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(CNN)   Employers plan to hire 8.6% more college graduates in 2014. New grads immediately ask if 8.6% is more or less than half   (management.fortune.cnn.com ) divider line
    More: Spiffy, college graduate, Association of Colleges, PFE, General Accounting Office, U.S. Department of Labor  
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336 clicks; posted to Business » on 19 May 2014 at 8:32 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



22 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-19 06:22:22 PM  
It's their fault for not graduating 15 years ago. Dumbasses,
 
2014-05-19 08:34:44 PM  
i65.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-19 08:36:09 PM  
Because college graduates have been ground down enough by the dismal job market that they're willing to be paid what a high school grad is worth.
 
2014-05-19 08:56:45 PM  
I'm interviewing a new grad tomorrow.  He's a new grad with a CS Masters from GA Tech.  I hate interviewing.  I always feel like I don't know what to ask, and sometimes when the interviewee is dying it really bums me out.  Like this guy I interviewed a year ago that didn't know half the crap on his resume.  It was painful.  I don't know why you would do that.
 
2014-05-19 09:12:08 PM  

Rapmaster2000: I'm interviewing a new grad tomorrow.  He's a new grad with a CS Masters from GA Tech.  I hate interviewing.  I always feel like I don't know what to ask, and sometimes when the interviewee is dying it really bums me out.  Like this guy I interviewed a year ago that didn't know half the crap on his resume.  It was painful.  I don't know why you would do that.


just go with some ol' HR classics:

Where do you see yourself at the company in 5 years?

If you could be any animal/plant, which one and why?

Are you familiar with [made up coding language]?

Are you familiar with the mission statement of this company and how does that align with yours?

Are you able to make coffee?

FizzBang?
 
2014-05-19 09:27:20 PM  
8 is way more than half which would be 2.
 
2014-05-19 09:59:59 PM  

Hyjamon: Rapmaster2000: I'm interviewing a new grad tomorrow.  He's a new grad with a CS Masters from GA Tech.  I hate interviewing.  I always feel like I don't know what to ask, and sometimes when the interviewee is dying it really bums me out.  Like this guy I interviewed a year ago that didn't know half the crap on his resume.  It was painful.  I don't know why you would do that.

just go with some ol' HR classics:

Where do you see yourself at the company in 5 years?

Working at another company in 6 months inspired by your Linkedin profile.

If you could be any animal/plant, which one and why?
Bear/mushroom because of that one movie I watched.

Are you familiar with [made up coding language]?
Yes. Are you?

Are you familiar with the mission statement of this company and how does that align with yours?
Yes, easy. Every company uses the same six buzzwords in their "about us" profile.

Are you able to make coffee?
Yes, but that's your job. Chop chop!

FizzBang?
Only with Crisco.

/Am I hired yet?
 
2014-05-19 10:13:56 PM  
8.6% more than zero?
 
2014-05-19 10:16:37 PM  
They still need five years experience on Oracle 2014
 
2014-05-19 10:18:37 PM  

Rapmaster2000: I'm interviewing a new grad tomorrow.  He's a new grad with a CS Masters from GA Tech.  I hate interviewing.  I always feel like I don't know what to ask, and sometimes when the interviewee is dying it really bums me out.  Like this guy I interviewed a year ago that didn't know half the crap on his resume.  It was painful.  I don't know why you would do that.


CS Masters? Implement the reversal of a singly linked list iteratively and recursively on the whiteboard... That should eat up a good portion of time.
 
2014-05-19 10:34:20 PM  
More importantly:

Can you erase a whiteboard without leaving streaks or using 14 gallons of cleaner?
 
2014-05-19 10:55:30 PM  

RangerTaylor: More importantly:

Can you erase a whiteboard without leaving streaks or using 14 gallons of cleaner?


Sure, I'll use 13.9 repeating gallons of cleaner.
 
2014-05-19 11:57:37 PM  
Your Hind Brain:
If you could be any animal/plant, which one and why?
Bear/mushroom because of that one movie I watched.



Mushrooms are not plants, so you already failed..
/snerk
 
2014-05-20 12:03:03 AM  

Rapmaster2000: I'm interviewing a new grad tomorrow.  He's a new grad with a CS Masters from GA Tech.  I hate interviewing.  I always feel like I don't know what to ask, and sometimes when the interviewee is dying it really bums me out.  Like this guy I interviewed a year ago that didn't know half the crap on his resume.  It was painful.  I don't know why you would do that.


Do what my current boss did...

Ask if he can drive a forklift and how much does he want. Even if there is no need to drive a forklift.
 
2014-05-20 12:06:55 AM  
Thanks, Obama
 
2014-05-20 02:17:22 AM  

Czechzican: Rapmaster2000: I'm interviewing a new grad tomorrow.  He's a new grad with a CS Masters from GA Tech.  I hate interviewing.  I always feel like I don't know what to ask, and sometimes when the interviewee is dying it really bums me out.  Like this guy I interviewed a year ago that didn't know half the crap on his resume.  It was painful.  I don't know why you would do that.

Do what my current boss did...

Ask if he can drive a forklift and how much does he want. Even if there is no need to drive a forklift.



Ask if he has a Class 2 rating on the Caterpillar P-5000 Powered Work Loader.
 
hej
2014-05-20 07:52:28 AM  
Half of what?
 
2014-05-20 09:02:54 AM  

Monkeyfark Ridiculous: Czechzican: Rapmaster2000: I'm interviewing a new grad tomorrow.  He's a new grad with a CS Masters from GA Tech.  I hate interviewing.  I always feel like I don't know what to ask, and sometimes when the interviewee is dying it really bums me out.  Like this guy I interviewed a year ago that didn't know half the crap on his resume.  It was painful.  I don't know why you would do that.

Do what my current boss did...

Ask if he can drive a forklift and how much does he want. Even if there is no need to drive a forklift.


Ask if he has a Class 2 rating on the Caterpillar P-5000 Powered Work Loader.


Haha!
 
2014-05-20 10:36:34 AM  
Dam Common Core, now college students can't even fraction and are gay.
 
2014-05-20 03:33:28 PM  

Rapmaster2000: I'm interviewing a new grad tomorrow.  He's a new grad with a CS Masters from GA Tech.  I hate interviewing.  I always feel like I don't know what to ask, and sometimes when the interviewee is dying it really bums me out.  Like this guy I interviewed a year ago that didn't know half the crap on his resume.  It was painful.  I don't know why you would do that.


Did he have any job experience before the masters?

10:1 the guy will struggle with the basics, while simultaneously complaining how crappy your code/technology is.

thermo: CS Masters? Implement the reversal of a singly linked list iteratively and recursively on the whiteboard... That should eat up a good portion of time.


For a masters degree?  Pfft.  I expect that from an undergrad.  Someone with a masters should be able to sketch out a recursive descent parser for JSON (or a decent subset thereof), or deal with graph algorithms or something.  Especially if you are using a high-level language.

That's really the problem with interviewing software engineers: it's very hard to come up with a problem that is solvable in an hour, but demonstrates proper coding at all levels (not just algorithmic).

That being said, I'd kill for someone would could completely code that in an hour. I had to hire this one guy that couldn't reverse an array in-place, and that's less than 10 lines of code.
 
2014-05-20 05:50:58 PM  
Perhaps if businesses didnt act so entitled to instant perfection for unrealistic wages and/or work conditions/arrangements, there might not be a problem.

That is, (directly) hire from the workforce we have, not the one you want.

/Wow, the derp is strong here.
 
2014-05-20 07:58:14 PM  

sethstorm: Perhaps if businesses didnt act so entitled to instant perfection for unrealistic wages and/or work conditions/arrangements, there might not be a problem.

That is, (directly) hire from the workforce we have, not the one you want.


Perhaps businesses could get realistic in their "minimum requirements." Seriously, what percentage of the population has a 4.0 GPA, 5 years of experience as an accountant, IT specialist and receptionist -- simultaneously? And will work for $8 an hour, part-time, on-call? Because demands for ridiculous "qualifications" couldn't possible result in bogus resumes from BS artists.

/Or else they've already promised the job to a current employee and are posting a ridiculously specific wanted ad to cover their butts legally.
//Just graduated May 10 and already being offered crap jobs at crap pay I went to school to get away from
 
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