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(The Awl)   Cereal: It's not what's for breakfast anymore   (theawl.com ) divider line
    More: Sad, Kellogg Co., Froot Loops, frosted flakes, vegetarian food, breakfast  
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12283 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2014 at 4:40 PM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



155 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-14 05:16:21 PM  
Breakfast cereal is one of those products that people have convinced themselves is a healthy choice when a single serving of 3/4 cup often has as much, if not more, sugar than a candy bar (and equivalent fat when milk is added).

Because it's highly processed, the food loses most of its nutritious qualities. And those vitamins on the side of the box? Most are sprayed on and easily passed through urine as waste -- and there are serious questions about whether the body absorbs any of them.

That's not to say you shouldn't eat breakfast cereal. Rather, it's to say that if you're choosing between breakfast cereal and a candy bar because you believe one's healthier than the other, go with the candy.
 
2014-05-14 05:17:01 PM  

ashinmytomatoes: It doesn't take long to fry an egg. My favorite way to eat it is with toast, avocado, and salsa. You can also get those Jimmy Dean Delite sandwiches that have egg white and turkey sausage. They are actually pretty good and filling. Cereal does not fill me up. Forget 11. I'm hungry by 10 if I eat cereal, though mixing it with the higher-protein, plain, real Greek yogurt does help, it is still not as filling as eggs.


Randy Taylor. I don't know where you people come from. I don't know if you test your products. Your quantity of your products. Your products are very delicious. Love your sausage for thirty something years. But I can't take and feed a family of five on a little twelve ounce roll of sausage. I don't mind paying more money for your sixteen ounce roll of sausage, but you don't have it anymore. You've got a twelve ounce roll and you've got three men that weigh over two-hundred pounds a piece, a woman that's a little plump Scotch girl, and a daughter who's thirteen, and you're going to try to take a twelve ounce roll of sausage and a couple of dozen eggs and feed that - it ain't going to work - and I'm not going to purchase your product any more or ever again. And as far as your sixteen ounce Maple and Sage, I don't eat that. I'm not from the North. I'm a Texas man. Jimmy Dean Sausage is for Southern people to eat with their breakfast, with their fried eggs and their t-bone steak, and I can't see going to little twelve ounce package to feed four five six people and I'm not going to buy two of those twelve ounce packages just because you want to downsize and charge the same goddamn price. I'd sure like a reply and I'd sure like you to go back to your sixteen ounce package on your regular sausage 'cause I'm not going to buy it otherwise ever again. I'll just have my own damn sausage made like I used to thirty something years ago. It's not tasty as yours is but it'll work. Good bye. A little twelve ounce goddamn roll of sausage supposed to feed your brother, me, and you - six hundred pounds of men at least, get my point? - and the two girls, and they put it in that farking pussy roll of sausage. Son of a biatch. Somebody needs their ass kicked. Some little consumer geekaroid thought this shiat up. Save money, yeah. Saves money. Save money. fark, I want to eat, goddammit.
 
2014-05-14 05:18:46 PM  

NateAsbestos: CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

I'll have eggs and coffee... thanks...

You apparently have something called "milk farts" but no such symptoms from eggs?

I'm sorry you're incapable of recognizing any cereals beyond Fruity Pebbles.


I might get some egg farts if i don't cook the yolk all the way through... which is why i normally cook an omelet for breakfast...

And I'll repeat myself once again, all those carbs will turn to sugar once in your system...
 
2014-05-14 05:19:46 PM  
Leftovers are great for breakfast. Some, like pizza or fried chicken, are awesome cold.
 
2014-05-14 05:19:54 PM  

CeroX: and milk, while delicious, should only be used in cooking and coffee...


Only if you're so deficient that you can't process it properly. But I'm repeating myself.
 
2014-05-14 05:22:44 PM  

2 words...breakfast tacos.

F dat kiddie stuff.



ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-14 05:23:48 PM  

Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]


Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.
 
2014-05-14 05:24:00 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EOp-1C5qFQ

James Gregory figured out breakfast a long time ago.

Well...at the 1:19 mark anyhow...

/Rest of the clip is pretty funny
 
2014-05-14 05:27:12 PM  
It takes ten gallons of water just to make one corn flake. Just made that up.
 
2014-05-14 05:28:17 PM  
Breakfast?

A couple beers and a cigarette. I get my carbs the old fashioned way.
 
2014-05-14 05:35:17 PM  
It's not sad at all, really.  Cereal is made of relatively low-nutrition carbs.  It's really NOT part of a complete breakfast; I can hardly think of a less healthy thing to eat to start the day aside from, like, cake or something.  Even in the case of things like oatmeal or high-fiber "healthy" stuff that tastes like twine, it is still less nutritious than a lot of other things you could be eating.  Have some yogurt (not that low-fat starch-thickened bullsh*t) and fruit, or bacon and eggs, or something like that.


CeroX: milk, while delicious, should only be used in cooking and coffee...


Pfeh.  Screw that, I drink it by the gallon.  And CREAM is for coffee.


NateAsbestos: You apparently have something called "milk farts" but no such symptoms from eggs?


Why would you get the same symptoms from eggs?  Are you under the impression that all dairy items are composed of the same things?
 
2014-05-14 05:35:42 PM  

secularsage: Breakfast cereal is one of those products that people have convinced themselves is a healthy choice when a single serving of 3/4 cup often has as much, if not more, sugar than a candy bar (and equivalent fat when milk is added).

Because it's highly processed, the food loses most of its nutritious qualities. And those vitamins on the side of the box? Most are sprayed on and easily passed through urine as waste -- and there are serious questions about whether the body absorbs any of them.

That's not to say you shouldn't eat breakfast cereal. Rather, it's to say that if you're choosing between breakfast cereal and a candy bar because you believe one's healthier than the other, go with the candy.


Most of it has jacksh*t nutrition wise and is not inexpensive but had very good PR at the right time. That said, eat what you want.
 
2014-05-14 05:35:58 PM  

Parthenogenetic: smd31: Plain ol' Cheerios for me usually.

/maybe frosted mini wheats every now and then
//or cap'n crunch peanut butter crunch

Good Lord, I read that as "plain ol' Cheetos" and got this mental image:

[cdn.myfaithradio.com image 594x350]

Meh, I'd try it.

But, like you said, just the plain ones.  A bowl of Flamin' Hot Cheetos seems like more of a lunch item.


haha, nice.

I seem to be a 'snacker'...(almost) no matter what I eat, I'll be hungry in 2-4 hours.

/not fat but not thin like I used to be
//just need to stop snacking late at night before going to bed
///easier now that I'm 'on my own'
 
2014-05-14 05:38:25 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]

Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.


Without the tortillas you'll have to use a fork like some sort of savage.
 
2014-05-14 05:38:45 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]

Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.


Jesus Christ don't you belong over in the CrossFit thread?
 
2014-05-14 05:40:07 PM  

UncomfortableSilence: dj_spanmaster: Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]

Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.

Without the tortillas you'll have to use a fork like some sort of savage.


And you won't be able to eat them on the way to work.

\mind the dreaded salsa drip.
 
2014-05-14 05:43:36 PM  
Christ doesn't anyone have a roll with butter any more or a piece of fruit?  Breakfast tacos and sausage waffles?  Farking gavones, man
 
2014-05-14 05:44:16 PM  
It's the most important meal of the day...

depot-express.com
 
2014-05-14 05:44:32 PM  

walkerhound: dj_spanmaster: Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]

Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.

Jesus Christ don't you belong over in the CrossFit thread?


Don't worry, I'll be there in 26 minutes.
 
2014-05-14 05:45:05 PM  

Gawdzila: Why would you get the same symptoms from eggs? Are you under the impression that all dairy items are composed of the same things?


So eggs are considered dairy now? Funny, I guess I missed the news story where they discovered cows that lay eggs.
 
2014-05-14 05:45:17 PM  
My breakfast is a pot of coffee and a Marlboro.


Cereal is my late night, kind of want something sweet, but not exactly sure what I want dish.   Usually a mix of a couple different brands.  Life Krispies, for example.
 
2014-05-14 05:45:34 PM  
Skimmed through thread and pretty sure I did not see one 'Seinfeld' reference. Tsk tsk...
 
2014-05-14 05:46:25 PM  
www.budgetsavvydiva.com

Double order of hash browns scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced and topped, please.
 
2014-05-14 05:48:02 PM  
Yogurt is farking disgusting so no, I'm not switching to it.
 
2014-05-14 05:55:48 PM  

Maud Dib: UncomfortableSilence: dj_spanmaster: Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]

Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.

Without the tortillas you'll have to use a fork like some sort of savage.

And you won't be able to eat them on the way to work.

\mind the dreaded salsa drip.


Yes, this too.  Sometimes I just get hung up on the indignity of utensils.
 
2014-05-14 05:57:41 PM  
Cereal is candy dunked in milk, if you did not know this then you deserve the diabeetus and early death and thank you for your mega dose of stoopid to the gene pool.
 
2014-05-14 05:58:27 PM  
I eat cereal all the time. But not for breakfast; I generally don't like to eat right when I get up.
 
2014-05-14 06:00:32 PM  
When cereal became a game of "most volume and least matter, for the most money", yeah, it was looking for the door at that point. I'm looking for food, not empty, expensive calories.
 
2014-05-14 06:03:28 PM  
I split my breakfast into two meals. Cup of yogurt on waking, pork sausages and coffee after exercise. No cereal, no milk. Has done wonders for my waistline.
 
2014-05-14 06:04:10 PM  
Cereal is not what's for breakfast because it's turned to crap.  Rice Krispies, Multi-Grain Cheerios, and Golden Grahams are the only ones I would even consider buying, and GG isn't nearly as good as it used to be.

/Switched to fruit and yogurt smoothies most days
//Occasionally a breakfast burrito
 
2014-05-14 06:04:14 PM  
Frosted Mini-Wheats, a slice of peanut butter toast and maybe a little yogurt holds me until 11:30.

On the weekends I load up on Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch with the kiddos and sugar crash by 11, but it is a fun way to kill a Saturday morning.

/Cereal, cold dead hands, etc
//Lost 27 lbs since August so STFU
///It's always in threes, right?
 
2014-05-14 06:05:36 PM  
muffins are basically cake
 
2014-05-14 06:05:46 PM  
Cereal is great anytime.
The biggest issue is that for each box we buy, we are getting rear ended by General Mills et al.
$5 for a box that contains less than $1 worth of actual cereal?!  it's insulting.
 
2014-05-14 06:07:11 PM  

mama2tnt: Who the fark can eat before noon on an empty stomach?

/Brunch ftw.


i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-14 06:09:17 PM  

thy crotch: Cereal is great anytime.
The biggest issue is that for each box we buy, we are getting rear ended by General Mills et al.
$5 for a box that contains less than $1 worth of actual cereal?!  it's insulting.


I hear you. I would prefer to stay out of Wal-Mart, but I can get full family sized boxes of name brand cereal there for three bucks. Yes, I have sold my soul for cereal.
 
2014-05-14 06:11:01 PM  
Cereal?  They still make that crap?  The closest I get to that Tiger is the occasional bowl of OAFMEAL-
37.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-14 06:16:06 PM  
Bacon covered bacon with a side of bacon.
 
2014-05-14 06:22:58 PM  
I more often eat cereal at night than for breakfast. That's just how I roll.
 
2014-05-14 06:27:12 PM  
Cereal is a scam. Nothing heart healthy about cheerios, khashi, or shredded wheat. Eat some bacon and eggs.

Bulletproof coffee works too.
 
2014-05-14 06:33:20 PM  
wichitaleaf: Please splain.

Well for one thing it looks like (warning NSFL) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harlequin_type_ichthyosis (warning NSFL) Other pictures you will find on the internet will be even more NSFL.

Also see that highest foot? That's the most accurate fake newborn's foot I've ever seen.
 
2014-05-14 06:36:36 PM  
You mean the business model of "take 5 cents of commodity corn, pump it full of refined sugar, spray it with token vitamins, and sell it for 5 bucks" isn't sustainable forever? Perish the thought!

Yeah I've been reading a lot of Michael Pollan recently.
 
2014-05-14 06:38:01 PM  
Gawdzila:


CeroX: milk, while delicious, should only be used in cooking and coffee...

Pfeh.  Screw that, I drink it by the gallon.  And CREAM is for coffee.



That's SICK! Don't you know where that stuff comes from? They squeeze it out of the back of cows! Eww!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a nice,wholesome plate of eggs to get back to...

/Actually I HATE the taste of just drinking milk, but love dairy products in general
//Behold,the power of cheese.
 
2014-05-14 06:39:26 PM  
What the fark cereal are you people eating, anyway? You know, there are more choices than Lucky Charms and Cocoa Krispies, just saying.

Also, I had to google "bulletproof coffee". Great, a way to make coffee taste even more like ass.
 
2014-05-14 06:42:37 PM  

Pokey.Clyde: So eggs are considered dairy now? Funny, I guess I missed the news story where they discovered cows that lay eggs.


Hmmm, I guess we have here one of those rare people who haven't heard of the term "dairy aisle" before.
 
2014-05-14 06:47:01 PM  

ashinmytomatoes: It doesn't take long to fry an egg. My favorite way to eat it is with toast, avocado, and salsa. You can also get those Jimmy Dean Delite sandwiches that have egg white and turkey sausage. They are actually pretty good and filling. Cereal does not fill me up. Forget 11. I'm hungry by 10 if I eat cereal, though mixing it with the higher-protein, plain, real Greek yogurt does help, it is still not as filling as eggs.

/Still get to work for 8
//Yes, I have to get up early.


but unless you eat the whole avocado, you end up throwing the rest away, after it discolors
 
2014-05-14 06:52:45 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 06:55:12 PM  
www.mrbreakfast.com

Chocolate cereal: combining the best of two worlds.
 
2014-05-14 06:57:34 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 06:58:03 PM  
I have two bowls of cold cereal for breakfast almost every day.
 
2014-05-14 07:02:00 PM  
Laughing at all the people who think skipping breakfast is some how healthier than eating cereal.
 
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