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(Fox 2 St. Louis)   Guy has heart attack at bar, do you a) call 911, b) perform CPR, or c) steal his wallet and hit on his girlfriend?   (fox2now.com) divider line 42
    More: Dumbass, Larry Lotter, heart attacks, wallets  
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4915 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2014 at 12:53 PM (9 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



42 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-17 08:49:08 AM
D... Daddy? o_o
 
2014-05-17 10:33:05 AM
img4.wikia.nocookie.net

Does not approve
 
2014-05-17 12:45:47 PM
over at the Rock Bottom Bar...

Well, there you go.
 
2014-05-17 12:55:02 PM
Depends.  How hot is his girlfriend?
 
2014-05-17 12:57:02 PM
Wow, this clown needs to be castrated.  Seriously, you spike the guy's drink, rob his cash then try to hit on his GF?!

That doesn't deserve a cockpunch, that deserves a baseball bat to his balls...10 times.
 
2014-05-17 12:57:32 PM
I can see a scenario that allows one person to do all three.
 
2014-05-17 01:00:34 PM
"Rarely have I seen somebody literally steal from what they believe to be a dying man. It's pretty pathetic."

Huh? If the guy really is dying he won't miss it. Jeez. If ya gotta steal that's the way to go.
 
2014-05-17 01:03:10 PM
in 'murica, the answer is C.

you gotta' keep Freedom alive!
 
2014-05-17 01:03:17 PM
And TFA says "According to the victim...it's possible that the suspect slipped something into his drink."

You don't cockpunch somebody because something's possible. It's possible that I could be Wil Wheaton's biodad, though I'll go to my death swearing I never met the lady.
 
2014-05-17 01:08:36 PM

The One True TheDavid: And TFA says "According to the victim...it's possible that the suspect slipped something into his drink."

You don't cockpunch somebody because something's possible. It's possible that I could be Wil Wheaton's biodad, though I'll go to my death swearing I never met the lady.


But he undeniably *did* boost the dude's wallet, so cockpunch away!
 
2014-05-17 01:10:11 PM

ArkAngel: [img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 439x461]

Does not approve



What's 'CPR'?
 
2014-05-17 01:10:52 PM

sendtodave: Depends.  How hot is his girlfriend?


I'm guessing it was one of the chicks in the video so... [nopeoctopus.gig]
 
2014-05-17 01:13:56 PM

dustman81: ArkAngel: [img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 439x461]

Does not approve


What's 'CPR'?


Cock Punch Reciprocation
 
2014-05-17 01:18:16 PM
Welcome to the redneck side of IL, folks. Thankfully I stayed in the city. Doing this at pretty much any south side bar would not have ended well.
 
2014-05-17 01:21:25 PM
He happened to put brakes on Kuegler's car just over a month ago.

So who's the real criminal here?
 
2014-05-17 01:26:34 PM
Captain Mike Dixon with the Madison County Sheriff's Department says it's one of the most pathetic, disheartening crimes he's ever seen.  And over at the Rock Bottom Bar in Williamson, the bar owner and victim say the same thing.

I suppose it would be
 
2014-05-17 01:27:39 PM
During the course of reading that short article, 4 times the site had a Trojan "virus warning" popup telling me my "android may have a virus" and then taking over the screen with a "scan." Good job subby, are you going to sell me pills which add 3 inches next?
 
2014-05-17 01:29:06 PM

IamAwake: During the course of reading that short article, 4 times the site had a Trojan "virus warning" popup telling me my "android may have a virus" and then taking over the screen with a "scan." Good job subby, are you going to sell me pills which add 3 inches next?


I didn't get any of that
 
2014-05-17 01:29:43 PM
Wow, I really had higher expectations of the patrons of Rock Bottom Bar, Bailbonds, Prepaid Legal, Lottery and Haircare Center.
 
2014-05-17 01:31:42 PM

dustman81: What's 'CPR'?


Cock Punching (that) Retard.
 
2014-05-17 01:32:08 PM

Bane of Broone: dustman81: ArkAngel: [img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 439x461]

Does not approve


What's 'CPR'?

Cock Punch Reciprocation


Sweetbabyjebus! Warn a guy!
 
2014-05-17 01:33:07 PM
Stealing $100 is a felony?

Damn.
 
2014-05-17 01:34:58 PM

Solid State Vittles: The One True TheDavid: And TFA says "According to the victim...it's possible that the suspect slipped something into his drink."

You don't cockpunch somebody because something's possible. It's possible that I could be Wil Wheaton's biodad, though I'll go to my death swearing I never met the lady.

But he undeniably *did* boost the dude's wallet, so cockpunch away!


You know who likes statements like that? Lawyers.
 
2014-05-17 01:38:05 PM
people are animals.  always have been.  always will be.
 
2014-05-17 01:39:53 PM

JasonOfOrillia: over at the Rock Bottom Bar...

Well, there you go.


Also seen at the bar:
i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-17 01:42:14 PM

JoieD'Zen: Solid State Vittles: The One True TheDavid: And TFA says "According to the victim...it's possible that the suspect slipped something into his drink."

You don't cockpunch somebody because something's possible. It's possible that I could be Wil Wheaton's biodad, though I'll go to my death swearing I never met the lady.

But he undeniably *did* boost the dude's wallet, so cockpunch away!

You know who likes statements like that? Lawyers.


You know what ELSE lawyers like? Cock Punches!

/or so I've heard.
 
2014-05-17 01:43:19 PM

IamAwake: During the course of reading that short article, 4 times the site had a Trojan "virus warning" popup telling me my "android may have a virus" and then taking over the screen with a "scan." Good job subby, are you going to sell me pills which add 3 inches next?


I doubt you'd get that ad; what could do with those 4 inches, besides my mom?

/ I got no popups...
 
2014-05-17 01:43:51 PM
Is that the bar near the Smackdown Hotel?
 
2014-05-17 01:44:20 PM
This is Fark so I'm going with d) Order a beer and drink it.
 
2014-05-17 01:46:44 PM

abhorrent1: IamAwake: During the course of reading that short article, 4 times the site had a Trojan "virus warning" popup telling me my "android may have a virus" and then taking over the screen with a "scan." Good job subby, are you going to sell me pills which add 3 inches next?

I didn't get any of that


I did, but on a random GameFAQs page... Probably not a good thing.
 
2014-05-17 01:52:18 PM

JoieD'Zen: Solid State Vittles: The One True TheDavid: And TFA says "According to the victim...it's possible that the suspect slipped something into his drink."

You don't cockpunch somebody because something's possible. It's possible that I could be Wil Wheaton's biodad, though I'll go to my death swearing I never met the lady.

But he undeniably *did* boost the dude's wallet, so cockpunch away!

You know who likes statements like that? Lawyers.


I agree. Still pretty sure that armchair quarterbacking other peoples dickishness is still ok though.
 
2014-05-17 01:54:03 PM
Bucket-o- Blood must have been taken
op
 
2014-05-17 01:59:49 PM
In high school (look it up, its the night the ST:Voyager episode with the slipstream/time travel premièred), we had a dinner theater play. It was "Just Desserts". Any who, I'm the sole stage hand doing any sort of technical work. At the point in the dinner the judge dies, we call an actor portraying a doctor out of the audience to check the judge. My little addition I had recommended, was that as the doctor was checking the judge and trying to get him off the stage, I suggest he not discreetly pull the cash from the judges wallet and pocket it. Also, we named the security guard Jim. Just so the doctor could grab the guard and yell "He's dead, Jim".

Who says improv can't be fun.
 
2014-05-17 02:03:11 PM
FARK handle?
 
2014-05-17 03:42:17 PM
Like a boss
 
2014-05-17 04:58:05 PM

ArkAngel: Does not approve


Aaaaand we're done.
 
2014-05-17 06:51:12 PM
"Captain Mike Dixon with the Madison County Sheriff's Department says it's one of the most pathetic, disheartening crimes he's ever seen."

Challenge accepted.
 
2014-05-17 07:31:05 PM
Carpe diem
The stars don't line up for you like this every day, you know
 
2014-05-17 08:27:08 PM
A greasemonkey got rolled at the Rock Bottom Bar?  Sounds like a bona fide dive bar.
 
2014-05-18 12:00:16 AM

"Forget that gasping loser. How'd you like to date a real man?"

 
2014-05-18 12:17:58 AM

dustman81: ArkAngel: [img4.wikia.nocookie.net image 439x461]

Does not approve


What's 'CPR'?


Cock Punch Revenge
 
2014-05-18 08:24:27 AM

jmr61: Stealing $100 is a felony?

Damn.


I think it has something to do with taking it from a compromised person.
 
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