Do you have adblock enabled?
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Alaska Dispatch News)   In the wake of the botched lethal injection in Oklahoma last month, Utah has a suggestion: Bring back the firing squad   (adn.com) divider line 27
    More: Unlikely, Oklahoma, lethal injection, Utah, Death Penalty Information Center, human form, heightened scrutiny, Utah Attorney General, Winchester rifle  
•       •       •

2621 clicks; posted to Main » on 17 May 2014 at 9:00 AM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-05-17 09:10:55 AM  
9 votes:
The Canadians tried firing squads, but it didn't work for some reason:

www.neowin.net
2014-05-17 05:28:03 AM  
5 votes:
2014-05-17 09:03:28 AM  
4 votes:
I still don't know why executions aren't public.  They could show it on PPV. I'd watch. They could get creative with it.  Like Gladiators style.  You defeat this lion with a fork, you get to go free.
2014-05-17 12:48:35 PM  
2 votes:

RobSeace: UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Helium is cool though, because when the condemned man says his last words, they come out all high-pitched and comical, adding a little levity to what otherwise is a rather somber event. You gotta think of the kiddies.

Or, for the real horrible criminals, give them sulfur hexafluoride, so they sound super-scary and bad-ass! Or, just give them all nitrous oxide, and let them laugh themselves to death...


Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah  Wah
2014-05-17 10:13:55 AM  
2 votes:
Nope.  I'm against firing squads because I know how it always turns out.  The person about to be shot has a drawn out conversation with the person leading the squad, prompting the squad leader to say the word "fire" and inadvertently be shot by his own men.

i1.ytimg.com
2014-05-17 10:00:58 AM  
2 votes:

subfactorial: TheWarp: Scott_Free: 1 word: Helium

Perfectly good helium that could be used for scientific research? Nope.

/12 rounds of 5.56x45 is much cheaper.

Yes, Helium is an extravagant choice.  Pretty much any gas that isn't CO2 will do the job.  You're breathing reflex is triggered by CO2 concentration so with say... N2 you'll just slowly pass out and die.  This really seems like a cheap and foolproof way of doing it.  Not sure why it's never even discussed.  As long as you're going to execute people at least do it right.


Helium is cool though, because when the condemned man says his last words, they come out all high-pitched and comical, adding a little levity to what otherwise is a rather somber event. You gotta think of the kiddies.
2014-05-17 09:23:24 AM  
2 votes:
alright, i'll bite.  What is with the jars filled with M&M's and cigarettes??

apmobile.images.worldnow.com
2014-05-17 09:17:10 AM  
2 votes:

HMS_Blinkin: Mugato: I don't know why they don't do this. It's quick, easy and doesn't leave too much of a mess. Lethal injection is too complicated and the electric chair is some medieval shiat (if they used electricity back then).

It also leaves most organs available for harvesting/donation. That can't be said of electrocution or lethal injection.


Have you seen any horror movies at all? Everyone knows if you get an organ or body part from an executed man, you become a psycho killer yourself.
2014-05-17 09:09:11 AM  
2 votes:

oukewldave: I still don't know why executions aren't public.  They could show it on PPV. I'd watch. They could get creative with it.  Like Gladiators style.  You defeat this lion with a fork, you get to go free.


Personally, I think they need to bring back gladiators. That would be some serious entertainment. Put that NFL player who is on trial for murder, Hernandez? Up against the skinny little Private who leaked everything and is getting a sex change. Put em in the ring. Bundy vs Dalmer? All kinds of awesome match ups if we coordinated.
2014-05-17 06:52:59 PM  
1 votes:

LoneWolf343: and could blow a man's head off at 200 yards


Camper.
2014-05-17 03:33:27 PM  
1 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-05-17 02:01:49 PM  
1 votes:

oukewldave: I still don't know why executions aren't public.  They could show it on PPV. I'd watch. They could get creative with it.  Like Gladiators style.  You defeat this lion with a fork, you get to go free.


Rootus: It should be brutal and public (not PPV, that just attracts the sickos, it should preempt local programming). If we're going to kill people we should be well aware of it. Sanitizing it just absolves us all of really thinking about it.


The problem I see with PPV is you are turning it into a profit center, which like for profit prisons, would end up killing innocent people for the dollar.
"We have to fill the line up for tonight's execution."

imageshack.com
2014-05-17 12:48:24 PM  
1 votes:
I say, bring back Trial by Combat. Let the accused chose his champion, and let America choose hers. Now, America's champion is the atomic bomb, so to prove your innocence, all you have to do is not disintegrate at the atomic level.

//let them appeal over radioactive dust and bones.
//some one send for Rossart!
2014-05-17 12:46:33 PM  
1 votes:
Aw, heck. Why not just dip them in a big vat of liquid nitrogen and then drop them on a concrete floor?
2014-05-17 12:24:12 PM  
1 votes:
www.starwarped.net

You contemptible pig! I remained celibate for you. I stood at the back of a cathedral, waiting, in celibacy, for you, with three hundred friends and relatives in attendance. My uncle hired the best Romanian caterers in the state. To obtain the seven limousines for the wedding party, my father used up his last favor with Mad Pete Trullo. So for me, for my mother, my grandmother, my father, my uncle, and for the common good, I must now kill you, and your brother.
m00
2014-05-17 11:39:34 AM  
1 votes:
www.quickmeme.com

/what, are you gay?
2014-05-17 10:35:31 AM  
1 votes:
He's nothing but a low-down, double-dealing, backstabbing, larcenous perverted worm! Hanging's too good for him. Burning's too good for him! He should be torn into little bitsy pieces and buried alive!

That is all...
2014-05-17 10:23:56 AM  
1 votes:
I'd be offended by all these comments if FARK didn't consider "Running Man" a documentary of humane capital punishment.
2014-05-17 10:17:49 AM  
1 votes:

Gonz: I figured out the solution in the shower the other day.

You hook the condemned up to one of the machines we use for blood donation. Turn it on, and don't stop at a pint. They get low blood pressure and pass out before death. It's clean, and worst case, you have to dispose of a gallon and a half of medical waste in the incinerator.


And you get the bonus of collecting their souls in floating spheres.

/seeto reecho malvo rey
//seeto reecho malvo rey
2014-05-17 10:17:00 AM  
1 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: Helium is cool though, because when the condemned man says his last words, they come out all high-pitched and comical, adding a little levity to what otherwise is a rather somber event. You gotta think of the kiddies.


Or, for the real horrible criminals, give them sulfur hexafluoride, so they sound super-scary and bad-ass! Or, just give them all nitrous oxide, and let them laugh themselves to death...
2014-05-17 10:07:49 AM  
1 votes:

UNAUTHORIZED FINGER: subfactorial: TheWarp: Scott_Free: 1 word: Helium

Perfectly good helium that could be used for scientific research? Nope.

/12 rounds of 5.56x45 is much cheaper.

Yes, Helium is an extravagant choice.  Pretty much any gas that isn't CO2 will do the job.  You're breathing reflex is triggered by CO2 concentration so with say... N2 you'll just slowly pass out and die.  This really seems like a cheap and foolproof way of doing it.  Not sure why it's never even discussed.  As long as you're going to execute people at least do it right.

Helium is cool though, because when the condemned man says his last words, they come out all high-pitched and comical, adding a little levity to what otherwise is a rather somber event. You gotta think of the kiddies.


"On a lighter note, the serial killer known as the Son of Kwame was executed today. His last words were 'Ooo eee,ooo ah ah ting tang Walla walla, bing bang'"
2014-05-17 09:46:46 AM  
1 votes:
"I say "let's liven it up a little!" I honestly believe if you make the death penalty a little more entertaining and learn to market it correctly, you just might be able to raise enough money to balance the stupid [farkin'] budget!" - George Carlin

Limiting the scope of my commentary solely to the manner of execution, bring back the gallows. It's quick, economic, and if it fails the first time, you can either get a new rope or strangle them with the old one.

I can't wrap my mind around the ill-conceived lengths we go to to sanitize the process. We're killing a man, we ought have dignity and certainty enough to stand by our decision, and what that truly means.
2014-05-17 09:30:53 AM  
1 votes:

Guns n' Farkin Roses: alright, i'll bite.  What is with the jars filled with M&M's and cigarettes??

[apmobile.images.worldnow.com image 360x211]


Pogey bait.

Scott_Free: 1 word: Helium


Good idea! Put 'em in a helium balloon, wait for them to reach high enough that it pops. No need for an executioner!
2014-05-17 09:25:44 AM  
1 votes:
s2.dmcdn.net

"What would you like on your Tombstone?"
"Sausage and pepperoni!"

(Omg, I'm old enough to remember those commercials)
2014-05-17 09:17:29 AM  
1 votes:
Do they realize how much ammo is these days???
2014-05-17 09:07:43 AM  
1 votes:

oukewldave: I still don't know why executions aren't public.  They could show it on PPV. I'd watch. They could get creative with it.  Like Gladiators style.  You defeat this lion with a fork, you get to go free.


There could be an escape rout, too. Maybe an obstacle course of swinging ropes and balance beams surrounded by liquid hot magma.
2014-05-17 09:05:58 AM  
1 votes:
1 word: Helium
 
Displayed 27 of 27 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
Advertisement
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report