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(Daily Mail)   Scientists have found a way to turn light into matter. Tea. Earl Grey, hot   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Cool, speed of light, Nature Photonics, thermal radiations, experimental design, Plasma Physics, photons  
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3968 clicks; posted to Geek » on 19 May 2014 at 9:12 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



50 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-19 08:46:32 AM  
I'd rather try a Raktajino
 
2014-05-19 08:49:44 AM  
Old news is 80 years old.
 
2014-05-19 08:57:06 AM  
I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."
 
2014-05-19 08:59:01 AM  

UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."


The best part is you don't need safety protocols for STDs.
 
2014-05-19 09:02:38 AM  

UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists. Duration: Long Time"


FTFM
 
2014-05-19 09:17:01 AM  
Share and Enjoy!
 
2014-05-19 09:18:28 AM  

cman: I'd rather try a Raktajino


Kanar martini. Stirred, not shaken.
 
2014-05-19 09:22:45 AM  
Anyone who's ever tried to read in the dark knows that light matters.
 
2014-05-19 09:37:57 AM  

Diogenes: UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."

The best part is you don't need safety protocols for STDs.


Well, assuming it's your own private holodeck.

You don't want to be the guy that has to squeegee the floors and walls of the public ones.
 
2014-05-19 09:45:36 AM  

neongoats: Diogenes: UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."

The best part is you don't need safety protocols for STDs.

Well, assuming it's your own private holodeck.

You don't want to be the guy that has to squeegee the floors and walls of the public ones.


I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.
 
2014-05-19 09:49:24 AM  
Share and Enjoy!
 
2014-05-19 09:49:27 AM  

Diogenes: neongoats: Diogenes: UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."

The best part is you don't need safety protocols for STDs.

Well, assuming it's your own private holodeck.

You don't want to be the guy that has to squeegee the floors and walls of the public ones.

I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.


Hey, why would you want a robot to take away a mans dignified work.
 
2014-05-19 09:52:38 AM  

Diogenes: I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.


"Ok Red Shirt, Lt Barclay just used holodeck 2. You can clean that up or beam down to Planet Death with Spock, McCoy and the Captain."

"Give me the mop."
 
2014-05-19 09:53:52 AM  

MindStalker: Diogenes: neongoats: Diogenes: UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."

The best part is you don't need safety protocols for STDs.

Well, assuming it's your own private holodeck.

You don't want to be the guy that has to squeegee the floors and walls of the public ones.

I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.

Hey, why would you want a robot to take away a mans dignified work.


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-05-19 09:54:04 AM  
Someone would need to clean the jizz mopping robot.  I think it would be more pleasant to just manually mop the jizz.
 
2014-05-19 09:54:43 AM  
Scientists have found out how to turn pure light into matter for the very first time - after 80 years of trying.

Those must be some OLD scientists.
 
2014-05-19 09:58:37 AM  

Mugato: Diogenes: I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.

"Ok Red Shirt, Lt Barclay just used holodeck 2. You can clean that up or beam down to Planet Death with Spock, McCoy and the Captain."

"Give me the mop."


You FAIL.

Barclay and the holodeck are TNG. Spock, McCoy, and red shirts for the cannon fodder are TOS.
 
2014-05-19 10:03:54 AM  
FTA: ... an electron and a positron - subatomic particles found in all materials.

You're slipping, Fark. Can't believe I'm the first to point this out. This isn't facepalm levels of wrong, but it's at least eye-roll or heavy sigh levels of wrong.

Or are the science standards of the Daily Fail so horribly low that it's not even worth the trouble to comment on an error like this?
 
2014-05-19 10:05:48 AM  

Diogenes: neongoats: Diogenes: UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."

The best part is you don't need safety protocols for STDs.

Well, assuming it's your own private holodeck.

You don't want to be the guy that has to squeegee the floors and walls of the public ones.

I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.


Somehow the answer to your implied question is "Yes."

Mugato: Diogenes: I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.

"Ok Red Shirt, Lt Barclay just used holodeck 2. You can clean that up or beam down to Planet Death with Spock, McCoy and the Captain."

"Give me the mop."


Barclay was TNG.  Spock and McCoy were primarily TOS although they did appear in TNG.
 
2014-05-19 10:08:23 AM  

SpdrJay: Anyone who's ever tried to read in the dark knows that light matters.

www.afb.org

Zombalupagus: Or are the science standards of the Daily Fail so horribly low that it's not even worth the trouble to comment on an error like this?

You answered your own question.
 
2014-05-19 10:09:00 AM  

Son of Thunder: Mugato: Diogenes: I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.

"Ok Red Shirt, Lt Barclay just used holodeck 2. You can clean that up or beam down to Planet Death with Spock, McCoy and the Captain."

"Give me the mop."

You FAIL.

Barclay and the holodeck are TNG. Spock, McCoy, and red shirts for the cannon fodder are TOS.


I should have refreshed before posting.
 
2014-05-19 10:09:07 AM  

Zombalupagus: FTA: ... an electron and a positron - subatomic particles found in all materials.

You're slipping, Fark. Can't believe I'm the first to point this out. This isn't facepalm levels of wrong, but it's at least eye-roll or heavy sigh levels of wrong.

Or are the science standards of the Daily Fail so horribly low that it's not even worth the trouble to comment on an error like this?


No, they are so horribly low that I don't bother reading the articles.
 
2014-05-19 10:22:33 AM  

Zombalupagus: FTA: ... an electron and a positron - subatomic particles found in all materials.

You're slipping, Fark. Can't believe I'm the first to point this out. This isn't facepalm levels of wrong, but it's at least eye-roll or heavy sigh levels of wrong.

Or are the science standards of the Daily Fail so horribly low that it's not even worth the trouble to comment on an error like this?


No, it's facepalm worthy.

You read the article?  That's eye-roll worthy.

Oh, it's the Mail?   You read a Mail article?

facepalm.
 
2014-05-19 11:18:20 AM  
So you want boiled leaves in a cup with cream and sugar? ...hang on, I'm going to have to pull the ship's main computer in to figure this out.
 
2014-05-19 11:39:50 AM  
Amateurs. I've been converting light into cookies forever now!
 
2014-05-19 11:44:15 AM  
Professor A: "Can you turn the light on?"

Professor B: "No!"

Professor A: "OK, no matter..."
 
2014-05-19 11:50:45 AM  
Ya all are slipping.

"researchers at *Imperial* College London say"

It's Star Wars.
 
2014-05-19 11:53:18 AM  

Zombalupagus: FTA: ... an electron and a positron - subatomic particles found in all materials.

You're slipping, Fark. Can't believe I'm the first to point this out. This isn't facepalm levels of wrong, but it's at least eye-roll or heavy sigh levels of wrong.

Or are the science standards of the Daily Fail so horribly low that it's not even worth the trouble to comment on an error like this?


That's far from the only eye-rolling bit in the article. I think individual instances just get lost in the morass of ignorance and misunderstanding that is the author's failed attempt at sounding like he knows what he's talking about.
 
2014-05-19 11:53:49 AM  
Can't believe it's taken this long for someone to post....
 
2014-05-19 11:54:26 AM  
But it will never be able to make good gagh.
 
2014-05-19 11:56:06 AM  
Let's try this again....


img.moviepilot.com

/preview is your friend...
 
2014-05-19 12:02:58 PM  

Diogenes: neongoats: Diogenes: UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."

The best part is you don't need safety protocols for STDs.

Well, assuming it's your own private holodeck.

You don't want to be the guy that has to squeegee the floors and walls of the public ones.

I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.


Dude, use a transporter.
 
2014-05-19 12:05:54 PM  

Son of Thunder: Mugato: Diogenes: I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.

"Ok Red Shirt, Lt Barclay just used holodeck 2. You can clean that up or beam down to Planet Death with Spock, McCoy and the Captain."

"Give me the mop."

You FAIL.

Barclay and the holodeck are TNG. Spock, McCoy, and red shirts for the cannon fodder are TOS.


What if "beam down to Planet Death with Spock, McCoy and the Captain" is a euphemism for going to a opium den with 1930's Ben Sisko?
 
2014-05-19 12:56:17 PM  

whistlerdash: Amateurs. I've been converting light into cookies forever now!


But the grandmas do not approve....
 
2014-05-19 01:21:18 PM  
I am confused.  Not that I expect anything less, what with my not being a scientist, but...the article claims to use lasers to create photons that go just slower than the speed of light.

How do you make light go slower than the speed of light?  I thought it was a universal constant?
 
2014-05-19 01:41:07 PM  
Forget about global warming, what happens when we turn enough light into matter that the earth gets so heavy it changes it's orbit?....
 
2014-05-19 02:13:12 PM  

Zombalupagus: FTA: ... an electron and a positron - subatomic particles found in all materials.

You're slipping, Fark. Can't believe I'm the first to point this out. This isn't facepalm levels of wrong, but it's at least eye-roll or heavy sigh levels of wrong.

Or are the science standards of the Daily Fail so horribly low that it's not even worth the trouble to comment on an error like this?


The daily mail has no standards of any kind; and as such, it has an appropriate home on fark.

That said, it's more heavy-sigh-while-shaking-your-head level of wrong. You can squeeze positrons out of a few materials, but it takes a bit of effort; and it's not really appropriate to say that those elements "contain" them.
 
2014-05-19 02:25:39 PM  

Emposter: I am confused.  Not that I expect anything less, what with my not being a scientist, but...the article claims to use lasers to create photons that go just slower than the speed of light.

How do you make light go slower than the speed of light?  I thought it was a universal constant?


The constant referred to is the velocity of light in a vacuum. Light traveling through a transparent medium can (and does) travel at speeds lower than c.
 
2014-05-19 02:34:08 PM  
We need a gay laser.
 
2014-05-19 02:36:10 PM  
Something is really missing from the description here.  Photon-photon interactions are seen all the time.  LEP at CERN has found two-photon interactions as a byproduct of their lepton smashing (the photons radiate off the charged leptons and interact just prior to the smashing, causing secondary cascades).  In fact, that is basically what the article describes.  I know there has to be something new being talked about here, but for the life of me I can't see it and frankly am not interested enough by what is described to explore.  A comment on Fark suffices.
 
2014-05-19 03:58:44 PM  
Sounds more like a poop loop or popping the cork on the wrong spaceship christening. What happens when the only thing stopping you is your redshifted version of timeline dilation running people over like a haunted werewolf car? Can the compression into matter, be lensed through said compressed matter so as to at least provide a partial parachute or hot air balloon effect versus time?
 
2014-05-19 06:23:07 PM  

Emposter: How do you make light go slower than the speed of light?  I thought it was a universal constant?


One simple and very useful way -- make it pass through glass.  If you wear glasses you're taking advantage of that fact to be able to see!  The speed change (and resultant refraction) makes your blurry vision sharp!
 
2014-05-19 06:47:14 PM  

Publikwerks: Diogenes: neongoats: Diogenes: UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."

The best part is you don't need safety protocols for STDs.

Well, assuming it's your own private holodeck.

You don't want to be the guy that has to squeegee the floors and walls of the public ones.

I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.

Dude, use a transporter.


And transport it where? Out into space? So that the first hapless spacecraft to follow you gets blasted by a cloud of alien micrometeorite Jizzlets? That doesn't sound very neighborly. Or how about transporting them to a nearby M-class planet to burn in the atmosphere? Sure, that's a GREAT way to make friends: " Oh look, a shooting jizz. The aliens must be emptying out the holodeck again. Make a wish!" I guess on the bright side, the transporter tech can stoically say "Cumshot away, captain" after beaming the barclay-spunk toward the nearest planet with an atmosphere.
 
2014-05-19 06:56:54 PM  

PreMortem: Old news is 80 years old.


And humans have been turning matter into light for thousands of years
 
2014-05-19 07:02:15 PM  
Am I the only one who thinks the food replicator is chicken shiat?

It should be able to understand commands semantically: "food box, I want a cuppa Earl Grey" "Gimme tea" not the silly "Tea, Earl Grey" format.
 
2014-05-19 07:40:55 PM  

uber humper: PreMortem: Old news is 80 years old.

And humans have been turning matter into light for thousands of years


It took us quite a while to realize our environment liked trading light for water, that or there were more troubling things with something more than just feet.
 
2014-05-19 07:55:27 PM  

washington-babylon: Publikwerks: Diogenes: neongoats: Diogenes: UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."

The best part is you don't need safety protocols for STDs.

Well, assuming it's your own private holodeck.

You don't want to be the guy that has to squeegee the floors and walls of the public ones.

I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.

Dude, use a transporter.

And transport it where? Out into space? So that the first hapless spacecraft to follow you gets blasted by a cloud of alien micrometeorite Jizzlets? That doesn't sound very neighborly. Or how about transporting them to a nearby M-class planet to burn in the atmosphere? Sure, that's a GREAT way to make friends: " Oh look, a shooting jizz. The aliens must be emptying out the holodeck again. Make a wish!" I guess on the bright side, the transporter tech can stoically say "Cumshot away, captain" after beaming the barclay-spunk toward the nearest planet with an atmosphere.


They probably just feed it into the replicator system, along with the ship's solid and liquid waste.  Where else do you think the organic components for the replicated food come from?
 
2014-05-19 10:29:23 PM  

sharpie_69: Emposter: How do you make light go slower than the speed of light?  I thought it was a universal constant?

One simple and very useful way -- make it pass through glass.  If you wear glasses you're taking advantage of that fact to be able to see!  The speed change (and resultant refraction) makes your blurry vision sharp!


You can also slow it by passing it through other mediums, like certain kinds of supercooled and compressed gas. The tech has existed in labs for about 15 years. Like this:

 http://physicsworld.com/cws/article/news/2009/dec/15/slowed-light-b rea ks-record

Think of it this way: Light speed is not light's only speed. Light speed is light's NORMAL speed, and everything else's speed LIMIT.
 
2014-05-19 11:45:57 PM  

Rick_Slick: washington-babylon: Publikwerks: Diogenes: neongoats: Diogenes: UberDave: I would rather have - "Computer, activate holodeck two, program 17 - Planet of Asian Massage Therapists."

The best part is you don't need safety protocols for STDs.

Well, assuming it's your own private holodeck.

You don't want to be the guy that has to squeegee the floors and walls of the public ones.

I don't know if it's comforting or disturbing to think we'll still need jizz moppers in 24th century.

Dude, use a transporter.

And transport it where? Out into space? So that the first hapless spacecraft to follow you gets blasted by a cloud of alien micrometeorite Jizzlets? That doesn't sound very neighborly. Or how about transporting them to a nearby M-class planet to burn in the atmosphere? Sure, that's a GREAT way to make friends: " Oh look, a shooting jizz. The aliens must be emptying out the holodeck again. Make a wish!" I guess on the bright side, the transporter tech can stoically say "Cumshot away, captain" after beaming the barclay-spunk toward the nearest planet with an atmosphere.

They probably just feed it into the replicator system, along with the ship's solid and liquid waste.  Where else do you think the organic components for the replicated food come from?


Bricks of carbon stored in one of the many storage holds. Assuming you mean that definition of organic. now, where that comes from... who knows? Some would get brought from the starport for sure, but you could incinerate your wastes and recover the carbon from it.
 
2014-05-20 01:21:25 AM  

Zombalupagus: FTA: ... an electron and a positron - subatomic particles found in all materials.

You're slipping, Fark. Can't believe I'm the first to point this out. This isn't facepalm levels of wrong, but it's at least eye-roll or heavy sigh levels of wrong.

Or are the science standards of the Daily Fail so horribly low that it's not even worth the trouble to comment on an error like this?

Took me a minute to see just how wrong this was.  Read it as electron and proton.  And was thinking that you can have atoms without an electron.  Saw the subatomic bit but missed the positron.
 
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