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(Riverfront Times)   A Missouri reporter picked up a pile of human poop on TV with her bare hands   ( blogs.riverfronttimes.com) divider line
    More: Fail, KSDK, human faeces, ammunition dump  
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13315 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2014 at 10:11 PM (3 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-14 10:34:47 PM  

fusillade762: [1basil1.files.wordpress.com image 339x425]


Pink Flamingos - one of my all time favorites -  filmed in Baltimore no less.  I recall seeing this at the Biograph in Georgetown and people were walking out screaming, "you people are sick to sit here and watch this!"  What were they expecting, Bambi?
 
2014-05-14 10:36:16 PM  

Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Possum shiat is absolutely vile smelling.


Heh... I had a pet possum once

/and you speak the truth
//yikes
 
2014-05-14 10:37:29 PM  
Knows a thing or two about poop.

images3.wikia.nocookie.net

/FROM OUTTA NOWHERE!
 
2014-05-14 10:37:52 PM  

dr_blasto: timujin: dr_blasto: some_beer_drinker: timujin: Bet it still doesn't smell as bad as chicken shiat, I don't think I've ever smelled anything worse.

i can make some pretty epic poo after a night of heavy drinking. especially tequila

Aye that. Ugh. I've had some superfund-quality toxic waste dumps myself after the tequila.

I'm telling you both, I don't care if you drank an entire case of Jose 1800, nothing is as bad as chicken poop.  And it's not bad enough that you have to smell it when you drive by the coops, every spring they take truckloads of the stuff and spread it on every farm for miles.  Just horrible.  HORRIBLE.

Ok, so, is it worse than a pig farm?

Because pig farms are worse than my tequila poo. But only by a hair.


I cannot speak to this, as I have had the fortune in life to never be exposed to a pig farm.  I have heard stories, stories from men who were once strong.  I'm sure among our brethren there are those who have been exposed to both, but I would not ask them to recall such traumatic events.
 
2014-05-14 10:39:02 PM  

wellreadneck: As we speak, they're spraying liquefied pig shiat on the fields surrounding my house, so I'm really getting a kick...


I was downwind from the sh*t sprayers once. You think its a turn of phrase, but the smell is literally eye-watering. Second worse thing I have ever smelled after an actual open grave.
 
2014-05-14 10:42:13 PM  

MaudlinMutantMollusk: There are worse things you could pick up

/my ex, for example


Badumptshhh.jpg
 
2014-05-14 10:43:54 PM  

scottydoesntknow: Yep. That's sh*t.


Good thing we didn't step in it.
 
2014-05-14 10:45:00 PM  

Lsherm: Doctor Funkenstein: timujin: Bet it still doesn't smell as bad as chicken shiat, I don't think I've ever smelled anything worse.

And this. It takes your breath away. Not in a latently gay Top Gun way, either. Chicken shiat is horrifying.

Has anyone ever figured out why?  I mean, even for bird poop it's horrifying.


Little know factoid:  Farmers feed their chickens tequila and refried beans.
 
2014-05-14 10:46:48 PM  
Well it's sterile, so she probably likes the taste.
 
2014-05-14 10:47:39 PM  
Did she think it was going to smell good?
She's got a great future in German scheisse porn.
 
2014-05-14 10:47:48 PM  

poorjon: wellreadneck: As we speak, they're spraying liquefied pig shiat on the fields surrounding my house, so I'm really getting a kick...

I was downwind from the sh*t sprayers once. You think its a turn of phrase, but the smell is literally eye-watering. Second worse thing I have ever smelled after an actual open grave.


I'm certain they must occasionally throw a dead pig in in the vat because, now and then, the smell of pig shiat in a field is overpowered by the smell of rotten meat.
 
2014-05-14 10:47:55 PM  

Jeng: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Possum shiat is absolutely vile smelling.

Possums in general are absolutely vile.

Hell their self defense mechanism is that they are so vile, that when they are dead, nothing wants to eat them, so they can just fake being dead to avoid being hurt.


I've seen turkey vultures working them over on the road I ride to work. I wonder what the turkey vulture poop smells like?
 
2014-05-14 10:49:02 PM  

timujin: dr_blasto: timujin: dr_blasto: some_beer_drinker: timujin: Bet it still doesn't smell as bad as chicken shiat, I don't think I've ever smelled anything worse.

i can make some pretty epic poo after a night of heavy drinking. especially tequila

Aye that. Ugh. I've had some superfund-quality toxic waste dumps myself after the tequila.

I'm telling you both, I don't care if you drank an entire case of Jose 1800, nothing is as bad as chicken poop.  And it's not bad enough that you have to smell it when you drive by the coops, every spring they take truckloads of the stuff and spread it on every farm for miles.  Just horrible.  HORRIBLE.

Ok, so, is it worse than a pig farm?

Because pig farms are worse than my tequila poo. But only by a hair.

I cannot speak to this, as I have had the fortune in life to never be exposed to a pig farm.  I have heard stories, stories from men who were once strong.  I'm sure among our brethren there are those who have been exposed to both, but I would not ask them to recall such traumatic events.


I've driven past chicken farms, paper mills, and pig farms, and the intensity of badness follows that order. Pigs smell bad, but they are not the worst.
 
2014-05-14 10:49:24 PM  

neongoats: You ever have a poop so hard and dry that you have to reach a dry thumb up there and pry it loose like overly dry modeling clay? Traumatic.


i1164.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-14 10:51:46 PM  

TwowheelinTim: Jeng: Sudo_Make_Me_A_Sandwich: Possum shiat is absolutely vile smelling.

Possums in general are absolutely vile.

Hell their self defense mechanism is that they are so vile, that when they are dead, nothing wants to eat them, so they can just fake being dead to avoid being hurt.

I've seen turkey vultures working them over on the road I ride to work. I wonder what the turkey vulture poop smells like?


Food, glorious food.
 
2014-05-14 10:52:42 PM  

433: djkutch: neongoats: You ever have a poop so hard and dry that you have to reach a dry thumb up there and pry it loose like overly dry modeling clay? Traumatic.

Pro life tip: Index finger instead of thumb. You have to position the finger forward of the obstruction and coax it down. Like wiping back to front.

A thumb is just going to stab blindly and muck it up.

Or give a push on your skin, around the obstruction, as if popping a really big zit.


Productive dialogue. I like it.
 
2014-05-14 10:53:18 PM  

solar8554: It's bad enough when the TP rips and I get some on my finger


I know.....tastes horrible.
 
2014-05-14 10:53:56 PM  
I always wondered what happened to butthole tattoo girl...

www.inquisitr.com
 
2014-05-14 10:54:47 PM  
Having your gallbladder removed can make pooping quite an adventure at times
 
2014-05-14 10:55:28 PM  

433: djkutch: neongoats: You ever have a poop so hard and dry that you have to reach a dry thumb up there and pry it loose like overly dry modeling clay? Traumatic.

Pro life tip: Index finger instead of thumb. You have to position the finger forward of the obstruction and coax it down. Like wiping back to front.

A thumb is just going to stab blindly and muck it up.

Or give a push on your skin, around the obstruction, as if popping a really big zit.


I really hate to pull rank here fellas, but
Having been a 'Senior Certified Nursing Assistant' at a geriatrics hospital I have had to pull such out of other people. You've just gotta get behind it and hock it out.

Another fun way to spend the afternoon is to carefully clip and cut the encrusted mat out of a senile bears butt crack.
Good times
 
2014-05-14 10:56:35 PM  
I'm pinching a loaf right now, so I'm really getting a kick...
 
2014-05-14 10:57:03 PM  
This isn't really uncommon, once the waste is processed its just like getting a bag of Black Kow from Lowe's...something a lot of people probably have had handfuls of in their own right.  You can get loads of it (usually for free) from a lot of county waste treatment plants, you just can't use it on crops that are for human consumption.
 
2014-05-14 10:59:34 PM  

timujin: dr_blasto: some_beer_drinker: timujin: Bet it still doesn't smell as bad as chicken shiat, I don't think I've ever smelled anything worse.

i can make some pretty epic poo after a night of heavy drinking. especially tequila

Aye that. Ugh. I've had some superfund-quality toxic waste dumps myself after the tequila.

I'm telling you both, I don't care if you drank an entire case of Jose 1800, nothing is as bad as chicken poop.  And it's not bad enough that you have to smell it when you drive by the coops, every spring they take truckloads of the stuff and spread it on every farm for miles.  Just horrible.  HORRIBLE.


Think on this next time.

Odor is detected by physical molecules.  Bits of sulfur, carbon, hydrogen all chained together in a specific sequence that just happen to trigger certain nerve receptors in your nose. Your brain is wired to know this smell is awful, bad, something to avoid at pretty much all costs.

The point is this, when you smell really stinky shiat, it means that shiat is in your nose, in your nasal cavities, in your lungs... and in your blood...
 
2014-05-14 11:10:24 PM  

tinyarena: 433: djkutch: neongoats: You ever have a poop so hard and dry that you have to reach a dry thumb up there and pry it loose like overly dry modeling clay? Traumatic.

Pro life tip: Index finger instead of thumb. You have to position the finger forward of the obstruction and coax it down. Like wiping back to front.

A thumb is just going to stab blindly and muck it up.

Or give a push on your skin, around the obstruction, as if popping a really big zit.

I really hate to pull rank here fellas, but
Having been a 'Senior Certified Nursing Assistant' at a geriatrics hospital I have had to pull such out of other people. You've just gotta get behind it and hock it out.

Another fun way to spend the afternoon is to carefully clip and cut the encrusted mat out of a senile bears butt crack.
Good times


Good grief, you are a saint. I draw the line at ass hair mats......
 
ecl [TotalFark] [BareFark]
2014-05-14 11:11:06 PM  
Joe Rogan approves.
 
2014-05-14 11:12:14 PM  
www.iconsoffright.com

Shait wipes off.
 
2014-05-14 11:12:50 PM  
This autoplay video really stinks.
 
2014-05-14 11:15:56 PM  
The worst thing I've ever smelled is dead turtle. Insta-retch.
 
2014-05-14 11:16:28 PM  
That's going to end up being the next "Cinnamon challenge" that the internet will be innundated with.

Mark my words.
 
2014-05-14 11:16:31 PM  

crypticsatellite: Poop thread?

[subatomicsatan.com image 365x360]


came for it...leave happy...and smelly.
 
2014-05-14 11:18:32 PM  
Worst. Thread. Ever.

Goddamn.
 
2014-05-14 11:20:05 PM  
i.imgur.com

J-Law's butt groom.
 
2014-05-14 11:20:24 PM  

neongoats: You ever have a poop so hard and dry that you have to reach a dry thumb up there and pry it loose like overly dry modeling clay? Traumatic.


no
next question?
 
2014-05-14 11:22:10 PM  
If you have a Maine Coon (cat, that is), you know they add a whole new level of odoriferousness to the normal poop scooping activity.  Extra "sauce" as it were.  Not sure how it ranks on the stink-o-meter relative to bird/pig shiat, but it beats my best "post-drinking-mud" effort by a country mile.  Even after drinking Schaffer's.

Tangentially related, is there a odor scale useful in these matters to rank stinks?  Kinda like the Scoville scale for hotness?
 
2014-05-14 11:31:15 PM  
My dogs killed a good sized beaver behind the house one day.  I figured I'd just get a shovel and throw it down into the woods, and let it decompose away from the house.  About 3-4 days later I bring the dogs in and my girlfriend and I leave to go somewhere.
Upon entering the house, my gf immediately does a 180 and goes back outside.  I go in because it seems someone died in the house, and not recently.
Apparently one of my dogs had decided to go eat this corpse that had been festering in the summer sun for several days, and then vomit it all over my study floor.
It looked like...saag (and I love saag) but with a couple cups of wriggling maggots mixed in instead of rice.
In the most interior room of my house.
I was literally throwing up onto what I was cleaning, and incorporating my vomit into what I was cleaning up.
Pretty sure that was the worst smell I've ever encountered.  Of course, it was at arms' length.
 
2014-05-14 11:34:08 PM  
24.media.tumblr.com
/
 
2014-05-14 11:36:17 PM  
Maybe it's just me, but I've gotten more poop on my hands since I turned 30 (32 now) than in all the years before that combined. Toilet paper ripping, poop ending up smeared all along my buttcheek and accidentally rubbing it when I'm wiping, me going to itch my butthole and there being a little poop on the outside.

I have no idea what's going on, but nary a day goes by without me getting some rectal fudge in my hands/arms.
 
2014-05-14 11:38:02 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Maybe it's just me, but I've gotten more poop on my hands since I turned 30 (32 now) than in all the years before that combined. Toilet paper ripping, poop ending up smeared all along my buttcheek and accidentally rubbing it when I'm wiping, me going to itch my butthole and there being a little poop on the outside.

I have no idea what's going on, but nary a day goes by without me getting some rectal fudge in my hands/arms.


You know I have you favorited as this:

 I whacked off to the girl from that Dinosaurs show. More than once, I mean

And now I laugh even more.

This Bud's for you!
 
2014-05-14 11:39:58 PM  

Poot beer: solar8554: It's bad enough when the TP rips and I get some on my finger

I know.....tastes horrible.


That's what she said
 
2014-05-14 11:40:46 PM  
This thread is the shiat.
 
2014-05-14 11:46:12 PM  
Amazing Rolling Stone article:
A lot of pig shiat is one thing; a lagoon of highly toxic pig shiat is another
"The lagoons themselves are so viscous and venomous that if someone falls in it is foolish to try to save him. A few years ago, a truck driver in Oklahoma was transferring pig shiat to a lagoon when he and his truck went over the side. It took almost three weeks to recover his body. In 1992, when a worker making repairs to a lagoon in Minnesota began to choke to death on the fumes, another worker dived in after him, and they died the same death. In another instance, a worker who was repairing a lagoon in Michigan was overcome by the fumes and fell in. His fifteen-year-old nephew dived in to save him but was overcome, the worker's cousin went in to save the teenager but was overcome, the worker's older brother dived in to save them but was overcome, and then the worker's father dived in. They all died in pig shiat."
Read more:  http://www.rollingstone.com/culture/news/boss-hog-the-dark-side-of-am e ricas-top-pork-producer-20061214#ixzz31kglqVye 
/as for human waste, it is my understanding that it is not actually a very good fertilizer.  I'm sure this dude is just getting it very cheaply.
 
2014-05-14 11:46:42 PM  

rebelyell2006: timujin: dr_blasto: timujin: dr_blasto: some_beer_drinker: timujin: Bet it still doesn't smell as bad as chicken shiat, I don't think I've ever smelled anything worse.

i can make some pretty epic poo after a night of heavy drinking. especially tequila

Aye that. Ugh. I've had some superfund-quality toxic waste dumps myself after the tequila.

I'm telling you both, I don't care if you drank an entire case of Jose 1800, nothing is as bad as chicken poop.  And it's not bad enough that you have to smell it when you drive by the coops, every spring they take truckloads of the stuff and spread it on every farm for miles.  Just horrible.  HORRIBLE.

Ok, so, is it worse than a pig farm?

Because pig farms are worse than my tequila poo. But only by a hair.

I cannot speak to this, as I have had the fortune in life to never be exposed to a pig farm.  I have heard stories, stories from men who were once strong.  I'm sure among our brethren there are those who have been exposed to both, but I would not ask them to recall such traumatic events.

I've driven past chicken farms, paper mills, and pig farms, and the intensity of badness follows that order. Pigs smell bad, but they are not the worst.


Ugh paper mills, yes! I drove past the one in Franklin, VA every time I drove home to visit my parents from college. I was miles and miles away from it on 58, but it still stunk up the entire town. Like a giant fart factory.
 
2014-05-14 11:49:37 PM  

Priapetic: If you have a Maine Coon (cat, that is), you know they add a whole new level of odoriferousness to the normal poop scooping activity.  Extra "sauce" as it were.  Not sure how it ranks on the stink-o-meter relative to bird/pig shiat, but it beats my best "post-drinking-mud" effort by a country mile.


It's the price they pay for being an all-around badass.
 
2014-05-14 11:50:25 PM  

The Larch: neongoats: You ever have a poop so hard and dry that you have to reach a dry thumb up there and pry it loose like overly dry modeling clay? Traumatic.

Nope. That's just you.


Yep.

That's what the poo tongs hanging in the toothbrush holder are for.
 
2014-05-14 11:51:19 PM  

timujin: Bet it still doesn't smell as bad as chicken shiat, I don't think I've ever smelled anything worse.


I've been through one of those massive chicken warehouses that PETA likes to trot out everytime McNuggets hit the news for some reason. And i can confidently say i've got them beat the morning after enjoying 2lbs of bleeding rare Porterhouse marinated overnight in Italian salad dressing. I've made my own eyes water.
 
2014-05-14 11:52:15 PM  

neongoats: You ever have a poop so hard and dry that you have to reach a dry thumb up there and pry it loose like overly dry modeling clay? Traumatic.


Well, I'm done. You can have the internet.
 
2014-05-14 11:53:29 PM  

timujin: Bet it still doesn't smell as bad as chicken shiat, I don't think I've ever smelled anything worse.


There was a chicken farm off I95 that stunk so bad that when the wind was right the DOT put some if those digital warning signs out for the stench.
 
2014-05-14 11:55:52 PM  

Dow Jones and the Temple of Doom: Maybe it's just me, but I've gotten more poop on my hands since I turned 30 (32 now) than in all the years before that combined. Toilet paper ripping, poop ending up smeared all along my buttcheek and accidentally rubbing it when I'm wiping, me going to itch my butthole and there being a little poop on the outside.

I have no idea what's going on, but nary a day goes by without me getting some rectal fudge in my hands/arms.


It gets worse over time. 42 now and after decades of piles, my sphincter looks like a mangy dog that has been in a decompression accident.

It gets a few token wipes just enough so I can waddle over to the shower, put on a surgical glove and spend 5 minutes scrubbing that farker down under a jet stream.

A good day isn't a streak free day anymore, it's one where 5 inches of large intestines doesn't pop out to say "Hi, thanks for the corn!".
 
2014-05-14 11:55:56 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-14 11:56:54 PM  

Theory Of Null: You ever been in a sewer you know this shiat is top of the line stink.


www.hdwallpaper4all.com

Takes offense at that comment!

Eriond:

Ugh paper mills, yes! I drove past the one in Franklin, VA every time I drove home to visit my parents from college. I was miles and miles away from it on 58, but it still stunk up the entire town. Like a giant fart factory.

I remember back in the late 90's when Hampton's crabbing business was booming. OMG, it took me forever to find out what that smell was in the summertime, and apparently it was the crabbing factory a couple of miles down the road. Basically it smells like a cross between rotten eggs and stagnant seafood.
 
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