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(Fark)   I need a ruling- cat just stuck his foot in my scotch. Drink it anyway, or drink it anyway and call kitty AA?   (fark.com ) divider line
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2663 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2014 at 12:17 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-05-17 11:37:28 PM  
24 votes:
is it a persian, because then you have to worry about right paw or left
2014-05-18 01:38:45 AM  
3 votes:

BadReligion: My dog likes scotch. He normally licks it from my mustache. He also doesn't walk in his own poo.


He does lick his balls tho
2014-05-18 12:02:49 AM  
3 votes:
When was the last time you cleaned the litter box?

Are there floaties?
2014-05-18 12:02:43 AM  
3 votes:
Oh come, drink it already. You've had worse things in your mouth after a night of scotch.
2014-05-17 11:37:20 PM  
3 votes:
Oh FFS just drink it and stop clogging the queue with such banal bullshiat. You also have shiatty taste is Scotch.
2014-05-18 02:41:08 AM  
2 votes:
Lick the cat's feet. Give yourself 72 hours - if you dont get sick during that time, then the drink is probably safe.
2014-05-18 12:16:19 AM  
2 votes:
Of course you drink the Scotch. Then you pour and drink another one. Y'know, to disinfect. 

Then you upgrade to Balvenie 17 Rum Cask (or Maderia) and you drink that, too. Problem solved.
2014-05-18 12:02:55 AM  
2 votes:
Wait... So I should use scotch to disinfect my counter?
2014-05-17 11:36:46 PM  
2 votes:
Is it the last of the scotch?
2014-05-18 12:47:55 PM  
1 vote:
Is there lipstick on the glass?
2014-05-18 05:11:32 AM  
1 vote:
did your cat use the paw he jerks off with?


let's be honest, scotch drinkers will put anything in their mouths.
2014-05-18 03:12:35 AM  
1 vote:

meow said the dog: Oh FFS just drink it and stop clogging the queue with such banal bullshiat. You also have shiatty taste is Scotch.


That was not the Meow response I expected; I was looking for;

Drink with the hair of cat is like dog hairs for the hangover, as well your scotch tongue is lacking in the tastes.


:(
2014-05-18 02:24:28 AM  
1 vote:
Yolo
2014-05-18 02:06:38 AM  
1 vote:

Alex_Lee: BadReligion: zarker: BadReligion: My dog likes scotch. He normally licks it from my mustache. He also doesn't walk in his own poo.

He does lick his balls tho

He doesn't have any.

Doesn't need balls to lick his dick.


Or paws or another dog's ahole or eat poop.
2014-05-18 01:40:54 AM  
1 vote:

zarker: BadReligion: My dog likes scotch. He normally licks it from my mustache. He also doesn't walk in his own poo.

He does lick his balls tho


He doesn't have any.
2014-05-18 01:11:13 AM  
1 vote:
What the cat is saying is, he wants scotch. Give the cat some scotch. Unless, of course, you think it's affecting his relationships or professional career. We have a Russian Blue drinks vodka all the time, wears a Ushanka, beats me with a stick when I pass by him; screams all night about the pogroms until he passes out.
2014-05-18 01:08:25 AM  
1 vote:

Musikslayer: I had a live cockroach in a glass of vodka. I drank it (the vodka, not the cockroach. Scooped him out with a spoon). Why yes, I am an alcoholic.

/ Haven't had a drink in almost 10 years.



Neither has the cockroach???
2014-05-18 01:00:47 AM  
1 vote:
Drink it. The cat drags his arse across your pillow and drools on your counter while you're out anyway.

Whatever he's got, you've got.
2014-05-18 12:50:25 AM  
1 vote:
Youve got the balance off. You either need no cats or more liquor or quit drinking or a shiatload more liquor and a shiatload more cats
2014-05-18 12:32:14 AM  
1 vote:
Just add more Mountain Dew and it will be fine.
2014-05-18 12:31:56 AM  
1 vote:

ElLoco: Who would notice. It already tastes like cat feet.


ee cummings?
2014-05-18 12:30:40 AM  
1 vote:
You could probably market this as 'Catfoot Scotch" Heck hipsters buy coffee beans have been eaten by wildcats and shaitted out and gathered. You might be on to something.
2014-05-18 12:28:43 AM  
1 vote:
So this is what you TFers pay for? You're dumber than I thought.
2014-05-18 12:25:26 AM  
1 vote:
You don't want to risk cat scratch fever, you might turn into an insufferable ass like Ted Nugent.
2014-05-18 12:24:04 AM  
1 vote:

meow said the dog: Oh FFS just drink it and stop clogging the queue with such banal bullshiat. You also have shiatty taste is Scotch.


OMG. A post that makes sense.
2014-05-18 12:08:28 AM  
1 vote:

what_now: Wait... So I should use scotch to disinfect my counter?


what kind of girls are you bringing home?
2014-05-17 11:50:56 PM  
1 vote:

L.D. Ablo: Had the cat been in the litterbox before touching your drink?




No, he'd been in my lap, but when I got up to get the scotch he got shirty,
2014-05-17 11:47:58 PM  
1 vote:

L.D. Ablo: Had the cat been in the litterbox before touching your drink?


How long do you think a cat can hold poop in?

If it's old enough to put it's paw in scotch, it's old enough to use a litter box.
2014-05-17 11:42:59 PM  
1 vote:

BadReligion: What kind of Scotch? Also, cats are gross.




Balvanie 15 and no, you.
2014-05-17 11:39:52 PM  
1 vote:
I get the feeling submitter doesn't know the story of Pusser's Rum, aka Nelson's Blood.
2014-05-17 11:37:37 PM  
1 vote:

libranoelrose: Is it the last of the scotch?




No. But still... ?
 
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