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(Anchorage Daily News)   Move to Alaska and experience the breathtaking views, the abundant seafood, the bears eating your Chihuahua in your backyard   (adn.com) divider line 91
    More: Scary, chihuahua, Brad Langdorf, seafood, eating  
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4186 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2014 at 11:25 PM (10 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



91 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-14 08:40:31 PM
I didn't realize the Alaskan bear was a fan of Mexican food.
 
2014-05-14 08:46:34 PM
I don't know what the fox says...but the bear says "yo quiero taco bell
 
2014-05-14 08:51:37 PM
Similar thing here is California, only its coyotes who do it.  They can jump a pretty tall fence, so your dog isn't safe just because it is fenced in.
 
2014-05-14 09:27:14 PM
In Alaska, Chihuahuas are not dogs, they are snacks for the wildlife.   The problem is, they think they're dogs and act like they're dogs, but they aren't.  They're prey to just about everything.

You have to be some kind of stupid to have a Chihuahua in Alaska.
 
2014-05-14 09:46:30 PM
You bring a snack to the party, it's gon' get et.

Your dog has to at least bigger than a bread box before it's anything but food in a forest environment.
 
2014-05-14 10:00:04 PM

Ambivalence: They're prey to just about everything.


I dunno how many times I heard  yet another story about Chihuahua vs. Eagle.
 
2014-05-14 10:04:53 PM

Ambivalence: In Alaska, Chihuahuas are not dogs, they are snacks for the wildlife.   The problem is, they think they're dogs and act like they're dogs, but they aren't.  They're prey to just about everything.

You have to be some kind of stupid to have a Chihuahua in Alaska.


Lenny_da_Hog: Ambivalence: They're prey to just about everything.

I dunno how many times I heard  yet another story about Chihuahua vs. Eagle.


These. I understand the attachment the people had to their pets and can offer sympathy, but c'mon people. You live there because of the wild beauty and nature so please take a minute or two to understand what that means.
 
2014-05-14 10:12:32 PM
Putin sent them
 
2014-05-14 10:20:21 PM
Then on Tuesday, "I woke up and put my war paint on," she said.

She bought a shotgun, found the revolver that had been packed away, and moved the chickens into a dry cabin on the property.


This article reads like feminine "Grizzly" fanfic.
 
2014-05-14 10:29:43 PM

Ambivalence: In Alaska, Chihuahuas are not dogs, they are snacks for the wildlife.   The problem is, they think they're dogs and act like they're dogs, but they aren't.  They're prey to just about everything.

You have to be some kind of stupid to have a Chihuahua  in Alaska.


That's more like it.
 
2014-05-14 10:41:03 PM
So if I move to Alaska, I'll get a free chihuahua?
 
2014-05-14 10:59:38 PM
One mammals prized companion is another mammals yummy snack.
 
2014-05-14 11:17:31 PM
Yo quiero una pistola
 
2014-05-14 11:23:01 PM

texdent: So if I move to Alaska, I'll get a free chihuahua?


No, you have to put $5 in the bear food dispenser first.
 
2014-05-14 11:30:14 PM
Circle of liiiife
 
2014-05-14 11:32:12 PM
Mooney, the Fish and Game biologist, said bear attacks on yippy, snack-sized canines don't occur often in Sitka because most people know it's only a matter of time before something eats those walking mockeries of an actual dog and so opt for a dog more able to defend itself than a McDonalds happy meal in a collar.
 
2014-05-14 11:33:52 PM
appetizer
 
2014-05-14 11:34:16 PM
I think I'll call you "snack"!
 
2014-05-14 11:34:47 PM
Shotgun, huh? LOL  Going to be a nice followup article where she winds up dead.
Prolly topping that shotgun off with bird-shot, too.  Then, not even know where she puts it.... again.
 
2014-05-14 11:35:03 PM

Ambivalence: In Alaska, Chihuahuas are not dogs, they are snacks for the wildlife.   The problem is, they think they're dogs and act like they're dogs, but they aren't.  They're prey to just about everything.

You have to be some kind of stupid to have a Chihuahua in Alaska.


Bears re-eating.
 
2014-05-14 11:36:00 PM

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Similar thing here is California, only its coyotes who do it.  They can jump a pretty tall fence, so your dog isn't safe just because it is fenced in.


Even if it has somewhere to retreat to, especially if it's chained:

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 11:36:13 PM
FTFA:Myers believes Paco, who had never seen a bear, thought that the animal was a big dog. She believes Paco approached the bear and lay down, submitting to it.

Aaaand at the point in the article I completely lost my shiat. What could that bear be thinking at that point? "uhhhhm, ok? I guess I can end your suffering you poor little thing".

I'm still farking dying here! I love dogs but thats just farking funny.
 
2014-05-14 11:36:55 PM
Think that's bad don't let them get a hold of your rabbits.
 
2014-05-14 11:38:57 PM
So she buys a shotgun... that'll just piss it off.
 
2014-05-14 11:44:04 PM
Hell, any one of my rats could've eaten that thing...
 
2014-05-14 11:44:09 PM
But Stimpy's okay, right?
 
2014-05-14 11:51:28 PM
A Chihuahua once killed a grizzly bear in Yellowstone some years back.  The dog managed to choke the bear to death when he got caught in the bear's throat.
 
2014-05-14 11:51:39 PM

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Similar thing here is California, only its coyotes who do it.  They can jump a pretty tall fence, so your dog isn't safe just because it is fenced in.


Happens all the time in downtown Chicago. This was posted in the elevator of my old building.

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-14 11:51:54 PM

LoneVVolf: So she buys a shotgun... that'll just piss it off.


A shotgun can stop a bear. You just need slugs and you gotta be close.

12 gauge caaaaan do it. If you can get an 8 gauge though...
 
2014-05-14 11:53:40 PM

Ambivalence: In Alaska, Chihuahuas are not dogs, they are snacks for the wildlife.   The problem is, they think they're dogs and act like they're dogs, but they aren't.  They're prey to just about everything.

You have to be some kind of stupid to have a Chihuahua in Alaska.


Couldn't agree more. Start a free range hamster farm in Alaska. *no hamsters were harmed in this post
 
2014-05-14 11:56:18 PM

scottydoesntknow: Then on Tuesday, "I woke up and put my war paint on," she said.

She bought a shotgun, found the revolver that had been packed away, and moved the chickens into a dry cabin on the property.

This article reads like feminine "Grizzly" fanfic.


The bear was there first, lady. Respect.

CSB- I used to bartend in bear country, at Lake Alpine in NorCal. The town next to the lake is called Bear Valley...one night, I had an IRATE camper demand a cabin from me (we didn't have any available) because:
"A BEAR got into my camp and I want to know what you're going to do about it?"
I said, "Well sir, since this is BEAR Valley, there's not a whole lot I can do, except recommend you book a cabin next time and keep your food in one of the bear lockers next to your campsite." He went away mad, but at least he went away.
End CSB

/You know how to tell if you're being chased by a black bear or a brown (grizzly) bear? Climb a tree. If it's a black bear, it'll come up after you, if it's a brown bear, it'll shake you out of the tree
//Good times...
 
2014-05-14 11:59:14 PM

Prey4reign: I didn't realize the Alaskan bear was a fan of Mexican food.


Nice...

But relly who goes to a wilderness and let's their little pet out? Even a fox could make a meal of a Chihuahua.
 
2014-05-15 12:02:21 AM
I wonder if it gave the bear the runs ...
 
2014-05-15 12:03:11 AM
Is this the scenario where we approve of owning a pit bull?
 
2014-05-15 12:03:27 AM
How will it be faring when the collar hits the anus?
 
2014-05-15 12:09:46 AM

Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Similar thing here is California, only its coyotes who do it.  They can jump a pretty tall fence, so your dog isn't safe just because it is fenced in.


Ditto in Georgia. Add hawks into the mix for a dog that small.
 
2014-05-15 12:11:28 AM
This gens, "Dingoes ate my baby."
 
2014-05-15 12:14:11 AM

ArcadianRefugee: Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Similar thing here is California, only its coyotes who do it.  They can jump a pretty tall fence, so your dog isn't safe just because it is fenced in.

Even if it has somewhere to retreat to, especially if it's chained:

[img.fark.net image 595x889]


I laugh my ass off every time I see that.
 
2014-05-15 12:14:55 AM
Bears hell, in Alaska, the birds will eat your chihuahua
 
2014-05-15 12:17:44 AM
♪ It's the Circle of Life...♪
 
2014-05-15 12:19:13 AM
2.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-15 12:21:17 AM

Ambivalence: In Alaska, Chihuahuas are not dogs, they are snacks for the wildlife.   The problem is, they think they're dogs and act like they're dogs, but they aren't.  They're prey to just about everything.

You have to be some kind of stupid to have a Chihuahua in Alaska.


Bears, cougars, lynx, bobcats, eagles, owls, hawks, foxes, wolves, wolverines, coyotes. Hell, their mosquitos are big enough to carry away a chihuahua.
 
2014-05-15 12:23:56 AM

boinkingbill: A Chihuahua once killed a grizzly bear in Yellowstone some years back.  The dog managed to choke the bear to death when he got caught in the bear's throat.



t2.gstatic.com
 
2014-05-15 12:28:55 AM

LoneVVolf: So she buys a shotgun... that'll just piss it off.


You really need some firepower to stop a bear.

I like watching "Alaska State Troopers" when my TV is cooperating (f*cking HDTV, just thought I'd throw that in) and in one episode, they stopped some idiot with a concealed 9-mm (which is legal in Alaska). They asked him what he was going to do with that. "Oh, it's in case I'm attacked by a bear." The troopers just about died laughing: "What are you gonna do, tickle it to death?"

A shotgun would PROBABLY do it--but you better have solid slugs, not buckshot. Bet crazy Chihuahua lady is using rock salt...
 
2014-05-15 12:31:37 AM
In North Korea it's called dinner
 
2014-05-15 12:35:39 AM

solar8554: In North Korea it's called dinner


In Alaska, it is an appetizer.
 
2014-05-15 12:36:01 AM
doggy = hors d'oevre
 
2014-05-15 12:39:18 AM
The "dog" ran up to the bear and laid down. What the hell was the bear supposed to do? Tickle it's belly?
 
2014-05-15 12:39:26 AM
l.wigflip.com
 
2014-05-15 12:42:35 AM
www.seniorark.com
 
2014-05-15 12:44:18 AM

AbiNormal: The "dog" ran up to the bear and laid down. What the hell was the bear supposed to do? Tickle it's belly?


I'm sure there was at least one very, mother nature like tickle...before ..well
 
2014-05-15 12:44:43 AM
Finally an Alaskan thread without her.
 
2014-05-15 12:44:53 AM
I guess the good news is that these people don't have children.
 
2014-05-15 12:53:11 AM
I hate those yappy dogs. So much the better.
 
2014-05-15 12:56:57 AM
 
2014-05-15 01:10:25 AM

StanTheMan: That's what bulldogs are for.



news.nationalgeographic.com
and little orange cats
 
2014-05-15 01:11:58 AM
Yeah let's go move somewhere it's cold as fark and summer lasts a week.

Awesome idea.
 
2014-05-15 01:16:26 AM

whidbey: Yeah let's go move somewhere it's cold as fark and summer lasts a week.

Awesome idea.


Depends on what part of Alaska you are in. Juneau is about the same latitude as Stockholm.
 
2014-05-15 01:18:16 AM

Harry_Seldon: whidbey: Yeah let's go move somewhere it's cold as fark and summer lasts a week.

Awesome idea.

Depends on what part of Alaska you are in. Juneau is about the same latitude as Stockholm.


Um, no. I get enough cloudy days down here at latitude 48. I don't need colder temperatures on top of that.
 
2014-05-15 01:25:27 AM

orclover: FTFA:Myers believes Paco, who had never seen a bear, thought that the animal was a big dog. She believes Paco approached the bear and lay down, submitting to it.

Aaaand at the point in the article I completely lost my shiat. What could that bear be thinking at that point? "uhhhhm, ok? I guess I can end your suffering you poor little thing".

I'm still farking dying here! I love dogs but thats just farking funny.


A chihuahua submitting? That just made this whole story unbelievable.
 
2014-05-15 01:27:18 AM

whidbey: Harry_Seldon: whidbey: Yeah let's go move somewhere it's cold as fark and summer lasts a week.

Awesome idea.

Depends on what part of Alaska you are in. Juneau is about the same latitude as Stockholm.


Um, no. I get enough cloudy days down here at latitude 48. I don't need colder temperatures on top of that.


It's not for everyone.

Working in Duluth, Minnesota one beautiful summer day (about 75 degrees and breezy) the local construction guys were howling about the excessive heat.

When I gave them some shiat over their complaints, they pointed out that I was used to it, given where I was from.

/ from Minneapolis
 
2014-05-15 01:31:14 AM

TomD9938: from Minneapolis


Two words:

Mosquitoes and humidity

/just sayin'
 
2014-05-15 01:38:11 AM

Harry_Seldon: whidbey: Yeah let's go move somewhere it's cold as fark and summer lasts a week.

Awesome idea.

Depends on what part of Alaska you are in. Juneau is about the same latitude as Stockholm.


I think Alaska could be fun, and it would be a nice change of pace from FL, but from what I understand everything is extra-Farking-expensive up there.
 
2014-05-15 01:42:52 AM

TuteTibiImperes: Harry_Seldon: whidbey: Yeah let's go move somewhere it's cold as fark and summer lasts a week.

Awesome idea.

Depends on what part of Alaska you are in. Juneau is about the same latitude as Stockholm.

I think Alaska could be fun, and it would be a nice change of pace from FL, but from what I understand everything is extra-Farking-expensive up there.


Everything is expensive everywhere outside of Flyover Country. Deal with it.
 
2014-05-15 01:43:01 AM

whidbey: TomD9938: from Minneapolis

Two words:

Mosquitoes and humidity

/just sayin'


I'm well poised for a big move to Houston as I see it.

/ not sure if they have mosquitoes
 
2014-05-15 01:45:40 AM
Poor thing. Probably'll choke on a bone.

/No, not that kinda bone.......
 
2014-05-15 01:45:44 AM

TomD9938: whidbey: TomD9938: from Minneapolis

Two words:

Mosquitoes and humidity

/just sayin'

I'm well poised for a big move to Houston as I see it.

/ not sure if they have mosquitoes


Seeing as how Houston is an inland swamp 25 miles from the Gulf, I would bet they do.

Just curious, why the hell there?
 
2014-05-15 01:52:31 AM

Ambivalence: In Alaska, Chihuahuas are not dogs, they are snacks for the wildlife.   The problem is, they think they're dogs and act like they're dogs, but they aren't.  They're prey to just about everything.

You have to be some kind of stupid to have a Chihuahua in Alaska.


Including the golden eagles
 
2014-05-15 01:52:46 AM

JoieD'Zen: Ambivalence: In Alaska, Chihuahuas are not dogs, they are snacks for the wildlife.   The problem is, they think they're dogs and act like they're dogs, but they aren't.  They're prey to just about everything.

You have to be some kind of stupid to have a Chihuahua in Alaska.

Lenny_da_Hog: Ambivalence: They're prey to just about everything.

I dunno how many times I heard  yet another story about Chihuahua vs. Eagle.

These. I understand the attachment the people had to their pets and can offer sympathy, but c'mon people. You live there because of the wild beauty and nature so please take a minute or two to understand what that means.


This would be why my cats, despite their best efforts and begging, don't get to go out. Not only would they devastate the local wildlife, the owls, foxes, coyotes, hawks, etc, would probably do them in within weeks.
 
2014-05-15 01:56:00 AM

whidbey: TomD9938: whidbey: TomD9938: from Minneapolis

Two words:

Mosquitoes and humidity

/just sayin'

I'm well poised for a big move to Houston as I see it.

/ not sure if they have mosquitoes

Seeing as how Houston is an inland swamp 25 miles from the Gulf, I would bet they do.


Just curious, why the hell there?

I work in retail and restaurant construction and they apparently love their malls and eating establishments in Houston (plus golf year-round).

Los Angeles is my first choice to run out my career, if it comes to that, but the competition is more formidable there.

If things don't dry up in the Twin Cities, it's probably here where I'll retire.
 
2014-05-15 01:56:29 AM
Insertthreadjack

Hey whidbey...
I know we've had our disagreements, and if I ever pissed you off I sincerely apologize, although I do think a lot of your anger is misdirected

/but I was just listening to some of your music...
//godDAMN, son... you are frikkin GOOD

/endthreadjack
 
2014-05-15 01:57:41 AM

MaudlinMutantMollusk: I know we've had our disagreements, and if I ever pissed you off I sincerely apologize, although I do think a lot of your anger is misdirected


No way man. We're good. Thanks for the encourage. :)
 
2014-05-15 02:01:30 AM
Bear troubles?  Get a cat.

i257.photobucket.com
 
2014-05-15 02:23:43 AM

AbiNormal: [www.seniorark.com image 618x468]


LOL! That was great! Reminds me of the old joke:

"How do you tell the difference between a black bear and a grizzly bear? When you see a bear, climb a tree. If the bear climbs up after you and eats you, it's a black bear. If the bear knocks the tree down and eats you, it's a grizzly bear."
 
2014-05-15 02:36:54 AM
Don't try to run away from us, I mean, the bears.
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-15 02:45:10 AM
Chihuahua?  REALLY not seeing the downside here...
 
2014-05-15 03:16:54 AM

DarkVader: Chihuahua?  REALLY not seeing the downside here...


The dachshund was bred for hunting burrowing animals.  The bloodhound was bred for tracking things.  The German shepherd was bred for herding and hunting.

What the fark was the Chihuahua bred for?

After extensive research of doing a google search, I have found that their only purpose appears to be, "being an ugly, yappy little rat-creature."  All they've ever been is useless pets for people with a driving need to have an annoying, noisy little rat-creature in their home since the days of the Toltecs.
 
2014-05-15 03:52:14 AM

TheBigJerk: DarkVader: Chihuahua?  REALLY not seeing the downside here...

The dachshund was bred for hunting burrowing animals.  The bloodhound was bred for tracking things.  The German shepherd was bred for herding and hunting.

What the fark was the Chihuahua bred for?

After extensive research of doing a google search, I have found that their only purpose appears to be, "being an ugly, yappy little rat-creature."  All they've ever been is useless pets for people with a driving need to have an annoying, noisy little rat-creature in their home since the days of the Toltecs.


They were bred to be eaten.

Chihuahuas were bred by the Mesoamericans to be--surprise!--their version of pigs, since dogs will eat pretty much anything, are easy to keep and breed, and in the Americas, there weren't any other readily domesticable food animals for protein. But, you need them small if you're breeding carnivores for food, hence the Chihuahua as we know it today.

The Aztec version was a bit bigger and got fatter quicker; but that's what they were. They were slaughter animals. Keep them in pens, feed them garbage, and make stew out of them.
 
2014-05-15 04:07:25 AM

Gyrfalcon: TheBigJerk: DarkVader: Chihuahua?  REALLY not seeing the downside here...

The dachshund was bred for hunting burrowing animals.  The bloodhound was bred for tracking things.  The German shepherd was bred for herding and hunting.

What the fark was the Chihuahua bred for?

After extensive research of doing a google search, I have found that their only purpose appears to be, "being an ugly, yappy little rat-creature."  All they've ever been is useless pets for people with a driving need to have an annoying, noisy little rat-creature in their home since the days of the Toltecs.

They were bred to be eaten.

Chihuahuas were bred by the Mesoamericans to be--surprise!--their version of pigs, since dogs will eat pretty much anything, are easy to keep and breed, and in the Americas, there weren't any other readily domesticable food animals for protein. But, you need them small if you're breeding carnivores for food, hence the Chihuahua as we know it today.

The Aztec version was a bit bigger and got fatter quicker; but that's what they were. They were slaughter animals. Keep them in pens, feed them garbage, and make stew out of them.


I wonder if any of them ever escaped long enough to make a run for the border.
 
2014-05-15 04:48:35 AM
Go bears! One less noisemaking shiat-laying machine
 
2014-05-15 05:39:53 AM
That article's reveal rate was comic genius.

At first we think it is the one dog, but she actually has three. Then it is learned that little Paco might have thought the bear was a dog. Then we learn that they left dog bones outside, the bear ate them, and left bag where Paco fell. Then the couple decides to move the chickens...

Oh god I can't stop laughing.
 
2014-05-15 07:00:23 AM

TomD9938: whidbey: TomD9938: from Minneapolis

Two words:

Mosquitoes and humidity

/just sayin'

I'm well poised for a big move to Houston as I see it.

/ not sure if they have mosquitoes


Definitely mosquitoes in Houston, but they're not as bad as they are up North. Way rather deal with Texas mosquitoes than New Hampshire mosquitoes, which is my other significant experience.

Except a few years ago when there was one big rain during a drought and couple years of floodwater mosquitoes hatched. I had to work outside that day collecting samples near the Ship Channel and that was misery - Nomex suits really accentuate the itching. My wife reported mosquitoes on the 35th floor downtown as well.

If you lived in Houston in 2011 you probably remember that day.
 
2014-05-15 07:13:23 AM

Ambivalence: In Alaska, Chihuahuas are not dogs, they are snacks for the wildlife.   The problem is, they think they're dogs and act like they're dogs, but they aren't.  They're prey to just about everything.

You have to be some kind of stupid to have a Chihuahua in Alaska.


Agreed
 
2014-05-15 08:02:44 AM
God, people are stupid.

/Yeah, old news is old.
 
2014-05-15 10:53:06 AM
HILARIOUS!!!
 
2014-05-15 12:00:16 PM

whidbey: Yeah let's go move somewhere it's cold as fark and summer lasts a week.

Awesome idea.


Alaska is not for pussies.
 
2014-05-15 12:17:09 PM

KidneyStone: Angela Lansbury's Merkin: Similar thing here is California, only its coyotes who do it.  They can jump a pretty tall fence, so your dog isn't safe just because it is fenced in.

Ditto in Georgia. Add hawks into the mix for a dog that small.


I live in Georgia and I used to work at a vet's office. We had an elderly customer who would call us on a nearly daily basis to complain and fret over the hawk that she claimed was stalking her chihuahua. As in, flying down, perching on her windowsills and watching the dog through the window. It was hilarious.
 
2014-05-15 01:17:21 PM

I live in Georgia and I used to work at a vet's office. We had an elderly customer who would call us on a nearly daily basis to complain and fret over the hawk that she claimed was stalking her chihuahua. As in, flying down, perching on her windowsills and watching the dog through the window. It was hilarious.

upstreamgroundhawks.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-15 02:18:34 PM
Why would you bring a Chihuahua to Alaska?  That's just cruel!

Are we sure that the bear attacked the dog instead of the dog walking up to the bear and asking it for a quick death rather than freezing?
 
2014-05-15 03:11:40 PM
Moron moves to middle of the wilderness.  Feeds helpless pets to local wildlife.  Film at 11.
 
2014-05-15 04:22:00 PM

TaskForce26: Moron moves to middle of the wilderness.  Feeds helpless pets to local wildlife.  Film at 11.


They already made that film. Twice.
upload.wikimedia.orgupload.wikimedia.org
 
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