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(Gawker)   Gays have had their chance in the discrimination spotlight. Now it's time to focus on the true victims: Hillbillies in higher education   (gawker.com) divider line 20
    More: Stupid, higher educations, vote with their feet, discrimination, gays  
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7468 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2014 at 6:13 PM (13 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-05-16 06:20:50 PM
13 votes:
Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic. "What's logic?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck. The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin' ?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're queer, ain't ya?"
2014-05-16 06:32:51 PM
5 votes:
I don't know if I want to live in a world with rednecks getting educated. The mixture of those people with normal educated people...it's...just...unnatural, and against what God intended.
2014-05-16 05:13:50 PM
4 votes:

img.fark.net

2014-05-17 06:46:13 PM
3 votes:

serpent_sky: LazyMedia: /Person of Appalachian origin, but I farking HATE going shoeless.

Meh, I grew up in NYC and only wear shoes when I absolutely *have* to.  I hate them.  I have never worn them when on stage. I can't type with them on


You're supposed to use your hands.
2014-05-16 06:18:01 PM
3 votes:
Barefoot? Are they sure they're not hippies?
2014-05-16 05:16:23 PM
3 votes:
Please. They prefer to be called "people of the soil."

Or "undocumented distillers," if they have gumption.
2014-05-16 04:49:33 PM
3 votes:

edmo: DNRTFA. Is this gonna be another creationism thread?


No. That thread was moved to the sports tab. And next time you come in here take your shoes off.
2014-05-16 04:43:10 PM
3 votes:

Benevolent Misanthrope: While the article is stupid, I will say that I did face a certain amount of academic and professional prejudice because of my Southern accent.  People heard me speak with a Savannah drawl, and immediately assumed I was stupid, racist and incapable of doing the job.  For the first several years of my career I had to overcome that.  Luckily, in Canada it's a novelty not a drawback.


I think it was Jeff Foxworthy who said that nobody wants to hear their brain surgeon say with a southern accent, "Now, what we gon' do is..."
2014-05-16 04:22:30 PM
3 votes:
Advanced theoretical muddin
2014-05-16 09:55:22 PM
2 votes:
So a professor sees a hillbilly walking around campus with only one shoe.

"Did you lose a shoe?" the professor asked.

"Nope," drawled the hillbilly. "Found one."
2014-05-16 06:21:38 PM
2 votes:
Well, bless that professors little heart.
2014-05-16 06:01:09 PM
2 votes:

Snarfangel: Please. They prefer to be called "people of the soil."

Or "undocumented distillers," if they have gumption.


The salt of the earth, the common clay of the west... You know, morons.
2014-05-17 12:40:02 AM
1 votes:

TerminalEchoes: Though I do have to give credit to Ebonics for taking away the concept of an irregular verb. I be, you be, he/she be, we be, they be.


Boo be!
2014-05-16 10:32:23 PM
1 votes:

BlueDWarrior: I think he's speaking toward the low- grade hypocrisy of some getting mad at one denigrating people with [accent A] while themselves denigrating those with [accent B].


so in other words a strawman. got it.
2014-05-16 10:10:52 PM
1 votes:

SBinRR: soseussme: buckeyebrain: Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic. "What's logic?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck. The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin' ?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're queer, ain't ya?"

Two hillbillies decide they want to improve their lot so they decide to enroll at the local community college. They go to the administrative offices and find out that there's an entrance exam they have to take, but they are lucky and can take it that afternoon.

They go in, sit down, and get to work on the tests.

"Hey, Billy Joe, this is tough! How do you spell 'farm'?" Jimmy Wayne asks.

 "You idjit," Jimmy Wayne says, "It's e-i-e-i-o!"

Two hillbilly girls go into the big city to see the sights.  They happen upon a photography studio and decide to get their picture made.
As they pose, the photographer looks into the camera and starts making adjustments.

The first girl asked "What's he doin'?"
The second answered, "Oh, he's gonna focus".
The first replied, "Both of us?"


Couple of rednecks, Bubba and Junior are out workin', diggin' on this big hole. Hot, sweaty, covered in mud and not too happy about their pay. Bubba looks up and sees the foreman lookin' over the edge down at them, wearing his clean white clothes.

This upsets him, so he looks over at Junior and says "You ever wonder why it like dat?"

Junior looks up, confused and asks "Like wut?"

"Man, we down here in dis here hole, covered in mud and workin' 're asses off and not makin' nothin'. But him up thur, he don' do nothin' walks round in them clean white clothes and makes all da money!"

Junior don't stop shovelin' just shrugs and says, "I dunno, why don' ya git up there and ask?" So Bubba decides this is what he'll do. Gets up out the hole and finds the foreman.

"Hey, I gots somethin' I want to know. How come we down in that hole, hot and dirty and not makin' no money, then you come by all nice and clean but get all da pay? Why it like dat?"

The foreman stops and thinks for a second then makes up his mind. He leans over and puts his hand up against a tree. "You see my hand? I want you to punch it as hard as you can."

"Naw bossman, I cain't do that," Bubba protests, "I'll break yer hand!"

"No, you won't. Just go ahead," the foreman assures. Bubba hesitates, then takes at a swing with all his might. At the last second, the foreman moves his hand out the way. "That's why it's like that, stupidity."

Cursing and hurting, Bubba goes back to the hole and goes back to work. Junior starts prodding, asking what answer he got. Bubba just starts shoveling faster, his face turning red. After a few minutes, Junior can't take it. He grabs Bubba by the shoulders and asks "What'd he tell ya?! Why it like dat?!"

Bubba stops diggin' and starts to look around. But he can't find any trees down in the hole. So he holds his hand up in front of his face and says, "Ya see my hand?" ....
2014-05-16 09:26:54 PM
1 votes:

conjecture and hearsay: Some places are known to have a disproportionately high number of dumb people.


But enough about Congress...

/try the veal
2014-05-16 07:16:15 PM
1 votes:
Just say you are barefoot hippie, problem solved!
2014-05-16 06:33:20 PM
1 votes:

dolphkhan: Lsherm: Benevolent Misanthrope: While the article is stupid, I will say that I did face a certain amount of academic and professional prejudice because of my Southern accent.  People heard me speak with a Savannah drawl, and immediately assumed I was stupid, racist and incapable of doing the job.  For the first several years of my career I had to overcome that.  Luckily, in Canada it's a novelty not a drawback.

I grew up in northern Kentucky and southern Ohio and I learned how to get rid of my accent real fast.  I didn't even realize I had one until I went to college.  I'd normally sound like David Letterman, just a standard midwestern accent, but on certain words people would call me on it.  Like I'd be in the middle of a sentence, hit the word "roof" or "fire" and someone would ask "WHAT did you just say?" like I had just shiat all over my desk.  I still say Louisville like I've got a mouth full of molasses.

My kid brother went the opposite route.. He went from a Boston accent to fluent Bumpkin by the end of his first semester in South Carolina.


Ya'll git in da cah?
2014-05-16 06:32:05 PM
1 votes:
"Appalachian studies"

Well that right there is your problem.
2014-05-16 06:27:23 PM
1 votes:

buckeyebrain: Two rednecks decided that they weren't going anywhere in life and thought they should go to college to get ahead.

The first went in to see the counselor, who told him to take math, history, and logic. "What's logic?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck. The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazing!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck was catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway where his friend was still waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin' ?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is logic?" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You're queer, ain't ya?"


Two hillbillies decide they want to improve their lot so they decide to enroll at the local community college. They go to the administrative offices and find out that there's an entrance exam they have to take, but they are lucky and can take it that afternoon.

They go in, sit down, and get to work on the tests.

"Hey, Billy Joe, this is tough! How do you spell 'farm'?" Jimmy Wayne asks.

 "You idjit," Jimmy Wayne says, "It's e-i-e-i-o!"
 
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