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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: I told everyone that my teacher hurt me and she got fired because of my allegations. Problem was, I was lying and I kinda feel bad about it. Should I say something or am I okay forgetting all about it?"   (slate.com ) divider line 44
    More: Fail, allegations, Innocence Project, teachers  
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13220 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2014 at 10:15 AM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


Archived thread
2014-05-16 09:16:25 AM  
10 votes:
I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.
2014-05-16 10:50:54 AM  
3 votes:

idesofmarch: Anybody remember the episode of the TV show "Sliders" where the characters couldn't lie because they all had on shock collars that would buzz them if they did?

We should do that.


I try to avoid any rules that would prevent people from hiding Jews in the attic.
2014-05-16 10:28:54 AM  
3 votes:
Relax Granny.  Teach died long ago, unemployable, broken, drunk, and homeless.
2014-05-16 10:28:27 AM  
3 votes:
Dear Guilty:

Pinch yourself on the arm, kiss your grandchildren goodbye, then jump off the nearest bridge.

--Fomby
2014-05-16 10:21:16 AM  
3 votes:

gfid: Dear Prudence,

Everyone knows the letters people write to you are fake.

How the fark do you keep getting greenlit on Fark?


I think these are like food threads, a place where we can let our opinions run around and stretch.
2014-05-16 10:19:50 AM  
3 votes:
Dear Prudence,

Everyone knows the letters people write to you are fake.

How the fark do you keep getting greenlit on Fark?
2014-05-16 01:07:23 PM  
2 votes:

Cletus C.: What a little biatch. And she grew into an old coont who now wants forgiveness.


That was what struck me as the weird thing about this letter. No idea how old she is, but assume it's been 40 years since the incident at least - and she's still that pathetic little girl wanting the pat on the head and the "poor baby" from her mother. And the worst part is that rather than tell her to get over herself, Prudie just goes ahead and gives it to her.

Somewhere out there is a woman who spent the rest of her life wondering how one of the children she'd dedicated her life to helping would be such a sociopath as to trash her career like that.
2014-05-16 10:48:06 AM  
2 votes:
Not trying to sound like that guy, but anyone ever noticed that it was no mass school shooting back when schools dished out corporal punishment
2014-05-16 10:45:45 AM  
2 votes:
Anybody remember the episode of the TV show "Sliders" where the characters couldn't lie because they all had on shock collars that would buzz them if they did?

We should do that.
2014-05-16 10:33:22 AM  
2 votes:
And reason 423 why I don't teach in K12.
2014-05-16 10:31:09 AM  
2 votes:
The best reply would've of been "You should kill yourself.  It's the only way to restore honor to your family".  Actually, that's often the best answer to the questions in her column.
2014-05-16 10:30:20 AM  
2 votes:
Assuming that she's regular grandmother age (I'm assuming 60s), I have a hard time believing that a teacher would be fired or at risk for criminal charges for pinching a student back when she was a schoolgirl.  Mild corporal punishment in schools was pretty common in the US until at least the late 60s.
2014-05-16 10:28:58 AM  
2 votes:
Hopefully the teacher will read the column, track down the writer and forgive her, on the 28th stab to the chest.
2014-05-16 10:26:31 AM  
2 votes:
It was worse if you went to a school taught by nuns.  They would call your parents at night to tell them why you got you ass kicked and the parents would add a few smacks because a bride-of-Christ said you were bad.
2014-05-16 10:25:37 AM  
2 votes:

rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.


or not kicking your ass again.
2014-05-16 09:10:35 AM  
2 votes:

PreMortem: If the story is true, which I doubt any dear prudence is, the details should be handed over to law enforcement to identify the idiot.


/dnrtfa


IF this story is true, it's probably well past the statute of limitations. She said she was a child when it happened and now she's a grandmother.
2014-05-16 08:59:12 AM  
2 votes:
If the story is true, which I doubt any dear prudence is, the details should be handed over to law enforcement to identify the idiot.


/dnrtfa
2014-05-16 08:06:37 AM  
2 votes:
I prefer the next letter about the guy intentionally showing his junk and claiming he left his fly down
2014-05-16 02:07:02 PM  
1 vote:
When I was in third grade we had a psycho nun.  You never heard a peep or a giggle in that class.  We were learning cursive and one of her pet peeves included you putting your face to close to the paper.  So she would walk up the rows from the back and if your head was close to the paper she would hit you with a gigantic teachers edition math book.  She gave several kids a bloody nose and I swear she broke one kids nose.  Kids were too terrified to tell on her and even if we did, the parents were all on the side of the nuns/priests.

Everyone was terrified to even ask to go to the bathroom.  One day there was a horrible smell in the classroom.  A girl pooped in her pencil box and put it back in her desk because she was that terrified to ask to go to the bathroom.  That same year I ended up in the hospital with a kidney infection because I got a UTI and wouldn't drink enough water because I needed to avoid asking to use the bathroom while in her room.

She also checked your desks one a week and about every third week things got a little messy for me and she would pick my desk up over her head and shake out all the contents and you would have to gather everything up and put it back in.  If it wasn't to her satisfaction, she would do it all over again.

Of course Karma shows up on occasion even in Catholic Schools and she went off the deep end and ended up in the nut ward.  I heard later on she was not longer a nun, so I suspect she got kicked out.  Sister Agnes....what a total biatch that woman was.
2014-05-16 11:54:57 AM  
1 vote:

drjekel_mrhyde: Not trying to sound like that guy, but anyone ever noticed that it was no mass school shooting back when schools dished out corporal punishment


This!!!
2014-05-16 11:51:22 AM  
1 vote:

The One True TheDavid: Wangiss: Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?

The half-Mexican-half-Cubana my age at my church had breasts at 9.

Breasts aren't what's relevant. She still probably didn't bleed till she was 12 or so, and the ability to actually get pregnant and carry to term takes a few months or a year.

So you'd have had about three years of safe experimentation, along with her brothers, her cousins and the old man next door.


She was menstruating at 9 as well. Chicks talk about everything. They just keep talking. It's like Fark IRL.
2014-05-16 11:46:26 AM  
1 vote:

Por que tan serioso: RussianPooper: rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.

I'm 48 and it was never okay for teachers to hit kids where I grew up in the Bay Area.

I went to grammer school at Haws in Redwood City and then Antioch in South SF in the early 80's. Principal had a cricket bat with holes drilled in it.


My 6th grade middle school social studies teacher (around 1985) had a wall of paddles of different sizes and shapes that were used for "birthday paddling" (you at least go to pick which one).   He did a lot of "oddball" things though... I remember him sticking one kid who was kind of weird/spazzy in his office (connected to the classroom with a glass window in between) and put a sticky note on the window saying something like "Don't feed the animals" or something alluding to that he was on "display".

My grade school principal also did "birthday spankings".

/teachers got away with a lot more stuff before the 90s
2014-05-16 11:43:44 AM  
1 vote:

Wangiss: Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?

The half-Mexican-half-Cubana my age at my church had breasts at 9.


My wife is half Irish and half Mexican from a family of ten. She has nine sisters. They all had at least d cups by 12.

/ Not that I've noticed
2014-05-16 11:26:16 AM  
1 vote:

The One True TheDavid: Roughing The Snapper:

I went to Catholic elementary school in the '80s and we had a nun that taught computer class.

Was she very old or very foreign? I seem to recall reading years ago that almost no young women were going into nunneries and they had to import nuns from 3rd world countries where the Church was still strong and women were still desperate.

A 2012 Reuters article says "There are more nuns over age 90 than there are under age 60, according to the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate at Georgetown University." That probably hasn't changed much in the past two years.

These days Catholic women would rather be priests instead. Instead of Episcopalian or atheist, for some reason: concerning the RC Church the best way to accomplish things like improve the role of women, the conduct of the clergy and the dogmatism of the Holy See would be for everybody who doesn't like the Church to leave it.


Good!  Hope the whole thing dies out.  Nothing but a bunch of repressed pyschos, who were probably lesbians, but, just could wrap their holy jane minds around the concept and admit it, and took their frustrations out on the kids.  The Sisters of Mercy had no mercy.  Yeah, I know I was a major pain in the ass when I was a kid, but still they were insane.
2014-05-16 11:22:43 AM  
1 vote:
3.bp.blogspot.com
2014-05-16 11:21:22 AM  
1 vote:
I preferred the next letter where the husband whips his dick out whenever the wife has friends over.... I'd expect this story to be on the news soon and linked from Fark.

And the following one about the sister... that's just pathetic.. they give the girl a home after the death of the parents, and now.. GTFO? If that sister was as nice as what was the impression I got, this woman should remove her head from her ass and realize that this kid is part of the family, and so should be happy to have her around... The kid isn't even going to be around for most of the time and such, leave her with the knowledge that she had a home and was wanted instead of this crap.  The husband (the brother) really needs to biatch his wife out and get her to put herself in the kid's shoes and see how that feels like.
2014-05-16 11:18:58 AM  
1 vote:

The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.


You don't many Mexicans do you?
2014-05-16 11:12:09 AM  
1 vote:

FarkingReading: I'm 37. My first-grade teacher used to wait for kids to start fiddling with stuff inside their desks by opening the lids (or desk tops) only a little bit and then she'd sit on top of the desks, smashing kids' fingers between the desk tops and the desk base.

Then she'd pretend to be confused about what happened.

It was frightening.


Where was her first teaching job, Auschwitz?
2014-05-16 10:58:28 AM  
1 vote:
In the 90's to early 2000's, central Louisiana had corporal punishment.  I remember being in fourth grade and having these paper slips passed around the class.  These weren't permission slips to beat your kids, they were slips to EXEMPT your kid from being physically punished.  The default position in the schools was that the teachers were allowed to paddle, grab and lift a child by the arm, and pull you around by the ear in school on through high school (though I wager it stuck with mostly paddling as the kids got taller than the teachers).

FWIW, it didn't help.  Most of the kids would return to whatever they did that initiated punishment immediately after receiving their paddling.  My parents signed the form, and punished me at home.  I would rather have had the paddling at school.
2014-05-16 10:55:13 AM  
1 vote:
And, the Beatles should sue the crap out of this charlatan.
2014-05-16 10:55:04 AM  
1 vote:
These threads are for us to practice our creative writing skills.

Dear Prudence,

I'm a narcoleptic, nymphomaniac midget with a little Thanksgiving problem.  There's just something about the presentation of the Thanksgiving turkey with it's sexy legs all trussed up and it's cavity-vagina just calling to me, I can't help but jump up on the table and go to town.  The problem is that almost instantly after the deed is finished (I'm so worked up this is usually no longer than 30 seconds), my narcolepsy kicks in and I pass out half naked on the feast beast.  My question is, do you think if I drank a lot of coffee right before the turkey came out of the oven that I could stay awake long enough to sneak away after I came in it?  Also, I've got a little problem I picked up from a dead diseased transformer in Thailand a couple years ago.  Is it proper etiquette to wear a condom or do I need to notify everyone at dinner next year?

Thanks,

The Turkey Tiddler
2014-05-16 10:53:48 AM  
1 vote:

rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.


I saw Misses Graham whack Cris Burning's ass with a frat boy paddle several times.  Each whack knocked Chris off his feet.  It was a small school and everyone had to have heard those whacks.  I prayed to every god I could think of that if they got me in to the non-Mrs Graham fourth grade, I'd be a priest, a rabbi or a buddist monk.  Who ever took the credit got me.  Fourth Grade:  Mrs. Graham.  Sat me in the front row right in front of that damn paddle.  That year, the world lost a priest, rabbi and or buddist monk.

The only thing I took away from that class is that Mrs Graham thought the peace sign (just gaining in popularity) was a broken cross which indicated no god.  Had I used that to my advantage, I would have wound up in the hallway getting whacked with a huge frat boy paddle by a monster sized woman.  My previous transgressions had mainly been sneaking out of school early but she stuck me front and center and convinced me that school wasn't voluntary and I wasn't allowed to leave when I got my fill.

On library days, get in line, let the teacher count noses.  Step out of the line and leave.  After lunch, there was a formation in the hall or outside.  Wait for the teacher to count the noses, step in to the alcove of a classroom and let them pass.  Out the door, across the street and in to the forest preserve.  When you hear the school busses, go home.  The perfect crime and I was neither a PITA in class or a vocal know-it-all so I blended in.  The perfect crime until the 4th grade.  Mrs. Graham:  Harry, lead your row back to class.  While the school would never miss one kid in 1966, if I had led a line of kids out of the school, some one would have noticed.
2014-05-16 10:47:33 AM  
1 vote:
Fake letter is fake, obviously. At least try and make it plausible.

I went to Catholic elementary school in the '80s and we had a nun that taught computer class. My buddy was a little dipshiat who loved to do exactly the opposite of what he was told to do. The nun was showing us how to use a computer program that required a change of the floppy disk to move forward in the program. She explicitly told us not to eject the disk while the little red light was on. So what does he do? He ejects it while the red light is on.

The nun hulked out and grabbed him by the back of the collar on his standard-issue powder blue polo shirt and flung him out of his chair to the ground. None of us were horrified. We all just had a good laugh and got back to work. Nothing ever happened to her. As far as I know, sister could still be hulking out on third graders.
2014-05-16 10:40:00 AM  
1 vote:

someonelse: rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.

How old are you. I'm in my 40s and some of my classmates are grandparents. And teachers weren't allowed to whomp on us in school.


I'm 42.  I got corporal punishment for sure and my mom told me what I got at school I'd get twice as bad at home.
2014-05-16 10:38:33 AM  
1 vote:

rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.


I'm 48 and it was never okay for teachers to hit kids where I grew up in the Bay Area.
2014-05-16 10:37:37 AM  
1 vote:

rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.


This is what I came in to say.  My mother would have smacked me for pissing off the teacher
2014-05-16 10:37:18 AM  
1 vote:
If true, she's earned her right to a pre-mortem funeral pyre.
2014-05-16 10:35:56 AM  
1 vote:

rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.


For real when I was in 5th grade I had a teacher that would throw things at the kids or smack the back of their heads. She I'm sure stayed on for many a year till retirement. That was in the 80's.
2014-05-16 10:35:20 AM  
1 vote:
You already know, Guilty, that what you did happened so long ago that there is little likelihood you could find this teacher-and I don't think you should start searching. After she left your school, the chances are that she developed an addiction to drugs or alcohol and ended up broken, destitute and lonely.
2014-05-16 10:29:59 AM  
1 vote:
More shocked by the letter that lady wrote about pushing her husband's orphan sister out of the nest.

What a cold, heartless, unfeeling biatch.  This isn't a pound puppy for Christ's sake.
2014-05-16 10:29:37 AM  
1 vote:

rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.


How old are you. I'm in my 40s and some of my classmates are grandparents. And teachers weren't allowed to whomp on us in school.
2014-05-16 10:29:24 AM  
1 vote:

rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.


Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.
2014-05-16 10:22:54 AM  
1 vote:
What a little biatch. And she grew into an old coont who now wants forgiveness.
2014-05-16 10:22:03 AM  
1 vote:

rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.


This
 
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