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(Fark)   I need a ruling- cat just stuck his foot in my scotch. Drink it anyway, or drink it anyway and call kitty AA?   (fark.com) divider line 119
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2652 clicks; posted to Main » on 18 May 2014 at 12:17 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-18 07:43:15 AM  

The_Hound: meow said the dog: Oh FFS just drink it and stop clogging the queue with such banal bullshiat. You also have shiatty taste is Scotch.

That was not the Meow response I expected; I was looking for;


He wrote that when he was drunk.
 
2014-05-18 08:21:54 AM  
1) Drink the damn scotch - the alcohol will kill anything nasty (plus, you own a cat - if you could catch something from it, you already have it)
2) Did kitty lick his paw clean, then go back for seconds?  If so, then kitty needs an intervention.  If not, then it was just a social kitty drink, you're fine
3) Scotch?  Man up, drink bourbon.
 
2014-05-18 08:28:45 AM  

EatenTheSun: The teenage mom cat in this house likes to drink water by dipping her paw into the bowl and then licking the water off her foot. It's very amusing. I assume she learned this during her days as a stray.


I had a cat who would use his paw to pick out individual pieces of kibble (the ones he liked) from the food bowl. It was really cute.
 
2014-05-18 09:49:46 AM  

HairyNevus: Krustofsky:   Assuming the scotch is 40 proof (20% alcohol)

Uhh, which planet is that a reasonable assumption? Never seen lower than 80 proof.


Anything below 80 proof cannot be labelled scotch whiskey (the real Scottish stuff, anyway).  If the contents of a barrel fall below that during aging then it cannot be a single malt whiskey and will have to be blended with higher-alcohol whiskeys.
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-18 10:16:30 AM  
You should get rid of the cat and get a dog like a man.  Preferably a Lab.
 
2014-05-18 10:31:52 AM  

dstrick44: You should get rid of the cat and get a dog like a man.  Preferably a Lab.


Real Men(tm) have whatever damn pet they want.  Cats, ferrets, rats, insanely ridiculous ornamental fish, whatever.

That said, dogs really seem to be a girl thing.  Haven't known a girl who didn't have to have at least one dog.
 
2014-05-18 11:26:04 AM  

Mister Peejay: dstrick44: You should get rid of the cat and get a dog like a man.  Preferably a Lab.

Real Men(tm) have whatever damn pet they want.  Cats, ferrets, rats, insanely ridiculous ornamental fish, whatever.

That said, dogs really seem to be a girl thing.  Haven't known a girl who didn't have to have at least one dog.


As a single (and single malt) man, I find cats are excellent pets.  Low maintenance, low hassle, independent, and they generally take care of themselves.

Just drink the scotch.  I'd be more worried the cat would acquire the taste, and then would be in my scotch rack while I'm at work.
 
2014-05-18 11:43:40 AM  
This thread makes me miss Total Fark
 
2014-05-18 12:26:11 PM  

pivazena: This thread makes me miss Total Fark


Enjoy.
 
2014-05-18 12:47:55 PM  
Is there lipstick on the glass?
 
2014-05-18 01:19:41 PM  

The_Hound: pivazena: This thread makes me miss Total Fark

Enjoy.




Oh man thanks!! There goes my productivity...
 
2014-05-18 02:51:47 PM  
Dear subby: I laughed my ass off through the entire thread.

Here ya go.

www.canadianactors.info

meow said the dog: Oh FFS just drink it and stop clogging the queue with such banal bullshiat. You also have shiatty taste i[n] Scotch.

shaddup scarebus.
 
2014-05-18 04:17:00 PM  
Indoor cat or outdoor cat?

Do you know where it's been?
 
2014-05-18 04:46:59 PM  

dstrick44: You should get rid of the cat and get a dog like a man.  Preferably a Lab.


Do you have any idea how much Scotch a Lab can drink?
 
2014-05-18 07:32:14 PM  
Cat stepped in your drink?
Never waste good liquor. Pour some scotch in it to kill the germs.
Then go ahead and finish the drink.
 
2014-05-18 08:44:34 PM  

Hector Remarkable: What the cat is saying is, he wants scotch. Give the cat some scotch. Unless, of course, you think it's affecting his relationships or professional career. We have a Russian Blue drinks vodka all the time, wears a Ushanka, beats me with a stick when I pass by him; screams all night about the pogroms until he passes out.


J. Grant, is that you?
 
2014-05-18 11:12:04 PM  

DreamyAltarBoy: dstrick44: You should get rid of the cat and get a dog like a man.  Preferably a Lab.

Do you have any idea how much Scotch a Lab can drink?


If the answer is not yet known, it would require a lab experiment.
 
2014-05-19 01:53:06 AM  

ladyfortuna: Hector Remarkable: What the cat is saying is, he wants scotch. Give the cat some scotch. Unless, of course, you think it's affecting his relationships or professional career. We have a Russian Blue drinks vodka all the time, wears a Ushanka, beats me with a stick when I pass by him; screams all night about the pogroms until he passes out.

J. Grant, is that you?


?

?
 
2014-05-19 11:09:05 AM  
First you have to figure out if its paw touches the litter. Step 1) Put lipstick on cats paw.  Step 2) Wait for it to go in litter box.  Step 3) Throw away litter box.
 
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