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(USA Today) NewsFlash Aaron Hernandez indicted on two counts of murder, which will have to wait until he finishes his first trial for murder. Judge says that if he could manage to walk from the courtroom back to his cell without murdering anybody, that would be swell   ( usatoday.com) divider line
    More: NewsFlash, Aaron Hernandez, murders, courtroom, North Attleborough, South End, Bobby Abreu  
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8148 clicks; posted to Sports » on 15 May 2014 at 1:09 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»


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Voting Results (Funniest)
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

2014-05-15 01:13:31 PM  
12 votes:
"Hey! Try not to suck murder any dicks on the way through the parking lot!"

img.fark.net
2014-05-15 01:15:43 PM  
10 votes:
i.imgur.com
2014-05-15 02:21:26 PM  
6 votes:

weddingsinger: Empty H: Not really. He looks like every other clean shaven adult that has poor taste in tattoos.

LOL.  Everybody knows people with tatoos are bad people who would murder you and everyone you ever cared about, given half a chance.  ALL of them.

QueenMamaBee: Do his finger tats spell out PIEW?

PIEW!  PIEW!  PIEW!

Seems very appropriate now, doesn't it?


img.fark.net
2014-05-15 02:02:42 PM  
6 votes:

jayphat: JohnBigBootay: Danger Mouse: stratagos: Wait, I dont know if I should care about this.

Is he an important player for a team I root for? If so, he was railroaded.

If not, he's obviously a thug who needs to go away for life

I'm a Patriot fan, and I don't think anyone in NE believe he is being  rail roaded.  This guy is a nut case.  And a stupid one at that.

He was a good player though. That's what kills me about the whole OJ thing. Did he murder his wife and that dude? Sure he did. But people forget how awesome a running back he was and now he never even gets mentioned.

Pete Rose wants a word with you.


Wanna bet?
2014-05-15 01:35:30 PM  
6 votes:
But at least he didn't kiss another dude on the lips.
2014-05-15 01:21:16 PM  
6 votes:

DecemberNitro: A football player is a murderer?! MY MIND IS BLOWN

/f*ck football and everyone in it


Coach wouldn't let you play in HS huh?
2014-05-15 02:23:46 PM  
4 votes:
I can't believe the patriots didn't have those two murders on film


/notmine
2014-05-15 02:16:09 PM  
4 votes:

vudukungfu: medius: thank you for noticing

You have a lady friend?


and she has the body of a 19 year old

and a couple of others in the crawlspace
2014-05-15 01:48:51 PM  
4 votes:

medius: thank you for noticing


You have a lady friend?
2014-05-15 01:35:27 PM  
4 votes:

QueenMamaBee: Rwa2play: I understand that jurors must be impartial, but when you take a look at this guy:

[media.vcstar.com image 607x811]

doesn't he just scream guilty as sin?

Do his finger tats spell out PIEW?


I was wondering the same thing. He probably went with the "PIEW" because "PEW" isn't enough fingers and "PEW PEW" is too many.
2014-05-15 08:47:40 PM  
3 votes:

rynthetyn: themunsterfullback: Peaceboy: If people didn't like seeing Michael Sam getting kissed on the mouth by his boyfriend when he was drafted, wait'll they see how this guy's cellmate greets him.

Bit better effort then the whole TE/WR thing that got old after the first one was written and some other juvenile ones.  On a more serious related comment, isn't he in isolation because he kept randomly kicking the shiat out of other inmates?

Yep, he's quite the violent one. What other celebrity inmate has landed in isolation because they're a danger to other inmates and not the reverse?


Martha Stewart
2014-05-15 04:25:06 PM  
3 votes:
memeguy.com
2014-05-15 02:23:33 PM  
3 votes:
I bet the percentage of paralympic runners who are murderers is through the roof.
2014-05-15 01:45:26 PM  
3 votes:

weddingsinger: verybody knows people with tatoos are bad people who would murder you and everyone you ever cared about, given half a chance.  ALL of them.


shiat! my lady friend has a tattoo

but i did always suspect her bloody intentions

she said she wanted to get rid of it, but what she meant she wants to get rid of me, permanent like

permanent like ink
written in blood

/why, yes, i am quite mad. thank you for noticing
2014-05-15 01:36:39 PM  
3 votes:
"In keeping with ESPN's draft coverage as of late. They should announce every new bit of Aaron Hernandez news with a picture of him kissing his new prison boyfriend."

"WILL YOU STOP!?"
2014-05-15 01:28:53 PM  
3 votes:
I'm taking him in the first round of my fantasy draft. Clearly a lock for the season.
2014-05-15 01:27:31 PM  
3 votes:
The Raiders just claimed him off waivers
2014-05-15 01:23:01 PM  
3 votes:

DecemberNitro: A football player is a murderer?! MY MIND IS BLOWN

/f*ck football and everyone in it


Now there's a rational response to this situation.  I bet you have lots of friends.
2014-05-15 01:22:56 PM  
3 votes:
Wait, I dont know if I should care about this.

Is he an important player for a team I root for? If so, he was railroaded.

If not, he's obviously a thug who needs to go away for life
2014-05-15 01:17:59 PM  
3 votes:

Rwa2play: I understand that jurors must be impartial, but when you take a look at this guy:

doesn't he just scream guilty as sin?


Not really. He looks like every other clean shaven adult that has poor taste in tattoos.
2014-05-15 02:19:22 PM  
2 votes:

medius: vudukungfu: medius: thank you for noticing

You have a lady friend?

and she has the body of a 19 year old

and a couple of others in the crawlspace


You know how I kept mine from escaping? Raid. Use the high volume, low irritant variety. It comes in the blue can.
2014-05-15 02:09:22 PM  
2 votes:

vudukungfu: DecemberNitro: /f*ck football and everyone in it

I can get behind that.
It's farking un-American.
It's organized crime.
It's rapey.
It's stupid.
It's meaningless.
People that get excited about it are getting excited about something stupid and meaningless.
People that do that tend to get murderey.
Fark football and fark football fans
fark fantasyfootball while you are at it.
I mean, what is that, like Bronies for football?


Maybe we can adopt the European attitude.  Or perhaps the Latin American one.  On second thought, China and SE Asia are the least sport-oholic regions I can think of right now, and that assumes gambling is not a sport.
2014-05-15 01:58:47 PM  
2 votes:
am i the first one to point out the lawyers last name is Fee?
2014-05-15 01:58:35 PM  
2 votes:
Fantasy football tip: There are several lists and databases of NFL players with felony arrests and/or convictions. Use these lists when selecting your fantasy football team. One year I only selected an "all-perp" team and finished second in my league. I called my team "Mama Tried", after the Merle Haggard song with the chorus: "And I turned twenty-one in prison doing life without parole, No one could steer me right but mama tried, mama tried..."
2014-05-15 01:57:14 PM  
2 votes:

jayphat: MugzyBrown: jayphat: Per your list, there are 7 hockey players on that list. There are 34 football players. So really, go there again.

So you're an NHL fan because they're slightly better than NFL players?

That's the logic you're using?

No. I'm supporting a sport that has zero tolerance for stupid behavior off the "field" of play. That hold professional athletes to a standard that says "act like a moral human being, you're being paid like it."


But has plenty of tolerance for on the ice stupid behavior. 5 minutes in the box for beating the crap out of another athlete should be enough time to learn your lesson.
2014-05-15 01:44:35 PM  
2 votes:

upndn: Just heard the Bengals were going to sign him as a free agent till this news came through.


Now the Raiders want him?
2014-05-15 01:44:24 PM  
2 votes:

drjekel_mrhyde: He'll get away with it.


Who does he (or you)  think he is?!?!?

ethicsalarms.files.wordpress.com
2014-05-15 01:23:55 PM  
2 votes:
s2.quickmeme.com
2014-05-15 01:21:45 PM  
2 votes:
img.fark.net
2014-05-15 01:11:59 PM  
2 votes:
Once you pop you just can't stop
2014-05-15 04:57:33 PM  
1 vote:
At least he's not a thug. I'm looking at you, Richard Sherman.
2014-05-15 04:13:04 PM  
1 vote:

Rex Kramer - Danger Seeker: My friend's fantasy pool has a cash prize award when if/when one of your players is arrested, someone wins every year.


So, pick Bengals players?
2014-05-15 04:02:47 PM  
1 vote:

jaybeezey: Pro Tip for the idiots out there.

If you use a gun in a crime. Clean that gun up and throw it in the closes large body of flowing water you can find.


Or, you know, be an idiot but don't kill anyone
2014-05-15 03:44:22 PM  
1 vote:

great_tigers: JohnBigBootay: Danger Mouse: stratagos: Wait, I dont know if I should care about this.

Is he an important player for a team I root for? If so, he was railroaded.

If not, he's obviously a thug who needs to go away for life

I'm a Patriot fan, and I don't think anyone in NE believe he is being  rail roaded.  This guy is a nut case.  And a stupid one at that.

He was a good player though. That's what kills me about the whole OJ thing. Did he murder his wife and that dude? Sure he did. But people forget how awesome a running back he was and now he never even gets mentioned.

I think the whole treating your wife like a turkey being carved up on Thanksgiving would make most people forget how good he was.


But she WAS a huge biatch.
2014-05-15 03:43:16 PM  
1 vote:

JohnBigBootay: Danger Mouse: stratagos: Wait, I dont know if I should care about this.

Is he an important player for a team I root for? If so, he was railroaded.

If not, he's obviously a thug who needs to go away for life

I'm a Patriot fan, and I don't think anyone in NE believe he is being  rail roaded.  This guy is a nut case.  And a stupid one at that.

He was a good player though. That's what kills me about the whole OJ thing. Did he murder his wife and that dude? Sure he did. But people forget how awesome a running back he was and now he never even gets mentioned.


I think the whole treating your wife like a turkey being carved up on Thanksgiving would make most people forget how good he was.
2014-05-15 03:24:29 PM  
1 vote:
I'm not surprised. Not surprised on the team he played for. I mean his coach is a rule breaking thug in a hood. Wouldn't surprise me to find out he has likes skittles.
2014-05-15 03:23:51 PM  
1 vote:

Acravius: Number of players not murderers:       NHL 2532     --- NFL: 10142


they just haven't been accused yet
2014-05-15 03:21:53 PM  
1 vote:

Acravius: As to the numbers of murderers that are or have played in the NHL (7) and NFL (34). If you look at numeric populations for each group, and break it down by the current structures you'll find the following information:

Max # on an                                  NHL Team: 23 ---- NFL Team: 53
Number of                                     NHL Teams: 30  ---- NFL Teams: 32
Max # of players in a season                  NHL: 690 --- NFL: 1696

Number of roster changes                      NHL 3.68 ---- NFL: 6
Average player plays                              NHL 5.7 Yrs  NFL 3.5 Yrs
Number of years                   30 NHL teams 21 Yrs --- 32  NFL Teams: 21 Yrs

~Total players                                          NHL: 2539   ---  NFL: 10176
Murderers per sport                                NHL: 7          ---  NFL: 34
~ Players/Murderers ratio:                    NHL   1:362.7 ---  NFL: 1:299.3
~ # of M's/Player                                   NHL   0.0028  --- NFL: 0.0033
~ Percentage of player muderers         NHL   0.28%   --- NFL: 0.33%

~ Number of players not murderers:       NHL 2532     --- NFL: 10142

While high profile when it happens, Killers in the NHL and the NFL are both relatively close in relative numbers adjusted by population size.


But the number of murders per game is much lower in the NHL
2014-05-15 03:18:45 PM  
1 vote:

Acravius: As to the numbers of murderers that are or have played in the NHL (7) and NFL (34). If you look at numeric populations for each group, and break it down by the current structures you'll find the following information:

Max # on an                                  NHL Team: 23 ---- NFL Team: 53
Number of                                     NHL Teams: 30  ---- NFL Teams: 32
Max # of players in a season                  NHL: 690 --- NFL: 1696

Number of roster changes                      NHL 3.68 ---- NFL: 6
Average player plays                              NHL 5.7 Yrs  NFL 3.5 Yrs
Number of years                   30 NHL teams 21 Yrs --- 32  NFL Teams: 21 Yrs

~Total players                                          NHL: 2539   ---  NFL: 10176
Murderers per sport                                NHL: 7          ---  NFL: 34
~ Players/Murderers ratio:                    NHL   1:362.7 ---  NFL: 1:299.3
~ # of M's/Player                                   NHL   0.0028  --- NFL: 0.0033
~ Percentage of player muderers         NHL   0.28%   --- NFL: 0.33%

~ Number of players not murderers:       NHL 2532     --- NFL: 10142

While high profile when it happens, Killers in the NHL and the NFL are both relatively close in relative numbers adjusted by population size.


God damn dude!!  You don't work or what?

/good job btw
2014-05-15 03:18:41 PM  
1 vote:
My friend's fantasy pool has a cash prize award when if/when one of your players is arrested, someone wins every year.
2014-05-15 03:07:28 PM  
1 vote:
As to the numbers of murderers that are or have played in the NHL (7) and NFL (34). If you look at numeric populations for each group, and break it down by the current structures you'll find the following information:

Max # on an                                  NHL Team: 23 ---- NFL Team: 53
Number of                                     NHL Teams: 30  ---- NFL Teams: 32
Max # of players in a season                  NHL: 690 --- NFL: 1696

Number of roster changes                      NHL 3.68 ---- NFL: 6
Average player plays                              NHL 5.7 Yrs  NFL 3.5 Yrs
Number of years                   30 NHL teams 21 Yrs --- 32  NFL Teams: 21 Yrs

~Total players                                          NHL: 2539   ---  NFL: 10176
Murderers per sport                                NHL: 7          ---  NFL: 34
~ Players/Murderers ratio:                    NHL   1:362.7 ---  NFL: 1:299.3
~ # of M's/Player                                   NHL   0.0028  --- NFL: 0.0033
~ Percentage of player muderers         NHL   0.28%   --- NFL: 0.33%

~ Number of players not murderers:       NHL 2532     --- NFL: 10142

While high profile when it happens, Killers in the NHL and the NFL are both relatively close in relative numbers adjusted by population size.
2014-05-15 02:55:10 PM  
1 vote:
"Listen, there's no proof of anything except that this guy is a sensational athlete!"
2014-05-15 02:52:06 PM  
1 vote:

Rwa2play: I understand that jurors must be impartial, but when you take a look at this guy:

[media.vcstar.com image 607x811]

doesn't he just scream guilty as sin?


I hope you never serve on a jury.
2014-05-15 02:34:12 PM  
1 vote:

Rwa2play: I understand that jurors must be impartial, but when you take a look at this guy:

[media.vcstar.com image 607x811]

doesn't he just scream guilty as sin?


Please tell me that the knuckle tats that say "PIEN" is half of the word "CHAMPIEN" across both hands.
2014-05-15 02:29:47 PM  
1 vote:

MFAWG: How the fark did this guy escape notice for so long? It's not like he just woke up one morning and said ' I think I'll become a gangbanger today'

People had to notice this guy had more than casual gang ties.


It's been known and hidden by his coaches for a long time. In Florida, they made Tim Tebow his mentor to help him change his ways. Of course, watching Tebow throw the ball will make you want to murder people, especially when his followers claim he's starting material, so maybe the plan wasn't fully thought out down there.
2014-05-15 02:28:47 PM  
1 vote:

jayphat: medius: vudukungfu: medius: thank you for noticing

You have a lady friend?

and she has the body of a 19 year old

and a couple of others in the crawlspace

You know how I kept mine from escaping? Raid. Use the high volume, low irritant variety. It comes in the blue can.


Mr. Plinkett, welcome!
2014-05-15 02:20:31 PM  
1 vote:

JohnBigBootay: Danger Mouse: stratagos: Wait, I dont know if I should care about this.

Is he an important player for a team I root for? If so, he was railroaded.

If not, he's obviously a thug who needs to go away for life

I'm a Patriot fan, and I don't think anyone in NE believe he is being  rail roaded.  This guy is a nut case.  And a stupid one at that.

He was a good player though. That's what kills me about the whole OJ thing. Did he murder his wife and that dude? Sure he did. But people forget how awesome a running back he was and now he never even gets mentioned.


And can't forget his stellar acting! *cough cough*
2014-05-15 02:14:53 PM  
1 vote:

HaywoodJablonski: Latinwolf: jayphat: MugzyBrown: jayphat: Per your list, there are 7 hockey players on that list. There are 34 football players. So really, go there again.

So you're an NHL fan because they're slightly better than NFL players?

That's the logic you're using?

No. I'm supporting a sport that has zero tolerance for stupid behavior off the "field" of play. That hold professional athletes to a standard that says "act like a moral human being, you're being paid like it."

7 isn't 0.

Jayphat loves white people. There, I simplified it for everyone.


Yes, clearly that's my problem.
/sarcasm
2014-05-15 02:13:01 PM  
1 vote:
How did he even have time for football with all this murdering going on?  They should just call him a murderer that plays football.
2014-05-15 02:09:19 PM  
1 vote:

algrant33: "Hey! Try not to suck murder any dicks on the way through the parking lot!"

[img.fark.net image 259x194]


immediately what I thought of.
2014-05-15 02:09:01 PM  
1 vote:

Crocoduck: Well, on the positive side, dude was keeping it real.


when keeping it real goes wrong
2014-05-15 02:03:40 PM  
1 vote:

lantawa: Creepy and very large and dangerous Hispanic man is creepy......


Like a guy with the initials G.Z.
2014-05-15 02:02:49 PM  
1 vote:
Well, on the positive side, dude was keeping it real.
2014-05-15 01:57:40 PM  
1 vote:
Thanks, Belichick!
2014-05-15 01:52:44 PM  
1 vote:

jayphat: Per your list, there are 7 hockey players on that list. There are 34 football players. So really, go there again.


So you're an NHL fan because they're slightly better than NFL players?

That's the logic you're using?
2014-05-15 01:49:50 PM  
1 vote:

MugzyBrown: jayphat: Because in any given week, I don't wake up to stuff like this.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_professional_sportspeople_convi ct ed_of_crimes#Ice_hockey

Then you have stuff like:  http://sports.yahoo.com/nhl/blog/puck_daddy/post/Kane-arrested-after- a llegedly-assaulting-robbin?urn=nhl,181695

http://abcnews.go.com/Sports/story?id=100318

http://www.nhl.com/ice/news.htm?id=692733


Per your list, there are 7 hockey players on that list. There are 34 football players. So really, go there again.
2014-05-15 01:47:15 PM  
1 vote:
Look at his cell phone, is Ray Lewis on speed dial?
2014-05-15 01:42:42 PM  
1 vote:

Empty H: Not really. He looks like every other clean shaven adult that has poor taste in tattoos.


LOL.  Everybody knows people with tatoos are bad people who would murder you and everyone you ever cared about, given half a chance.  ALL of them.

QueenMamaBee: Do his finger tats spell out PIEW?


PIEW!  PIEW!  PIEW!

Seems very appropriate now, doesn't it?
2014-05-15 01:40:09 PM  
1 vote:
if you ain't a gator, you gator bait

/hator
2014-05-15 01:38:20 PM  
1 vote:

Igor Jakovsky: Oh yeah, the guy he allegedly shot in the face down in Florida got shot again outside a club.


People not to go clubbing with....
2014-05-15 01:33:28 PM  
1 vote:

jaybeezey: Pro Tip for the idiots out there.

If you use a gun in a crime. Clean that gun up and throw it in the closes large body of flowing water you can find.


Shermheads aren't exactly known for their critical thinking skills.
2014-05-15 01:32:11 PM  
1 vote:

SlothB77: cptjeff: I'm sure they noticed, but since he was really good at football, didn't care. It's the American way.

there are probably a lot of football players with gang ties.  DeSean Jackson.  Marvin Harrison is running around shooting people in Philadelphia.  and let's not forget former Boston Celtic Paul Pierce.


I hear Tebow rolls dirty....
2014-05-15 01:29:33 PM  
1 vote:

algrant33: "Hey! Try not to suck murder any dicks on the way through the parking lot!"

[img.fark.net image 259x194]


I just saw that the thread had 37 comments and I came to say ^this^.
2014-05-15 01:22:02 PM  
1 vote:

DecemberNitro: A football player is a murderer?! MY MIND IS BLOWN

/f*ck football and everyone in it


fark you too, buddy!
2014-05-15 01:22:02 PM  
1 vote:

DecemberNitro: A football player is a murderer?! MY MIND IS BLOWN

/f*ck football and everyone in it


Lots of people play football. Statistically speaking, not very many of them are murderers.
2014-05-15 01:20:32 PM  
1 vote:
Creepy and very large and dangerous Hispanic man is creepy......
2014-05-15 01:17:14 PM  
1 vote:
The Patriot way.
2014-05-15 01:15:28 PM  
1 vote:
I understand that jurors must be impartial, but when you take a look at this guy:

media.vcstar.com

doesn't he just scream guilty as sin?
2014-05-15 01:14:41 PM  
1 vote:
so will this trial be after he is convicted of the other murder charge?  "Sure, he was convicted of that other murder, but he totally didn't do these two."
 
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