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(NASCAR)   Can the 48 dominate here for the 3rd year in a row? How did a simple internet meme become this year's fan pick? It's the NASCAR All Star Race from Charlotte (7:00 PM ET, Fox Sports 1)   (nascar.com) divider line 647
    More: Cool, NASCAR, Sprint All-Star Race  
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198 clicks; posted to Sports » on 17 May 2014 at 6:30 PM (31 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-17 12:39:26 PM  

ARE YOU NOT SPORTS ENTERTAINED?


img.photobucket.com

And now its time for...


THE RULEBOOK TO BE THROWN THE FARK OUT!


i640.photobucket.com


(Created by DanZero & bluorangefyre, with contributions from Professor Farksworth, QueenMamaBee, Mzltplx, and a bunch of other Fark racing fans!)

1) Every 25th post is "DANICA," every 500th post is "CHECKERED FLAG!" and every 1,100th post is, "Screw the gredunza, I just did the double!"
2) Brian France Mr. McMahon asking "ARE YOU NOT SPORTS ENTERTAINED?" before the 10th post
3) Somebody comes in with a humorous "left/right turn/going in circles" comment
4) BOOGITY in some form when various segments start
5) Idols/Buddhas/Transformers/Reactors being fired up
6) Complaints about TNT & ESPN race coverage (or if in TNT/ESPN coverage, how bad it is and how we pine for FOX again) ONLY VALID FOR 2014!
7) While we were away!
8) Green flag pit stops
9) The inevitable race commentator foul up
10) Phantom cautions - pace dingo appears after two, Mr. McMahon Brian France appears if it benefits the driver of car #48 and/or the person who probably doesn't deserve to drive car #3, or sets up a closer finish
11) "Austin Dillon driving car number three... the number made famous by the late/great Dale Earnhardt."
12) MLP deployment ONLY in the following instances: sad Rainbow Dash when Princess Crumplefenders (AKA Danica) inevitably wrecks, happy Rainbow Dash if she's running in the top 20, charging Rainbow Dash if she's in the top 10, and whatever the evil pony is that is the sister of the queen pony if we need some extra mojo to help the idols and Buddhas defeat car #48
13) Complaints and such if Jimmie Johnson wins again and celebrations from his fan(s)
14) Race is official when Kvapil, Reutimann, Wise or Danica bring out the caution (can be more than one)... causes referee dog to be deployed
15) BONUS OFFICIAL RACE: Mikey brings out the yellow
16) Something to do with potato salad and/or sugar free gummi bears
17) SPECIAL BONUS: One of us is actually at the track
18) Something not meant to catch fire does
19) We are reminded about how a track is famous for The Big One/Darlington Stripe/Eating tires/Fuel Mileage races.
20) "Because #3 car"
21) Race is boring... what are you drinking?
22) "Lord baby Jesus, smite Logano's engine!"
23) Somebody asking why they don't run in the rain followed by a quick explaination why its not a good idea
24) "Nevermind that shiat, here comes Dick Trickle!"
25) DanZero's commercial recap from last week and running throughout the thread
26) DOGECAR!  Many laps.  Very fast.
 
2014-05-17 12:43:21 PM  
NASFARK TWITTER LIST! (Updated 05/12/2014)

(Updated 05/12/2014)

bluorangefyre - @bluorangefyre
QueenMamaBee - @KyJockeyLuvr
Mztlplx - @tinfoil_fedora
Professor Farksworth - @TDA_wooo
Foaming - @EvanOlson

Feel free to add on to this, since it is the debut.
 
2014-05-17 05:17:27 PM  
If JJ asolutely MUST win a race this year, this is the one to do it in. Sure, it'll suck that he won, but it doesn't count towards the Chase and isn't an auto-in so the damage is mitigated.

I say we let the idols rest until next week's 600 and hit him with reinvigorated power.
 
2014-05-17 06:34:00 PM  
Hey, we're up early for once!

Hello NASFARK...
 
2014-05-17 06:37:20 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: I say we let the idols rest until next week's 600 and hit him with reinvigorated power


I sent the original Buddha down to Nepenthe Spa in Big Sur for a a meditation & yoga retreat. He's squeezed into his yoga pants and discussing the works of Carlos Castenada. The 48 winning tonight is of no consequence to the grander schemes of the universe.

That being said, the Vodak car was flying this morning in Indy!
 
2014-05-17 06:42:03 PM  
@nateryan
Anyone else wonder if the Dogecoin-Reddit community also has realized there's online voting for Most Popular Driver?
 
2014-05-17 06:42:47 PM  
so.. what're the odds that they "revise" the fan voting rules next year?
 
2014-05-17 06:43:48 PM  

Mztlplx: Hello NASFARK...


I hear that in my mind as Jerry Seinfeld greeting his ever so loathed neighbor.
 
2014-05-17 06:46:22 PM  
So if you want to skip the pre-race show and just tune in for the race, turn on your TV at 9:17 p.m.


/10:17pm for me
//way too late for a meaningless exhibition
///getting old
 
2014-05-17 06:49:24 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: If JJ asolutely MUST win a race this year, this is the one to do it in. Sure, it'll suck that he won, but it doesn't count towards the Chase and isn't an auto-in so the damage is mitigated.

I say we let the idols rest until next week's 600 and hit him with reinvigorated power.


Good. Tiny Buddha is down for maintenance as required for Dept. Of Energy certification. Got some new Strontium-90 secondary rods and a Polonium overdrive system, courtesy of my Russian tovarisch.

/nevermind the rad suit, I'm clean, I promise.
 
2014-05-17 06:50:30 PM  

good_2_go: So if you want to skip the pre-race show and just tune in for the race, turn on your TV at 9:17 p.m.


/10:17pm for me
//way too late for a meaningless exhibition
///getting old


So why all the pre-race stuff without the open?

/at work again
//much overtime. little rest
 
2014-05-17 06:51:09 PM  

crotchgrabber: Mztlplx: Hello NASFARK...

I hear that in my mind as Jerry Seinfeld greeting his ever so loathed neighbor.


catracing.cat.com
 
2014-05-17 06:53:03 PM  

crotchgrabber: Mztlplx: Hello NASFARK...

I hear that in my mind as Jerry Seinfeld greeting his ever so loathed neighbor.


Okay then...

Good news, NASFARK! We're back...
 
2014-05-17 06:53:29 PM  
"Country music star Darius Rucker will sing the national anthem before tonight's race."

I'm getting old, too. When does Hetfield debut as the star of Tosca at the Met?

I mean, seriously. Darius Rucker? Country? I'll bet the good ol' boys love the hell out of him.
 
2014-05-17 06:53:58 PM  

good_2_go: So if you want to skip the pre-race show and just tune in for the race, turn on your TV at 9:17 p.m.


Well currently on FS1, the Yankees are still teeing off against the Bucs. Five homers as of the 8th.
 
2014-05-17 06:56:30 PM  

Mztlplx: crotchgrabber: Mztlplx: Hello NASFARK...

I hear that in my mind as Jerry Seinfeld greeting his ever so loathed neighbor.

Okay then...

Good news, NASFARK! We're back...


Fine.

:: bows politely ::

Konbanwa, minna to NASFARK!

:: bows politely again ::
 
2014-05-17 06:56:33 PM  
What time do you guys think they'll do the driver intros? My dad isn't switching the channel from Big Bang Theory to watch the qualifying part of the All Star race. So I'm stuck without TV for the time being.
 
2014-05-17 06:56:37 PM  
Danica lost the fan vote...

Okay so what's the over/under that NASCAR decides to "enhance the fan experience" by allowing two entrants via fan vote next year?
 
2014-05-17 06:58:19 PM  

bluorangefyre: So why all the pre-race stuff without the open?


Apparently they qualify at 7pm.
 
2014-05-17 06:58:23 PM  

hotrod2001: Danica lost the fan vote...

Okay so what's the over/under that NASCAR decides to "enhance the fan experience" by allowing two entrants via fan vote next year?


They'll most likely try harder not to fail spectacularly at blocking the script kids that voted Wise in.
 
2014-05-17 06:58:23 PM  
Well here's already an issue with this shiat being on FS1 now.......

WHAR BOOGIDY WHAR
 
2014-05-17 06:59:02 PM  

hotrod2001: Danica lost the fan vote...

Okay so what's the over/under that NASCAR decides to "enhance the fan experience" by allowing two entrants via fan vote next year?


Who knows, maybe she'll come around and qualify herself. Stranger things have happened. If Derrike Cope can win the Daytona 500 anything can happen.
 
2014-05-17 06:59:09 PM  

SeikaArashi: What time do you guys think they'll do the driver intros? My dad isn't switching the channel from Big Bang Theory to watch the qualifying part of the All Star race. So I'm stuck without TV for the time being.


Pssst....

Benadryl.

Works like a charm.

/just kidding.
 
2014-05-17 06:59:26 PM  
AFTER BASEBALL FOX???

AFTER?

Can't you just throw it on regular FOX?
 
2014-05-17 07:01:05 PM  

hotrod2001: Danica lost the fan vote...

Okay so what's the over/under that NASCAR decides to "enhance the fan experience" by allowing two entrants via fan vote next year?


They'll add a NASCAR provisional next year, but Danica losing is actually a good thing.  Controversy is GREAT press.  The Redditers are now fans because they were able to vote their guy in and the Danica fans will now have to pay more attention to the fan voting.
 
2014-05-17 07:02:01 PM  
Meh. I'll be back later.
 
2014-05-17 07:02:37 PM  

DanZero: AFTER BASEBALL FOX???

AFTER?

Can't you just throw it on regular FOX?


Pirates are down to their last out, and nothing important is going on anyway.

/checked to see if it was on FS2 (after straining to remember where FS2 WAS on my dial), nope.. UFC

YANKEES WIN. THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YANKEES WIN!
 
2014-05-17 07:02:48 PM  
My cup for tonight and next weekend

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-17 07:03:28 PM  

The Bestest: DanZero: AFTER BASEBALL FOX???

AFTER?

Can't you just throw it on regular FOX?

Pirates are down to their last out, and nothing important is going on anyway.

/checked to see if it was on FS2 (after straining to remember where FS2 WAS on my dial), nope.. UFC

YANKEES WIN. THAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YANKEES WIN!


Yeah, I just saw that. Still confused as heck as to how this thing actually ends up, but it's still a good watch.
 
2014-05-17 07:03:32 PM  
TSN is showing a "SportsCentre Top 10".

Speed is showing an episode of "The 10".
 
2014-05-17 07:03:48 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: hotrod2001: Danica lost the fan vote...

Okay so what's the over/under that NASCAR decides to "enhance the fan experience" by allowing two entrants via fan vote next year?

Who knows, maybe she'll come around and qualify herself. Stranger things have happened. If Derrike Cope can win the Daytona 500 anything can happen.


To be fair Cope won two Cup races in his career...which is more than a lot of the drivers in the field have to their names.
 
2014-05-17 07:04:15 PM  
So I'll start with my regular question... do I have time to take a shower?

And speaking of racing.... did any of y'all watch the Preakness? DAMN!
 
2014-05-17 07:05:28 PM  
No pit road speed limit?

yah, that won't turn ugly.....
 
2014-05-17 07:05:30 PM  

QueenMamaBee: So I'll start with my regular question... do I have time to take a shower?


ample
 
2014-05-17 07:05:58 PM  
@nascarcasm

God, he wins everything. Friggin' Kyleafornia Chrome.
 
2014-05-17 07:06:01 PM  

QueenMamaBee: So I'll start with my regular question... do I have time to take a shower?

And speaking of racing.... did any of y'all watch the Preakness? DAMN!


Fistfight on the paddock?

/went to see Godzilla today
 
2014-05-17 07:06:08 PM  

QueenMamaBee: So I'll start with my regular question... do I have time to take a shower?

And speaking of racing.... did any of y'all watch the Preakness? DAMN!


You have tme for a shower, to clean the entire house, and wash every car in the neighbourhood.
 
2014-05-17 07:06:18 PM  
Wait, no pit road speed limit?
 
2014-05-17 07:06:36 PM  

good_2_go: TSN is showing a "SportsCentre Top 10".

Speed is showing an episode of "The 10".


You still get Speed in Canada? Lucky
 
2014-05-17 07:08:20 PM  
The only thing better than the smell of fresh cut grass....is the smell of fresh cut grass that someone else mowed.
 
2014-05-17 07:08:59 PM  

Mztlplx: The only thing better than the smell of fresh cut grass....is the smell of fresh cut grass that someone else mowed.


You can get it every week at every speedway infield
 
2014-05-17 07:10:16 PM  
pretty good crowd out there, looks like
 
2014-05-17 07:11:07 PM  

DanZero: You still get Speed in Canada? Lucky


My TV provider is pulling the plug on June 1. Rogers and Bell already dropped it earlier this year. The only thing I'll really miss are the truck races, Rolex 24, and LeMans. Most of the time they just show "R U Faster...", "Dumbest Stuff on Wheels", "Pass Time", "Hard Parts", etc.
 
2014-05-17 07:11:41 PM  

Mztlplx: QueenMamaBee: So I'll start with my regular question... do I have time to take a shower?

And speaking of racing.... did any of y'all watch the Preakness? DAMN!

Fistfight on the paddock?

/went to see Godzilla today


No, just an awesome display by California Chrome.

/although he did feel the need to show his boy parts on national TV pre-race.
 
2014-05-17 07:12:18 PM  

Mztlplx: The only thing better than the smell of fresh cut grass....is the smell of fresh cut grass that someone else mowed.


Ryan Blaney took care of that last night when he pulled a Joonyer.
 
2014-05-17 07:15:01 PM  

good_2_go: DanZero: You still get Speed in Canada? Lucky

My TV provider is pulling the plug on June 1. Rogers and Bell already dropped it earlier this year. The only thing I'll really miss are the truck races, Rolex 24, and LeMans. Most of the time they just show "R U Faster...", "Dumbest Stuff on Wheels", "Pass Time", "Hard Parts", etc.


Much like SPEED here, then.
 
2014-05-17 07:16:00 PM  

Adolf Oliver Nipples: Mztlplx: The only thing better than the smell of fresh cut grass....is the smell of fresh cut grass that someone else mowed.

Ryan Blaney took care of that last night when he pulled a Joonyer.


Missed that. Had clinicals last night, four hours on rounds at a physical rehab center, glued to Nurse Ratchet's hip. Believe me, I would much rather have been watching the race.
 
2014-05-17 07:17:20 PM  
media4.onsugar.com
 
2014-05-17 07:18:54 PM  
OK, gots me a feed for this fun, but race itself doesn't start for another 2 hrs (they got some qualifying fun first, 3 laps with a mandatory 4-tire-change pit stop involved).
 
2014-05-17 07:20:27 PM  

oilyfishhead: [media4.onsugar.com image 850x1275]


Such votes. Many drives. Wow.
 
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