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(MSN)   Dear Parents, Your daughter, Pistol, is in violation of our school's No Tolerance Policy. She is expelled forever. Next time pick a normal name, like Vanellope or Burklee   (living.msn.com) divider line 169
    More: Silly, Dear Parents, new word, baby names  
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11708 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2014 at 6:41 PM (17 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



169 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-15 03:59:25 PM
LOL @ Vanellope
 
2014-05-15 04:07:16 PM

flucto: LOL @ Vanellope


That was one of the more normal sounding ones on the list.

Who are the brony couples naming their kids Rarity?   Also, Kyndle, really?  Some kids are being set up for a life of crime (Tuf, Vice) or a life on the pole (Envie, Kinzington).

I'm not sure WTF is up with the Subarus, and how do you pronounce Jceion?
 
2014-05-15 04:10:54 PM

flucto: LOL @ Vanellope


The von Schweetz family must be pissed.
 
2014-05-15 04:15:47 PM
Come on, Burklee is a boys name.
 
2014-05-15 04:27:51 PM
It's only a matter of time before Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho is born..
 
2014-05-15 04:33:03 PM
I would figure that I could find an archived copy of the Misanthropic Biatch's rant on bad baby names, but it would seem that in this case, the internet has forgotten.
 
2014-05-15 04:42:30 PM

Dancin_In_Anson: I would figure that I could find an archived copy of the Misanthropic Biatch's rant on bad baby names, but it would seem that in this case, the internet has forgotten.


it's still out there.
 
2014-05-15 04:43:30 PM

TuteTibiImperes: flucto: LOL @ Vanellope

That was one of the more normal sounding ones on the list.

Who are the brony couples naming their kids Rarity?   Also, Kyndle, really?  Some kids are being set up for a life of crime (Tuf, Vice) or a life on the pole (Envie, Kinzington).

I'm not sure WTF is up with the Subarus, and how do you pronounce Jceion?


I'd guess "Jason"
 
2014-05-15 04:51:22 PM

Aarontology: TuteTibiImperes: flucto: LOL @ Vanellope

That was one of the more normal sounding ones on the list.

Who are the brony couples naming their kids Rarity?   Also, Kyndle, really?  Some kids are being set up for a life of crime (Tuf, Vice) or a life on the pole (Envie, Kinzington).

I'm not sure WTF is up with the Subarus, and how do you pronounce Jceion?

I'd guess "Jason"


I'm gonna guess Jay-sea-on.
 
2014-05-15 04:55:37 PM
Jadeveon Clowney
 
2014-05-15 04:59:00 PM

dr_blasto: it's still out there.


My google and yahoo-fu are weak...weak I tell you. Found a lot of links but all were dead.
 
2014-05-15 05:00:01 PM

markie_farkie: Jadeveon Clowney


I see your Jadeveon Clowney and raise you a Barkevious Mingo.

/subby
 
2014-05-15 05:00:43 PM

scottydoesntknow: Aarontology: TuteTibiImperes: flucto: LOL @ Vanellope

That was one of the more normal sounding ones on the list.

Who are the brony couples naming their kids Rarity?   Also, Kyndle, really?  Some kids are being set up for a life of crime (Tuf, Vice) or a life on the pole (Envie, Kinzington).

I'm not sure WTF is up with the Subarus, and how do you pronounce Jceion?

I'd guess "Jason"

I'm gonna guess Jay-sea-on.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dd7FixvoKBw
 
2014-05-15 05:05:22 PM

markie_farkie: It's only a matter of time before Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho is born..


3.bp.blogspot.com

"We named the dog Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho."
 
2014-05-15 05:19:06 PM

Dancin_In_Anson: dr_blasto: it's still out there.

My google and yahoo-fu are weak...weak I tell you. Found a lot of links but all were dead.


archive.org has it.

http://web.archive.org/web/20011029082703/http://www.misanthropic-biatch.com/briandrye.html

filters will probably break the link. How so will be obvious.
 
2014-05-15 05:26:35 PM

dr_blasto: archive.org has it.


Thanks! I went to archive from a google link but it took me to another rant and wouldn't let me go to the one I wanted.

I wonder what ever happened to her. She was funny as shiat.
 
2014-05-15 05:46:27 PM

Dancin_In_Anson: dr_blasto: archive.org has it.

Thanks! I went to archive from a google link but it took me to another rant and wouldn't let me go to the one I wanted.

I wonder what ever happened to her. She was funny as shiat.


she was booted from her provider after her 9/11 rant. moved, faded away.
 
2014-05-15 06:47:17 PM
My son, Akfortyseven, is getting quite a kick...
 
2014-05-15 06:47:34 PM
Burklee ?
Oh, sorry read that wrong, what I was seeing has more K's
 
2014-05-15 06:47:35 PM
I liked the Mom character on the show "The Millers" said that kids names today  are as if parents were trying to make do with a bunch of Scrabble tiles.
Was reading an article in my hometown news of public housing. The accompanying pics had kids with nothing that to me resemble a "normal" sounding name, like "Steve". Time to cue the Onion chart of names, like "Propecia".
 
2014-05-15 06:47:57 PM

Danger Avoid Death: markie_farkie: It's only a matter of time before Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho is born..



"We named the dog Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho."


That is nearly the exact picture I had in my head when I browsed the list and thought to myself "I actually like the name Charlemagne".
 
2014-05-15 06:47:58 PM

Danger Avoid Death: markie_farkie: Jadeveon Clowney

I see your Jadeveon Clowney and raise you a Barkevious Mingo.

/subby


I'm all-in
 
2014-05-15 06:50:42 PM
Sometimes, while watching football, I like to see which names would win at scrabble.
 
2014-05-15 06:51:10 PM

Danger Avoid Death: markie_farkie: Jadeveon Clowney

I see your Jadeveon Clowney and raise you a Barkevious Mingo.

/subby


No mention of Ha Ha Clinton-Dix?
 
2014-05-15 06:51:13 PM
Burklee? I use Burpee seeds in my garden.
 
2014-05-15 06:51:32 PM
Wait. Wouldn't Pistol be a boys name? Shouldn't her name be Stamen?
 
2014-05-15 06:52:25 PM
Somebody watched too much Goof Troop in the 90s.
 
2014-05-15 06:53:20 PM
Seriously, who farking cares? As long as the teachers can pronounce it, I don't see why people get their knickers in a twist over it.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I understand why websites put together these lists. It's so stupid people will give them clicks.
 
2014-05-15 06:53:22 PM
Just claim it should have been "Pistil", like the flower part.
 
2014-05-15 06:53:50 PM
When did Dayna become common?
 
2014-05-15 06:55:31 PM
Also: "Dementress".
 
2014-05-15 06:55:34 PM
Does she look like this?

img3.wikia.nocookie.net

/don't tell me it's obscure
 
2014-05-15 06:56:18 PM
"Vice" is the male infant version of a strippername.

"Subaru", "Tuf", and "Kyndie" will be regularly pounded.

/Better off naming them all "Sue" in spite of the occasional attorney.
 
2014-05-15 06:56:57 PM
I met some girl named Teira (tea-air-uhh) and thought that was bad. I didn't know it was so much worse. At least there's no Pnsgltn (NSFW).
 
2014-05-15 06:59:17 PM

demaL-demaL-yeH: "Vice" is the male infant version of a strippername.

"Subaru", "Tuf", and "Kyndie" will be regularly pounded.

/Better off naming them all "Sue" in spite of the occasional attorney.


a4.files.saymedia-content.com

/approves of not naming them Sue
 
2014-05-15 07:00:05 PM
cdn.static.ovimg.com

The Pete family unavailable for comment?
 
2014-05-15 07:04:13 PM

abhorrent1: Wait. Wouldn't Pistol be a boys name? Shouldn't her name be Stamen?


I think Stigma would work on multiple levels.
 
2014-05-15 07:04:15 PM

TuteTibiImperes: flucto: LOL @ Vanellope

That was one of the more normal sounding ones on the list.

Who are the brony couples naming their kids Rarity?   Also, Kyndle, really?  Some kids are being set up for a life of crime (Tuf, Vice) or a life on the pole (Envie, Kinzington).

I'm not sure WTF is up with the Subarus, and how do you pronounce Jceion?



I read that unaware Bronies could even conceive, much less name children.
 
2014-05-15 07:05:25 PM

Mikey1969: Seriously, who farking cares? As long as the teachers can pronounce it, I don't see why people get their knickers in a twist over it.

Oh, don't get me wrong, I understand why websites put together these lists. It's so stupid people will give them clicks.


Even little kids understand funny names. I told my daughter that we were going to meet my cousin Clark and she said,"Hehe, Clark. That's a funny name."
 
2014-05-15 07:07:38 PM
Hello, my name is Kaptain Forever Power Warrior, and I'm an alcoholic.
 
2014-05-15 07:08:04 PM
I heard of a "K-a".

Pronounced kaDASHa.

"The dash is not silent"
 
2014-05-15 07:09:17 PM
Pistol, we would welcome a young lady of your caliber at Seishou Academy.

myanimeshelf.com
 
2014-05-15 07:09:37 PM
Did anyone else expect an article about Sarah Palin and her brood?
 
2014-05-15 07:11:11 PM
My son, PhoQueue, may also have problems at this school.
 
2014-05-15 07:12:34 PM
Many of them sound like they'd be right at home in a gang

//of strippers
 
2014-05-15 07:12:51 PM
as someone who recently sat thru a graduation ceremony of 2000 kids, this trend has been out of hand for a while (seeing how the graduates are all 20+).  The readers had no trouble with foreign names (one reader teaches Chinese and the other is English as a second language teacher)...the ones they struggled with pronouncing the most and had to ask the person how to pronounce it were the names of African-American students.  I can only imagine how ridiculous it will be in another decade or two.

They don't display the names, so I can only guess how some were spelled...one that I remember was Unique Rose middle-name last-name, and since the speaker struggled with "Unique" I can only imagine how it was spelled.

/one daughter on the way...we flirted with Rebel as a first name, but are going with Reagan
 
2014-05-15 07:12:55 PM
Naming girls Madison was the turning point. I blame Daryl Hannah.

We're getting closer now to full circle, back to "naming" children by grunting out a set of quasi-random syllables which the parents are unable to put into intelligible writing.

Someday we'll come back around to a limited set of socially-acceptable traditional names - but they'll be names like MackEnzzee-Boo and Brahvalisho, and naming a kid Madison will seem hopelessly pretentious.

Yours in Preferred Nomenclature,

Monkeyfark Crimefighter Ridiculous
 
2014-05-15 07:13:13 PM
Charlemagne?

For a girl?
 
2014-05-15 07:15:44 PM

JonnyBGoode: Charlemagne?

For a girl?


It's pronounced Sher-ly-may-jean
 
2014-05-15 07:18:36 PM

markie_farkie: It's only a matter of time before Dwayne Elizondo Mountain Dew Herbert Camacho is born..


When that day comes, mark it on the calendar. Remember where you are that day, and whatever you're doing. Never forget it. That day will be forever in history. That day will be the beginning of... THE END.
 
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