 PM

naughtyrev: farkingismybusiness: naughtyrev: [i.imgur.com image 351x216]

I have killed him in every single play through I've done in Skyrim. Once, during the siege of Whiterun, I broke down the barricade in front of his door, and knocked his head off with a Daedric war hammer. It actually caused everyone in town, including the Stormcloaks that I was fighting for, to turn against me so I ended up killing dozens of soldiers on both sides. Couldn't actually finish the quest because of it, but it was hilarious.


He deserved it.
 
2014-05-19 07:26:15 PM
This asshole....

If you somehow missed the hint about the wood panel to get the damn sword...

www.elpixelilustre.com
 
2014-05-19 08:08:36 PM
I've never bothered killing him, since I figured he was probably somewhat insane.  Now, Belethor, on the other hand...
 
2014-05-19 08:16:36 PM

State_College_Arsonist: I've never bothered killing him, since I figured he was probably somewhat insane.  Now, Belethor, on the other hand...


"Do come back."
 
2014-05-19 08:17:18 PM
 
2014-05-19 08:19:19 PM
I dunno about Talos, but Bane, Bhaal and Myrkul are some sonsabiatches.
 
2014-05-19 08:30:25 PM
 
2014-05-19 08:30:44 PM

DontMakeMeComeBackThere: State_College_Arsonist: I've never bothered killing him, since I figured he was probably somewhat insane.  Now, Belethor, on the other hand...

"Do come back."


I put up with him because he was useful - he occasionally carried high-value useful stuff like soul gems, mundane jems like sapphires, rare ores (a silver ore once in a while adds up to lots of expensive, enchantable jewelry in the long run) and enchanted amulets. Then could buy any and everything you had on you to pay for it. Yes, I like to barter the Fallout 3 and New Vegas way.

Never killed the "TALOS!" preacher guy. Gave the town character to have some random loony yelling every time you're in the main square - someone you pretend to hate because it's cool but secretly amuses you greatly. He's the Rob Ford of Whiterun, only they weren't stupid enough to make him Jarl.
 
2014-05-19 08:48:45 PM

moogoob: DontMakeMeComeBackThere: State_College_Arsonist: I've never bothered killing him, since I figured he was probably somewhat insane.  Now, Belethor, on the other hand...

"Do come back."

I put up with him because he was useful - he occasionally carried high-value useful stuff like soul gems, mundane jems like sapphires, rare ores (a silver ore once in a while adds up to lots of expensive, enchantable jewelry in the long run) and enchanted amulets. Then could buy any and everything you had on you to pay for it. Yes, I like to barter the Fallout 3 and New Vegas way.

Never killed the "TALOS!" preacher guy. Gave the town character to have some random loony yelling every time you're in the main square - someone you pretend to hate because it's cool but secretly amuses you greatly. He's the Rob Ford of Whiterun, only they weren't stupid enough to make him Jarl.


Am I the only person who didn't slaughter towns wholesale?
 
2014-05-19 08:49:15 PM
This thread is a violation of the White-Gold Concordat. The proper authorities have been notified.
 
2014-05-19 08:52:52 PM

germ78: This thread is a violation of the White-Gold Concordat. The proper authorities have been notified.


This is one aspect in which Fallout: NV was better.  The hit squads from the Legion had expensive stuff, while the Thalmor goons just have normal gear.
 
2014-05-19 08:56:47 PM

neongoats: I dunno about Talos, but Bane, Bhaal and Myrkul are some sonsabiatches.


Were.  At least, sort of.
 
2014-05-19 09:03:24 PM

Stile4aly: The Thalmor are asleep.  Post Talos.


Lolololol! Winnar is you!
 
2014-05-19 09:32:34 PM

ajgeek: moogoob: DontMakeMeComeBackThere: State_College_Arsonist: I've never bothered killing him, since I figured he was probably somewhat insane.  Now, Belethor, on the other hand...

"Do come back."

I put up with him because he was useful - he occasionally carried high-value useful stuff like soul gems, mundane jems like sapphires, rare ores (a silver ore once in a while adds up to lots of expensive, enchantable jewelry in the long run) and enchanted amulets. Then could buy any and everything you had on you to pay for it. Yes, I like to barter the Fallout 3 and New Vegas way.

Never killed the "TALOS!" preacher guy. Gave the town character to have some random loony yelling every time you're in the main square - someone you pretend to hate because it's cool but secretly amuses you greatly. He's the Rob Ford of Whiterun, only they weren't stupid enough to make him Jarl.

Am I the only person who didn't slaughter towns wholesale?


Apparently.
 
2014-05-19 10:06:45 PM

Satanic_Hamster: No, THIS is a statue of Talos.

[images.mmorpg.com image 850x531]


I miss that game so much!
 
2014-05-19 10:28:49 PM

ajgeek: moogoob: DontMakeMeComeBackThere: State_College_Arsonist: I've never bothered killing him, since I figured he was probably somewhat insane.  Now, Belethor, on the other hand...

"Do come back."

I put up with him because he was useful - he occasionally carried high-value useful stuff like soul gems, mundane jems like sapphires, rare ores (a silver ore once in a while adds up to lots of expensive, enchantable jewelry in the long run) and enchanted amulets. Then could buy any and everything you had on you to pay for it. Yes, I like to barter the Fallout 3 and New Vegas way.

Never killed the "TALOS!" preacher guy. Gave the town character to have some random loony yelling every time you're in the main square - someone you pretend to hate because it's cool but secretly amuses you greatly. He's the Rob Ford of Whiterun, only they weren't stupid enough to make him Jarl.

Am I the only person who didn't slaughter towns wholesale?


Nope, I don't slaughter townsfolk... Even though I have been tempted to.

/playing skyrim now so getting a kick
//headline was hilarious
///slashies in threes
 
2014-05-19 10:44:54 PM
I used to be an adventurer like you. Then I got a crotch full of bees.
 
2014-05-19 10:53:38 PM
Came for the City of Heroes references. Thank you, Satanic Hamster.

/miss that game so much
 
2014-05-19 10:58:26 PM
img.fark.net

Recommends crotches full of bees
 
2014-05-19 11:25:10 PM

Satanic_Hamster: Anastacya: *tiny fist*

I hated Talos Island, too.

Talos Island wishes it was half the man that Blyde Square was.


Needs moar Apocalypse.
 
2014-05-19 11:29:39 PM

DownIncognito: Came for the City of Heroes references. Thank you, Satanic Hamster.

/miss that game so much


You never lived until you did Incarnate runs with Satanic Hamster. If you cocked up pulling the AV, you'd find yourself back in Dark Astoria in a heartbeat.
 
2014-05-20 05:45:45 AM
The Aldmeria Dominion would like to have a talk with submitter.
 
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