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(Washington Post)   Dear Prudie, our 12-year-old mistook the sounds of her parents' violent bedroom sexytime for spousal abuse, and ratted us out to her teacher. Wat do?   (live.washingtonpost.com ) divider line
    More: Unlikely, student teachers, sadomasochists, teachers  
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12396 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2014 at 4:17 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-19 05:40:34 PM  

ThrobblefootSpectre: So.....is a little spank in the bedroom really so utterly unimaginable to you, relatively speaking?  Honestly that's vanilla boring compared to stories we take for granted on a daily basis.


Just the way they are written and the responses seem so made up.
 
2014-05-19 05:43:26 PM  
Last time my beloved made that kind of noise she'd accidentally caught her hair in the pasta making attachment of our Kitchen Aid mixer.
 
2014-05-19 06:06:10 PM  

Mugato: ThrobblefootSpectre: So.....is a little spank in the bedroom really so utterly unimaginable to you, relatively speaking?  Honestly that's vanilla boring compared to stories we take for granted on a daily basis.

Just the way they are written and the responses seem so made up.


They're edited to look that way because that is how advice-column readers are used to seeing advice columns look.

It's like Dear Abby said the other day. Basically, nobody has a good enough imagination to think up all the situations that real-life people find themselves in.
 
2014-05-19 06:09:50 PM  

Mr. Shabooboo: mainsail: DrunkWithImpotence: Dear Penthouse Forum Prudie...

I swear these letters are made up sometimes.

Sometimes?

IMPOSSIBLE! Penthouse is the Nudie Magazine Of Record...You can't lie in there..


Oh, Penthouse is totally legit compared to Prudie.
 
2014-05-19 06:24:11 PM  
Dear Stockholm Syndrome,

Maybe your daughter's trying to drop a hint here?
 
2014-05-19 06:25:13 PM  

somedude210: I'm not sure which is worse, the Dear Prudence dreck or the Anon-DIT crap on here


I'm thinking the "speaking like a semi-literate dolt" in headlines was also a contender.
 
2014-05-19 06:30:42 PM  
On the one hand, I'm glad we have a society that tends to be concerned about kids and spouses suffering abuse behind closed doors. As someone who's received a visit from the state social worker accompanied by armed cops because the school want satisfied with my autistic kid's explanation for his totally accidental, sibling-inflicted black eye, busybodies can go fark themselves.
 
2014-05-19 06:42:02 PM  

UberDave: She's 12 years old.  It should be an easy conversation.

Mom:  "Honey, you know the slapping you hear?  Well, those are slaps but the only marks your stepfather are leaving on me from slapping are on dat ass..."
Daughter: "Hey, dat shall be mine ass."
Mom:  "Hey ya woman, done kep yours hands off my man. Fin u down man, du hussy."


FTFY
 
2014-05-19 06:51:23 PM  
Good thing they don't keep a kaiser blade around the house.


/nothing is obscure
 
2014-05-19 07:17:27 PM  
I feel really bad for the children of people who can't talk about sex yet pop out kids anyway.
 
2014-05-19 07:25:21 PM  
 
2014-05-19 07:33:02 PM  

Gleeman: Good thing they don't keep a kaiser blade around the house.


/nothing is obscure


Some folks call it a sling blade...
/Very first Fark post
//Y'all got my cherry.
///Hold up there, I'm a dude...
 
2014-05-19 07:58:18 PM  

Cerebral Ballsy: Fake. People with kids don't have sex.


We certainly do.

/there are ways of dampening/muffling sound
//if you get too loud, your partner can "punish" you
///oh, and wait 'til the kid's asleep
 
2014-05-19 07:59:07 PM  

FunkOut: Soundproof your bedroom you cheap farks.


This.
 
2014-05-19 08:07:32 PM  

FizixJunkee: Cerebral Ballsy: Fake. People with kids don't have sex.

We certainly do.

...


You're thinking of MARRIED people - those are the ones who don't have sex.
 
2014-05-19 08:13:23 PM  

Crass and Jaded Mother Farker: Mugato: Why do these fake advice column letters keep getting greenlit? Shouldn't they have a "Plug" tag instead?

Or in this, a "Butt Plug" tag.

Am I right?


3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-19 08:21:38 PM  

MemeSlave: FizixJunkee: Cerebral Ballsy: Fake. People with kids don't have sex.

We certainly do.

...

You're thinking of MARRIED people - those are the ones who don't have sex.



We're married AND have a child.  We still boink.

/and we're going to boink again in about an hour once the kid's in bed
 
2014-05-19 08:42:11 PM  
in the very off chance it's a "real" letter, i think somebody's bratty 12 year old may not like a step-parent.

children can be nasty little piles of unsocialized id
 
2014-05-19 09:31:35 PM  
ts2.mm.bing.net
Might help.
 
2014-05-19 09:31:55 PM  
Little Johnny: My dad saved my mom's life!
Teacher: Wow! What a wonderful story! Why don't you share with the class! How did he do that!
Little Johnny: Well there was my mom, fallen flat on her back and screamin, "Oh God, I'm coming!" But Dad was on top of her, holding her back!
 
2014-05-20 08:22:53 AM  
Kid should mind her own business
 
2014-05-20 09:56:31 AM  
What a weird house that must be to live in. How can your own kid get shiat so wrong?? Do these people not know each other??
 
2014-05-20 11:28:44 AM  
My son's mother became a BDSM freak during his teenage years. She is now dating slave to a pre-op female-to-male transgender.

S.O. - freaky

Mom - faceplam
 
2014-05-20 12:27:35 PM  
I have a hard time believing this. Most teachers know perfectly well what goes on during kinky sex, even if they won't admit it. Outside of that, learn how to shut and lock your bedroom door and play the television in the background. Then lie your arses off when kiddo knocks on the door.
 
2014-05-20 12:46:47 PM  

Gleeman: Good thing they don't keep a kaiser blade around the house.


/nothing is obscure


I call it a banana blade..

/Mm hmm
//biscuits
///mustard
 
2014-05-20 06:06:24 PM  

Kit Fister: Just give it up and build a proper dungeon. Jesus.

[www.chicagoreader.com image 440x289]


CSPC for the win!
 
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