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(Washington Post)   Dear Prudie, our 12-year-old mistook the sounds of her parents' violent bedroom sexytime for spousal abuse, and ratted us out to her teacher. Wat do?   (live.washingtonpost.com) divider line 36
    More: Unlikely, student teachers, sadomasochists, teachers  
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12391 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2014 at 4:17 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-05-19 04:45:35 PM  
11 votes:
"Sweetheart, let me explain the natural, beautiful act that you have just witnessed. When a man and a woman and a dwarf and a colored prostitute and a coked up chimpanzee love each other very much..."
2014-05-19 04:23:01 PM  
6 votes:
Fake. People with kids don't have sex.
2014-05-19 02:25:45 PM  
6 votes:
She's 12 years old.  It should be an easy conversation.

Mom:  "Honey, you know the slapping you hear?  Well, those are slaps but the only marks your stepfather are leaving on me from slapping are on dat ass..."
Daughter: "Ew."
Mom:  "Yeah, 'ew'.  Now go explain it to your teacher so I don't have to.
2014-05-19 04:33:43 PM  
5 votes:

UberDave: She's 12 years old.  It should be an easy conversation.

Mom:  "Honey, you know the slapping you hear?  Well, those are slaps but the only marks your stepfather are leaving on me from slapping are on dat ass..."
Daughter: "Ew."
Mom:  "Yeah, 'ew'.  Now go explain it to your teacher so I don't have to.


Hang a big yup on that one.  12 year old kids know how the parts fit together, most of them have the internet and most of the ones with the internet know how to circumvent the parental controls. They have seen it all in high def streaming video.  If they haven't then they HAVE heard about it from their friends who have.

/homeschool kids maybe haven't
//but if your home school kid rats you out to the teacher then well your kid is kind of stupid
2014-05-19 04:29:09 PM  
5 votes:

Mugato: Why do these fake advice column letters keep getting greenlit? Shouldn't they have a "Plug" tag instead?


Or in this, a "Butt Plug" tag.

Am I right?
2014-05-19 05:17:33 PM  
3 votes:
Dear Drew,

   Why do I keep getting letters from piss freaks? On FARK.com letterhead at that? Thank you.
 Prudie
2014-05-19 04:48:39 PM  
3 votes:
i60.tinypic.com
2014-05-19 04:38:31 PM  
3 votes:
Admit kinky sex.

She`ll be mortified and totally drop thew subject and ignore everything she sees from then on but later, when she`s married, she might try kinky sex.

And yeah, get her to explain that to the teacher.

Snitches get forced to correct their own mistakes.
2014-05-19 04:24:28 PM  
3 votes:
My son (who's two) was at a party at his aunt's house. His uncle's mother is my son's pre-school teacher, and was at the party as well.

He was running and, because he's two, tripped over nothing and fell flat on his face. Bruised and bloody lip that swelled up to enormous size.

My wife and I immediately looked at his teacher and were like "you saw how that happened right? Just to be clear."
2014-05-19 04:18:41 PM  
3 votes:
Have a private talk with the teacher and invite her (or him) to join in.
2014-05-19 03:29:49 PM  
3 votes:

somedude210: I'm not sure which is worse, the Dear Prudence dreck or the Anon-DIT crap on here


I know!  And the answers are so obvious and easy for those of us that aren't completely dysfunctional.

Clearly she needs to get the husband to fark the teacher and slap her around a bit to show her what a masculine powerhouse he is in the sack.

Now was that so hard?
2014-05-19 03:08:42 PM  
3 votes:
www.nerdist.com

 I'm going to scream so loud, you'll hear me clear across the Narrow Sea.

 I got to get outta here, pronto. I got a stage five clinger.
2014-05-19 05:04:18 PM  
2 votes:
Show 'em the tape.
2014-05-19 04:38:31 PM  
2 votes:
DrunkWithImpotence:

I swear these letters are made up sometimes.

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
2014-05-19 04:32:00 PM  
2 votes:

DrunkWithImpotence: Dear Penthouse Forum Prudie...

I swear these letters are made up sometimes.


Sometimes?
2014-05-19 04:30:59 PM  
2 votes:
Dear Prudie,

She's playing all night and the music's all tight. Mamma's got a squeezebox daddy never sleeps at night.
2014-05-19 04:30:58 PM  
2 votes:
Sounds like you are gonna need a couple of ball gags.
2014-05-19 02:41:54 PM  
2 votes:

somedude210: I'm not sure which is worse, the Dear Prudence dreck or the Anon-DIT crap on here


I know.  If people really need help, they should be going to 4chan /adv.
2014-05-19 09:31:55 PM  
1 votes:
Little Johnny: My dad saved my mom's life!
Teacher: Wow! What a wonderful story! Why don't you share with the class! How did he do that!
Little Johnny: Well there was my mom, fallen flat on her back and screamin, "Oh God, I'm coming!" But Dad was on top of her, holding her back!
2014-05-19 08:13:23 PM  
1 votes:

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: Mugato: Why do these fake advice column letters keep getting greenlit? Shouldn't they have a "Plug" tag instead?

Or in this, a "Butt Plug" tag.

Am I right?


3.bp.blogspot.com
2014-05-19 08:07:32 PM  
1 votes:

FizixJunkee: Cerebral Ballsy: Fake. People with kids don't have sex.

We certainly do.

...


You're thinking of MARRIED people - those are the ones who don't have sex.
2014-05-19 07:33:02 PM  
1 votes:

Gleeman: Good thing they don't keep a kaiser blade around the house.


/nothing is obscure


Some folks call it a sling blade...
/Very first Fark post
//Y'all got my cherry.
///Hold up there, I'm a dude...
2014-05-19 06:09:50 PM  
1 votes:

Mr. Shabooboo: mainsail: DrunkWithImpotence: Dear Penthouse Forum Prudie...

I swear these letters are made up sometimes.

Sometimes?

IMPOSSIBLE! Penthouse is the Nudie Magazine Of Record...You can't lie in there..


Oh, Penthouse is totally legit compared to Prudie.
2014-05-19 06:06:10 PM  
1 votes:

Mugato: ThrobblefootSpectre: So.....is a little spank in the bedroom really so utterly unimaginable to you, relatively speaking?  Honestly that's vanilla boring compared to stories we take for granted on a daily basis.

Just the way they are written and the responses seem so made up.


They're edited to look that way because that is how advice-column readers are used to seeing advice columns look.

It's like Dear Abby said the other day. Basically, nobody has a good enough imagination to think up all the situations that real-life people find themselves in.
2014-05-19 05:39:41 PM  
1 votes:
Well, You have some 'splaining to do Lucy. You have to teach her about sex, right now, tell her how you like it rough and tough. Tell her next time to come in and see that I am not beating you up.
2014-05-19 05:38:33 PM  
1 votes:

Mugato: Why do these fake advice column letters keep getting greenlit



Why do people think these are fake when fark is full of articles about naked men sexually harassing animals in public, female teachers banging several 13 years olds boys 3 times a day in their parents' house, naked women running through the streets, etc.  All stories known to be true as reported by multiple professional news agencies.

So.....is a little spank in the bedroom really so utterly unimaginable to you, relatively speaking?  Honestly that's vanilla boring compared to stories we take for granted on a daily basis.
2014-05-19 05:11:33 PM  
1 votes:
They should just be thankful that the kid didn't call the SPCA....
2014-05-19 05:07:35 PM  
1 votes:
If she is hot invite the teacher in for a 3 way.
2014-05-19 04:59:40 PM  
1 votes:
Been there, done that. Mortifying. Said my son, at the door, in his most pitiful voice:

"Dad, stop hurting mom"
2014-05-19 04:53:15 PM  
1 votes:
- Is it dad with diarreia?
- Hmm, no. Why you ask?
- Last night I heard you saying: This shiat is not getting hard...
2014-05-19 04:50:00 PM  
1 votes:
Did someone say 12 year old?
2014-05-19 04:33:27 PM  
1 votes:

skinink: Dear Prudie,

She's playing all night and the music's all tight. Mamma's got a squeezebox daddy never sleeps at night.


That used to be my encore to Behind Blue Eyes when my kid insisted on one more song at bedtime.

I can't wait until he's old enough to get it.
2014-05-19 04:30:59 PM  
1 votes:

UberDave: She's 12 years old.  It should be an easy conversation.


Maybe one of the lads over at the Second Mile can explain it to her.
2014-05-19 04:26:15 PM  
1 votes:
Isn't this the part where the parent caresses the teacher on the arm, invites her back to  the dungeon and they all get along famously?  (Stepdad / teacher / mom).

I think I saw this plot in a Cinemax movie
2014-05-19 04:24:57 PM  
1 votes:
Dear Penthouse Forum Prudie...

I swear these letters are made up sometimes.
2014-05-19 03:24:26 PM  
1 votes:
Next time, push her out the open window of the tower.
 
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