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(Slate)   "Dear Prudence: I told everyone that my teacher hurt me and she got fired because of my allegations. Problem was, I was lying and I kinda feel bad about it. Should I say something or am I okay forgetting all about it?"   (slate.com) divider line 138
    More: Fail, allegations, Innocence Project, teachers  
•       •       •

13173 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2014 at 10:15 AM (42 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



138 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-16 10:54:39 AM  
I was looking at Emily's mouth, and I think I would let her give me a "hummer", and it would be a good one.  I know that's got nothing to do with the story, but, I just wanted to mention that, because I like to share my thoughts.

I believe I'm a very interesting fellow.
 
2014-05-16 10:55:04 AM  
These threads are for us to practice our creative writing skills.

Dear Prudence,

I'm a narcoleptic, nymphomaniac midget with a little Thanksgiving problem.  There's just something about the presentation of the Thanksgiving turkey with it's sexy legs all trussed up and it's cavity-vagina just calling to me, I can't help but jump up on the table and go to town.  The problem is that almost instantly after the deed is finished (I'm so worked up this is usually no longer than 30 seconds), my narcolepsy kicks in and I pass out half naked on the feast beast.  My question is, do you think if I drank a lot of coffee right before the turkey came out of the oven that I could stay awake long enough to sneak away after I came in it?  Also, I've got a little problem I picked up from a dead diseased tranny in Thailand a couple years ago.  Is it proper etiquette to wear a condom or do I need to notify everyone at dinner next year?

Thanks,

The Turkey Tiddler
 
2014-05-16 10:55:05 AM  

kbronsito: idesofmarch: Anybody remember the episode of the TV show "Sliders" where the characters couldn't lie because they all had on shock collars that would buzz them if they did?

We should do that.

I like the one where a virus killed 90% of the population with Y chromosomes and the remaining men were placed into breeding centers where they would work out, sleep and fark. I've been trying to develop that bio weapon (and a small supply of the vaccine) but have yet succeed.


I always thought if feminists really wanted the upper hand they would go all Indo-Chinese and abort female fetuses.

Cattus, glad you didn't break a tooth.
 
2014-05-16 10:55:13 AM  
And, the Beatles should sue the crap out of this charlatan.
 
2014-05-16 10:56:32 AM  

ChrisDe: In the late 60s and early 70s, we got spanked regularly. We deserved it.  And we liked PAID EXTRA FOR it.


you're welcome.
 
2014-05-16 10:58:05 AM  

Shazam999: techgeek07: The best reply would've of been "You should kill yourself.  It's the only way to restore honor to your family".  Actually, that's often the best answer to the questions in her column.

You shall now get a beating from the grammar nazi.


What if I just lie about it and get him fired first?
 
2014-05-16 10:58:28 AM  
In the 90's to early 2000's, central Louisiana had corporal punishment.  I remember being in fourth grade and having these paper slips passed around the class.  These weren't permission slips to beat your kids, they were slips to EXEMPT your kid from being physically punished.  The default position in the schools was that the teachers were allowed to paddle, grab and lift a child by the arm, and pull you around by the ear in school on through high school (though I wager it stuck with mostly paddling as the kids got taller than the teachers).

FWIW, it didn't help.  Most of the kids would return to whatever they did that initiated punishment immediately after receiving their paddling.  My parents signed the form, and punished me at home.  I would rather have had the paddling at school.
 
2014-05-16 10:59:53 AM  
FTFA: "Sometimes accusers make things up, and that sometimes people who proclaim their innocence are telling the truth."

Even when they dress funny.

Anyway.

I don't know when corporal punishment was forbidden in Baltimore City Schools, but I'm pretty sure it was illegal in my elementary school days or my 3rd grade teacher Mrs. Rigby would have slapped the white right off my rice in 1970-1. And Mr. August, the (Vice-?) Principal, would have applauded.

In 4th grade Mrs. Pelzer would crumble chalk in her claws and rage at me. And Mrs. Monocrusos, the principal of the second school they sentenced me to for 4th grade, told me I should never have been born and it'd be best for society to lock me up in an institution for the rest of my life.

In 8th grade I dropped out. There was no way anybody could make me go back there. And nobody but my parents seemed to mind.
 
2014-05-16 11:00:54 AM  

RussianPooper: rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.

I'm 48 and it was never okay for teachers to hit kids where I grew up in the Bay Area.


The last two words of that statement explains why. You probably was raised and taught by some damn hippies
 
2014-05-16 11:01:29 AM  

chachi88: Late-60's my elementary school principal carried a ping-pong paddle in his back pocket. "Boys, grab your ankles!"


I know a football coach at Penn St that used to say that
 
2014-05-16 11:02:31 AM  

gambitsgirl: someonelse: rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.

How old are you. I'm in my 40s and some of my classmates are grandparents. And teachers weren't allowed to whomp on us in school.

I'm 42.  I got corporal punishment for sure and my mom told me what I got at school I'd get twice as bad at home.


You're pretty hot. Was your mom hot?  I might have signed up for a little of that, because I can be a very bad little boy.
 
2014-05-16 11:02:51 AM  

ChrisDe: In the late 60s and early 70s, we got spanked regularly. We deserved it.  And we liked it.


Dear Penthouse...
 
2014-05-16 11:04:26 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Not trying to sound like that guy, but anyone ever noticed that it was no mass school shooting back when schools dished out corporal punishment


1) Corporal punishment is still legal in half the country (see my link upthread).
2) Individual school shootings occurred more often the further back you go. Overall, schools have lower homicide rates.

BTW: if you have a source that goes back further than the ones I found, please let me know. Statistics geek here - always on the lookout for good sources.
 
2014-05-16 11:04:55 AM  

naughtyrev: I prefer the next letter about the guy intentionally showing his junk and claiming he left his fly down


Oh, should I not be.doing that?
 
2014-05-16 11:08:50 AM  
I'm 37. My first-grade teacher used to wait for kids to start fiddling with stuff inside their desks by opening the lids (or desk tops) only a little bit and then she'd sit on top of the desks, smashing kids' fingers between the desk tops and the desk base.

Then she'd pretend to be confused about what happened.

It was frightening.
 
2014-05-16 11:09:40 AM  

baufan2005: naughtyrev: I prefer the next letter about the guy intentionally showing his junk and claiming he left his fly down

Oh, should I not be.doing that?


Especially when you wander into the women's restroom.  You should know, that's frowned upon in some states.
 
2014-05-16 11:12:09 AM  

FarkingReading: I'm 37. My first-grade teacher used to wait for kids to start fiddling with stuff inside their desks by opening the lids (or desk tops) only a little bit and then she'd sit on top of the desks, smashing kids' fingers between the desk tops and the desk base.

Then she'd pretend to be confused about what happened.

It was frightening.


Where was her first teaching job, Auschwitz?
 
2014-05-16 11:13:02 AM  

Wangiss: idesofmarch: Anybody remember the episode of the TV show "Sliders" where the characters couldn't lie because they all had on shock collars that would buzz them if they did?

We should do that.

I try to avoid any rules that would prevent people from hiding Jews in the attic.


That's an interesting thought, but I'd like to think that if people couldn't lie to mobs of morons, they couldn't instill blind hatred so convincingly.  I wish the episode had explored those implications, instead of 'They have lie collars... and now they're stuck in Jurassic Park.'
 
2014-05-16 11:13:09 AM  
Uh, where exactly was the bruise?

That may have been the issue. Let's say she was riding a boy's bike and slipped off the seat, even back when I was in  school (1970's) that would have caused issues.

But...This sounds more like a Penthouse letter than the real thing.
 
2014-05-16 11:14:13 AM  

RussianPooper: rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.

I'm 48 and it was never okay for teachers to hit kids where I grew up in the Bay Area.


I went to grammer school at Haws in Redwood City and then Antioch in South SF in the early 80's. Principal had a cricket bat with holes drilled in it.
 
2014-05-16 11:15:10 AM  
Roughing The Snapper:

I went to Catholic elementary school in the '80s and we had a nun that taught computer class.

Was she very old or very foreign? I seem to recall reading years ago that almost no young women were going into nunneries and they had to import nuns from 3rd world countries where the Church was still strong and women were still desperate.

A 2012 Reuters article says "There are more nuns over age 90 than there are under age 60, according to the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate at Georgetown University." That probably hasn't changed much in the past two years.

These days Catholic women would rather be priests instead. Instead of Episcopalian or atheist, for some reason: concerning the RC Church the best way to accomplish things like improve the role of women, the conduct of the clergy and the dogmatism of the Holy See would be for everybody who doesn't like the Church to leave it.
 
2014-05-16 11:16:23 AM  
kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.
 
2014-05-16 11:18:58 AM  

The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.


You don't many Mexicans do you?
 
2014-05-16 11:21:22 AM  
I preferred the next letter where the husband whips his dick out whenever the wife has friends over.... I'd expect this story to be on the news soon and linked from Fark.

And the following one about the sister... that's just pathetic.. they give the girl a home after the death of the parents, and now.. GTFO? If that sister was as nice as what was the impression I got, this woman should remove her head from her ass and realize that this kid is part of the family, and so should be happy to have her around... The kid isn't even going to be around for most of the time and such, leave her with the knowledge that she had a home and was wanted instead of this crap.  The husband (the brother) really needs to biatch his wife out and get her to put herself in the kid's shoes and see how that feels like.
 
2014-05-16 11:22:43 AM  
3.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-16 11:25:10 AM  

The One True TheDavid: Roughing The Snapper:

I went to Catholic elementary school in the '80s and we had a nun that taught computer class.

Was she very old or very foreign?


She was in her 50s I would guess. So she'd be in that 80-90 range now.

We had another one about the same age that would prowl the cafeteria at lunch time on the hunt for perpetrators of various nonsense. Once she sniffed out her prey, she would sneak up from behind and perform a two-handed variation of the Vulcan neck pinch while smiling and engaging in small-talk with the other kids at the table She would just stand there chatting while the offender was paralysed. When she decided the kid had had enough, she'd say her goodbyes and continued the hunt.
 
2014-05-16 11:26:02 AM  
I had a Spanish teacher who had once had to take Lance Armstrong (that one) in to the principal's office for corporal punishment.

Apparently he thought it was funny to "cough" and say a curse word. And he didn't know when to stop.
 
2014-05-16 11:26:16 AM  

The One True TheDavid: Roughing The Snapper:

I went to Catholic elementary school in the '80s and we had a nun that taught computer class.

Was she very old or very foreign? I seem to recall reading years ago that almost no young women were going into nunneries and they had to import nuns from 3rd world countries where the Church was still strong and women were still desperate.

A 2012 Reuters article says "There are more nuns over age 90 than there are under age 60, according to the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate at Georgetown University." That probably hasn't changed much in the past two years.

These days Catholic women would rather be priests instead. Instead of Episcopalian or atheist, for some reason: concerning the RC Church the best way to accomplish things like improve the role of women, the conduct of the clergy and the dogmatism of the Holy See would be for everybody who doesn't like the Church to leave it.


Good!  Hope the whole thing dies out.  Nothing but a bunch of repressed pyschos, who were probably lesbians, but, just could wrap their holy jane minds around the concept and admit it, and took their frustrations out on the kids.  The Sisters of Mercy had no mercy.  Yeah, I know I was a major pain in the ass when I was a kid, but still they were insane.
 
2014-05-16 11:29:40 AM  
What I like about these letters is the realism.
 
2014-05-16 11:30:29 AM  

Wangiss: someonelse: rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.

How old are you. I'm in my 40s and some of my classmates are grandparents. And teachers weren't allowed to whomp on us in school.

This is Fark. This is where defunct techies go for belt-onion conversations. I'm never surprised to find that someone here is 60+.


Really? I'm surprised when they're over 40. But then I'm a very mature 51.


Wangiss: idesofmarch: Anybody remember the episode of the TV show "Sliders" where the characters couldn't lie because they all had on shock collars that would buzz them if they did?

We should do that.

I try to avoid any rules that would prevent people from hiding Jews in the attic.


I don't favorite Farkers but if I did I would favorite you.

By the way, did they ever find the plane?


Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?


There's a trailer park full of then three blocks from here, and my friendly little pedopup likes to hang out near the elementary school when classes are letting out. I have yet to see a Latino mother of school-age kids who's under 20, let alone a grandma.

IIRC the average age of menarche is 12; you'd have a hard time finding a granny who's under 26, even in your family.
 
2014-05-16 11:33:43 AM  

idesofmarch: Wangiss: idesofmarch: Anybody remember the episode of the TV show "Sliders" where the characters couldn't lie because they all had on shock collars that would buzz them if they did?

We should do that.

I try to avoid any rules that would prevent people from hiding Jews in the attic.

That's an interesting thought, but I'd like to think that if people couldn't lie to mobs of morons, they couldn't instill blind hatred so convincingly.  I wish the episode had explored those implications, instead of 'They have lie collars... and now they're stuck in Jurassic Park.'


Tribalist feelings of hatred and exclusion aren't detectable as lies.
The only way to even attempt prevent those is with an unfortunately arbitrary system of morals.
And you may notice we don't really do very well with those.
 
2014-05-16 11:36:31 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?


The half-Mexican-half-Cubana my age at my church had breasts at 9.
 
2014-05-16 11:37:56 AM  

Wangiss: I always thought if feminists really wanted the upper hand they would go all Indo-Chinese and abort female fetuses.


Nah. Backwards. Make males scarce and keep us locked in basements. As for fertilization, ever see A Boy And His Dog?

All a scarcity of women would get around here is mass rapes of women (and probably boys too). It wouldn't take long to breed more females.
 
2014-05-16 11:38:23 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?


You don't know many Mexicans do you?
 
2014-05-16 11:43:15 AM  

Wangiss: Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?

The half-Mexican-half-Cubana my age at my church had breasts at 9.


Breasts aren't what's relevant. She still probably didn't bleed till she was 12 or so, and the ability to actually get pregnant and carry to term takes a few months or a year.

So you'd have had about three years of safe experimentation, along with her brothers, her cousins and the old man next door.
 
2014-05-16 11:43:44 AM  

Wangiss: Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?

The half-Mexican-half-Cubana my age at my church had breasts at 9.


My wife is half Irish and half Mexican from a family of ten. She has nine sisters. They all had at least d cups by 12.

/ Not that I've noticed
 
2014-05-16 11:46:26 AM  

Por que tan serioso: RussianPooper: rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.

I'm 48 and it was never okay for teachers to hit kids where I grew up in the Bay Area.

I went to grammer school at Haws in Redwood City and then Antioch in South SF in the early 80's. Principal had a cricket bat with holes drilled in it.


My 6th grade middle school social studies teacher (around 1985) had a wall of paddles of different sizes and shapes that were used for "birthday paddling" (you at least go to pick which one).   He did a lot of "oddball" things though... I remember him sticking one kid who was kind of weird/spazzy in his office (connected to the classroom with a glass window in between) and put a sticky note on the window saying something like "Don't feed the animals" or something alluding to that he was on "display".

My grade school principal also did "birthday spankings".

/teachers got away with a lot more stuff before the 90s
 
2014-05-16 11:49:38 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?

You don't know many Mexicans do you?


And as far as biologically impossible, in most cases yes... but.... 5 is the youngest documented...  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_youngest_birth_mothers
 
2014-05-16 11:50:05 AM  

Mid_mo_mad_man: Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?

You don't know many Mexicans do you?


That was weird.

The One True TheDavid: I don't favorite Farkers but if I did I would favorite you.

By the way, did they ever find the plane?


Yes, but they had to hire a deaf and blind girl to find it. Something about heightened extrasensory perception.

And thanks for the compliment, but the Jews-in-the-Attic test is the brainchild of one Joe Huffman. I completely agreed with it even before I read it; it's just a very elegant way to say it. One-liners that get the whole point across are few and far between.

CSB:
My boss, after his farewell lunch from this company, said in a casual conversation that it would be great to have RFID chips in everybody. He said he knows it's not popular, but it would make crimes provable in nearly every case and thus free us from a lot of uncertainty that makes life difficult and people unsafe. I said that when you have that degree of accuracy it's easy for the overclass to make rules about every moment of your life that hew only to their own convenient ethic contrivances. He didn't get it. That week I found the post about the Jews in the Attic test. I really wish I'd been able to say "Well, that's one way to keep the Jews out of people's attics." Oh well.
/CSB
 
2014-05-16 11:50:27 AM  

Por que tan serioso: RussianPooper: rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.

I'm 48 and it was never okay for teachers to hit kids where I grew up in the Bay Area.

I went to grammer school at Haws in Redwood City and then Antioch in South SF in the early 80's. Principal had a cricket bat with holes drilled in it.


Did he ever use it, or was it just an objet d'initimidation?

Anyway, I went to school in Saratoga and Cupertino. That probably explains it.
 
2014-05-16 11:51:22 AM  

The One True TheDavid: Wangiss: Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?

The half-Mexican-half-Cubana my age at my church had breasts at 9.

Breasts aren't what's relevant. She still probably didn't bleed till she was 12 or so, and the ability to actually get pregnant and carry to term takes a few months or a year.

So you'd have had about three years of safe experimentation, along with her brothers, her cousins and the old man next door.


She was menstruating at 9 as well. Chicks talk about everything. They just keep talking. It's like Fark IRL.
 
2014-05-16 11:53:29 AM  

Wangiss: The One True TheDavid: Wangiss: Mid_mo_mad_man: The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.

You don't many Mexicans do you?

The half-Mexican-half-Cubana my age at my church had breasts at 9.

Breasts aren't what's relevant. She still probably didn't bleed till she was 12 or so, and the ability to actually get pregnant and carry to term takes a few months or a year.

So you'd have had about three years of safe experimentation, along with her brothers, her cousins and the old man next door.

She was menstruating at 9 as well. Chicks talk about everything. They just keep talking. It's like Fark IRL.


Women gossiping? That's crazy talk.
 
2014-05-16 11:54:57 AM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Not trying to sound like that guy, but anyone ever noticed that it was no mass school shooting back when schools dished out corporal punishment


This!!!
 
2014-05-16 11:54:59 AM  
The only time a teacher ever touched me was in health class. We were watching a movie and the guy sitting behind me kept flicking my ear and farking with me, after a few dirty looks and a "stop it" I hit him. Well the teacher was in the back of the class and saw this, he came over and grabbed me by the shoulders. I thought it was the kid and took a swing at him. I'm glad I pulled my punch when I realized who it was. Failed that farking class ugh pissed me off so much.
 
2014-05-16 12:02:54 PM  
You feel bad? Good you should feel bad.
 
2014-05-16 12:04:25 PM  

TwowheelinTim: naughtyrev: I prefer the next letter about the guy intentionally showing his junk and claiming he left his fly down

I found it funny in a disturbing kinda way. Sounds like the guy is really proud of it. Seem to me most women really don't want to see it.


I'm reminded of that Seinfeld episode where Kramer says something like "it's like a whale, it's gotta come up for air!"
 
2014-05-16 12:12:56 PM  

The One True TheDavid: kbronsito:

Not if she's Mexican. She could be a 16-year-old grandma.

That's not only racist, it's biologically impossible.


thank god for your superior insights into both biology and Mexicans. Do you list "living next to a trailer park full of Mexicans" on your resume? In our diverse society, these special skills and knowledge are highly valued by employers.
 
2014-05-16 12:20:01 PM  

gambitsgirl: someonelse: rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.

How old are you. I'm in my 40s and some of my classmates are grandparents. And teachers weren't allowed to whomp on us in school.

I'm 42.  I got corporal punishment for sure and my mom told me what I got at school I'd get twice as bad at home.


I'm 45. It was a big deal when I was in grade school that corporal punishment was abolished.

/that was in Canada
 
2014-05-16 12:33:25 PM  
HOLD ON ONE MINUTE!!!  Did she let slip that she's now a GRANDMOTHER! (twice)?  Because I think that changes everything!  After all, if it was somebody's dear sweet old grandpa that was a murdering coward of a guard at Dachau or a brutal commandant at a Japanese POW camp in Burma, we'd forgive and forget, right?  Right?!
 
2014-05-16 12:37:51 PM  

rumpelstiltskin: I call bullshiat. If she's a grandmother, she's probably older than I am, and when I was a kid if your teacher saw fit to whoop you your parents didn't complain. They figured you must have deserved it, and you'd be lucky if all they did was write a note thanking the teacher for doing their job.


Thank you.  When I was in 5th grade (around '75) my music teacher stood me up in front of the class and beat my ass with a yard stick until it broke then grabbed me by my ear and yanked me all the way down the hall to the principal's office.  Mom got pissed, but nothing was every done to anyone.  That's how we did it old school.
 
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