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(Washington Post)   Dear Prudie, our 12-year-old mistook the sounds of her parents' violent bedroom sexytime for spousal abuse, and ratted us out to her teacher. Wat do?   (live.washingtonpost.com) divider line 25
    More: Unlikely, student teachers, sadomasochists, teachers  
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12356 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2014 at 4:17 PM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Smartest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-05-19 05:01:31 PM  
3 votes:
Easy. Don't fark the shiat out of your wife when the kids are around. That's why god made sleepovers.

/be a little more discrete when the kids are around and don't go balls out slammer-jammer-penis-hammer on her
2014-05-19 02:25:45 PM  
3 votes:
She's 12 years old.  It should be an easy conversation.

Mom:  "Honey, you know the slapping you hear?  Well, those are slaps but the only marks your stepfather are leaving on me from slapping are on dat ass..."
Daughter: "Ew."
Mom:  "Yeah, 'ew'.  Now go explain it to your teacher so I don't have to.
2014-05-19 09:31:35 PM  
2 votes:
ts2.mm.bing.net
Might help.
2014-05-19 05:38:33 PM  
2 votes:

Mugato: Why do these fake advice column letters keep getting greenlit



Why do people think these are fake when fark is full of articles about naked men sexually harassing animals in public, female teachers banging several 13 years olds boys 3 times a day in their parents' house, naked women running through the streets, etc.  All stories known to be true as reported by multiple professional news agencies.

So.....is a little spank in the bedroom really so utterly unimaginable to you, relatively speaking?  Honestly that's vanilla boring compared to stories we take for granted on a daily basis.
2014-05-19 05:27:57 PM  
2 votes:
Just give it up and build a proper dungeon. Jesus.

www.chicagoreader.com
2014-05-19 04:43:43 PM  
2 votes:

dready zim: Admit kinky sex.

She`ll be mortified and totally drop thew subject and ignore everything she sees from then on but later, when she`s married, she might try kinky sex.

And yeah, get her to explain that to the teacher.

Snitches get forced to correct their own mistakes.


I take offense that noisy sex is kinky sex. Noisy sex is too awesome to be anything but awesome sex.
2014-05-19 04:38:31 PM  
2 votes:
Admit kinky sex.

She`ll be mortified and totally drop thew subject and ignore everything she sees from then on but later, when she`s married, she might try kinky sex.

And yeah, get her to explain that to the teacher.

Snitches get forced to correct their own mistakes.
2014-05-19 04:25:46 PM  
2 votes:

JasonOfOrillia: Have a private talk with the teacher and invite her (or him) to join in.


We'll need to see a pic of the teacher before we approve of that invitation.
2014-05-19 04:25:33 PM  
2 votes:
Why do these fake advice column letters keep getting greenlit? Shouldn't they have a "Plug" tag instead?
2014-05-19 08:07:32 PM  
1 votes:

FizixJunkee: Cerebral Ballsy: Fake. People with kids don't have sex.

We certainly do.

...


You're thinking of MARRIED people - those are the ones who don't have sex.
2014-05-19 07:58:18 PM  
1 votes:

Cerebral Ballsy: Fake. People with kids don't have sex.


We certainly do.

/there are ways of dampening/muffling sound
//if you get too loud, your partner can "punish" you
///oh, and wait 'til the kid's asleep
2014-05-19 06:30:42 PM  
1 votes:
On the one hand, I'm glad we have a society that tends to be concerned about kids and spouses suffering abuse behind closed doors. As someone who's received a visit from the state social worker accompanied by armed cops because the school want satisfied with my autistic kid's explanation for his totally accidental, sibling-inflicted black eye, busybodies can go fark themselves.
2014-05-19 05:22:56 PM  
1 votes:
I hate those busybodies that are like, "Is something wrong, you can get help?" and you're like, "No. Absolutely nothing is wrong!" and they're like, "Don't worry, we'll get you the help you need. You don't have to be afraid anymore!"
2014-05-19 05:17:33 PM  
1 votes:
Dear Drew,

   Why do I keep getting letters from piss freaks? On FARK.com letterhead at that? Thank you.
 Prudie
2014-05-19 05:04:18 PM  
1 votes:
Show 'em the tape.
2014-05-19 04:50:02 PM  
1 votes:
I like calling the teacher who made it clear nothing can happen until it's legal a sexual predator.

Oh no she finds an adult attractive and told him to wait and think about a potential relationship. The horror!!!!!!
2014-05-19 04:48:39 PM  
1 votes:
i60.tinypic.com
2014-05-19 04:38:31 PM  
1 votes:
DrunkWithImpotence:

I swear these letters are made up sometimes.

img2.wikia.nocookie.net
2014-05-19 04:33:43 PM  
1 votes:

UberDave: She's 12 years old.  It should be an easy conversation.

Mom:  "Honey, you know the slapping you hear?  Well, those are slaps but the only marks your stepfather are leaving on me from slapping are on dat ass..."
Daughter: "Ew."
Mom:  "Yeah, 'ew'.  Now go explain it to your teacher so I don't have to.


Hang a big yup on that one.  12 year old kids know how the parts fit together, most of them have the internet and most of the ones with the internet know how to circumvent the parental controls. They have seen it all in high def streaming video.  If they haven't then they HAVE heard about it from their friends who have.

/homeschool kids maybe haven't
//but if your home school kid rats you out to the teacher then well your kid is kind of stupid
2014-05-19 04:32:00 PM  
1 votes:

DrunkWithImpotence: Dear Penthouse Forum Prudie...

I swear these letters are made up sometimes.


Sometimes?
2014-05-19 04:25:28 PM  
1 votes:
Soundproof your bedroom you cheap farks.
2014-05-19 04:24:57 PM  
1 votes:
Dear Penthouse Forum Prudie...

I swear these letters are made up sometimes.
2014-05-19 04:24:28 PM  
1 votes:
My son (who's two) was at a party at his aunt's house. His uncle's mother is my son's pre-school teacher, and was at the party as well.

He was running and, because he's two, tripped over nothing and fell flat on his face. Bruised and bloody lip that swelled up to enormous size.

My wife and I immediately looked at his teacher and were like "you saw how that happened right? Just to be clear."
2014-05-19 04:23:01 PM  
1 votes:
Fake. People with kids don't have sex.
2014-05-19 04:18:41 PM  
1 votes:
Have a private talk with the teacher and invite her (or him) to join in.
 
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