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(CNN)   Words you never want to hear from a space agency: "part of the rocket could be in a 'non-intended orbit'"   (cnn.com) divider line 54
    More: Interesting, Space Agency, Russians, Russian space rocket, space launch  
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2014-05-16 03:22:58 PM  
good thing they NEVER use the proton to launch humans ...
 
2014-05-16 05:54:55 PM  
"Houston...we have a problem"
 
2014-05-16 05:56:47 PM  
Send Jebidiah to fix it!
 
2014-05-16 05:57:31 PM  
i.imgur.com
needs moar boosters
 
2014-05-16 05:58:03 PM  
Thanks, CIA
 
2014-05-16 05:58:43 PM  
I'm not sure they appreciate the Gravity of this situation.
 
2014-05-16 05:59:17 PM  
Was totally blown up by an unidentified craft, btw. The youtube experts have deduced this from not one but two blurry pixels.
 
2014-05-16 05:59:30 PM  
Ell Oh Effin Ell.
 
2014-05-16 06:00:42 PM  

Doktor_Zhivago: [i.imgur.com image 800x450]
needs moar boosters


Someone is using KSP Interstellar.

/would use it, if they would fix heat mechanics in LKO.
//Near-Future propulsion pack is fun.
 
2014-05-16 06:01:43 PM  
Dont worry, 9 times out of 10 there is no problem.
What happens on the tenth time?
Problem.
 
2014-05-16 06:02:08 PM  
When your rocket starts going horizontal you may have a problem.
 
2014-05-16 06:05:03 PM  

uncleacid: When your rocket starts going horizontal you may have a problem.


Nah. You're just maximizing the gravity of the body you're launching from to exponentially increase your launch velocity and altitude of orbit.

Although this is all the more reason why we need the X-37C, Orion, and the commercial spacecraft CST-100, DragonRider, DreamChaser, and Blue Origin operational.
 
2014-05-16 06:05:33 PM  
This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...
 
2014-05-16 06:07:13 PM  
Good news everyone!

Neil deGrasse Tyson will have someone new to hilariously troll soon.
 
2014-05-16 06:12:07 PM  

carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...


Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out
 
2014-05-16 06:15:30 PM  

uncleacid: When your rocket starts going horizontal you may have a problem.


upload.wikimedia.org
 
2014-05-16 06:15:58 PM  

Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out


Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.
 
2014-05-16 06:16:55 PM  
"Nine minutes after the Proton-M rocket lifted off in Baikonur, Kazakhstan, on Friday, officials on the ground lost contact with the it,..."
Nice work CNN.
 
2014-05-16 06:18:16 PM  
I see the KSP references have been made already.
 
2014-05-16 06:26:34 PM  

Doktor_Zhivago: needs moar boosters


I have that problem in Kerbal Space Program. I put too many of the big solid fuel boosters on a smaller craft. I accidentally sent one of my Kerbals into a solar orbit that eventually took the unfortunate Kerbal out of the solar system. In my defense; how was I supposed to know that adding 18 boosters to a little craft would do that.

/ My issue has always been getting back down once I'm in orbit.
 
2014-05-16 06:29:02 PM  
public.media.smithsonianmag.com
 
2014-05-16 06:29:10 PM  

namatad: good thing they NEVER use the proton to launch humans ...


I'm guessing you're being sarcastic, but don't know.

Unfortunately it might take Russia killing a couple of our astronauts to get some funding for NASA.
 
2014-05-16 06:42:28 PM  
II hope it wasn't IKON.
 
2014-05-16 06:44:13 PM  

Lonestar: Dont worry, 9 times out of 10 there is no problem.
What happens on the tenth time?
Problem.


How many times have you done this?

Um... 9?
 
2014-05-16 06:47:35 PM  
If it did, it hasn't made it into the catalog yet.
 
2014-05-16 06:50:45 PM  

0z79: Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out

Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.


One slight problem with that example. You can never throw something fast enough to put it orbit. You have to increase your velocity near the top of your trajectory so that you'll miss the earth as you fall.
 
2014-05-16 06:57:23 PM  

Tobin_Lam: 0z79: Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out

Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.

One slight problem with that example. You can never throw something fast enough to put it orbit. You have to increase your velocity near the top of your trajectory so that you'll miss the earth as you fall.


Neglecting the atmosphere, his description is correct.  He's throwing the apple horizontally from the top of the mountain.  If you could throw it at circular orbital velocity for that altitude, it would achieve orbit and come back to hit you in the back of the head on the order of 70 or so minutes later (neglecting lots of other things).
 
2014-05-16 07:02:39 PM  

Lamberts Ho Man: Tobin_Lam: 0z79: Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out

Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.

One slight problem with that example. You can never throw something fast enough to put it orbit. You have to increase your velocity near the top of your trajectory so that you'll miss the earth as you fall.

Neglecting the atmosphere, his description is correct.  He's throwing the apple horizontally from the top of the mountain.  If you could throw it at circular orbital velocity for that altitude, it would achieve orbit and come back to hit you in the back of the head on the order of 70 or so minutes later (neglecting lots of other things).


That's why I always carry a baseball glove. You never know.
 
2014-05-16 07:08:47 PM  

saturn badger: Lamberts Ho Man: Tobin_Lam: 0z79: Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out

Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.

One slight problem with that example. You can never throw something fast enough to put it orbit. You have to increase your velocity near the top of your trajectory so that you'll miss the earth as you fall.

Neglecting the atmosphere, his description is correct.  He's throwing the apple horizontally from the top of the mountain.  If you could throw it at circular orbital velocity for that altitude, it would achieve orbit and come back to hit you in the back of the head on the order of 70 or so minutes later (neglecting lots of other things).

That's why I always carry a baseball glove. You never know.


Hope it's got a kevlar pocket - will be coming at you at about 7.9 km/second
 
2014-05-16 07:11:52 PM  

iheartscotch: Doktor_Zhivago: needs moar boosters

I have that problem in Kerbal Space Program. I put too many of the big solid fuel boosters on a smaller craft. I accidentally sent one of my Kerbals into a solar orbit that eventually took the unfortunate Kerbal out of the solar system. In my defense; how was I supposed to know that adding 18 boosters to a little craft would do that.

/ My issue has always been getting back down once I'm in orbit.


Are you some kinda terrorist? Went to rocket school but skipped the landing part.
 
2014-05-16 07:13:59 PM  

Tobin_Lam: 0z79: Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out

Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.

One slight problem with that example. You can never throw something fast enough to put it orbit. You have to increase your velocity near the top of your trajectory so that you'll miss the earth as you fall.


It helps if someone distracts you at the last second.
 
2014-05-16 07:15:46 PM  
Hey, is this NASA? Did you guys lose part of a rocket, about 30 tons, maybe, sort of conical on the end?

Oh, I'm fine, just planting the back 40.

You did? Did it have three guys in it?

Well, I have some good news and some bad news.

Yes, I'll hold.

(Doot dee doot de dooty dooty doot)

Hello, yes, three astronauts.

Well, I had to shoot one. He thought he was on Mars. Been reading too much Ray Bradbury is my guess. Ever see that Abbot and Costello movie, Abbot & Costello go to Mars? Why do they never go to Mars? They land in New Orleans and then they go to Venus but thy never step foot on Mars. Weird, eh?

Well, yes, I can get back on topic. I had to shoot one of your guys to keep him quiet. He's not dead. I used buckshot. It's cheaper and better at keeping crows away.

When can you pick them up?

Well, the farm is on the McKenzie road about four miles past the Old Haversham place. Which state? How the Hell should I know? I just farm it, I don't run it.
 
2014-05-16 07:31:44 PM  

uncleacid: When your rocket starts going horizontal you may have a problem.


Most of the energy expended during an orbital launch is used horizontally.  They just do the vertical climb first to get out of the atmosphere.

Tobin_Lam: One slight problem with that example. You can never throw something fast enough to put it orbit. You have to increase your velocity near the top of your trajectory so that you'll miss the earth as you fall.


Actually, you can.  Stand on the highest point in the area on an airless body, throw hard enough.  Since you're standing on the high point the low point of the orbit will be a few feet above the body.  You throw hard enough that the orbit is elliptical, your launch point is the closest approach.

If someone builds a sufficiently flexible spacesuit it's actually feasible on asteroids of the right size.
 
2014-05-16 07:31:50 PM  

meat0918: Send Jebidiah to fix it!


Yeah... about that...

i301.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-16 07:47:04 PM  

0z79: Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out

Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.


I'm thrilled at the discussion my comment spawned, especially the hitchhiker reference.  Sad that everyone missed my xkcd reference to the "Up Goer 5".

http://xkcd.com/1133/

Folks bring up a good point that it is technically wrong for achieving orbit, (though not if you intend on reaching escape velocity)... really it is generally applicable if discussing launch and the first stage though.
 
2014-05-16 07:52:19 PM  

Chigroe Please: iheartscotch: Doktor_Zhivago: needs moar boosters

I have that problem in Kerbal Space Program. I put too many of the big solid fuel boosters on a smaller craft. I accidentally sent one of my Kerbals into a solar orbit that eventually took the unfortunate Kerbal out of the solar system. In my defense; how was I supposed to know that adding 18 boosters to a little craft would do that.

/ My issue has always been getting back down once I'm in orbit.

Are you some kinda terrorist? Went to rocket school but skipped the landing part.


Nope, just not so good with the whole rocket surgery bit. When I first started; my creations had an unfortunate habit of exploding on the launch pad or going horribly off course and requiring me to separate the command module early in the hopes of saving the crew. It's a very fun; but, a very difficult game to play. It's pretty funny to see what happens to the poor little green bastards that have the misfortune to ride in one of my creations.
 
2014-05-16 07:57:17 PM  
This is just Putin's attempt to distract people from Ukraine.
 
2014-05-16 08:10:20 PM  
Remind me not to make any comments in a brain surgery thread.
 
2014-05-16 08:15:02 PM  

Lamberts Ho Man: saturn badger: Lamberts Ho Man: Tobin_Lam: 0z79: Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out

Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.

One slight problem with that example. You can never throw something fast enough to put it orbit. You have to increase your velocity near the top of your trajectory so that you'll miss the earth as you fall.

Neglecting the atmosphere, his description is correct.  He's throwing the apple horizontally from the top of the mountain.  If you could throw it at circular orbital velocity for that altitude, it would achieve orbit and come back to hit you in the back of the head on the order of 70 or so minutes later (neglecting lots of other things).

That's why I always carry a baseball glove. You never know.

Hope it's got a kevlar pocket - will be coming at you at about 7.9 km/second


Something something screens on jet engines, something something about flak jackets....
/ and Friday beers
 
2014-05-16 08:16:14 PM  
I think that there is a place for private space travel, but the US needs to be there too.    This is a good use of money, lots of hard problems to solve in space that may make life better here.
 
2014-05-16 08:43:20 PM  
That's a nice space program you have there.  Be a shame if something was to happen to it while you were busy invading the Ukraine.
 
2014-05-16 09:16:54 PM  

i.imgur.com

 
2014-05-16 09:18:29 PM  
SpdrJay

Good news everyone!

Neil deGrasse Tyson will have someone new to hilariously troll soon.

Which one of Sagan's lines will he use?
 
2014-05-16 09:25:00 PM  

carterjw: 0z79: Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out

Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.

I'm thrilled at the discussion my comment spawned, especially the hitchhiker reference.  Sad that everyone missed my xkcd reference to the "Up Goer 5".

http://xkcd.com/1133/

Folks bring up a good point that it is technically wrong for achieving orbit, (though not if you intend on reaching escape velocity)... really it is generally applicable if discussing launch and the first stage though.


Actually the main reason is because the atmosphere starts acting really strange as a rocket accelerates from the launch pad to the stratosphere, and to keep the rocket from being sent into an uncontrollable spin by the fluid dynamics, it's pointed straight up to get it as far from the ground and lower atmosphere as quickly as possible before any non-perpendicular trajectories are attempted. Lacking an atmosphere, it's better to launch in 45 degree trajectory in the direction of your escape vector to achieve the velocity needed as fuel-efficiently as possible.

/this is also the reason the weather has to be just right before a launch is even attempted
//Apollo lunar modules still took off from the moon vertically, because the complexity of engineering an ascent module that could launch at an angle would cause other non-trivial structural problems for the descent and landing phase
 
2014-05-16 09:33:26 PM  

OnlyM3: SpdrJay

Good news everyone!

Neil deGrasse Tyson will have someone new to hilariously troll soon.
Which one of Sagan's lines will he use?


"Intellectual brilliance is no guarantee against being dead wrong".
CS
 
2014-05-16 09:55:58 PM  
i.imgur.com
/hunting...
//preys on unattended boosters
 
2014-05-16 11:38:20 PM  

Lamberts Ho Man: saturn badger: Lamberts Ho Man: Tobin_Lam: 0z79: Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out

Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.

One slight problem with that example. You can never throw something fast enough to put it orbit. You have to increase your velocity near the top of your trajectory so that you'll miss the earth as you fall.

Neglecting the atmosphere, his description is correct.  He's throwing the apple horizontally from the top of the mountain.  If you could throw it at circular orbital velocity for that altitude, it would achieve orbit and come back to hit you in the back of the head on the order of 70 or so minutes later (neglecting lots of other things).

That's why I always carry a baseball glove. You never know.

Hope it's got a kevlar pocket - will be coming at you at about 7.9 km/second


Off to Amazon I go.
 
2014-05-17 12:45:45 AM  

Tatterdemalian: //Apollo lunar modules still took off from the moon vertically, because the complexity of engineering an ascent module that could launch at an angle would cause other non-trivial structural problems for the descent and landing phase


I can't imagine it would be worthwhile to launch at anything other than vertical.  To lift off at an angle means the base has to be more complex and that's more weight you have to bring along.  Better to lift off straight and then turn.
 
2014-05-17 01:17:24 AM  

J. Frank Parnell: Was totally blown up by an unidentified craft, btw. The youtube experts have deduced this from not one but two blurry pixels.


It was MH370...
 
2014-05-17 02:39:08 AM  

0z79: Tatterdemalian: carterjw: This end should point toward the ground if you want to go to space...

Actually keeping that end pointed at the ground pretty much guarantees that, even if you do make it to space, you won't be staying there, or coming back in one piece...

/you have to aim for an orbital trajectory
//not a parabolic one that ends in a crater as soon as the fuel runs out

Pretty much this.. the example I heard first was throwing an apple from the top of Mount Everest hard enough that, by the time its trajectory would have made it go splat, it's going fast enough to just keep "falling" around the Earth, as long as it can maintain that velocity.


That's actually a really awesome visualization.  Thanks.
 
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