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(NPR)   In 1611, astronomer Johannes Kepler interviewed 11 candidates to be his future wife. He would have been much more successful had he'd applied the correct mathematical strategy to solve "The Marriage Problem"   (npr.org) divider line 46
    More: Interesting, Johannes Kepler, numerical solutions  
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4980 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2014 at 2:29 PM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-17 01:48:56 PM
I'm not very good at math so can I just kick their tires, check their fluids, and take them for a test drive?
 
2014-05-17 02:36:19 PM
If you're interviewing 11 candidates for a wife, you just might be marrying for the wrong reasons..
 
2014-05-17 02:40:38 PM

Somaticasual: If you're interviewing 11 candidates for a wife, you just might be marrying for the wrong reasons..


So you're saying The Bachelor isn't totally legit?

My world is crushed.
 
2014-05-17 02:40:55 PM

Somaticasual: If you're interviewing 11 candidates for a wife, you just might be marrying for the wrong reasons..

img.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-17 02:42:07 PM
That presumes there's a "right" reason.
 
2014-05-17 02:42:49 PM
Is that the marry/fark/kill conundrum?
 
2014-05-17 02:43:05 PM

Ebenator: Somaticasual: If you're interviewing 11 candidates for a wife, you just might be marrying for the wrong reasons..
[img.photobucket.com image 660x371]


I'm not going to lie, that's the first thing I thought of after posting that...
 
2014-05-17 02:43:54 PM
Interesting, however more practical for most farkers is the 'Beggars can't be choosers" Theory.
 
2014-05-17 02:44:33 PM
www.thegentlemansjournal.com
I'm always looking for a future ex-Miss Malcolm
 
2014-05-17 02:52:55 PM
Mathematical solution?  I got an icosahedron immersed in blue liquid that is encased in a black plastic chamber that can do a better job.

In other words, one of these:
ecx.images-amazon.com
 
2014-05-17 02:55:55 PM
Much more important stuff happened on npr.org today.  Carl Kassel retired.
 
2014-05-17 03:00:31 PM
Here's how this plays out with secretaries:

A man hires a consultant to help him pick the perfect secretary. There are three candidates, and all three are asked the same question: How much is one and one?

The first candidate answers, "Two."
The second candidate answers, "Well, you didn't say one plus one so my answer is eleven."
The third candidate answers, "Your questions was ambiguous. If you are looking for a creative answer, then eleven is the best choice. If you are looking for a standard, arithmetic answer, then the answer is two."

The psychologist then explained to the boss that the first women would be good at following orders and could figure out simple situations. The second was creative. The third was both creative and analytical. Depending on how much autonomy he required from a secretary, and how much responsibility he wanted to give her, each candidate had something to recommend. He then asked the boss what kind of qualities are the best fit for the job.

The boss replied, "The ones on the candidate with the nice rack."
 
2014-05-17 03:06:36 PM

DeaH: Here's how this plays out with secretaries:


gs1.wac.edgecastcdn.net thumbs.anyclip.com
Oskar Schindler approves of your method.
 
2014-05-17 03:13:22 PM

Somaticasual: If you're interviewing 11 candidates for a wife, you just might be marrying for the wrong reasons..


Believe it or not I once met a young lady who was doing exactly this, except husbands. Most curiously, I was number five but I think her list was only eight (not eleven). I did not know she was doing this interviewing bit until after the interview when she explained to me that although she really liked me and thought I was both handsome and sexy that she hadn't finished her list and she needed to "play the rest of the field". Needless to say I was offended and explained to her that I wanted no part of her silly game and that if she didn't know I was the right person for her then she should just mark me off the list and move on, which she did and so did I. I've always had a twinge of curiosity as to how her adventure turned out but I don't regret for a second knocking myself out of her game. A person who is willing to play with people like that is not the type of person I want to be married to.
 
2014-05-17 03:13:31 PM
imgs.xkcd.com
 
2014-05-17 03:24:56 PM
Meh. If you want to meet the woman of your dreams, just stand in enough of the right lines.
 
2014-05-17 03:28:30 PM

Evil Twin Skippy: Meh. If you want to meet the woman of your dreams, just stand in enough of the right lines.


I don't know about standing but I hear snorting the right lines does the trick.
 
2014-05-17 03:29:49 PM
The previous Mrs. Kepler had died of Hungarian spotted fever

I Googled "Hungarian spotted fever", and I found that the only example of these three words appearing together is the cause of Mrs. Kepler's death, and it is used as a synonym for Rickettsia.

Meh.
 
2014-05-17 03:33:12 PM

worlddan: Somaticasual: If you're interviewing 11 candidates for a wife, you just might be marrying for the wrong reasons..

Believe it or not I once met a young lady who was doing exactly this, except husbands. Most curiously, I was number five but I think her list was only eight (not eleven). I did not know she was doing this interviewing bit until after the interview when she explained to me that although she really liked me and thought I was both handsome and sexy that she hadn't finished her list and she needed to "play the rest of the field". Needless to say I was offended and explained to her that I wanted no part of her silly game and that if she didn't know I was the right person for her then she should just mark me off the list and move on, which she did and so did I. I've always had a twinge of curiosity as to how her adventure turned out but I don't regret for a second knocking myself out of her game. A person who is willing to play with people like that is not the type of person I want to be married to.


Yes, because an honest, methodical spouse is much less desirable than a liar who makes snap decisions.  the proper response would be "Well, when you reject the last three, I'll be right here."

/I started dating my wife after deciding against her, and then realizing that I was critiquing the later girls with "She's nice, but she's not as nice as 'Future-Mrs.-Phalamir'."
 
2014-05-17 03:38:57 PM

phalamir: Yes, because an honest, methodical spouse is much less desirable than a liar who makes snap decisions.


Correct. The liar who makes snap decisions is bound to be more entertaining. Tedium in marriage is not a virtue.
 
2014-05-17 03:46:00 PM

phalamir: Yes, because an honest, methodical spouse is much less desirable than a liar who makes snap decisions.  the proper response would be "Well, when you reject the last three, I'll be right here."


No, he made the right decision, as this graph clearly shows:

www.leda-tutorial.org
 
2014-05-17 04:12:16 PM
The only winning move is not to play?
 
2014-05-17 04:24:13 PM

LordOfThePings: [imgs.xkcd.com image 740x194]


I have a proof that there's an XKCD for every possible fark thread, but this text box is too small for it.
 
2014-05-17 04:29:20 PM
HELLO MY FUTURE GIRLFRIEND.
 
2014-05-17 04:33:31 PM
Three criteria for true love:
1.  It will hit you like a ton of bricks.
     There will be no question in your mind--therefore if you're not sure, then this ain't it.
2.  It will scare the crap out of you.
     Of course you're scared; that's normal.
3.  There is not one damned thing you can do about it.
     Just go with it, man.  It's better that way.
 
2014-05-17 04:46:02 PM

DeaH: Here's how this plays out with secretaries:

A man hires a consultant to help him pick the perfect secretary. There are three candidates, and all three are asked the same question: How much is one and one?

The first candidate answers, "Two."
The second candidate answers, "Well, you didn't say one plus one so my answer is eleven."
The third candidate answers, "Your questions was ambiguous. If you are looking for a creative answer, then eleven is the best choice. If you are looking for a standard, arithmetic answer, then the answer is two."

The psychologist then explained to the boss that the first women would be good at following orders and could figure out simple situations. The second was creative. The third was both creative and analytical. Depending on how much autonomy he required from a secretary, and how much responsibility he wanted to give her, each candidate had something to recommend. He then asked the boss what kind of qualities are the best fit for the job.

The boss replied, "The ones on the candidate with the nice rack."


And if she says "One and one don't make two. One and one make one" she's a big Who fan.
 
2014-05-17 04:49:49 PM
Kepler always was a bit elliptical.
 
2014-05-17 04:57:38 PM

gophurt: The only winning move is not to play?


Sure....if you get your definition of winning from Charlie Sheen.
 
2014-05-17 05:08:55 PM

karlandtanya: Three criteria for true love:
1.  It will hit you like a ton of bricks.
     There will be no question in your mind--therefore if you're not sure, then this ain't it.
2.  It will scare the crap out of you.
     Of course you're scared; that's normal.
3.  There is not one damned thing you can do about it.
     Just go with it, man.  It's better that way.


That sounds an awful lot like passion, not love. Passion cools, so it is a very shaky thing to build a relationship on.
 
2014-05-17 05:12:07 PM
Quite a funny book about a guy who (everyone else can see is Aspergers end of the spectrum) trying to do this

http://bitsofbooks.com/the-rosie-project.html
 
2014-05-17 05:17:15 PM

LordOfThePings: [imgs.xkcd.com image 740x194]


This is 100% what happened to me.  Fortunately, I suppose, my marriage ended for reasons not relating to me meeting The One, and now The One and I are engaged.  Crazy
 
2014-05-17 05:31:27 PM

Tax Boy: LordOfThePings: [imgs.xkcd.com image 740x194]

I have a proof that there's an XKCD for every possible fark thread, but this text box is too small for it.


Why limit yourself?

i60.tinypic.com
 
2014-05-17 05:53:27 PM
To those who consider this strange - it very similar to normal dating, the only big difference is that he had a list beforehand. Isn't the purpose of dating finding someone who fits whatever criteria you have in mind, in any case?
 
2014-05-17 08:33:54 PM
Had he'd... waitaminute, Had he..had?

Had he had...
WTF, I don't even...


img.fark.net
 
2014-05-17 08:34:29 PM
Headline is false.
 
2014-05-17 09:36:03 PM

karlandtanya: Three criteria for true love:
1.  It will hit you like a ton of bricks.
     There will be no question in your mind--therefore if you're not sure, then this ain't it.
2.  It will scare the crap out of you.
     Of course you're scared; that's normal.
3.  There is not one damned thing you can do about it.
     Just go with it, man.  It's better that way.


4. And then she's not into you.
 
2014-05-17 10:59:19 PM

phalamir: Yes, because an honest, methodical spouse is much less desirable than a liar who makes snap decisions.  the proper response would be "Well, when you reject the last three, I'll be right here."


But what if she's not the best choice for *him* by the same standard? It's a rather one-sided approach.
 
m00
2014-05-17 11:10:51 PM
the best way to proceed is to interview (or date) the first 36.8 percent of the candidates. Don't hire (or marry) any of them, but as soon as you meet a candidate who's better than the best of that first group - that's the one you choose! Yes, the Very Best Candidate might show up in that first 36.8 percent - in which case you'll be stuck with second best, but still, if you like favorable odds, this is the best way to go.

No you won't. With that algorithm, if the Very Best is in the first 36.8% you'll be stuck with the last person you happen to interview.
 
2014-05-17 11:33:55 PM

Tyrone Slothrop: karlandtanya: Three criteria for true love:
1.  It will hit you like a ton of bricks.
     There will be no question in your mind--therefore if you're not sure, then this ain't it.
2.  It will scare the crap out of you.
     Of course you're scared; that's normal.
3.  There is not one damned thing you can do about it.
     Just go with it, man.  It's better that way.

4. And then she's he's not into you.


5. You marry someone else and they proceed to treat you like shiat off and on for years.
 
2014-05-17 11:34:47 PM
Sorry. I'm not on my game lately, probably for obvious reasons. Just call me Debbie Downer.
 
2014-05-18 12:17:46 AM

Ninja Otter: phalamir: Yes, because an honest, methodical spouse is much less desirable than a liar who makes snap decisions.  the proper response would be "Well, when you reject the last three, I'll be right here."

But what if she's not the best choice for *him* by the same standard? It's a rather one-sided approach.


She would provide administrative services and pussy - I'm kinda wondering what guy that isn't the optimal spouse for. "She balances the checkbook, does the taxes, and rides my cock - I watch football and bang her".  What kind of non-gay man would turn that down?  Especially since by putting him on the list, she considers him at least a passable fark-buddy.
 
2014-05-18 12:37:34 AM

phalamir: Ninja Otter: phalamir: Yes, because an honest, methodical spouse is much less desirable than a liar who makes snap decisions.  the proper response would be "Well, when you reject the last three, I'll be right here."

But what if she's not the best choice for *him* by the same standard? It's a rather one-sided approach.


She would provide administrative services and pussy - I'm kinda wondering what guy that isn't the optimal spouse for. "She balances the checkbook, does the taxes, and rides my cock - I watch football and bang her".  What kind of non-gay man would turn that down?  Especially since by putting him on the list, she considers him at least a passable fark-buddy.


Where is any of the above implied? All we know about this woman is she was evaluating husband material and found him handsome and sexy, and it sounds like OP thought she was similarly reasonably attractive. She could be looking for a meal ticket, a dead bedroom might have followed, etc.

Even with your assumptions, how about a sense of humor? Sexual adventurism beyond the missionary position?  Liking to cook, travel, other hobbies?
 
2014-05-18 12:47:45 AM

Ninja Otter: Where is any of the above implied? All we know about this woman is she was evaluating husband material and found him handsome and sexy, and it sounds like OP thought she was similarly reasonably attractive. She could be looking for a meal ticket, a dead bedroom might have followed, etc.


If she's that rigorous about husband-hunting, and has no qualms about telling you, those probably follow ove rinto her reglar life, which means she has a meticulous checkbook, and hs her taxes done by mid-January a tthe latest.

Ninja Otter: Even with your assumptions, how about a sense of humor? Sexual adventurism beyond the missionary position?  Liking to cook, travel, other hobbies?


She is happy to do the boring administrative stuff of life, which means more beer time for you.  She could be a plank with a hole drilled into it at that point.  "My wife balances the checkbook and I get drunk."

/Also, if she is frigid, there are always hookers
//And maybe worlddan is into necrophilia
 
2014-05-18 01:20:30 AM
So 37 in a row and then the next one is the right one?
 
2014-05-18 11:02:09 AM

enthralledgeishagirl: So 37 in a row and then the next one is the right one?


Thirty-seven? Talk about snowballing.
 
2014-05-18 03:42:04 PM

DeaH: karlandtanya: Three criteria for true love:
1.  It will hit you like a ton of bricks.
     There will be no question in your mind--therefore if you're not sure, then this ain't it.
2.  It will scare the crap out of you.
     Of course you're scared; that's normal.
3.  There is not one damned thing you can do about it.
     Just go with it, man.  It's better that way.

That sounds an awful lot like passion, not love. Passion cools, so it is a very shaky thing to build a relationship on.


Actually, it is brain chemistry, and you are right it is a shaky foundation. A current theory is that being "in love" is meant to keep the mated pair together just long enough to get offspring to weaning age. Then the process starts again. In our current modern society it gives us time to learn the how to make that love/passion/infatuation morph into something that will be satisfying longterm. Otherwise, we end up splitting the house, cars, debts, dog, and kids -- then no one is happy or satisfied.
 
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