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(Gawker)   "I pulled you over because you went through a stoplight. Can I see your license?" "It's in my wallet, the one that says bad motherfarker." "I have to let you go now"   (gawker.com) divider line 19
    More: Spiffy, traffic lights, Nicholas Serra, safe-deposit boxes, wallets  
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20337 clicks; posted to Main » on 15 May 2014 at 7:04 PM (22 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-05-15 07:59:42 PM  
3 votes:
I have so many speeding tickets in 2 states I have become quite the expert in traffic stops. I am black so no matter what I say or do I get a ticket 90% of the time. I have tried being really nice, being really rude, being funny, being quite I haven't tried being white that might work though.

So now I just try to feel the individual cop out and if they aren't a total jerk I try to have fun with them. Last time I got pulled over he asked me if I knew how fast I was going on the on ramp, I asked "which on ramp" which got me the dirtiest look possible. He followed up with I was doing 95 (in a 65). So I said. "Oh really thats it?" then got really quite with a smirk on my face like I just got away with murder. Cause I did, I was doing well over 130 just minutes before he saw me.

My favorite was when I got pulled over doing 88 in a car that only had a Speedo that went to 80 (94 Mercury tracer which was the ford escort for those poor people who couldn't afford the mercury model). He asked me how fast I was going and I knew It was well over the 80 mark as the speedo was covering the M in MPH at the bottom of speedo on its way back around to 0. I looked at the cop and look at the dash then looked back at the cop and shrugged, pointed at the dash and said, ummm faster than that, pointing at 80. The Florida Highway patrol officer didn't laugh but I was determined to get at least a smirk out of him. He then told me I was clocked doing 88 and asked where I was headed to going so fast. I answered without pause. "I was trying to go back in time"... That got him, he finally chuckled, told me to hold on a minute, went back to his cruiser and came back with $350 ticket.

TL:DR Comedy doesn't pay when dealing with the policy, or pretty much ever in any circumstance but its pretty damn fun anyway.
2014-05-15 07:16:32 PM  
3 votes:
uproxx.files.wordpress.com
2014-05-15 08:37:00 PM  
2 votes:
I was sitting at a stoplight in Tucson, AZ in 1997. There were three lanes, two straight and one left-turn. I was in the left-hand straight lane. To my immediate left was a Tucson motor officer.

We were waiting for the light to turn green. Back then, the left turn would go green for about 30 seconds before the straights did. So, the cross-traffic goes red, the left-turn light turns green, and the officer revs his bike once, twice, and then I hear the gears shifting. (This is to explain how much time has gone by since the light turned.) At that moment a sketchy looking car BLASTS through the intersection against the light, doing at least 60 miles an hour.

I look over at the cop, he looks at me, he takes his gloved hand off the throttle and holds it out towards me. We do a fistbump, he peels out, fires up his siren and goes after the guy.
2014-05-15 08:13:49 PM  
2 votes:

Fark like a Barsoomian: I wouldn't normally admit this on the internet, but Fark doesn't have downvotes. All I can get is no votes and nasty responses, so here goes:

That movie was terrible. It was almost never funny (and violence can, sometimes, be funny). Tarrantino is absolute shiat and I hope he shoots himself for being terrible.


3edgy5me
2014-05-15 08:11:35 PM  
2 votes:

Koldbern: Whenever two truly dedicated "Pulp Fiction" fans cross paths, anything can happen. He's soooo lucky that THIS is what happened.


It was a 50-50 shot of either this, or this:
i.crackedcdn.com
2014-05-15 07:36:09 PM  
2 votes:
Nice example of driving while white
2014-05-15 07:31:09 PM  
2 votes:

drjekel_mrhyde: I have a Fossil wallet...........What do I win?


A coprolite.
2014-05-15 07:23:33 PM  
2 votes:
It's the wallet that gets me out of everything, including having a girlfriend or a steady job

yes, it's the wallet. yes it is.

www.myconfinedspace.com
2014-05-15 07:18:39 PM  
2 votes:

Koldbern: Whenever two truly dedicated "Pulp Fiction" fans cross paths, anything can happen. He's soooo lucky that THIS is what happened.


Yeah, good thing he didn't say "what?" to any of the cops questions.
2014-05-16 10:30:53 AM  
1 votes:
i.ytimg.com
2014-05-15 10:47:14 PM  
1 votes:

tonygotskilz: I haven't tried being white that might work though.


heh. Trust me. It doesn't. Got out of a speeding ticket once. Got pulled over following fast traffic coming home from vacation with the family. Saw the cop grinning in my rear view mirror reading a bumper sticker. As he walked up to the driver side I had my 5 year old daughter roll her window down and say hi to him.
It really depends on where you get pulled over.
2014-05-15 09:31:47 PM  
1 votes:

spiritplumber: 1) Be polite (it's always a good idea)
2) Be efficient (don't waste people's time, and they won't waste yours)
3) Have a plan to kiss everyone you meet (just in case they decide to be aggressive)


Pucker up, buttercup.
2014-05-15 08:06:52 PM  
1 votes:
I wouldn't normally admit this on the internet, but Fark doesn't have downvotes. All I can get is no votes and nasty responses, so here goes:

That movie was terrible. It was almost never funny (and violence can, sometimes, be funny). Tarrantino is absolute shiat and I hope he shoots himself for being terrible.
2014-05-15 07:50:26 PM  
1 votes:

ein125: Nice example of driving while white


Bonus white points for having a HAM radio, HAM license, a gun, a gun safe and a CCW permit. Oh, and a dash camera.
2014-05-15 07:41:42 PM  
1 votes:
Last time I got pulled over the cop told me I was going 50 in a 35 zone, and I was so surprised I exclaimed "what!?" since I thought It was more like 42 or so.  He got real mad real fast and started yelling stuff like "your telling me I don't know how to do my job?"  I grovelled and apologized 5 or 6 times and then he let me go, since he was on his way to get some lunch.
2014-05-15 07:17:56 PM  
1 votes:
I have a Fossil wallet...........What do I win?
2014-05-15 07:12:02 PM  
1 votes:
It would have been cooler if he pulled some of that sovereign citizen BS.
2014-05-15 07:09:55 PM  
1 votes:
Whenever two truly dedicated "Pulp Fiction" fans cross paths, anything can happen. He's soooo lucky that THIS is what happened.
2014-05-15 07:08:51 PM  
1 votes:
I had that wallet. Eventually the word "bad" wore off. I was just a motherfarker after that.

/true story
 
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