Do you have adblock enabled?
 
If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Israel National News)   Egypt would like you to know that Communism and Tom & Jerry were invented by the ancient Egyptians and that they also built all the pyramids 200 years before the dates of the oldest ones   (israelnationalnews.com ) divider line
    More: Fail, Tom & Jerry, Egyptologists, communists, Egyptian, Egypt, engine rooms, Abdel Fattah  
•       •       •

4639 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2014 at 11:11 PM (1 year ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



100 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

Archived thread
 
2014-05-15 08:12:04 PM  
How do you respond to a guy that gives out complete truths and complete lies in equal numbers?
 
2014-05-15 08:27:00 PM  
Ra, what an asshole
 
2014-05-15 08:52:44 PM  
israelnationalnews.com??? And the site has settings for Israeli, American English, and Russian languages?
 
2014-05-15 09:33:03 PM  
Unimpressed by your pyramids:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cahokia
 
2014-05-15 09:43:29 PM  
Man first walked like an Egyptian.
 
2014-05-15 10:23:50 PM  
Okay, I'll give them Tom and Jerry, but if those bastids try to take credit for inventing Bugs and Daffy Duck that would be crossing the line.
 
2014-05-15 10:29:51 PM  

sp2.fotolog.com

 
2014-05-15 10:38:57 PM  
I thought for sure that this was going to about Zahi Hawass. Are these two competing with each other to see who can be the biggest dickhead?
 
2014-05-15 11:15:58 PM  
Urology and Egyptology?  Sounds like an odd combination.  Also, his name is Al-Sissy?  Is this for real?
 
2014-05-15 11:17:04 PM  
Fine, but Obomber invented socializm.
 
2014-05-15 11:17:07 PM  
Communism is something people can come up with independent of each other. Unless he can prove it, I doubt Karl Marx was studying Egyptiology.

Why didn't the article have anything on the Tom & Jerry thing? It just leaves us hanging.
 
2014-05-15 11:18:34 PM  

Shostie: [sp2.fotolog.com image 320x240]

i.imgur.com

 
2014-05-15 11:18:47 PM  
Hey now, when I want facts, I ALWAYS trust a man who studies pee pee for a living! After all, Egyptians invented urine as well. Before that, everyone peed kidney stones everyday.
 
2014-05-15 11:19:11 PM  
cdn2.brooklynmuseum.org
 
2014-05-15 11:21:47 PM  
Inventing communism isn't exactly something to be proud of.
 
2014-05-15 11:21:49 PM  
" he claimed it was not the forefathers of the Jewish people who built the pyramids, but the Egyptians. "

Okay, so he got one thing right.

..... It  iscommon knowledge that the jews didn't build the pyramids, right?
 
2014-05-15 11:23:48 PM  
Well, if we ever run out of sources of batshiat insanity, we know where to go to get a new supply.
 
2014-05-15 11:24:44 PM  
2.bp.blogspot.com

Seems legit.
 
2014-05-15 11:26:34 PM  
And radio and billiards and surfing and cheese.  Don't forget cheese.  Tasty cheese.
 
2014-05-15 11:29:56 PM  

real_headhoncho: Well, if we ever run out of sources of batshiat insanity, we know where to go to get a new supply.


The Egyptians apparently invented that, too

/particularly if current events are taken into account
 
2014-05-15 11:30:15 PM  
Says two random guys from Egypt.
let me give it a try.
Well known American author and blogger Alex Jones, says that America is ruled by monarch butterflies.
 
2014-05-15 11:36:46 PM  

drjekel_mrhyde: Says two random guys from Egypt.
let me give it a try.
Well known American author and blogger Alex Jones, says that America is ruled by monarch butterflies.


static.comicvine.com
 
2014-05-15 11:40:22 PM  

nekom: Unimpressed by your pyramids:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cahokia



A hill covered and surrounded by a bunch of mud huts, built around 1000 years ago?

I can appreciate the accomplishments of our native peoples, but lets not pretend they weren't 3 or 4 thousand years behind the rest of the world.
 
2014-05-15 11:42:14 PM  
Hey now, let's not be harsh on the Egyptians, here. After all, they were the ones that invented beer, so Farkers should be lining up to bow at the Pharaoh's feet.
 
2014-05-15 11:42:24 PM  
I have no idea if any of what's being reported here is true, but I think we are supposed to pointing out the contradiction between:

"The pyramids were built in 2800 BCE, whereas Abraham lived in 1700 BCE - he lived 1,000 years after the building of the pyramids. Even if we assume that they were around when the pyramids were built, there is a difference between shepherds, who know nothing about engineering, or about erecting such monumental structures, and who couldn't do much more than carry bricks, perhaps, and between the brilliant minds who could build such structures," claimed Al-Sissy.
"Anyone who knows this but still attacks [Egyptian] civilization must be working for global Zionism," he declared.


And this:

He then added, "I consider everything to have been planned here. Even the principles of Communism - it turns out that they were written by Ipuwer, the historian from the First Intermediate Period. He wrote that labor belongs to the laborers, that the land belongs to those who till it, and that the heavens do not rule the land, because there is no god. This is from the First Intermediate Period, after the Sixth Dynasty."

Because that's pretty funny.
 
2014-05-15 11:43:27 PM  

Starshines: Inventing communism isn't exactly something to be proud of.


If you think about it, it was the first form of what one would call society.
 
2014-05-15 11:44:45 PM  
Thanks Dr. Boner.
 
2014-05-15 11:47:40 PM  

Lord Jubjub: How do you respond to a guy that gives out complete truths and complete lies in equal numbers?


Well that great some people that lived over 2000 years ago in the general vicinity of where are now did some great stuff..... but what the fark have you done lately?

Its like the guy that did that one great thing at work like 20 years ago but pretty just lazed about all day talking about that thing 20 years ago.
 
2014-05-15 11:51:28 PM  

Meethos: nekom: Unimpressed by your pyramids:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cahokia


A hill covered and surrounded by a bunch of mud huts, built around 1000 years ago?

I can appreciate the accomplishments of our native peoples, but lets not pretend they weren't 3 or 4 thousand years behind the rest of the world.


In all fairness, humans did arrive here later.
 
2014-05-15 11:52:44 PM  
He overlooked the fact that the CIA has rigged the sun to to burn out in 100 million years.
 
2014-05-15 11:53:01 PM  
Even the principles of Communism - it turns out that they were written by Ipuwer, the historian from the First Intermediate Period.

It was much better it in the original Klingon.
 
2014-05-15 11:53:39 PM  
i587.photobucket.com
The Egyptians Simpsons did it first.
 
2014-05-15 11:55:01 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: israelnationalnews.com??? And the site has settings for Israeli, American English, and Russian languages?


Arutz Sheva News Agency (Sheva is hebrew for "7" which is their channel number on TV) which has newspapers (fourth largest i the country), TV Station and Radio (they have three different language radio stations plus a music station). It was co-founded by an American ex-pat. He wanted a news agency that could accommodate both Israelis and expats from English speaking countries (There are also expats from other english speaking countries. There are whole neighborhoods like Telz-Stone where everyone speaks in English and the schools teach some subjects in English and some in Hebrew because the Parents want it. That one neighborhood is about 50% American, 50% British, Canadian, Australian and South African expats and their children who are also dual citizens. The original people who started that neighborhood were from Cleveland) He also later added Russian to accommodate the large number of immigrants from the former USSR.
So that is why they have those languages for choices. Plus English and Hebrew are two of the three official languages of Israel (Arabic being the third) which also helps. They did at one time have an Arabic language version but not too many Israeli-Arabs listened to it. If you want Israeli news from a religious-Zionist perspective, it is the only news agency out there for that view (though not everyone there is religious, but everyone there is very Zionistic and pro-settlement). Its the only good Israeli news agency from the right. read them and haaretz from the left  and you get a clear picture of both sides in Israel.
 
2014-05-15 11:55:41 PM  

Meethos: nekom: Unimpressed by your pyramids:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cahokia


A hill covered and surrounded by a bunch of mud huts, built around 1000 years ago?

I can appreciate the accomplishments of our native peoples, but lets not pretend they weren't 3 or 4 thousand years behind the rest of the world.


Seeing as they haven't invented the wheel yet, or writing, then 3-4 thousand years is a bit generous.

Other "new world" cultures did have writing though, using pictograms similar to the Egyptians. But obviously independently discovered (I'm sure this Egyptian dude would disagree, but whatever).
 
2014-05-15 11:56:07 PM  
That website is some of the worst propaganda drivel I've seen in quite some time.
 
2014-05-15 11:56:21 PM  

nekom: Unimpressed by your pyramids:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cahokia


Some people who made a couple of piles of dirt are unimpressed by pyramids made of precision-carved stone pieces? Were these people on drugs?
 
2014-05-15 11:58:23 PM  

SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG WITH THIS

i.imgur.com

 
2014-05-15 11:59:09 PM  

27B-6: " he claimed it was not the forefathers of the Jewish people who built the pyramids, but the Egyptians. "

Okay, so he got one thing right.

..... It  iscommon knowledge that the jews didn't build the pyramids, right?


You would think. Unfortunately, too many people still get their history from Hollywood movies and insist on believing that it was Jewish slaves, of all things, who built them.

Also:
Cars falling off a cliff explode in mid air.
Burning kerosene can overtake a plane taking off.
Car doors can stop bullets.
 
2014-05-16 12:03:30 AM  
You say that as if you were talking to a Texan
 
2014-05-16 12:08:10 AM  

capt.hollister: 27B-6: " he claimed it was not the forefathers of the Jewish people who built the pyramids, but the Egyptians. "

Okay, so he got one thing right.

..... It  iscommon knowledge that the jews didn't build the pyramids, right?

You would think. Unfortunately, too many people still get their history from Hollywood movies and insist on believing that it was Jewish slaves, of all things, who built them.

Also:
Cars falling off a cliff explode in mid air.
Burning kerosene can overtake a plane taking off.
Car doors can stop bullets.


Also I seem to recall Israel and Israeli media has this weird obsession with "proving" the old testament correct, at least with regards to everything between Abraham and Moses that just happens to support their, "this is our land, it was given by god." meme.

They even did completely made-up archaeological digs where they "found artifacts that totally prove the 40 years in the desert thing was real."
 
2014-05-16 12:09:52 AM  
Meh. Yul Brynner did it better.

/too bad Yul isn't around for our time, he'd play a great Putin in the coming WWIII movies.
 
2014-05-16 12:15:09 AM  
The guy seems overly pompous in flaunting his culture's acheivements. Maybe he's trying to renew national pride. Who really cares who came up with these things. But I don't think he's totally bat-shiat. Heres from wiki:

"Cats in everyday life in Ancient Egypt:
Wild cats naturally preyed upon the rats and other vermin that ate from the royal granaries. They earned their place in towns and cities by killing mice, venomous snakes, and other pests. They were worshiped by the Egyptians and given jewelry in hieroglyphics."

So watching cats chase mice was probably a cool pass time. Watching a cat hit his head on the wall because the mouse made it to the hole first would be classic. Maybe they drew it on papyrus.  The communism is easy enough to believe, and even if the Jews were the laborers, suppose Einstien had been one. You really think they would take slave laborer's advice on an engineering project? Credit for projects always goes to the designer, not the peons that toil. Granted, his dating theory makes him sound like a holocaust denier.
 
2014-05-16 12:19:56 AM  
To avoid Godwinning the thread, I'll forgo the usual references to archaeology used as propaganda in territorial disputes and reference North Korean Unicorns because that's all I can remember off the top of my head and Nazi Germany's efforts were so very iconic.
 
2014-05-16 12:20:56 AM  

gerbilpox: Even the principles of Communism - it turns out that they were written by Ipuwer, the historian from the First Intermediate Period.

It was much better it in the original Klingon.


Aye... Thought of that, and the way Chekhov said everything was Russian... Though Chekhov would usually smirk, cause he knew he was farking with em, the cheeky bastard!!!
 
2014-05-16 12:21:58 AM  

itsaidwhat: Meh. Yul Brynner did it better.

/too bad Yul isn't around for our time, he'd play a great Putin in the coming WWIII movies.


Yul was pretty versatile
www.mondo-digital.com
 
2014-05-16 12:22:14 AM  

ransack.: SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG WITH THIS

[i.imgur.com image 850x478]



♪ ♪  PROPANE, PROPAAANE. ♪ ♪


i1.ytimg.com
 
2014-05-16 12:22:45 AM  
Is this sort of like how some of those Kemet Moorish guys think black Egyptians traveled in space 10,000 years ago?
 
2014-05-16 12:23:07 AM  
What an al-Sissy.
 
2014-05-16 12:23:11 AM  
img.fark.net

That pictures is not for the Egyptians
 
2014-05-16 12:23:34 AM  

Lord Jubjub: How do you respond to a guy that gives out complete truths and complete lies in equal numbers?


Vote him in for President twice?

//Go Barry!
 
2014-05-16 12:23:39 AM  

27B-6: " he claimed it was not the forefathers of the Jewish people who built the pyramids, but the Egyptians. "

Okay, so he got one thing right.

..... It  iscommon knowledge that the jews didn't build the pyramids, right?


Apparently not. I blame Simcha "Jews Did It First" Jacobovici.
 
2014-05-16 12:23:44 AM  

jedihirsch: If you want Israeli news from a religious-Zionist perspective, it is the only news agency out there for that view (though not everyone there is religious, but everyone there is very Zionistic and pro-settlement). Its the only good Israeli news agency from the right.


Are they managed by the successor to the Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda?
 
2014-05-16 12:25:15 AM  

ReverendJynxed: [2.bp.blogspot.com image 400x304]

Seems legit.


That deserves either a free internet or at least a free LAN
 
2014-05-16 12:27:46 AM  

Starshines: Inventing communism isn't exactly something to be proud of.


Well, you say that, but what happens once every job is done by a robot and three people have 100% of the money?
 
2014-05-16 12:30:11 AM  
Oh, come on!  I thought we were done with this shiat after Martin Bernal died.
 
2014-05-16 12:32:18 AM  

Billy Bathsalt: Starshines: Inventing communism isn't exactly something to be proud of.

Well, you say that, but what happens once every job is done by a robot and three people have 100% of the money?


The rest of us will go back to trading shiny rocks and fishes and berries and thatching roofs from straw
 
2014-05-16 12:38:36 AM  

fasahd: The guy seems overly pompous in flaunting his culture's acheivements. Maybe he's trying to renew national pride. Who really cares who came up with these things. But I don't think he's totally bat-shiat. Heres from wiki:

"Cats in everyday life in Ancient Egypt:
Wild cats naturally preyed upon the rats and other vermin that ate from the royal granaries. They earned their place in towns and cities by killing mice, venomous snakes, and other pests. They were worshiped by the Egyptians and given jewelry in hieroglyphics."

So watching cats chase mice was probably a cool pass time. Watching a cat hit his head on the wall because the mouse made it to the hole first would be classic. Maybe they drew it on papyrus.  The communism is easy enough to believe, and even if the Jews were the laborers, suppose Einstien had been one. You really think they would take slave laborer's advice on an engineering project? Credit for projects always goes to the designer, not the peons that toil. Granted, his dating theory makes him sound like a holocaust denier.


He's engaging in archaeology propaganda, it's actually fairly common in that part of the world.  It should be no surprise that these efforts are widely disputed, incredibly political, and very light on actual science or history.

As for the pyramids, they were public works projects.  It's kinda hazy to call them "slaves" when they were all feudal serfs (property of the king, who by the way is also LITERALLY GOD in the state religion) but at the same time it's not like they volunteered for their jobs, they just got drafted because the King needed them doing something in between planting season and harvest season.  And for all the talk of "amazing engineering" it wasn't all that, they had dudes, they had bronze-age tools, they got shiat done.  I mean it's interesting, and they did invent stuff (for that part of the world, which they did not share, and were eclipsed by) but it wasn't as impressive as what they were doing in, say Asia or what they did in Minoan civilization around the same time.

But Egypt needs pride, and since they ain't got shiat NOW they have to fall back on "yeah well we used to be hot shiat" even if it means lying and making shiat up.

Not exactly new, or unique.
 
2014-05-16 12:43:53 AM  

TheBigJerk: fasahd: The guy seems overly pompous in flaunting his culture's acheivements. Maybe he's trying to renew national pride. Who really cares who came up with these things. But I don't think he's totally bat-shiat. Heres from wiki:

"Cats in everyday life in Ancient Egypt:
Wild cats naturally preyed upon the rats and other vermin that ate from the royal granaries. They earned their place in towns and cities by killing mice, venomous snakes, and other pests. They were worshiped by the Egyptians and given jewelry in hieroglyphics."

So watching cats chase mice was probably a cool pass time. Watching a cat hit his head on the wall because the mouse made it to the hole first would be classic. Maybe they drew it on papyrus.  The communism is easy enough to believe, and even if the Jews were the laborers, suppose Einstien had been one. You really think they would take slave laborer's advice on an engineering project? Credit for projects always goes to the designer, not the peons that toil. Granted, his dating theory makes him sound like a holocaust denier.

He's engaging in archaeology propaganda, it's actually fairly common in that part of the world.  It should be no surprise that these efforts are widely disputed, incredibly political, and very light on actual science or history.

As for the pyramids, they were public works projects.  It's kinda hazy to call them "slaves" when they were all feudal serfs (property of the king, who by the way is also LITERALLY GOD in the state religion) but at the same time it's not like they volunteered for their jobs, they just got drafted because the King needed them doing something in between planting season and harvest season.  And for all the talk of "amazing engineering" it wasn't all that, they had dudes, they had bronze-age tools, they got shiat done.  I mean it's interesting, and they did invent stuff (for that part of the world, which they did not share, and were eclipsed by) but it wasn't as impressive as what they were doing in, say Asia or what they did in Minoan civilization around the same time.

But Egypt needs pride, and since they ain't got shiat NOW they have to fall back on "yeah well we used to be hot shiat" even if it means lying and making shiat up.

Not exactly new, or unique.


Yeah well Mount Rushmore actually looked like that when Columbus got here and Jesus carved the faces of four future great American Presidents there in the year AD 35
 
2014-05-16 12:55:20 AM  
They also invented:
Porn
teh Gay
AIDS
Herpes
 
2014-05-16 01:11:34 AM  
Yeah well didn't you know the pyramids were a mistake?
 
2014-05-16 01:16:00 AM  
And slavery.  they had slavery nailed before that meddling Moses cat.
 
2014-05-16 01:23:13 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: jedihirsch: If you want Israeli news from a religious-Zionist perspective, it is the only news agency out there for that view (though not everyone there is religious, but everyone there is very Zionistic and pro-settlement). Its the only good Israeli news agency from the right.

Are they managed by the successor to the Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda?


considering from the 70's till 1999 they were banned from broadcasting in Israel for being too conservative (They broadcasting from a boat off the coast and getting their people foreign correspondent passes by listing their address as in the US at the time), I doubt it. But they have a top notch investigative team, and I as much as I like the left-wing Haaretz too, Arutz Sheva has had far less issues of retractions for errors. They are a very good outlet
 
2014-05-16 01:28:55 AM  

sweatybronson: gerbilpox: Even the principles of Communism - it turns out that they were written by Ipuwer, the historian from the First Intermediate Period.

It was much better it in the original Klingon.

Aye... Thought of that, and the way Chekhov said everything was Russian... Though Chekhov would usually smirk, cause he knew he was farking with em, the cheeky bastard!!!


He was preparing for Mr. Bester.

/THERE'S a guy who knows how to fark with people!
 
2014-05-16 01:30:54 AM  

ransack.: TheBigJerk: fasahd: The guy seems overly pompous in flaunting his culture's acheivements. Maybe he's trying to renew national pride. Who really cares who came up with these things. But I don't think he's totally bat-shiat. Heres from wiki:

"Cats in everyday life in Ancient Egypt:
Wild cats naturally preyed upon the rats and other vermin that ate from the royal granaries. They earned their place in towns and cities by killing mice, venomous snakes, and other pests. They were worshiped by the Egyptians and given jewelry in hieroglyphics."

So watching cats chase mice was probably a cool pass time. Watching a cat hit his head on the wall because the mouse made it to the hole first would be classic. Maybe they drew it on papyrus.  The communism is easy enough to believe, and even if the Jews were the laborers, suppose Einstien had been one. You really think they would take slave laborer's advice on an engineering project? Credit for projects always goes to the designer, not the peons that toil. Granted, his dating theory makes him sound like a holocaust denier.

He's engaging in archaeology propaganda, it's actually fairly common in that part of the world.  It should be no surprise that these efforts are widely disputed, incredibly political, and very light on actual science or history.

As for the pyramids, they were public works projects.  It's kinda hazy to call them "slaves" when they were all feudal serfs (property of the king, who by the way is also LITERALLY GOD in the state religion) but at the same time it's not like they volunteered for their jobs, they just got drafted because the King needed them doing something in between planting season and harvest season.  And for all the talk of "amazing engineering" it wasn't all that, they had dudes, they had bronze-age tools, they got shiat done.  I mean it's interesting, and they did invent stuff (for that part of the world, which they did not share, and were eclipsed by) but it wasn't as impressive as what they were doing in, say Asia or what they did in Minoan civilization around the same time.

But Egypt needs pride, and since they ain't got shiat NOW they have to fall back on "yeah well we used to be hot shiat" even if it means lying and making shiat up.

Not exactly new, or unique.

Yeah well Mount Rushmore actually looked like that when Columbus got here and Jesus carved the faces of four future great American Presidents there in the year AD 35


Jesus was a carpenter.

For Mount Rushmore, you need Masons.
 
2014-05-16 01:34:49 AM  
So, am I the only one who read that and felt nostalgic for the days of Qaddafi??
 
2014-05-16 01:39:41 AM  

WhoopAssWayne: Lord Jubjub: How do you respond to a guy that gives out complete truths and complete lies in equal numbers?

Vote him in for President twice?

//Go Barry!


You forget congress
 
2014-05-16 01:40:07 AM  

No Catchy Nickname: I have no idea if any of what's being reported here is true, but I think we are supposed to pointing out the contradiction between:

"The pyramids were built in 2800 BCE, whereas Abraham lived in 1700 BCE - he lived 1,000 years after the building of the pyramids. Even if we assume that they were around when the pyramids were built, there is a difference between shepherds, who know nothing about engineering, or about erecting such monumental structures, and who couldn't do much more than carry bricks, perhaps, and between the brilliant minds who could build such structures," claimed Al-Sissy.
"Anyone who knows this but still attacks [Egyptian] civilization must be working for global Zionism," he declared.

And this:

He then added, "I consider everything to have been planned here. Even the principles of Communism - it turns out that they were written by Ipuwer, the historian from the First Intermediate Period. He wrote that labor belongs to the laborers, that the land belongs to those who till it, and that the heavens do not rule the land, because there is no god. This is from the First Intermediate Period, after the Sixth Dynasty."

Because that's pretty funny.


Those particular laborers had a work-for-hire clause* in their contract*.

* Also invented by Egypt.
 
2014-05-16 01:41:42 AM  
They also claim to have invented the question mark.

/obscure?
 
2014-05-16 01:47:55 AM  

27B-6: " he claimed it was not the forefathers of the Jewish people who built the pyramids, but the Egyptians. "

Okay, so he got one thing right.

..... It  iscommon knowledge that the jews didn't build the pyramids, right?


For a really long time now.

Four or five millennia, in fact.
 
2014-05-16 01:52:49 AM  
 As well, he claimed it was not the forefathers of the Jewish people who built the pyramids, but the Egyptians.

... are there actually people in Israel so poorly educated that they don't know that this one is completely true?

Because this one is completely true.

// I guess broken clocks, twice a day, etc.
// Not sure how he screwed up the construction dates, though.
 
2014-05-16 02:02:32 AM  

Resident Muslim: So, am I the only one who read that and felt nostalgic for the days of Qaddafi??


Why?
 
2014-05-16 02:05:48 AM  

Candy Colored Clown: Resident Muslim: So, am I the only one who read that and felt nostalgic for the days of Qaddafi??

Why?


Because Libya and Egypt are practically the same country, I guess.
 
2014-05-16 02:06:11 AM  
 
2014-05-16 02:14:30 AM  
Egypt invented Communism? Nonsense. The Pyramids unlock Police State, not State Property. Big difference.
 
2014-05-16 02:15:29 AM  

Dimensio: They also claim to have invented the question mark.

/obscure?


I remember the line, but I can't remember where it's from.

/late
 
2014-05-16 02:19:45 AM  

TheBigJerk: Dimensio: They also claim to have invented the question mark.

/obscure?

I remember the line, but I can't remember where it's from.

/late


something something summers in Rangoon something luge lessons something
 
2014-05-16 02:39:07 AM  

Lord Jubjub: How do you respond to a guy that gives out complete truths and complete lies in equal numbers?


"Thank you, your Holiness"
 
2014-05-16 02:45:04 AM  

spawn73: Meethos: nekom: Unimpressed by your pyramids:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cahokia


A hill covered and surrounded by a bunch of mud huts, built around 1000 years ago?

I can appreciate the accomplishments of our native peoples, but lets not pretend they weren't 3 or 4 thousand years behind the rest of the world.

Seeing as they haven't invented the wheel yet, or writing, then 3-4 thousand years is a bit generous.

Other "new world" cultures did have writing though, using pictograms similar to the Egyptians. But obviously independently discovered (I'm sure this Egyptian dude would disagree, but whatever).


Mayan is a syllabary, like Korean, one of theJapanese forms (katakana?), and Sumerian.

And they did have wheels, but only on toys.  not a lot of call for wheels without horses or oxen to pull the cart.
 
2014-05-16 02:54:11 AM  

Bonzo_1116: spawn73: Meethos: nekom: Unimpressed by your pyramids:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cahokia


A hill covered and surrounded by a bunch of mud huts, built around 1000 years ago?

I can appreciate the accomplishments of our native peoples, but lets not pretend they weren't 3 or 4 thousand years behind the rest of the world.

Seeing as they haven't invented the wheel yet, or writing, then 3-4 thousand years is a bit generous.

Other "new world" cultures did have writing though, using pictograms similar to the Egyptians. But obviously independently discovered (I'm sure this Egyptian dude would disagree, but whatever).

Mayan is a syllabary, like Korean, one of theJapanese forms (katakana?), and Sumerian.

And they did have wheels, but only on toys.  not a lot of call for wheels without horses or oxen to pull the cart.


Or decent roads. Europeans got used to relying on wheeled transportation with the prevalence of the Roman roads system. The legions may have won the empire, but roads made it possible.
 
2014-05-16 03:38:57 AM  

Meethos: nekom: Unimpressed by your pyramids:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cahokia


A hill covered and surrounded by a bunch of mud huts, built around 1000 years ago?

I can appreciate the accomplishments of our native peoples, but lets not pretend they weren't 3 or 4 thousand years behind the rest of the world.


A) It was a lot more impressive when there were people in it and keeping it up;

B) They weren't "behind the rest of the world"; their technology was quite adequate to their needs and took maximum advantage of the available resources.

When you have no animals suitable for domestication into heavy draft labor, there will be no subsequent development of roads, wide-spread agriculture, large-scale building, etc.; nor will there be the kind of wide-ranging empire building that inevitably evolves upon the need for and control of such agriculture, building, irrigation, etc.

When you think of "civilization" and advanced technology that occurred in Europe and Asia and compare it to what went on in the Americas, you have to consider that what happened in Eurasia occurred only because there were suitable draft animals ready for domestication, which led to the development of the wheel and animal-assisted agriculture; in the Americas, it all had to be done by humans alone. Hence, the big leaps forward that can occur when there is a surplus of food (craft specialization, religion, literacy, science) simply can't occur when people remain low-density and subsistence level.

And anyway, Cahokia was big enough, the center of trade for the entire mound-builder culture and dominated North America for about 300 years; what more do you want? It was abandoned only after combined climate change and incursions by a more warlike people from the southwest created a wave of refugees into the north (funny how that works); and if it's not impressive today, well, when you don't build of stone, your legacy tends to erode after a while.
 
2014-05-16 03:56:34 AM  

Danger Avoid Death: Bonzo_1116: spawn73: Meethos: nekom: Unimpressed by your pyramids:  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cahokia


A hill covered and surrounded by a bunch of mud huts, built around 1000 years ago?

I can appreciate the accomplishments of our native peoples, but lets not pretend they weren't 3 or 4 thousand years behind the rest of the world.

Seeing as they haven't invented the wheel yet, or writing, then 3-4 thousand years is a bit generous.

Other "new world" cultures did have writing though, using pictograms similar to the Egyptians. But obviously independently discovered (I'm sure this Egyptian dude would disagree, but whatever).

Mayan is a syllabary, like Korean, one of theJapanese forms (katakana?), and Sumerian.

And they did have wheels, but only on toys.  not a lot of call for wheels without horses or oxen to pull the cart.

Or decent roads. Europeans got used to relying on wheeled transportation with the prevalence of the Roman roads system. The legions may have won the empire, but roads made it possible.


Using rivers proved to be just as effective (if not more so), as proved when they encountered the Germanic tribes expanding southward (and got their asses handed to them).

Rivers, canals and the sea was used in all areas where the Germanic tribes ruled until the invention of the steam engine.
 
2014-05-16 05:42:12 AM  

The Mulatto Maker: TheBigJerk: Dimensio: They also claim to have invented the question mark.

/obscure?

I remember the line, but I can't remember where it's from.

/late

something something summers in Rangoon something luge lessons something


Doctor Evil, from Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery:

"My father would womanize; he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy - the sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament..."
 
2014-05-16 06:14:05 AM  
Which Egyptians are claiming this, the ethnic Egyptians or the ones mostly descended from invading Arabs?
 
2014-05-16 06:23:47 AM  
"Anyone who knows this but still attacks [Egyptian] civilization must be working for global Zionism," he declared

Is this the Arab Version (tm) of Godwin's Law?  Oh shiat, did they invent Godwin's law too!?
 
2014-05-16 06:32:25 AM  
Some of the more memorable moments from my visits to Alezandrian and Cairo came from tour guides and other minor functionaries who went on at great length about how Egyptians are NOT Arabs, they really won all those wars against Israel, and everything of any value was first invented or theorized in ancient Egypt. The nutball in TFA was merely speaking to the cherished cultural myths held by many Egyptians.

One of my favorite ways to shut these people up was to ask who built Alexandria- followed by what happened to the Library there.
 
2014-05-16 06:55:58 AM  
A urologist named Sissy? Hmmm
 
2014-05-16 07:16:03 AM  

Gyrfalcon: Candy Colored Clown: Resident Muslim: So, am I the only one who read that and felt nostalgic for the days of Qaddafi??

Why?

Because Libya and Egypt are practically the same country, I guess.


No, not really.

I miss his antics and fashion 'sense'.
 
2014-05-16 07:18:57 AM  
Am I in before Louis CK?

They threw death and human suffering at it untill they where built.
 
2014-05-16 07:35:17 AM  
Is that the same guy who says when it rains, it screws up all your cloud-based data, and in America, after secret meetings they keep the conference rooms locked for an hour, otherwise you could go in there after the meeting and pull a record of everything that was said out of the air?
 
2014-05-16 08:14:01 AM  

Starshines: Inventing communism isn't exactly something to be proud of.


Just ask Jesus.
 
2014-05-16 08:18:40 AM  
They should build another one.
 
2014-05-16 08:30:14 AM  

jedihirsch: InterruptingQuirk: jedihirsch: If you want Israeli news from a religious-Zionist perspective, it is the only news agency out there for that view (though not everyone there is religious, but everyone there is very Zionistic and pro-settlement). Its the only good Israeli news agency from the right.

Are they managed by the successor to the Ministry of Public Enlightenment and Propaganda?

considering from the 70's till 1999 they were banned from broadcasting in Israel for being too conservative (They broadcasting from a boat off the coast and getting their people foreign correspondent passes by listing their address as in the US at the time), I doubt it. But they have a top notch investigative team, and I as much as I like the left-wing Haaretz too, Arutz Sheva has had far less issues of retractions for errors. They are a very good outlet

Yes.

ftfy
 
2014-05-16 08:33:01 AM  
Gyrfalcon:
A) It was a lot more impressive when there were people in it and keeping it up;

B) They weren't "behind the rest of the world"; their technology was quite adequate to their needs and took maximum advantage of the available resources.

When you have no animals suitable for domestication into heavy draft labor, there will be no subsequent development of roads, wide-spread agriculture, large-scale building, etc.; nor will there be the kind of wide-ranging empire building that inevitably evolves upon the need for and control of such agriculture, building, irrigation, etc.

When you think of "civilization" and advanced technology that occurred in Europe and Asia and compare it to what went on in the Americas, you have to consider that what happened in Eurasia occurred only because there were suitable draft animals ready for domestication, which led to the development of the wheel and animal-assisted agriculture; in the Americas, it all had to be done by humans alone. Hence, the big leaps forward that can occur when there is a surplus of food (craft specialization, religion, literacy, science) simply can't occur when people remain low-density and subsistence level.

And anyway, Cahokia was big enough, the center of trade for the entire mound-builder culture and dominated North America for about 300 years; what more do you want? It was abandoned only after combined climate change and incursions by a more warlike people from the southwest created a wave of refugees into the north (funny how that works); and if it's not impressive today, well, when you don't build of stone, your legacy tends to erode after a while.


upload.wikimedia.org
/great book
//big numbers ftw
///disease cascade
 
2014-05-16 08:33:43 AM  
"Britain, Britain, Britain. We've had running water for over ten years. We have a tunnel connecting us to Peru. And we invented the cat!"
 
2014-05-16 10:00:56 AM  
Or decent roads. Europeans got used to relying on wheeled transportation with the prevalence of the Roman roads system. The legions may have won the empire, but roads made it possible.

The Mayans did have good roads called "sacbes."  Unfortunately, without horses, you still had to lug your stuff around yourself.
 
2014-05-16 11:24:20 AM  
DNRTFTB yet, but FTFA: Egyptian urologist and Egyptologist says that Egypt invented pretty much everything.

He'd better stick to urology and leave archaeology to someone else. He must not have read anything about the Sumerians. Samuel Noah Kramer might be a good place to start.
 
2014-05-16 03:07:21 PM  
Gyrfalcon:

When you have no animals suitable for domestication into heavy draft labor, there will be no subsequent development of roads, wide-spread agriculture, large-scale building, etc.; nor will there be the kind of wide-ranging empire building that inevitably evolves upon the need for and control of such agriculture, building, irrigation, etc.

I read this often, but what of Bison? They had plenty of time to at least attempt to domesticate them.
 
2014-05-16 04:51:06 PM  

Meethos: Gyrfalcon:

When you have no animals suitable for domestication into heavy draft labor, there will be no subsequent development of roads, wide-spread agriculture, large-scale building, etc.; nor will there be the kind of wide-ranging empire building that inevitably evolves upon the need for and control of such agriculture, building, irrigation, etc.

I read this often, but what of Bison? They had plenty of time to at least attempt to domesticate them.


They domesticated the land (by setting fire to it) which encouraged the growth of grasslands afterwards, which increased the size of the bison and buffalo herds, which allowed them to easily hunt what they needed.

Mind you they had a lot of land to do this.  It is when you get into restrictive environments and larger populations that you have to get clever, like with domestication, farming and such.

And there was farming and domestication in the new world, just not on the scale as in Europe, Africa and Asia.
 
2014-05-16 05:29:42 PM  

real_headhoncho: And there was farming and domestication in the new world, just not on the scale as in Europe, Africa and Asia.


According to the 'low counters' crowd. The population estimates that most people know from their history books and the amount of agriculture should be amplified by about 500%. The forerunner cascade effect of disease that brought populations low ahead of European explorers initial counts has skewed the perception of these continents and its inhabitants for over 500 years.
 
2014-05-17 02:29:54 AM  

Meethos: Gyrfalcon:

When you have no animals suitable for domestication into heavy draft labor, there will be no subsequent development of roads, wide-spread agriculture, large-scale building, etc.; nor will there be the kind of wide-ranging empire building that inevitably evolves upon the need for and control of such agriculture, building, irrigation, etc.

I read this often, but what of Bison? They had plenty of time to at least attempt to domesticate them.


Why? There were millions of them. Why domesticate them? When you wanted one, you could just go out and kill one. Catching a bison alive rather than killing one from ambush would have been impossible for the horseless plains Indians. And once they had horses, it became even easier to kill bison.

There was no way the Indians were going to domesticate the bison. Bison are too mean-tempered (they injure more than 3 times as many people in Yellowstone as bears), fast (can run 35-40 mph), agile (can jump up to 6 feet vertically) to domesticate in the sense of having one as a docile family milk cow.

Currently, American bison are kept in herds for meat production, using thoroughly modern ranching methods: pickup trucks and fencing. The herds can be somewhat contained using barbed wire and razor wire, but all it takes is one pissed off one-ton bull to make short work of any fencing. And keep in mind that today's bison have been rendered more docile through interbreeding with cattle (of the half a million bison left in North America, it is estimated that only 12,000-15,000 pure-bred bison exist).

Now, you give the pre-Columbian plains Indians pickup trucks and barbed wire and, sure, they could "domesicate" the bison just like we have. Which is to say, just barely.
 
Displayed 100 of 100 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is archived, and closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »
On Twitter






In Other Media


  1. Links are submitted by members of the Fark community.

  2. When community members submit a link, they also write a custom headline for the story.

  3. Other Farkers comment on the links. This is the number of comments. Click here to read them.

  4. Click here to submit a link.

Report