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(Wired)   New app puts you in touch with your congressperson to give them immediate feedback on what they're working on. Will include autocorrect for commonly used words and phrases like douchebag, jackass, and "corrupt clownf*cking assmonkey"   (wired.com) divider line 78
    More: Obvious, Joe Trippi, mobile apps, Plain English, phrases, Howard Dean  
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2215 clicks; posted to Politics » on 16 May 2014 at 3:43 PM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



78 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-16 03:19:37 PM
I have a veritable cornucopia of creative terminology. I hope the app won't change "brainlocked tardstick" to something with less panache.
 
2014-05-16 03:23:34 PM
As much as I hate my congresscritter, I know for a fact that he does not in fact fark clowns.
 
2014-05-16 03:43:16 PM

R.A.Danny: As much as I hate my congresscritter, I know for a fact that he does not in fact fark clowns.


If he did he'd probably be farking MY congressclown
 
2014-05-16 03:47:30 PM
Followup: New app sends automatic boilerplate form letters to constituents sending text messages.
 
2014-05-16 03:47:37 PM

R.A.Danny: As much as I hate my congresscritter, I know for a fact that he does not in fact fark clowns.


I think calling congressmen clown farkers is demeaning to those who have a clown fetish.
 
2014-05-16 03:48:41 PM
Your congressperson is a corrupt clownf*cking assmonkey? Fancy that - my congressperson is a cross-eyed turtle f*cker.
 
2014-05-16 03:48:46 PM
Assfarking clown-monkey is also acceptable
 
2014-05-16 03:49:25 PM

AngryDragon: Assfarking clown-monkey is also acceptable


Nah, Larry Craig is no longer in DC
 
2014-05-16 03:50:32 PM
You know I've always said that politicians should have campaigning funds given by local, state, or federal government so they don't have to solicit donations. That way if they are caught taking money it would have been clearly illegal, but now it wouldn't matter, they're all evil soulless ass-clowns that would sell their mother for a penny.
 
2014-05-16 03:50:53 PM

R.A.Danny: As much as I hate my congresscritter, I know for a fact that he does not in fact fark clowns.


I'd vote for a clown farker.

/clowns are evil
 
2014-05-16 03:50:54 PM
Do they really need my feedback on how to get a blowjob from a lobbiest?
 
2014-05-16 03:51:03 PM

To The Escape Zeppelin!: R.A.Danny: As much as I hate my congresscritter, I know for a fact that he does not in fact fark clowns.

I think calling congressmen clown farkers is demeaning to those who have a clown fetish.


True words.

static2.beanscdn.co.uk

How can that be wrong?
 
2014-05-16 03:51:58 PM
Gay midget albino two penised goat sodomizers.
 
2014-05-16 03:53:19 PM

ChipNASA: Gay midget albino two penised goat sodomizers.


Gaping pigheaded choadgarglers
 
2014-05-16 03:53:54 PM
I call mine "corrupt corporate lickspittle and phallophage."
 
2014-05-16 03:55:09 PM
So many dick picks. Just all cock all day.
 
2014-05-16 03:55:26 PM

R.A.Danny: As much as I hate my congresscritter, I know for a fact that he does not in fact fark clowns.


Goats?
 
2014-05-16 03:55:46 PM
It's cute that they think politicians care about our opinions.
 
2014-05-16 03:55:51 PM

gingerjet: R.A.Danny: As much as I hate my congresscritter, I know for a fact that he does not in fact fark clowns.

I'd vote for a clown farker.

/clowns are evil


it gives me the Shakes....

ts4.mm.bing.net
 
2014-05-16 03:57:02 PM
If only my phone had some kind of way I could write a message to a certain phone number.....
 
2014-05-16 03:58:11 PM
One problem with our Federal government is that the House was always meant to be the place where the little guy had a voice, with far more members than the Senate.  Thing is, the country's population keeps growing but the number of House members is fixed.  There should be a rule that no House member can represent more than say 200,000 people.  That means that today the House should have about 1,500 members.
 
2014-05-16 03:58:14 PM

flynn80: Do they really need my feedback on how to get a blowjob from a lobbiest?


NO NO NO NO. Congressclowns give blowjobs to lobbyists. Then the lobbyists give them money. Congressclowns are whores. That's how it works with whores.
 
2014-05-16 03:58:37 PM

ChipNASA: Gay midget albino two penised goat sodomizers.


But enough about the guys running for governor of Idaho

/have you seen the video of the debate?
 
2014-05-16 03:59:59 PM

meat0918: Followup: New app sends automatic boilerplate form letters to constituents sending text messages.


Followup:  Filter Action =
                                 (*Countable*) Delete
 
2014-05-16 04:01:52 PM
I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a disgrace,

That two become a lawfirm

And that three, or more, become a congress.

/ lovingly stolen from John Adams; who was the most obnoxious and unliked founding father.

// one more; evident-LEE, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson detested each other so much that they both died on the same day
 
2014-05-16 04:02:13 PM
I thought this was a neat idea, until I read this:

For now, you need a Facebook account to use the new service. Countable taps your Facebook profile information to determine your name, location, and your national representatives.

You know, guys, not everything has to be linked to Facebook!
 
2014-05-16 04:02:17 PM

ColSanders: It's cute that they think politicians care about our opinions.


I came to post this.

Unless this app comes with the capability to transfer large sums on money into off shore bank accounts your congress person will never read them.
 
2014-05-16 04:02:35 PM
I need a name for my new band, thought I would see what you guys have to offer.
 
2014-05-16 04:02:48 PM

ColSanders: It's cute that they think politicians care about our opinions.


The Democrats do.

Of course, they'll still fark you dry and without warning, but you'll feel better knowing that they do it because they care.
 
2014-05-16 04:02:56 PM
Wow this is new and exciting because email does not exist! You mean there's a way to send an easily ignored electronic message to my Congressman? What a time to be alive.
 
2014-05-16 04:03:30 PM

iheartscotch: I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a disgrace,

That two become a lawfirm

And that three, or more, become a congress.

/ lovingly stolen from John Adams; who was the most obnoxious and unliked founding father.

// one more; evident-LEE, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson detested each other so much that they both died on the same day


More people need to watch that movie.
 
2014-05-16 04:03:57 PM

Danger Avoid Death: flynn80: Do they really need my feedback on how to get a blowjob from a lobbiest?

NO NO NO NO. Congressclowns give blowjobs to lobbyists. Then the lobbyists give them money. Congressclowns are whores. That's how it works with whores.


Sometimes the lobbyist gives them a free vacation to Acupulco instead of money. They like to mix things up a bit now and then.
 
2014-05-16 04:05:00 PM

James!: So many dick picks. Just all cock all day.


hey now dick's picks is a great series of grateful dead compilations. please dont associate them w politicians
 
2014-05-16 04:06:36 PM

AngryDragon: iheartscotch: I have come to the conclusion that one useless man is a disgrace,

That two become a lawfirm

And that three, or more, become a congress.

/ lovingly stolen from John Adams; who was the most obnoxious and unliked founding father.

// one more; evident-LEE, John Adams and Thomas Jefferson detested each other so much that they both died on the same day

More people need to watch that movie.


That movie is probably why I'm completely unelectable. I'd probably break out into "Piddle, Twiddle and Resolve" every 5 minutes.

/ of course; someone would have to respond with "Sit down, John!"
 
2014-05-16 04:12:38 PM
pray tell... what exactly is the 'autocorrect' for  "corrupt clownf*cking assmonkey" ?  I mean, that seems like an acceptable term to use for most of the members of congress... any other terminology and I'm not sure they would realize to whom the missive was directed.
 
2014-05-16 04:14:39 PM

Sofa King Smart: pray tell... what exactly is the 'autocorrect' for  "corrupt clownf*cking assmonkey" ?


The Honorable corrupt clownfarking assmonkey
 
2014-05-16 04:22:39 PM

Notabunny: R.A.Danny: As much as I hate my congresscritter, I know for a fact that he does not in fact fark clowns.

Goats?


I've never heard him deny goatfarking.....
 
2014-05-16 04:23:08 PM

Smeggy Smurf: Sofa King Smart: pray tell... what exactly is the 'autocorrect' for  "corrupt clownf*cking assmonkey" ?

The Honorable corrupt clownfarking assmonkey


Perhaps, Congress Person Corrupt Clownfarking Assmonkey?
 
2014-05-16 04:23:25 PM
img.fark.net

You other boys have probably called this young man names like "tubby," or "lard butt," or "fat tits."
 
2014-05-16 04:23:44 PM
I thought it would have some kind of status update thing.

That way I could watch my local rep switch between "saving marriage" and "repealing ObamaCare" on an hourly basis.

Well, except on Tuesdays.
 
2014-05-16 04:23:46 PM
I live in a red state that seems to be dedicated to stupidity. So my opinion will never matter. Apps, email, clown farkers, none of it factors in.
 
2014-05-16 04:27:20 PM

Joe USer: I thought it would have some kind of status update thing.

That way I could watch my local rep switch between "saving marriage" and "repealing ObamaCare" on an hourly basis.

Well, except on Tuesdays.


Tuesdays is rape day isn't it?  They're not called rapeublicans for nothing
 
2014-05-16 04:29:46 PM
I want to be able to send messages to other people's congressmen since they're the ones passing all the farked up laws and screwing things up. Mine are relatively sane individuals.
 
2014-05-16 04:30:16 PM
The
Corrupt Clown-farking Assmonkeys are excellent live.
 
2014-05-16 04:34:44 PM
I started using it. very helpful actually. show upcoming legislation. give an overview and then some more in depth stuff if you want it.

Everyone is always complaining about how the public is uninformed and not politically active. this makes it easier.

I say good on them.

/yes I am pretty sure my tea party congress critter couldn't give a rats ass.
 
2014-05-16 04:35:01 PM

Sofa King Smart: pray tell... what exactly is the 'autocorrect' for  "corrupt clownf*cking assmonkey" ?  I mean, that seems like an acceptable term to use for most of the members of congress... any other terminology and I'm not sure they would realize to whom the missive was directed.


corrupt clownf*cking assmonkey is the right term. The app autocorrects "Senator" to "corrupt clownf*cking assmonkey" while "Representative" is "douchebag."
 
2014-05-16 04:37:41 PM

flynn80: Do they really need my feedback on how to get a blowjob from a lobbiest?


img.fark.net
 
2014-05-16 04:39:01 PM
Text our Honorable Coin-Operated Skumballclown anytime we feel like it???
What could possibly go wrong?
 
2014-05-16 04:39:02 PM
Signed, Weedlord Bonerhitler
 
2014-05-16 04:40:22 PM
Might have to dip into the really old school, like Lackwit and  honey fuggler.
 
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