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(AZ Family)   Beekeeper tries to introduce a couple of new queen bees to the hives in her backyard. Since this is Fark, you can guess how that plan went   (azfamily.com) divider line 61
    More: Scary, 12th Street  
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12055 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2014 at 8:50 PM (1 year ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



61 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-15 05:00:06 PM  
Five thousand male bees with neckbeards crowded around the two new bees insisting that they e-mail them their boobs, until the queens got sick of it all, packed up and left?
 
2014-05-15 05:08:49 PM  
Angry queens?
 
433 [TotalFark]
2014-05-15 05:15:08 PM  
"The woman who was taken to the hospital was reportedly stung about a dozen times but is expected to be OK."

One dozen.  The was reportedly stung about one dozen times.
 
2014-05-15 05:16:06 PM  
At first I was like:
media.tumblr.com

But then I was like:
big.assets.huffingtonpost.com
 
2014-05-15 05:19:12 PM  

433: "The woman who was taken to the hospital was reportedly stung about a dozen times but is expected to be OK."

One dozen.  The was reportedly stung about one dozen times.


Rotsky? Is that you?
 
2014-05-15 05:28:41 PM  
img4.wikia.nocookie.net
Not available for comment.
 
2014-05-15 06:44:41 PM  

SlothB77: 433: "The woman who was taken to the hospital was reportedly stung about a dozen times but is expected to be OK."

One dozen.  The was reportedly stung about one dozen times.

Rotsky? Is that you?


heh...
 
2014-05-15 06:51:17 PM  
"Course," he went on, righting himself, "the real fun starts if the weather's bad and the ole queen can't swarm, right?" He moved his hand in a sly circular motion. "What happens then is, the two queens - that's the old queen, right? And the new queen - the two queens start astalkin' one another among the combs, with the rain adrummin' on the roof of the hive, and the business of the hive agoin' on all around them," Mr. Brooks moved his hands graphically, and Magrat leaned forward, "all among the combs, the drones all hummin', and all the time they can sense one another, 'cos they can tell, see, and then they spots one another and-"

"Yes? Yes?" said Magrat, leaning forward.

"Slash! Stab!"

Magrat hit her head on the wall of the hut.

"Can't have more'n one queen in a hive," said Mr. Brooks calmly.

/DNRTFA
 
2014-05-15 07:09:21 PM  
The bees fixed the cable?

/industrious little bastards
 
2014-05-15 07:39:19 PM  
Another victim of Obama's drone program. =(
 
2014-05-15 07:41:05 PM  
I thought my "new bee" pun was screamingly hilarious.

Maybe it's time to put the lid back on the rubber cement.
 
2014-05-15 08:58:55 PM  
Bees, My God.
 
2014-05-15 08:59:12 PM  
"A beekeeper was reportedly trying to introduce a couple of new queen bees to the hives in her backyard when the bees revolted and chased people down the street."

img.fark.net

OFF WITH THEIR HEADS!!!
 
2014-05-15 09:00:40 PM  
The moral of the story is even honey bees hate welfare queens.
 
2014-05-15 09:00:47 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-15 09:03:43 PM  

brap: Five thousand male bees with neckbeards crowded around the two new bees insisting that they e-mail them their boobs, until the queens got sick of it all, packed up and left?


Most bees are female.  Only a few are ever born male and that's a deliberate choice by the hive.

Just sayin
 
2014-05-15 09:18:35 PM  
Advice for bees: Bee all that you can Bee

/Bees are happy cause they're always buzzed
 
2014-05-15 09:23:24 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-15 09:25:06 PM  

gopher321: The bees fixed the cable?

/industrious little bastards


Don't bee fatuous, Jeffrey.
 
2014-05-15 09:27:54 PM  
Either as a "thank you" or an apology, the beekeeper gave the firefighters a big jar of honey.

Fark the victims
 
2014-05-15 09:30:42 PM  

Infernalist: Most bees are female.  Only a few are ever born male and that's a deliberate choice by the hive.

Just sayin


So are most Fark log-ins.

How the hell do you think I ever got anything purchased for me off my wish list?
 
2014-05-15 09:35:41 PM  
It's not nice to fool with mother nature.
 
2014-05-15 09:37:10 PM  
Came for the Tommy Boy gif.

/leaving sad
 
2014-05-15 10:13:49 PM  

mediablitz: Angry queens?


Not gonna google-image that.
 
2014-05-15 10:15:15 PM  

brap: Infernalist: Most bees are female.  Only a few are ever born male and that's a deliberate choice by the hive.

Just sayin

So are most Fark log-ins.

How the hell do you think I ever got anything purchased for me off my wish list?


By being an amusing coont, perchance?

Also:

Bees?

Not the Bees!

/shiat like that is why it's worth paying the license fee to the Bee Bee C.
//Wait, I think they may have a pro-bee agenda.
///Hail bees.
 
2014-05-15 10:28:39 PM  

iron de havilland: "Course," he went on, righting himself, "the real fun starts if the weather's bad and the ole queen can't swarm, right?" He moved his hand in a sly circular motion. "What happens then is, the two queens - that's the old queen, right? And the new queen - the two queens start astalkin' one another among the combs, with the rain adrummin' on the roof of the hive, and the business of the hive agoin' on all around them," Mr. Brooks moved his hands graphically, and Magrat leaned forward, "all among the combs, the drones all hummin', and all the time they can sense one another, 'cos they can tell, see, and then they spots one another and-"

"Yes? Yes?" said Magrat, leaning forward.

"Slash! Stab!"

Magrat hit her head on the wall of the hut.

"Can't have more'n one queen in a hive," said Mr. Brooks calmly.

/DNRTFA


"So you want to be queen?"

/Damnit you beat me to this.
 
2014-05-15 10:41:45 PM  
This is a stupid question, but why doesn't the bee keeper face charges? They are animals under its control, like dogs and exotic pets.  The person did not control the bees and people were hurt.
 
2014-05-15 10:42:31 PM  

Maggie_Luna: This is a stupid question, but why doesn't the bee keeper face charges? They are animals under its control, like dogs and exotic pets.  The person did not control the bees and people were hurt.


Perhaps it is better to say the beekeeper provoked the bees.
 
2014-05-15 10:51:01 PM  
I thought you removed Queens from the hive so other bees become queen, you don't introduce new queens. Maybe some apiary expert can enlighten me
 
2014-05-15 11:01:28 PM  
www.makeupandbeautyblog.com

But would've been safer if they had the:

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-15 11:10:31 PM  

Faddy: I thought you removed Queens from the hive so other bees become queen, you don't introduce new queens. Maybe some apiary expert can enlighten me


'Emergency' queens (larvae originally intended to become workers that are forced to become queens) tend to not be as healthy as queens that were intentionally reared as such, and the hives tend not to produce as well.
 
2014-05-15 11:14:39 PM  
... Actually, there is one thing about bees, and the highly organized hive structure, and the *REALLY* specialized biology (royal jelly, etc etc) that fascinates me:

How the FARK did that evolve?
(I mean, I believe it DID evolve, just.. trying to figure out what the HELL the selective pressures were!)
 
2014-05-15 11:27:50 PM  

Felgraf: iron de havilland: "Course," he went on, righting himself, "the real fun starts if the weather's bad and the ole queen can't swarm, right?" He moved his hand in a sly circular motion. "What happens then is, the two queens - that's the old queen, right? And the new queen - the two queens start astalkin' one another among the combs, with the rain adrummin' on the roof of the hive, and the business of the hive agoin' on all around them," Mr. Brooks moved his hands graphically, and Magrat leaned forward, "all among the combs, the drones all hummin', and all the time they can sense one another, 'cos they can tell, see, and then they spots one another and-"

"Yes? Yes?" said Magrat, leaning forward.

"Slash! Stab!"

Magrat hit her head on the wall of the hut.

"Can't have more'n one queen in a hive," said Mr. Brooks calmly.

/DNRTFA

"So you want to be queen?"

/Damnit you beat me to this.


Witches of Lancre FTW.

/Now I gotta read me some more Discworld.
 
2014-05-15 11:29:32 PM  

Felgraf: ... Actually, there is one thing about bees, and the highly organized hive structure, and the *REALLY* specialized biology (royal jelly, etc etc) that fascinates me:

How the FARK did that evolve?
(I mean, I believe it DID evolve, just.. trying to figure out what the HELL the selective pressures were!)


Royal jelly isn't too mysterious.  It's a much more nutritious diet (high in protein) than workers get, so queens develop larger and fully sexually mature (although a number of workers are sexually mature too, though unmated, so they can only produce male offspring).

There's a lot of different social structures among wasps, bees, and ants, from colonies with multiple queens or fertile workers in a strict dominance hierarchy all the way to single-queen hives with virtually no worker-laid offspring.  Most likely the dominant evolutionary pressure is just survival - females fighting for dominance or killing the offspring of other females weakens the hive.  Worker policing, where workers kill other worker-laid eggs, is common.
 
2014-05-15 11:31:25 PM  

Faddy: I thought you removed Queens from the hive so other bees become queen, you don't introduce new queens. Maybe some apiary expert can enlighten me


Queens sometimes get old, or unproductive, or sometimes people put wild swarms in hives and they turn out to be overly aggressive.
You can control these factors by removing the old queen and introducing a new queen that has traits that you want -- more docile behavior, better honey or larvae production, not prone to swarm, etc.  Since worker bees live only for a few weeks anyway, it doesn't take long for her offspring to completely replace the current hive.
 
2014-05-15 11:33:12 PM  

Sum Dum Gai: It's a much more nutritious diet (high in protein) than workers get, so queens develop larger and fully sexually mature


Also I'm pretty sure royal jelly contains high levels of certain hormones, probably to stimulate sexual development.
 
2014-05-15 11:48:25 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-15 11:54:32 PM  

brap: I thought my "new bee" pun was screamingly hilarious.

Maybe it's time to put the lid back on the rubber cement.


Very clever!
 
2014-05-16 12:08:28 AM  
Let me be your ruler - you can call me Queen Bee - and baby I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule, I'll rule. Let me live that fantasy.
 
2014-05-16 12:16:10 AM  
I'm waiting for the something awful post about the bees on the swing set that was set a blaze.
 
2014-05-16 12:21:03 AM  

433: "The woman who was taken to the hospital was reportedly stung about a dozen times but is expected to be OK."

One dozen.  The was reportedly stung about one dozen times.


What's the difference?
 
2014-05-16 12:29:41 AM  
Bad but not as bad as it thought, i thought some dumb ass introduced some africanized ( aka killer) queens to their hives.
 
2014-05-16 12:41:53 AM  
Thanks for the bee tutorial :)
 
2014-05-16 01:21:05 AM  
Phoenix? Those must have been Mexicanized Bees.
 
2014-05-16 01:37:41 AM  
Send in the Roughnecks to take out that queen.
 
2014-05-16 01:43:46 AM  

Maggie_Luna: This is a stupid question, but why doesn't the bee keeper face charges? They are animals under its control, like dogs and exotic pets.  The person did not control the bees and people were hurt.


Probably like how a dog owner wouldn't be held responsible if his dog went nuts for the first time, broke THROUGH a glass door and attacked somebody.  The dog wasn't previously nuts, there was safeguards in place, the owner didn't act negligently.

Why should the bee keeper face charges?  Re-queening a hive is a standard process, there were no signs.  When they discovered their hives amok, they destroyed them.

BTW, local hives like this are important otherwise killer bees will move in.

Gawdzila: Faddy: I thought you removed Queens from the hive so other bees become queen, you don't introduce new queens. Maybe some apiary expert can enlighten me

Queens sometimes get old, or unproductive, or sometimes people put wild swarms in hives and they turn out to be overly aggressive.


I understand that down south many will requeen the hive annually to prevent interbreeding with 'killer bee' drones.
 
2014-05-16 02:05:50 AM  

thisisyourbrainonFark: 433: "The woman who was taken to the hospital was reportedly stung about a dozen times but is expected to be OK."

One dozen.  The was reportedly stung about one dozen times.

What's the difference?


That is what Hillary said.
 
2014-05-16 08:25:45 AM  
Speaking of stingy things, I saw the largest farking wasp I have ever seen yesterday. It was the size of my thumb. Holy crap. I trapped it in my French doors but it escaped. Outside, thank FSM. I really hope it was an anomaly. I do not want a swarm of those bastages in my yard.

/CNY
 
2014-05-16 09:13:11 AM  

Sum Dum Gai: Felgraf: ... Actually, there is one thing about bees, and the highly organized hive structure, and the *REALLY* specialized biology (royal jelly, etc etc) that fascinates me:

How the FARK did that evolve?
(I mean, I believe it DID evolve, just.. trying to figure out what the HELL the selective pressures were!)

Royal jelly isn't too mysterious.  It's a much more nutritious diet (high in protein) than workers get, so queens develop larger and fully sexually mature (although a number of workers are sexually mature too, though unmated, so they can only produce male offspring).

There's a lot of different social structures among wasps, bees, and ants, from colonies with multiple queens or fertile workers in a strict dominance hierarchy all the way to single-queen hives with virtually no worker-laid offspring.  Most likely the dominant evolutionary pressure is just survival - females fighting for dominance or killing the offspring of other females weakens the hive.  Worker policing, where workers kill other worker-laid eggs, is common.


I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. Seriously. How did you come by your knowledge of the Apis order?
 
2014-05-16 09:15:24 AM  

namegoeshere: Speaking of stingy things, I saw the largest farking wasp I have ever seen yesterday. It was the size of my thumb. Holy crap. I trapped it in my French doors but it escaped. Outside, thank FSM. I really hope it was an anomaly. I do not want a swarm of those bastages in my yard.

/CNY


Was it yellow and black like a giant bumble bee? There's a huge wasp called the cicada killer wasp that looks dangerous as hell, but they aren't aggressive at all. They lay their eggs in cicadas.
 
2014-05-16 09:24:44 AM  
The bees! They are defending themselves somehow!
 
2014-05-16 09:48:39 AM  

Alfonse Gregory: I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. Seriously. How did you come by your knowledge of the Apis order?


I grew up living close to my aunt and uncle, and he was a hobbyist beekeeper with 15-20 hives at the peak of his operations.  I'd help out sometimes, especially when it came time to extract the honey, and the local beekeepers were a pretty close social circle so I got to know most of the beekeepers in the area.  It's why I appreciate bees (although it only increased my dislike of wasps, who can be major predators of bees).
 
2014-05-16 09:50:57 AM  

namegoeshere: Speaking of stingy things, I saw the largest farking wasp I have ever seen yesterday. It was the size of my thumb. Holy crap. I trapped it in my French doors but it escaped. Outside, thank FSM. I really hope it was an anomaly. I do not want a swarm of those bastages in my yard.

/CNY


It was probably a cicada killer.  Not aggressive.
 
2014-05-16 10:05:04 AM  

Alfonse Gregory: namegoeshere: Speaking of stingy things, I saw the largest farking wasp I have ever seen yesterday. It was the size of my thumb. Holy crap. I trapped it in my French doors but it escaped. Outside, thank FSM. I really hope it was an anomaly. I do not want a swarm of those bastages in my yard.

/CNY

Was it yellow and black like a giant bumble bee? There's a huge wasp called the cicada killer wasp that looks dangerous as hell, but they aren't aggressive at all. They lay their eggs in cicadas.


[Google] The butt end was a lot more yellow than that looks. When I have a minute, I'll look at pics and try to spot it.
 
2014-05-16 12:24:21 PM  

namegoeshere: Alfonse Gregory: namegoeshere: Speaking of stingy things, I saw the largest farking wasp I have ever seen yesterday. It was the size of my thumb. Holy crap. I trapped it in my French doors but it escaped. Outside, thank FSM. I really hope it was an anomaly. I do not want a swarm of those bastages in my yard.

/CNY

Was it yellow and black like a giant bumble bee? There's a huge wasp called the cicada killer wasp that looks dangerous as hell, but they aren't aggressive at all. They lay their eggs in cicadas.

[Google] The butt end was a lot more yellow than that looks. When I have a minute, I'll look at pics and try to spot it.


There are different varieties, but I'd bet it was one of 'em. Not dangerous, unless you're a cicada.
 
2014-05-16 02:50:10 PM  

Alfonse Gregory: namegoeshere: Alfonse Gregory: namegoeshere: Speaking of stingy things, I saw the largest farking wasp I have ever seen yesterday. It was the size of my thumb. Holy crap. I trapped it in my French doors but it escaped. Outside, thank FSM. I really hope it was an anomaly. I do not want a swarm of those bastages in my yard.

/CNY

Was it yellow and black like a giant bumble bee? There's a huge wasp called the cicada killer wasp that looks dangerous as hell, but they aren't aggressive at all. They lay their eggs in cicadas.

[Google] The butt end was a lot more yellow than that looks. When I have a minute, I'll look at pics and try to spot it.

There are different varieties, but I'd bet it was one of 'em. Not dangerous, unless you're a cicada.


If it was the size described, my money would be on the European Hornet:

encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com

Here's a small one:

encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com

Here is a nice size comparison:

2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-16 03:21:18 PM  

washington-babylon: Alfonse Gregory: namegoeshere: Alfonse Gregory: namegoeshere: Speaking of stingy things, I saw the largest farking wasp I have ever seen yesterday. It was the size of my thumb. Holy crap. I trapped it in my French doors but it escaped. Outside, thank FSM. I really hope it was an anomaly. I do not want a swarm of those bastages in my yard.

/CNY

Was it yellow and black like a giant bumble bee? There's a huge wasp called the cicada killer wasp that looks dangerous as hell, but they aren't aggressive at all. They lay their eggs in cicadas.

[Google] The butt end was a lot more yellow than that looks. When I have a minute, I'll look at pics and try to spot it.

There are different varieties, but I'd bet it was one of 'em. Not dangerous, unless you're a cicada.

If it was the size described, my money would be on the European Hornet:

[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 245x205]

Here's a small one:

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 300x168]

Here is a nice size comparison:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x758]


That last one looks like it. It was bigger, or my brain made it so, which I admit is a possibility.

I am not afraid of bees (beekeeper in the family - Mmmmmm.... unlimited free honey...) but that sucker?

NOPE.
 
2014-05-16 06:31:45 PM  

namegoeshere: washington-babylon: Alfonse Gregory: namegoeshere: Alfonse Gregory: namegoeshere: Speaking of stingy things, I saw the largest farking wasp I have ever seen yesterday. It was the size of my thumb. Holy crap. I trapped it in my French doors but it escaped. Outside, thank FSM. I really hope it was an anomaly. I do not want a swarm of those bastages in my yard.

/CNY

Was it yellow and black like a giant bumble bee? There's a huge wasp called the cicada killer wasp that looks dangerous as hell, but they aren't aggressive at all. They lay their eggs in cicadas.

[Google] The butt end was a lot more yellow than that looks. When I have a minute, I'll look at pics and try to spot it.

There are different varieties, but I'd bet it was one of 'em. Not dangerous, unless you're a cicada.

If it was the size described, my money would be on the European Hornet:

[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 245x205]

Here's a small one:

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 300x168]

Here is a nice size comparison:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x758]

That last one looks like it. It was bigger, or my brain made it so, which I admit is a possibility.

I am not afraid of bees (beekeeper in the family - Mmmmmm.... unlimited free honey...) but that sucker?

NOPE.


Fun story about hornets.  When I was in Turkey, my tour guide, who was an archaeologist before he got into the tourism business, said that one of the workers when he was on a dig put a scorpion on his arm and got it to sting him because, hey, scorpion stings suck, but aren't life threatening, and he wanted a day off.  This same guy was terrified of hornets, because they can kill you, and their stings hurt like hell.  Apparently they have the colloquial name of "Donkey Bee," because they kill people's livestock (esp. donkeys).

/csb
 
2014-05-16 09:35:34 PM  

Kommunaut: namegoeshere: washington-babylon: Alfonse Gregory: namegoeshere: Alfonse Gregory: namegoeshere: Speaking of stingy things, I saw the largest farking wasp I have ever seen yesterday. It was the size of my thumb. Holy crap. I trapped it in my French doors but it escaped. Outside, thank FSM. I really hope it was an anomaly. I do not want a swarm of those bastages in my yard.

/CNY

Was it yellow and black like a giant bumble bee? There's a huge wasp called the cicada killer wasp that looks dangerous as hell, but they aren't aggressive at all. They lay their eggs in cicadas.

[Google] The butt end was a lot more yellow than that looks. When I have a minute, I'll look at pics and try to spot it.

There are different varieties, but I'd bet it was one of 'em. Not dangerous, unless you're a cicada.

If it was the size described, my money would be on the European Hornet:

[encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com image 245x205]

Here's a small one:

[encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com image 300x168]

Here is a nice size comparison:

[2.bp.blogspot.com image 850x758]

That last one looks like it. It was bigger, or my brain made it so, which I admit is a possibility.

I am not afraid of bees (beekeeper in the family - Mmmmmm.... unlimited free honey...) but that sucker?

NOPE.

Fun story about hornets.  When I was in Turkey, my tour guide, who was an archaeologist before he got into the tourism business, said that one of the workers when he was on a dig put a scorpion on his arm and got it to sting him because, hey, scorpion stings suck, but aren't life threatening, and he wanted a day off.  This same guy was terrified of hornets, because they can kill you, and their stings hurt like hell.  Apparently they have the colloquial name of "Donkey Bee," because they kill people's livestock (esp. donkeys).

/csb


Yikes. Like I said, NOPE!
 
2014-05-16 10:00:10 PM  

namegoeshere: That last one looks like it. It was bigger, or my brain made it so, which I admit is a possibility.


Could well have been a queen.  At this point in the year, depending on your climate there might only be queens flying around right now, as for most wasp species they are all that survive the winter.
 
2014-05-16 10:57:17 PM  

Faddy: I thought you removed Queens from the hive so other bees become queen, you don't introduce new queens. Maybe some apiary expert can enlighten me


The proper way to do this is to grab the old queen carefully and remove her quickly from the hive. They won't realize she is gone for a while until her pheremone scent goes away. Then they will either try to breed another queen from an egg cell with royal jelly or you introduce another caged queen in a screened box with a sugar plug so they get used to her scent. They eat the sugar plug that separates them in a couple of days and she crawls out and replaces the missing queen.
 
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