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(Chicago Trib)   Woman surprised to learn you can't bring a hungry kid to the National Restaurant Association trade show   ( divider line
    More: PSA, Chicago, McCormick Place, Clearly  
•       •       •

8964 clicks; posted to Main » on 19 May 2014 at 6:15 AM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-05-19 06:31:30 AM  
5 votes:
"I'm disappointed mostly," Osborne said. "It was a really big deal they invited us to pour at the show. It was a really big deal for our little whinery."
2014-05-19 07:46:15 AM  
4 votes:

fredklein: what_now: Sure. But as soon as you say "oh, well that's a baby, he can come in" the next Super Special Mommy brings her two year old because he's in a stroller and can't get out and run around.

Strollers are banned:

"Osborne said. "I understand not having kids run around or not having strollers - that I understand.""

Until he gets whiny and she lets him out, and he starts running around.

Then ban them.

But a baby, sans stroller, and sans the ability to run around? Let him stay.

What about a paralyzed kid floating on a balloon? Let's cover all exceptions to kid being a liabilty in the parents' eyes.
2014-05-19 06:25:31 AM  
3 votes:
That NRA, won't they think of the children!
2014-05-19 09:00:57 AM  
2 votes:

Matthew Keene: Time Magazine put it bluntly.

[ image 570x760]

Made this a while back. Seems like a good place to leave it.
2014-05-19 07:29:44 AM  
2 votes:
She owns a 'Whinery'.

heh heheheheh
2014-05-19 06:20:13 AM  
2 votes:
Well, she didn't get to attend the trade show, but on the upside, she got some free advertising.
2014-05-19 01:31:30 PM  
1 vote:

dready zim: gulogulo: You are quite defensive to being asked to back up your statements of insider knowledge. That's interesting.

You are failing to counter my arguments and are *only* questioning my knowledge.

That`s boring.


/Would people really do that? Just go on the internet and lie?
2014-05-19 11:13:24 AM  
1 vote:

sandi_fish: What weirdo brings a 10 day old baby to a trade show?

A whino.
2014-05-19 10:01:56 AM  
1 vote:
Osborne, 31, knew about the trade show rule that does not allow children under 16, she said, but did not think it would apply to her sleeping, 10-day-old baby wrapped closely to her chest.

Because, in a strange trick of math, 10 days is actually more than 16 years.  Weird, huh?
2014-05-19 09:22:13 AM  
1 vote:
I prefer the TRA, the Texas Restaurant Association, because "Eating out is Fun".
Am I right, ladies???
Knowwhatimean, nudge nudge, wink wink...
2014-05-19 08:47:18 AM  
1 vote:

Matthew Keene: Time Magazine put it bluntly.

[ image 570x760]
2014-05-19 08:01:46 AM  
1 vote:

fredklein: dready zim: fredklein: dready zim: Also, this is the insurance company saying `we will only insure the over 16 at your event` which is stated pretty plain and does not have a baby exclusion clause...

Over 16? fine.
under16? sorry, no admittance.

It`s pretty simple stuff and no reason to get your panties in a twist.

What about a pregnant woman? Does the baby count as 'under 16'??

Strawman. There is no baby, a pregnant woman is one entity for insurance purposes.

So, one second it's "a single person", but a few minutes and a little pushing later it's an unacceptable insurance risk. Nice.

Yes, the law (and biology) works that way. There is only a baby after birth.

Are you getting confused by all this? Did your parents explain `the miracle of childbirth` to you?

OK, I`ll give it a go as you seem to have a gap in your education...

Your father farked your mother. At least once, your father and your mother were in bed, and your father got a hard-on, and he stuck it inside your mother and they farked. Sometimes maybe your father farked your mother in the ass, and maybe on the night that you were conceived maybe they did that, before or after, or maybe they didn't, maybe your father never farked your mother's ass, but on the night that you were conceived, one thing is certain: your father farked your mother in her coont.

Maybe your mother sucked your father's dick first, and maybe your father ate your mother's pussy. Maybe your father sucked your mother's clit while sticking a finger or two up your mother's slit until she got really wet. Maybe he got his whole hand up there. If you have older brothers or sisters, then your father probably could have gotten his whole hand up there. If not, then maybe not. But at some point, your mother was wet and loose enough to accommodate your father, and they farked.

Maybe they did it doggy-style. Maybe your mother got on top of your father. Maybe your parents liked to talk dirty to each other when they were farking.

Maybe your mother screamed, "Oh daddy. Oh daddy. fark me, daddy, fark me, fark me, fark me," and then maybe your daddy shouted, "Here it comes! Here it comes! Get ready, biatch, here I come," and then maybe your mother said, "Come in me, come in me, come in me! Oh yeah, baby, fark your mommy, fark your momma's sweet pussy, oh yeah, daddy, oh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah."

Or maybe they were very quiet.

But at any rate, eventually your father came and his sperm shot out of his dick and it went up your mother's coont and it fertilized her egg and that was you. That was you in your mother's womb, growing like a virus for nine months, making your mother fatter and fatter, making her sick, making her vomit, making her hate your father for doing this to her, making her hate you, this thing inside of her, like a virus, growing and sucking, like a leech attached to her, sucking her blood, drinking her like a vampire fetus, growing and sucking and growing and sucking until one day you want out, and you burst through the snotty membrane and you pop out of your mother's coont all covered with blood, and a bloody umbilical cord still attaches you to the inside of your mother somewhere 'til someone snips it off and you are severed. You are a separate being.

This is the miracle of childbirth. To some, it is proof that there is a God.

Now after you were born, maybe you sucked milk out of your mother's tit. Maybe your father wiped the shiat off your shiatty ass. I don't know. You'll have to ask them. But that is basically the way people are born. In a nutshell, that is it. Unless you were a test tube baby, which you weren't, so just face it: your father farked your mother, and the next time you're farking somebody, just try to keep that in mind.

(sung ad-libs, including the following)

fark me, daddy, fark me, fark me, fark me, fark me, fark me

Here I come
Here I come
Get ready, biatch, here I come


Oh daddy, oh daddy, oh daddy, oh daddy, oh daddy, oh daddy

2014-05-19 07:55:19 AM  
1 vote:

gfid: And some people wonder why others are against unions.

No, it's usually just safe to assume they are ignorant of the conditions that existed which forced the formation of unions in the first place.
2014-05-19 07:51:21 AM  
1 vote:
Breastfeeding is a bodily function like defecation.  And you don't see me defecating in the food court at the mall do you?

/well except that one time, and I did my community service for that
2014-05-19 07:25:52 AM  
1 vote:

ThatGuyFromTheInternet: Osborne, 31, knew about the trade show rule that does not allow children under 16, she said, but did not think it would apply to her sleeping, 10-day-old baby

She was told there would be no math.
2014-05-19 07:22:54 AM  
1 vote:

fredklein: Mirandized: The trade show excluded children for safety reasons

Exactly! I mean, what if that baby had jumped out of her arms and started running around?

""There are knives. There are ovens. There are cooking demonstrations with open flames," Hinsley said. "There's all sorts of equipment that could be very dangerous to a child to have any interaction with...""

Yup, that baby could have crawled onto an oven (after turning it on), and burned itself! Or picked up a knife and cut itself!!

Silence. There are rules. All will obey the rules.

Hail Hydra.
2014-05-19 06:54:31 AM  
1 vote:
Ah yes, the old "yer fancy rules don't apply to me and mah Tater Jr". That's always a classic.
2014-05-19 06:53:30 AM  
1 vote:

ko_kyi: mjohnson71: /Didn't know any better
//Was young and stupid

Your company should have told you those limitations at a Union show.

Some of those limits are reasonable, some are clearly designed to force the organizers to pay someone $265/hour to plug in the replacement monitor.

The way I was told the "big" stuff was union and we could do "small" things. I didn't see switching out a faulty monitor as "big".

Trust me: I learned my lesson.
2014-05-19 06:32:36 AM  
1 vote:
Someone buy her a breast pump
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