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(The Local)   14-year-old German teen who committed 30 crimes in three months is being watched around the clock by a team of private security guards at a cost of $3,000 because he is too young to be sent to youth prison and too dangerous to be left alone   (thelocal.de ) divider line
    More: Strange, juvenile detention, private security guard, EUR.1, teens  
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6252 clicks; posted to Main » on 16 May 2014 at 11:25 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



85 Comments     (+0 »)
 
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-16 08:41:00 AM  
Fortunately in this country we have a robust juvenile correction system.

3.bp.blogspot.com
 
vpb [TotalFark]
2014-05-16 10:51:41 AM  
They don't allow youths in youth prison?
 
2014-05-16 11:11:40 AM  

vpb: They don't allow youths in youth prison?


Youths in youth prison? That's crazy talk.
 
2014-05-16 11:15:40 AM  
What a little scheißen
 
2014-05-16 11:30:21 AM  
$5 worth of rope can fix this little shiat before he hurts anybody else
 
2014-05-16 11:31:37 AM  
Subby's math needs work.
 
2014-05-16 11:32:09 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: $5 worth of rope can fix this little shiat before he hurts anybody else


And a tree.
 
2014-05-16 11:32:09 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: $5 worth of rope can fix this little shiat before he hurts anybody else


Someone should call Carol...

"Just look at the flowers..."
 
2014-05-16 11:33:06 AM  
It sounds like he has a future in government.
 
2014-05-16 11:33:52 AM  
If only there were some time of final soulution.......
 
2014-05-16 11:34:28 AM  
type....how the fark did that come out as time?
 
2014-05-16 11:35:15 AM  

Stoker: Smeggy Smurf: $5 worth of rope can fix this little shiat before he hurts anybody else

And a tree.


And the owl creek bridge.
 
2014-05-16 11:35:25 AM  
More $2000 per day.

Why are security guards so expensive?
 
2014-05-16 11:37:30 AM  
How does that stack up to the cost of prision?

Also, this could be the premise for a pretty good comedy.
 
2014-05-16 11:37:48 AM  
he is too young to be sent to youth prison

He's not too young to fall down a staircase, though...
 
2014-05-16 11:39:05 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

If there were only some place to place at-risk youth......
 
2014-05-16 11:39:47 AM  
Some people seem to be born psychopaths.  I've even dated a few.
 
2014-05-16 11:39:48 AM  
What's a ute?
 
2014-05-16 11:40:40 AM  
How 'bout a good ol' fashioned ass-whupping? Is he too young for that?
 
2014-05-16 11:40:52 AM  
Wanna bet this "German" yoof is actually Albanian, Turkish or Chechen?
 
2014-05-16 11:41:27 AM  
He'd make great CEO.
 
2014-05-16 11:42:10 AM  

uncleacid: What's a ute?


www.theory.classycoolmusic.com
 
2014-05-16 11:42:29 AM  
My how things have changed.

Just a few decades ago they'd pin an Iron Cross on his chest and send him out again.

/I guess anti-Semitism in Europe is coming to a boil again. Tough economic times tend to generate idiotic leaders and their followers
 
2014-05-16 11:42:33 AM  

LarryDan43: He'd make great CEO.


Or Tea-Party candidate for congress.
 
2014-05-16 11:42:54 AM  
teen who committed 30 crimes in three months is being watched around the clock ... because he is too young to be sent to youth prison and too dangerous to be left alone.


Pffft. At my house, we call that parenthood.
 
2014-05-16 11:43:00 AM  
 
GBB
2014-05-16 11:43:47 AM  
A 14-year old teen, you say?
 
2014-05-16 11:44:01 AM  
Too much of a boy for crazy town.. too crazy for boys town.
 
2014-05-16 11:44:39 AM  

Buttknuckle: Some people seem to be born psychopaths.  I've even dated a few.


Did they kill you?
 
2014-05-16 11:46:41 AM  
fc07.deviantart.net
 
2014-05-16 11:48:45 AM  

cretinbob: If only there were some time of final soulution.......


Hemlock and alcohol is a good final solution
 
2014-05-16 11:48:48 AM  
If at 13 the courts had no way to punish him.... Why not get another group of 13 year olds to kick the piss out of him?  Kid vigilantes, they could play Watchmen, dress up like Rorschach.

wallpoper.com
 
2014-05-16 11:49:46 AM  
From the sidebar...

img.fark.net

Is that some sort of German euphemism for being pregnant?
 
2014-05-16 11:52:37 AM  
RTFA, subby, and learn to convert euros to dollars. It was less than $2,000 a day, and the kid was 13 and ineligible for juvie. Now that he's 14, they'll just lock him up the next time he commits a crime.

/Bet he spends most of his life behind bars.
 
2014-05-16 11:53:39 AM  
ts3.mm.bing.net
He might have a solution.
 
2014-05-16 11:54:53 AM  

Stoker: Smeggy Smurf: $5 worth of rope can fix this little shiat before he hurts anybody else

And a tree.


Dnrtfa. But what did he do?

Why would he hurt a tree?
 
2014-05-16 11:55:14 AM  
Ah, so the 13 year old was too young to jail, but the 14 year old can be thrown in juvy hall on the next offense. But he has some bearing down like a hawk until he does commit that crime.

Although... When you get down to it, this sounds like a bad movie pitch. The little shiat gets away with new crimes because his watcher likes the easy gig.
 
2014-05-16 12:00:00 PM  
Too bad you cant just exile him to some island in the Baltic and have him take care of himself for a few months.
 
2014-05-16 12:04:14 PM  

Fissile: Wanna bet this "German" yoof is actually Albanian, Turkish or Chechen?


I was going with Roma, but sure.
 
2014-05-16 12:04:36 PM  

Chigroe Please: Stoker: Smeggy Smurf: $5 worth of rope can fix this little shiat before he hurts anybody else

And a tree.

Dnrtfa. But what did he do?

Why would he hurt a tree?


The tree was asking for it.  It had this little knothole just sticking out there.  The tree said it would leaf but not until spring.  He couldn't help himself.  I mean a 13 year old kid with wood is going to do something and that tree was wood and well you know...
 
2014-05-16 12:05:37 PM  

Fissile: [fc07.deviantart.net image 850x531]


I'm singing in the rain, just singing in the rain....
 
2014-05-16 12:06:05 PM  

mama2tnt: teen who committed 30 crimes in three months is being watched around the clock ... because he is too young to be sent to youth prison and too dangerous to be left alone.


Pffft. At my house, we call that parenthood.


I imagine his parents are real sweet people too.
 
2014-05-16 12:06:24 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: From the sidebar...

[img.fark.net image 415x355]

Is that some sort of German euphemism for being pregnant?


Lebensraum, baby, lebensraum. They remodeled the kitchen (installed gas ovens) then knocked down the back wall and added an addition that included Poland, parts of Czechoslovakia, Romania, North Africa...
 
2014-05-16 12:10:44 PM  
Hand him over to the Iranians.
 
2014-05-16 12:10:45 PM  
You know who ELSE committed 30 crimes in three months?
 
2014-05-16 12:11:04 PM  
They say corporal punishment doesn't work. Well that's a risk society should be willing to take with that little shiat.
 
2014-05-16 12:14:09 PM  

spawn73: Fissile: Wanna bet this "German" yoof is actually Albanian, Turkish or Chechen?

I was going with Roma, but sure.


Roma?  I doubt it.  The Roma are sneak thieves but rarely are they violent to that extent.   That kind of batshiat ultra-violence is almost always the domain of the children of Muslim immigrants.....usually from Turkey, the Balkans or Southern Russia.
 
2014-05-16 12:17:34 PM  
I will sell them both some pants!
 
2014-05-16 12:20:52 PM  
spawn73
Fissile:
Wanna bet this "German" yoof is actually Albanian, Turkish or Chechen?

I was going with Roma, but sure.


Then the article would've been about pickpocketing and how they don't know the kid's age and how they can't jail him until the last doctor has agreed that the little shiat is at least 14 now.
 
2014-05-16 12:22:26 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: From the sidebar...

[img.fark.net image 415x355]

Is that some sort of German euphemism for being pregnant?


Maybe if she quit farking the guys when they show up, they would get some work done.
 
2014-05-16 12:22:58 PM  

Loaf's Tray: You know who ELSE committed 30 crimes in three months?


I do that much before breakfast
 
2014-05-16 12:23:01 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Chigroe Please: Stoker: Smeggy Smurf: $5 worth of rope can fix this little shiat before he hurts anybody else

And a tree.

Dnrtfa. But what did he do?

Why would he hurt a tree?

The tree was asking for it.  It had this little knothole just sticking out there.  The tree said it would leaf but not until spring.  He couldn't help himself.  I mean a 13 year old kid with wood is going to do something and that tree was wood and well you know...


Ah. I had forgotten my own misspent youth. Thank you kind sir.
 
2014-05-16 12:24:40 PM  

Stoker: Smeggy Smurf: $5 worth of rope can fix this little shiat before he hurts anybody else

And a tree.



Do you know how long it takes to grow one of those? He'll be an adult before it's tall enough!
 
2014-05-16 12:26:54 PM  
Uncle Rick wants you to come to his house.

static5.businessinsider.com
 
2014-05-16 12:34:15 PM  

Fissile: spawn73: Fissile: Wanna bet this "German" yoof is actually Albanian, Turkish or Chechen?

I was going with Roma, but sure.

Roma?  I doubt it.  The Roma are sneak thieves but rarely are they violent to that extent.   That kind of batshiat ultra-violence is almost always the domain of the children of Muslim immigrants.....usually from Turkey, the Balkans or Southern Russia.


Or, I dunno, farking GERMANS.

www.finanzas.com
 
2014-05-16 12:35:27 PM  
Why doesn't he just wish them into the cornfield?
 
2014-05-16 12:46:00 PM  

Snarfangel: Stoker: Smeggy Smurf: $5 worth of rope can fix this little shiat before he hurts anybody else

And a tree.


Do you know how long it takes to grow one of those? He'll be an adult before it's tall enough!


Just throw some bone meal down
 
2014-05-16 12:46:46 PM  

LazyMedia: Fissile: spawn73: Fissile: Wanna bet this "German" yoof is actually Albanian, Turkish or Chechen?

I was going with Roma, but sure.

Roma?  I doubt it.  The Roma are sneak thieves but rarely are they violent to that extent.   That kind of batshiat ultra-violence is almost always the domain of the children of Muslim immigrants.....usually from Turkey, the Balkans or Southern Russia.

Or, I dunno, farking GERMANS.

[www.finanzas.com image 630x354]


Skinhead attacking foreigners?  It could be, I'm not saying it's impossible.   Based solely on statistics and probability, I'm placing my bet on Chechen or Albanian.
 
2014-05-16 12:55:51 PM  

Fissile: spawn73: Fissile: Wanna bet this "German" yoof is actually Albanian, Turkish or Chechen?

I was going with Roma, but sure.

Roma?  I doubt it.  The Roma are sneak thieves but rarely are they violent to that extent.   That kind of batshiat ultra-violence is almost always the domain of the children of Muslim immigrants.....usually from Turkey, the Balkans or Southern Russia.


Oh dear. :P
 
2014-05-16 12:56:23 PM  

Fissile: Skinhead attacking foreigners?  It could be, I'm not saying it's impossible.   Based solely on statistics and probability, I'm placing my bet on Chechen or Albanian.


There are 10,000 chechens in Germany, 500K ALbanian, and 4 million Turks.   If you are going to racially profile, bet with the numbers.

The Voice of Doom: Then the article would've been about pickpocketing and how they don't know the kid's age and how they can't jail him until the last doctor has agreed that the little shiat is at least 14 now.


Cut them open and count the rings!
 
2014-05-16 12:56:28 PM  
Could they not send him to camp?
 
2014-05-16 12:59:11 PM  

LazyMedia: Fissile: spawn73: Fissile: Wanna bet this "German" yoof is actually Albanian, Turkish or Chechen?

I was going with Roma, but sure.

Roma?  I doubt it.  The Roma are sneak thieves but rarely are they violent to that extent.   That kind of batshiat ultra-violence is almost always the domain of the children of Muslim immigrants.....usually from Turkey, the Balkans or Southern Russia.

Or, I dunno, farking GERMANS.

[www.finanzas.com image 630x354]


They don't mention non-German nationalities because racism.

When its a German they make sure to mention it, otherwise people would make assumptions.


So in the end, it comes out the same way. They didn't mention it was a German, so its not.
 
2014-05-16 01:13:10 PM  

lilplatinum: Fissile: Skinhead attacking foreigners?  It could be, I'm not saying it's impossible.   Based solely on statistics and probability, I'm placing my bet on Chechen or Albanian.

There are 10,000 chechens in Germany, 500K ALbanian, and 4 million Turks.   If you are going to racially profile, bet with the numbers.

The Voice of Doom: Then the article would've been about pickpocketing and how they don't know the kid's age and how they can't jail him until the last doctor has agreed that the little shiat is at least 14 now.

Cut them open and count the rings!


In terms of sheer biatshiat, one Chechen is worth 50 Albanians or 200 Turks.
 
2014-05-16 01:16:09 PM  

Abe Vigoda's Ghost: From the sidebar...

[img.fark.net image 415x355]

Is that some sort of German euphemism for being pregnant?



Germans don't have euphemisms. Euphemisms are for the weak!
 
2014-05-16 01:20:18 PM  

impaler: More $2000 per day.

Why are security guards so expensive?


You get what you pay for when it comes to security (both personnel and devices). If you want a minimum wage mall cop, be prepared to have it sit like a lump and not do anything. If you want someone that'll pay attention and keep things locked down, that'll cost you.
 
2014-05-16 01:30:29 PM  

vpb: They don't allow youths in youth prison?


Hwhaaat is a "yute"?
 
2014-05-16 01:56:16 PM  
Convert to a for-profit prison system and all of your crime goes away.
 
2014-05-16 02:24:33 PM  
spawn73

They don't mention non-German nationalities because racism.

When its a German they make sure to mention it, otherwise people would make assumptions.


Then again, the source referenced in the article is a Bild "article", so you can be sure that a non-German nationality will be mentioned there; "because racism" or rather "because Bild knows its audience" (I hesitate to call them "readers"). Otherwise there wouldn't be an article or it would be a footnote on page 25 if they had to fill a corner that's too small for a picture of a topless chick.

And sure, if you go there:
http://www.bild.de/news/inland/jugendkriminalitaet/sicherheitsfirma-u e berwacht-jugendliche-straftaeter-35992470.bild.html
..they mention in what's essentially the first sentence that he's "Russian".

/so Fissile's Chechen bet is still in play
 
2014-05-16 02:40:42 PM  

BitwiseShift: Uncle Rick wants you to come to his house.

[static5.businessinsider.com image 400x300]


Why does he look like he's getting blown by a transformer?


/Who knows what happens in the lower half
 
2014-05-16 02:43:31 PM  

loaba: How 'bout a good ol' fashioned ass-whupping? Is he too young for that?


Is he too young for a pillow over the face? Seriously, what are the odds this individual will ever be a net positive for society? If only someone quietly suffocated obvious sociopaths at an early age the world would be a dramatically better place.
 
2014-05-16 03:02:18 PM  

The Voice of Doom: spawn73

They don't mention non-German nationalities because racism.

When its a German they make sure to mention it, otherwise people would make assumptions.


Then again, the source referenced in the article is a Bild "article", so you can be sure that a non-German nationality will be mentioned there; "because racism" or rather "because Bild knows its audience" (I hesitate to call them "readers"). Otherwise there wouldn't be an article or it would be a footnote on page 25 if they had to fill a corner that's too small for a picture of a topless chick.

And sure, if you go there:
http://www.bild.de/news/inland/jugendkriminalitaet/sicherheitsfirma-u e berwacht-jugendliche-straftaeter-35992470.bild.html
..they mention in what's essentially the first sentence that he's "Russian".

/so Fissile's Chechen bet is still in play


Here's a picture of "Igor" from the Bild Article.  He's identified as Russian, because he's got a Russian passport, but I can tell from that picture, even with the pixelization, that's what the Russians refer to as a "black-ass".....someone from the Caucuses.   The complete over the top batshiat behavior, the way he dresses, that's a Chechen....you know, those guys Bush W claimed were "good" Muslims.

bilder.bild.de
 
2014-05-16 03:04:30 PM  
Sounds like he needs several seasons worth of spank therapy
img1.wikia.nocookie.net
 
2014-05-16 03:53:10 PM  
"Lil" Hitler !!!!
 
2014-05-16 03:54:59 PM  

DarkSoulNoHope: Buttknuckle: Some people seem to be born psychopaths.  I've even dated a few.

Did they kill you?

Sounds more like a sociopath than a psychopath...
 
2014-05-16 03:55:46 PM  

Fissile: Wanna bet this "German" yoof is actually Albanian, Turkish or Chechen?


Black Dutch ??
 
2014-05-16 04:03:09 PM  
Well..now that he is 14, pull back the close watch, keep it more stealthy, he will commit a crime and then he is locked up.

Put him in with Gunther and he can see how tough he is.

Maybe he could be on Angst Gerade
 
2014-05-16 05:00:15 PM  

Fissile: Wanna bet this "German" yoof is actually Albanian, Turkish or Chechen?


Yes, of course.  My money is on Turkish.
 
2014-05-16 05:06:05 PM  
He will either be our most powerful weapon or the downfall of us all.

Somebody assemble the Guardians of Reality.

/I'd do it
//but I got a thing...
 
2014-05-16 09:05:46 PM  

Fissile: The Voice of Doom: spawn73

They don't mention non-German nationalities because racism.

When its a German they make sure to mention it, otherwise people would make assumptions.


Then again, the source referenced in the article is a Bild "article", so you can be sure that a non-German nationality will be mentioned there; "because racism" or rather "because Bild knows its audience" (I hesitate to call them "readers"). Otherwise there wouldn't be an article or it would be a footnote on page 25 if they had to fill a corner that's too small for a picture of a topless chick.

And sure, if you go there:
http://www.bild.de/news/inland/jugendkriminalitaet/sicherheitsfirma-u e berwacht-jugendliche-straftaeter-35992470.bild.html
..they mention in what's essentially the first sentence that he's "Russian".

/so Fissile's Chechen bet is still in play

Here's a picture of "Igor" from the Bild Article.  He's identified as Russian, because he's got a Russian passport, but I can tell from that picture, even with the pixelization, that's what the Russians refer to as a "black-ass".....someone from the Caucuses.   The complete over the top batshiat behavior, the way he dresses, that's a Chechen....you know, those guys Bush W claimed were "good" Muslims.

[bilder.bild.de image 850x478]


You are uncomfortable fixated on the possible nationality of this youth. Did a Chechen steal your wallet or something? Kick your dog? Rape your mom?
 
2014-05-16 09:06:25 PM  
Uncomfortably, not uncomfortable.

Though the fact that you're about 1/3 of the posts in this thread, that is a bit uncomfortable.
 
2014-05-16 09:14:16 PM  

The My Little Pony Killer: Fissile: The Voice of Doom: spawn73

They don't mention non-German nationalities because racism.

When its a German they make sure to mention it, otherwise people would make assumptions.


Then again, the source referenced in the article is a Bild "article", so you can be sure that a non-German nationality will be mentioned there; "because racism" or rather "because Bild knows its audience" (I hesitate to call them "readers"). Otherwise there wouldn't be an article or it would be a footnote on page 25 if they had to fill a corner that's too small for a picture of a topless chick.

And sure, if you go there:
http://www.bild.de/news/inland/jugendkriminalitaet/sicherheitsfirma-u e berwacht-jugendliche-straftaeter-35992470.bild.html
..they mention in what's essentially the first sentence that he's "Russian".

/so Fissile's Chechen bet is still in play

Here's a picture of "Igor" from the Bild Article.  He's identified as Russian, because he's got a Russian passport, but I can tell from that picture, even with the pixelization, that's what the Russians refer to as a "black-ass".....someone from the Caucuses.   The complete over the top batshiat behavior, the way he dresses, that's a Chechen....you know, those guys Bush W claimed were "good" Muslims.

[bilder.bild.de image 850x478]

You are uncomfortable fixated on the possible nationality of this youth. Did a Chechen steal your wallet or something? Kick your dog? Rape your mom?


Apparently it was the Chechens who were running a train on your mom, which is why you are defending them, since you are convinced you dad is a Chechen.
 
2014-05-17 02:24:04 AM  
Ah the Germans. Going soft.
 
2014-05-17 02:43:13 AM  
So wait a minute... now that he's 14, they can send him to juvie if he commits another crime. But he can't commit another crime because of the super expensive security guards. ....why do they not just stop the guards, while having less obvious surveillance on him, and send him to juvie when his psycopathic ass inevitably commits another crime?
 
2014-05-17 06:13:29 AM  
Happy birthday.
The law now applies to you.
See you soon!
 
2014-05-17 10:37:16 AM  

KeelingLovesCornholes: Ah the Germans. Going soft.


Germans vacillate between extremes.  They go from coddling criminals to putting them up against the wall, and then back again.  Back in the Wiemar days Hitler did some very soft time for his participation in the Beer Hall Putsch.  Everyone would have been better off if they had put him against the wall.
 
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