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(STLToday)   Reverend promises to dye his hair red and blue if 400 people attended Sunday school (w/pic)   ( divider line
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14736 clicks; posted to Main » on 09 Feb 2004 at 1:04 PM (13 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»

60 Comments     (+0 »)

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2004-02-09 10:30:32 AM  

So he was looking for an excuse, and he found one.

"Now, if we can just hit 500 next week, I'll do even worse and force myself to party at a local college sorority house. Ladies and gentlemen, just wait till you hear what I have planned for the big 6-0-0."

p.s.:That looked kind of sacrilegious to me," she joked after the service.

Does that really sound like a joke? :)

2004-02-09 11:57:30 AM  
I thought this was Landover Baptist for a second there. This story would have been better if the teenagers had tricked him and used real dye instead of spray.

pic for those who don't read the articles:
[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-09 12:52:16 PM  
Tell him to shut up and fly the plane.

Wait, what?
2004-02-09 01:07:28 PM  
The drapes look nice, but how about the carpet?
2004-02-09 01:08:21 PM  
Finally, a pastor with a sense of humor and a good attitude. Oh wait, he's a christian- What a pompous hypocritical a-hole!! OMG LOLROFLMAO!!!!1111|
2004-02-09 01:08:32 PM  
He looks like a moop
2004-02-09 01:11:29 PM  

Johnny rotten ?

[image from too old to be available]

2004-02-09 01:11:31 PM  
The writer of the article seems to think that his "Liberty Spikes" are so named because of the colors...the phrase refers to the Statue of Liberty's crown, and really, the pastor doesn't have that hairstyle anyway. Or maybe his hair's just too thin to get long spikes going.

2004-02-09 01:13:41 PM  
Hurrah! Hurrah! Pennsylva-ni-a!
Hurrah! For the Red and the Blue!
Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah! Hurrah!
Hurrah! For the Red and the Blue!
2004-02-09 01:14:02 PM  
Shrum, 65, was keeping his word to the church's youngsters. He promised to turn over control of his diminishing locks if more than 400 people attended Sunday School last week.

I hate it when elementary school principals do this kind of thing, too.

The kids should respect you. You should not make yourself the butt of their jokes.
2004-02-09 01:14:15 PM  
"It gives me hope for when I'm older," he said. "Because when I'm 70, I can still have cool hair."

Ummm, because in 2059 people will STILL think multicolored spikes are cool? Sadly, the answer is probably yes.
2004-02-09 01:15:13 PM  
"That looked kind of sacrilegious to me..."

I must have missed that passage during Sunday school.

"And the Lord smote the red-and-blue haired, and grieved them sorely."
2004-02-09 01:15:52 PM  
[image from too old to be available]

"c'mon dye it red! It'll be funny!"
2004-02-09 01:17:03 PM  
skinink: "This is not a love psalm!"
2004-02-09 01:17:48 PM  
Hmm, we need something like that at my church to get attendance up. But Rev. Green doesn't have much hair to dye, and getting attendance up to 100 would be a minor miracle right there. But then we don't really have room for 200, let alone 400.
2004-02-09 01:18:33 PM  
wickedmule: excellent! Nearly choked on my tea.
2004-02-09 01:20:30 PM  
"The kids should respect you. You should not make yourself the butt of their jokes."

Its a fine line Beefaroni. It depends on his attitude and demeanor the rest of the time. If he already has their respect, then he looks cool, if they already think heas an idiot, he just gave them more ammo.
2004-02-09 01:21:08 PM  
My priest dresses up as Henry VIII each year at Mardi Gras. There's nothing that'll burn the ol' corneas like seeing a 60-something man in tights, lemme tell ya.
2004-02-09 01:22:25 PM  
Also, my parents took me to an ultra-fundie Baptist church as a kid, and they didn't believe that Jesus would have long hair. As a solution, they did their own amateur paintings of Jesus as a non-hippie tree-huggin liberal. *snicker*
2004-02-09 01:24:28 PM  
My old pastor brought some of his homebrew beer to the church picnic. Tasty stuff
2004-02-09 01:29:16 PM  
Thanks for clueing me in to what liberty spikes are. I asked Jeeves earlier, and he tried to sell me a reconditioned dildo.
2004-02-09 01:30:34 PM  

Agreed. But none my my elementary school principals did anything like this, or, as was on the news here a couple weeks ago, allowed students to duct tape him to the gym wall for reading some high number of books over the winter break.
2004-02-09 01:31:02 PM  
Hooray for having to bribe people to talk to their own supposed god.
2004-02-09 01:41:14 PM  
Wow, his religion is soo cool, he has to resort to freak shows to draw people. Maybe he should just give it up.
2004-02-09 01:47:37 PM  
Turnerbrown - cool!

it's so hard to find a cool pastor. bully for you!
2004-02-09 01:48:05 PM  
Interestingly, one of my early fallings-out with religion was when some of the congregation complained that one of my friends (who had a new hair color every week) should not be involved in any ceremonies because his hair color was "disrespectful". I still want to know what it is disrespectful of, and if it is wrong for him to have blue hair what about all the old ladies!?

/no patience for uptight people
2004-02-09 01:49:05 PM  
"Standing before his flock, poised to perform one of the most sacred rituals of the church, the Rev. Ron Shrum was the picture of solemnity - if you looked past the red and blue spikes of hair surrounding his head like a halo dunked in Kool-Aid."

Then he pass the communion with Jim Jones Kool-Aid drink.

Seriously, why all the goofy tactics I read to bring membership up? Christianity is dying folks. Let it die a dignified death.
2004-02-09 01:57:46 PM  

It raised a few eyes, but not much. It helps that it was a Lutheran Church, with a German background. Beer is just not a big deal, like it is in some other churches.
2004-02-09 01:58:17 PM  
Who would go to school on a Sunday?

That's just plain silly.
2004-02-09 01:59:27 PM  
"They decided "Liberty Spikes" (one side of the head bright red, the other blue)"

ummm, liberty spikes have nothing to do with what color his hair was. its just the style that his hair was in. it sure is hard to find a reporter that knows anythign about modern culture isn't it?

oh and btw, these churches need to stop acting like asshats to try to get young followers. it's not going to work. people have woken up to the bullshiat and organized religon will soon be dead in america. i give it about 100 more years, maybe nto even that much.
2004-02-09 02:00:35 PM  
so what does that mean? bribed with silly slapstick joke to go to church?

Thank you, Jesus.
2004-02-09 02:09:12 PM  
"The only thing wrong with Baptists is that they don't hold them under water long enough."

/said by somebody other than me.
2004-02-09 02:09:24 PM  
It means he's actively involved with the youth of his church. That's a good thing and it's how it should be. If the kids are in Church on Sunday, that's one less day of the week they're trying to steal the stereo out of your car.

It sounds like a lot of you have zero experience with Christian youth education or associations. You sound pretty stupid and worse than the fundies.
2004-02-09 02:12:14 PM  
[image from too old to be available]
Liberty Spikes!!!

[image from too old to be available]
NOT Liberty Spikes!!!
2004-02-09 02:13:12 PM  
What on earth is wrong with having fun while practicing religion? just because you have an opinion about the validity of it, doesn't mean it's not important to others.

oh and btw, these churches need to stop acting like asshats to try to get young followers. it's not going to work. people have woken up to the bullshiat and organized religon will soon be dead in america. i give it about 100 more years, maybe nto even that much.

That sounds to me like you forgot to pull the stick out of your ass this morning. rather than sounding like a bigoted jerk, try being open minded about things.
2004-02-09 02:14:26 PM  
I saw the "with you always" pic and just had to share the remix I tossed together ages ago.

[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-09 02:17:12 PM  


I think I peed a little on that one.

Still can't stop laughing! Just looking at that shiat-eating grin on JC. Pun intended.
2004-02-09 02:21:27 PM  
Gawd how pathetic.

I guess it isn't easier for this d00d to concede that young people could care less than doodly-squat about "religion" *cough*...
2004-02-09 02:22:31 PM  

That's hilarious! I think a "With you always" Photoshop is on order!
2004-02-09 02:44:28 PM  
The Lord provided 409.

[image from too old to be available]

Too many possibilities... I'm joke-locked.
2004-02-09 02:46:22 PM  
Pastor Shroom, you say? yeah I'll go to Sunday School.

/turns his hymnal to page 125 and sings "Dark Side of the Moon"
2004-02-09 02:51:22 PM  
Sunday school? The PTA and teacher's union couldn't block this??
2004-02-09 03:05:54 PM  
Anyone else see the skit on Mad T.V? With the "kid" thatwears the gloves and has a genius twin? She and Jesus were friends,but, she was the only one who could see him.
They had her on some Evangelical show and Jesus was making fart sounds every time she sat down. It was funny...guess you had to be there.
2004-02-09 03:08:53 PM  
People here have said that pastors, for the sake of obtaining more congregants, are sacrificing their dignity. Maybe they're just modernizing.
2004-02-09 03:12:37 PM  
Im probably wrong about this but --
"People here have said that pastors, for the sake of obtaining more congregants, are sacrificing their dignity. Maybe they're just modernizing."

Or perhaps they're just too ignorant to know that some of Christian doctrines like pride is a sin and humility is a virtue. Far too few ministers lead by example these days.
2004-02-09 03:22:28 PM  
The funny thing about my name is that whenever someone quotes me, they sound really modest.
2004-02-09 03:25:33 PM  

You know, they say that cleanliness is next to Godliness.
2004-02-09 03:36:01 PM  
Awesome. I'd start going to church again if my priest-type dude dyed his hair some funky color. Make it fun, you know?
2004-02-09 03:46:50 PM  
He's being sacrilegious again. RAM HIM! RAM HIM! For MY SAKE RAM HIM!
[image from too old to be available]
2004-02-09 03:57:26 PM  
In the olden days, the church used to offer stuff like miracles and the answers to life's mysteries. Now it's funny hair colors.

Yeah, that certainly increases the credibility of their fairytales.
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