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(The Awl)   Cereal: It's not what's for breakfast anymore   (theawl.com) divider line 155
    More: Sad, Kellogg Co., Froot Loops, frosted flakes, vegetarian food, breakfast  
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12258 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2014 at 4:40 PM (36 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



155 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-14 02:36:21 PM  
I'm partial to hummus, fresh fruit and good strong coffee.
 
2014-05-14 04:05:06 PM  
Bratwurst and eggs with Bulletproof Coffee.
 
2014-05-14 04:43:33 PM  
Sausage egg waffle.

None of that Masturbation Prevention for me.
 
2014-05-14 04:43:35 PM  
leftover pizza.
 
2014-05-14 04:44:00 PM  
Because it SUCKS anymore. Cereals that once filled you up (density-wise) are now all air and flavorless.
 
2014-05-14 04:44:12 PM  
Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

I'll have eggs and coffee... thanks...
 
2014-05-14 04:44:40 PM  
Plain ol' Cheerios for me usually.

/maybe frosted mini wheats every now and then
//or cap'n crunch peanut butter crunch
 
2014-05-14 04:45:07 PM  

CeroX: Because unless your you're younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

I'll have eggs and coffee... thanks...


FTFM
 
2014-05-14 04:45:30 PM  
I think this guy would disagree with said article:
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-05-14 04:45:35 PM  
Who the fark can eat before noon on an empty stomach?

/Brunch ftw.
 
2014-05-14 04:45:57 PM  
Eggs, bacon, cheese, salsa. Coffee - in a separate container, of course.

Also, having read the article, they're right on. Cereal definitely needs a change.
 
2014-05-14 04:47:13 PM  

ecmoRandomNumbers: Bratwurst and eggs with Bulletproof Coffee.


I like the cut of your jib.
 
2014-05-14 04:47:25 PM  
If you plan to eat any heart-clogging and wonderful pork products, first thing in the morning is the time to do it.
 
2014-05-14 04:47:26 PM  

mama2tnt: Who the fark can eat before noon on an empty stomach?


My guess is almost anyone, considering their stomach is empty.
 
2014-05-14 04:47:32 PM  
I hadn't needed cereal since i moved 3 months ago, the new store's cereal aisle was 1/4th of the aisle with the rest being coffee, tea, granola, cocoa, and power bars.
I grabbed my Kashi and ran...
 
2014-05-14 04:47:44 PM  
Who gets up before noon anyway?  And who doesn't go to bed by 5 am?
 
2014-05-14 04:47:51 PM  
media.heavy.com

GET IN MY BELLY!
 
2014-05-14 04:48:08 PM  

mama2tnt: Who the fark can eat before noon on an empty stomach?

/Brunch ftw.


Yes, cereal real is only suitable for the servile classes. If I'm up before 10am something is wrong.
 
2014-05-14 04:48:21 PM  
My wife eats cereal any time of the day except breakfast.  Me, only breakfast...any other time is heresy.  And I only eat the ultimate Lutheran breakfast, shredded wheat. Skim milk, no sugar. Maybe slice a banana on it.
 
2014-05-14 04:48:34 PM  
There is some powerful smug resonating off of that article.
 
2014-05-14 04:49:41 PM  
From the comments:

www.theawl.com barnhouse (#1,326)

Pot legalization likely to reverse this trend.
Posted on May 14, 2014 at 9:47 am
Reply » 1
 
2014-05-14 04:49:44 PM  
As for me, swiss cheese on rye toast, buttered or dijonned.
 
2014-05-14 04:50:19 PM  

Munchkin City Coroner: [media.heavy.com image 500x355]

GET IN MY BELLY!


That's one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen.
 
2014-05-14 04:50:37 PM  

MBooda: And I only eat the ultimate Lutheran breakfast, shredded wheat. Skim milk, no sugar. Maybe slice a banana on it.


Methodist.
 
2014-05-14 04:51:37 PM  

CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...


Right, because there are no cereals out there that aren't loaded with sugar. Hell, the sweetest cereal I've ever eaten is Raisin Bran. I can't stand sugary cereals.

/and if you are so genetically inferior that you can't digest milk properly....well, sucks to be you
 
2014-05-14 04:51:51 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: Munchkin City Coroner: [media.heavy.com image 500x355]

GET IN MY BELLY!

That's one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen.


Deliciously Distrubing
 
2014-05-14 04:53:05 PM  
It doesn't take long to fry an egg. My favorite way to eat it is with toast, avocado, and salsa. You can also get those Jimmy Dean Delite sandwiches that have egg white and turkey sausage. They are actually pretty good and filling. Cereal does not fill me up. Forget 11. I'm hungry by 10 if I eat cereal, though mixing it with the higher-protein, plain, real Greek yogurt does help, it is still not as filling as eggs.

/Still get to work for 8
//Yes, I have to get up early.
 
2014-05-14 04:53:20 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: Munchkin City Coroner: [media.heavy.com image 500x355]

GET IN MY BELLY!

That's one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen.


Please splain.
 
2014-05-14 04:53:41 PM  
Work day:  oatmeal at desk
Weekend (my place):  cereal (not chocolate frosted sugar bombs)
Weekend (her place):  probably egg sammiches (I cook)

Occasional dinner:  cereal (still no sugar bombs)
 
2014-05-14 04:55:05 PM  
Good. Cereal is a terrible thing to eat for breakfast with a couple of exceptions, one of them being Grape Nuts.
 
2014-05-14 04:56:13 PM  

Pokey.Clyde: CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

Right, because there are no cereals out there that aren't loaded with sugar. Hell, the sweetest cereal I've ever eaten is Raisin Bran. I can't stand sugary cereals.

/and if you are so genetically inferior that you can't digest milk properly....well, sucks to be you


Protip: Carbs turn to sugar... and milk, while delicious, should only be used in cooking and coffee...
 
2014-05-14 04:56:27 PM  
Says who? Hipsters?

/dnrtfa
 
2014-05-14 04:56:44 PM  
Agree with article. Cereal is what I eat at midnight, with almond milk. My current favs:

Kashi Berry Fruitful
Kashi oat flakes w/blueberry
Kashi raisin vineyard (you sensing a theme here?)
Trader Joe's Maple Pecan (not particularly healthy but tasty)
 
2014-05-14 04:57:01 PM  
I'll take a coffee, banana, and STFU
 
2014-05-14 04:57:45 PM  

jigger: Good. Cereal is a terrible thing to eat for breakfast with a couple of exceptions, one of them being Grape Nuts.


I'm gonna grape you in the mouth?
 
2014-05-14 05:00:02 PM  

tarheel07: I'll take a coffee, banana, and STFU


That is exactly my breakfast if I overate at dinner the night before or something.
 
2014-05-14 05:01:04 PM  
The problem with breakfast is it starts way too early.
 
2014-05-14 05:01:21 PM  
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-14 05:02:22 PM  
Not a good source of protein?  Article has never heard of Kashi?
 
2014-05-14 05:04:00 PM  
At the bottom of the article page:

More From The Awl
[steakpic.jp]
farking Steak And How To Cook It

Well, then. That's just disgusting.
 
2014-05-14 05:06:02 PM  
Eggs cooked in good butter, bacon, and coffee.

Or if I'm in a hurry, the bulletproof coffee does the trick until noonish.
 
2014-05-14 05:06:18 PM  
beer
 
2014-05-14 05:06:22 PM  

CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

I'll have eggs and coffee... thanks...


You apparently have something called "milk farts" but no such symptoms from eggs?

I'm sorry you're incapable of recognizing any cereals beyond Fruity Pebbles.
 
2014-05-14 05:07:15 PM  
A smurf berry shortage was documented on Robot Chicken   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Grc2VMHNrH4
 
2014-05-14 05:07:47 PM  

smd31: Plain ol' Cheerios for me usually.

/maybe frosted mini wheats every now and then
//or cap'n crunch peanut butter crunch


Good Lord, I read that as "plain ol' Cheetos" and got this mental image:

cdn.myfaithradio.com

Meh, I'd try it.

But, like you said, just the plain ones.  A bowl of Flamin' Hot Cheetos seems like more of a lunch item.
 
2014-05-14 05:08:05 PM  
For breakfast today I had a bowl of left over Irish stew. Yesterday was this lobster and sherry and cream of celery concoction over rice. Tommorow it will be bratwurst.
 
2014-05-14 05:11:11 PM  
Who the hell has time to eat breakfast.
 
2014-05-14 05:15:20 PM  

CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

I'll have eggs and coffee... thanks...


New keyboard.  You owe me one.
 
2014-05-14 05:15:52 PM  

CeroX: Pokey.Clyde: CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

Right, because there are no cereals out there that aren't loaded with sugar. Hell, the sweetest cereal I've ever eaten is Raisin Bran. I can't stand sugary cereals.

/and if you are so genetically inferior that you can't digest milk properly....well, sucks to be you

Protip: Carbs turn to sugar... and milk, while delicious, should only be used in cooking and coffee...


Pussy.
 
2014-05-14 05:16:02 PM  
Goddamn, that is Not News even for Fark.
 
2014-05-14 05:16:21 PM  
Breakfast cereal is one of those products that people have convinced themselves is a healthy choice when a single serving of 3/4 cup often has as much, if not more, sugar than a candy bar (and equivalent fat when milk is added).

Because it's highly processed, the food loses most of its nutritious qualities. And those vitamins on the side of the box? Most are sprayed on and easily passed through urine as waste -- and there are serious questions about whether the body absorbs any of them.

That's not to say you shouldn't eat breakfast cereal. Rather, it's to say that if you're choosing between breakfast cereal and a candy bar because you believe one's healthier than the other, go with the candy.
 
2014-05-14 05:17:01 PM  

ashinmytomatoes: It doesn't take long to fry an egg. My favorite way to eat it is with toast, avocado, and salsa. You can also get those Jimmy Dean Delite sandwiches that have egg white and turkey sausage. They are actually pretty good and filling. Cereal does not fill me up. Forget 11. I'm hungry by 10 if I eat cereal, though mixing it with the higher-protein, plain, real Greek yogurt does help, it is still not as filling as eggs.


Randy Taylor. I don't know where you people come from. I don't know if you test your products. Your quantity of your products. Your products are very delicious. Love your sausage for thirty something years. But I can't take and feed a family of five on a little twelve ounce roll of sausage. I don't mind paying more money for your sixteen ounce roll of sausage, but you don't have it anymore. You've got a twelve ounce roll and you've got three men that weigh over two-hundred pounds a piece, a woman that's a little plump Scotch girl, and a daughter who's thirteen, and you're going to try to take a twelve ounce roll of sausage and a couple of dozen eggs and feed that - it ain't going to work - and I'm not going to purchase your product any more or ever again. And as far as your sixteen ounce Maple and Sage, I don't eat that. I'm not from the North. I'm a Texas man. Jimmy Dean Sausage is for Southern people to eat with their breakfast, with their fried eggs and their t-bone steak, and I can't see going to little twelve ounce package to feed four five six people and I'm not going to buy two of those twelve ounce packages just because you want to downsize and charge the same goddamn price. I'd sure like a reply and I'd sure like you to go back to your sixteen ounce package on your regular sausage 'cause I'm not going to buy it otherwise ever again. I'll just have my own damn sausage made like I used to thirty something years ago. It's not tasty as yours is but it'll work. Good bye. A little twelve ounce goddamn roll of sausage supposed to feed your brother, me, and you - six hundred pounds of men at least, get my point? - and the two girls, and they put it in that farking pussy roll of sausage. Son of a biatch. Somebody needs their ass kicked. Some little consumer geekaroid thought this shiat up. Save money, yeah. Saves money. Save money. fark, I want to eat, goddammit.
 
2014-05-14 05:18:46 PM  

NateAsbestos: CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

I'll have eggs and coffee... thanks...

You apparently have something called "milk farts" but no such symptoms from eggs?

I'm sorry you're incapable of recognizing any cereals beyond Fruity Pebbles.


I might get some egg farts if i don't cook the yolk all the way through... which is why i normally cook an omelet for breakfast...

And I'll repeat myself once again, all those carbs will turn to sugar once in your system...
 
2014-05-14 05:19:46 PM  
Leftovers are great for breakfast. Some, like pizza or fried chicken, are awesome cold.
 
2014-05-14 05:19:54 PM  

CeroX: and milk, while delicious, should only be used in cooking and coffee...


Only if you're so deficient that you can't process it properly. But I'm repeating myself.
 
2014-05-14 05:22:44 PM  

2 words...breakfast tacos.

F dat kiddie stuff.



ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-14 05:23:48 PM  

Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]


Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.
 
2014-05-14 05:24:00 PM  
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3EOp-1C5qFQ

James Gregory figured out breakfast a long time ago.

Well...at the 1:19 mark anyhow...

/Rest of the clip is pretty funny
 
2014-05-14 05:27:12 PM  
It takes ten gallons of water just to make one corn flake. Just made that up.
 
2014-05-14 05:28:17 PM  
Breakfast?

A couple beers and a cigarette. I get my carbs the old fashioned way.
 
2014-05-14 05:35:17 PM  
It's not sad at all, really.  Cereal is made of relatively low-nutrition carbs.  It's really NOT part of a complete breakfast; I can hardly think of a less healthy thing to eat to start the day aside from, like, cake or something.  Even in the case of things like oatmeal or high-fiber "healthy" stuff that tastes like twine, it is still less nutritious than a lot of other things you could be eating.  Have some yogurt (not that low-fat starch-thickened bullsh*t) and fruit, or bacon and eggs, or something like that.


CeroX: milk, while delicious, should only be used in cooking and coffee...


Pfeh.  Screw that, I drink it by the gallon.  And CREAM is for coffee.


NateAsbestos: You apparently have something called "milk farts" but no such symptoms from eggs?


Why would you get the same symptoms from eggs?  Are you under the impression that all dairy items are composed of the same things?
 
2014-05-14 05:35:42 PM  

secularsage: Breakfast cereal is one of those products that people have convinced themselves is a healthy choice when a single serving of 3/4 cup often has as much, if not more, sugar than a candy bar (and equivalent fat when milk is added).

Because it's highly processed, the food loses most of its nutritious qualities. And those vitamins on the side of the box? Most are sprayed on and easily passed through urine as waste -- and there are serious questions about whether the body absorbs any of them.

That's not to say you shouldn't eat breakfast cereal. Rather, it's to say that if you're choosing between breakfast cereal and a candy bar because you believe one's healthier than the other, go with the candy.


Most of it has jacksh*t nutrition wise and is not inexpensive but had very good PR at the right time. That said, eat what you want.
 
2014-05-14 05:35:58 PM  

Parthenogenetic: smd31: Plain ol' Cheerios for me usually.

/maybe frosted mini wheats every now and then
//or cap'n crunch peanut butter crunch

Good Lord, I read that as "plain ol' Cheetos" and got this mental image:

[cdn.myfaithradio.com image 594x350]

Meh, I'd try it.

But, like you said, just the plain ones.  A bowl of Flamin' Hot Cheetos seems like more of a lunch item.


haha, nice.

I seem to be a 'snacker'...(almost) no matter what I eat, I'll be hungry in 2-4 hours.

/not fat but not thin like I used to be
//just need to stop snacking late at night before going to bed
///easier now that I'm 'on my own'
 
2014-05-14 05:38:25 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]

Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.


Without the tortillas you'll have to use a fork like some sort of savage.
 
2014-05-14 05:38:45 PM  

dj_spanmaster: Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]

Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.


Jesus Christ don't you belong over in the CrossFit thread?
 
2014-05-14 05:40:07 PM  

UncomfortableSilence: dj_spanmaster: Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]

Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.

Without the tortillas you'll have to use a fork like some sort of savage.


And you won't be able to eat them on the way to work.

\mind the dreaded salsa drip.
 
2014-05-14 05:43:36 PM  
Christ doesn't anyone have a roll with butter any more or a piece of fruit?  Breakfast tacos and sausage waffles?  Farking gavones, man
 
2014-05-14 05:44:16 PM  
It's the most important meal of the day...

depot-express.com
 
2014-05-14 05:44:32 PM  

walkerhound: dj_spanmaster: Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]

Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.

Jesus Christ don't you belong over in the CrossFit thread?


Don't worry, I'll be there in 26 minutes.
 
2014-05-14 05:45:05 PM  

Gawdzila: Why would you get the same symptoms from eggs? Are you under the impression that all dairy items are composed of the same things?


So eggs are considered dairy now? Funny, I guess I missed the news story where they discovered cows that lay eggs.
 
2014-05-14 05:45:17 PM  
My breakfast is a pot of coffee and a Marlboro.


Cereal is my late night, kind of want something sweet, but not exactly sure what I want dish.   Usually a mix of a couple different brands.  Life Krispies, for example.
 
2014-05-14 05:45:34 PM  
Skimmed through thread and pretty sure I did not see one 'Seinfeld' reference. Tsk tsk...
 
2014-05-14 05:46:25 PM  
www.budgetsavvydiva.com

Double order of hash browns scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced and topped, please.
 
2014-05-14 05:48:02 PM  
Yogurt is farking disgusting so no, I'm not switching to it.
 
2014-05-14 05:55:48 PM  

Maud Dib: UncomfortableSilence: dj_spanmaster: Maud Dib: 2 words...breakfast tacos.F dat kiddie stuff.

[ishouldcocoa.files.wordpress.com image 850x631]

Yes. That, without the tortillas. Useless calories.

Without the tortillas you'll have to use a fork like some sort of savage.

And you won't be able to eat them on the way to work.

\mind the dreaded salsa drip.


Yes, this too.  Sometimes I just get hung up on the indignity of utensils.
 
2014-05-14 05:57:41 PM  
Cereal is candy dunked in milk, if you did not know this then you deserve the diabeetus and early death and thank you for your mega dose of stoopid to the gene pool.
 
2014-05-14 05:58:27 PM  
I eat cereal all the time. But not for breakfast; I generally don't like to eat right when I get up.
 
2014-05-14 06:00:32 PM  
When cereal became a game of "most volume and least matter, for the most money", yeah, it was looking for the door at that point. I'm looking for food, not empty, expensive calories.
 
2014-05-14 06:03:28 PM  
I split my breakfast into two meals. Cup of yogurt on waking, pork sausages and coffee after exercise. No cereal, no milk. Has done wonders for my waistline.
 
2014-05-14 06:04:10 PM  
Cereal is not what's for breakfast because it's turned to crap.  Rice Krispies, Multi-Grain Cheerios, and Golden Grahams are the only ones I would even consider buying, and GG isn't nearly as good as it used to be.

/Switched to fruit and yogurt smoothies most days
//Occasionally a breakfast burrito
 
2014-05-14 06:04:14 PM  
Frosted Mini-Wheats, a slice of peanut butter toast and maybe a little yogurt holds me until 11:30.

On the weekends I load up on Peanut Butter Cap'n Crunch with the kiddos and sugar crash by 11, but it is a fun way to kill a Saturday morning.

/Cereal, cold dead hands, etc
//Lost 27 lbs since August so STFU
///It's always in threes, right?
 
2014-05-14 06:05:36 PM  
muffins are basically cake
 
2014-05-14 06:05:46 PM  
Cereal is great anytime.
The biggest issue is that for each box we buy, we are getting rear ended by General Mills et al.
$5 for a box that contains less than $1 worth of actual cereal?!  it's insulting.
 
2014-05-14 06:07:11 PM  

mama2tnt: Who the fark can eat before noon on an empty stomach?

/Brunch ftw.


i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-14 06:09:17 PM  

thy crotch: Cereal is great anytime.
The biggest issue is that for each box we buy, we are getting rear ended by General Mills et al.
$5 for a box that contains less than $1 worth of actual cereal?!  it's insulting.


I hear you. I would prefer to stay out of Wal-Mart, but I can get full family sized boxes of name brand cereal there for three bucks. Yes, I have sold my soul for cereal.
 
2014-05-14 06:11:01 PM  
Cereal?  They still make that crap?  The closest I get to that Tiger is the occasional bowl of OAFMEAL-
37.media.tumblr.com
 
2014-05-14 06:16:06 PM  
Bacon covered bacon with a side of bacon.
 
2014-05-14 06:22:58 PM  
I more often eat cereal at night than for breakfast. That's just how I roll.
 
2014-05-14 06:27:12 PM  
Cereal is a scam. Nothing heart healthy about cheerios, khashi, or shredded wheat. Eat some bacon and eggs.

Bulletproof coffee works too.
 
2014-05-14 06:33:20 PM  
wichitaleaf: Please splain.

Well for one thing it looks like (warning NSFL) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harlequin_type_ichthyosis (warning NSFL) Other pictures you will find on the internet will be even more NSFL.

Also see that highest foot? That's the most accurate fake newborn's foot I've ever seen.
 
2014-05-14 06:36:36 PM  
You mean the business model of "take 5 cents of commodity corn, pump it full of refined sugar, spray it with token vitamins, and sell it for 5 bucks" isn't sustainable forever? Perish the thought!

Yeah I've been reading a lot of Michael Pollan recently.
 
2014-05-14 06:38:01 PM  
Gawdzila:


CeroX: milk, while delicious, should only be used in cooking and coffee...

Pfeh.  Screw that, I drink it by the gallon.  And CREAM is for coffee.



That's SICK! Don't you know where that stuff comes from? They squeeze it out of the back of cows! Eww!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have a nice,wholesome plate of eggs to get back to...

/Actually I HATE the taste of just drinking milk, but love dairy products in general
//Behold,the power of cheese.
 
2014-05-14 06:39:26 PM  
What the fark cereal are you people eating, anyway? You know, there are more choices than Lucky Charms and Cocoa Krispies, just saying.

Also, I had to google "bulletproof coffee". Great, a way to make coffee taste even more like ass.
 
2014-05-14 06:42:37 PM  

Pokey.Clyde: So eggs are considered dairy now? Funny, I guess I missed the news story where they discovered cows that lay eggs.


Hmmm, I guess we have here one of those rare people who haven't heard of the term "dairy aisle" before.
 
2014-05-14 06:47:01 PM  

ashinmytomatoes: It doesn't take long to fry an egg. My favorite way to eat it is with toast, avocado, and salsa. You can also get those Jimmy Dean Delite sandwiches that have egg white and turkey sausage. They are actually pretty good and filling. Cereal does not fill me up. Forget 11. I'm hungry by 10 if I eat cereal, though mixing it with the higher-protein, plain, real Greek yogurt does help, it is still not as filling as eggs.

/Still get to work for 8
//Yes, I have to get up early.


but unless you eat the whole avocado, you end up throwing the rest away, after it discolors
 
2014-05-14 06:52:45 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 06:55:12 PM  
www.mrbreakfast.com

Chocolate cereal: combining the best of two worlds.
 
2014-05-14 06:57:34 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 06:58:03 PM  
I have two bowls of cold cereal for breakfast almost every day.
 
2014-05-14 07:02:00 PM  
Laughing at all the people who think skipping breakfast is some how healthier than eating cereal.
 
2014-05-14 07:08:07 PM  

Gyrfalcon: Goddamn, that is Not News even for Fark.


When the Hells has that stopped us?

As for breakfast: usually I grab fruit and some pastry, with coffee. Lots of coffee. If I'm in the mood, grits, eggs, and some bacon or sausage. Maybe some trout hash if I've still got any left from dinner with green onion fom the garden.

Cereal is a late night snack, but less and less as lactose has decided it hateses me...
 
2014-05-14 07:10:26 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: wichitaleaf


I've never seen that before:
Throwing away unfetchable URL http://www.fark.com/comments/8260466/90865418%23c90865418: 500 read timeout

Somehow it posted anyway.
 
2014-05-14 07:11:13 PM  

genner: Laughing at all the people who think skipping breakfast is some how healthier than eating cereal.


It is. Quit eating 6 carbo loaded meals a day you won't spend all day on a crash and spike sugar rush.
 
2014-05-14 07:15:44 PM  
img.fark.netimg.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 07:18:00 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: wichitaleaf: Please splain.

Well for one thing it looks like (warning NSFL) https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Harlequin_type_ichthyosis (warning NSFL) Other pictures you will find on the internet will be even more NSFL.

Also see that highest foot? That's the most accurate fake newborn's foot I've ever seen.


Too bad that's a plastic doll covered in some form of italian bacon. I wouldn't put it in the oven.
 
2014-05-14 07:19:15 PM  

NakedDrummer: genner: Laughing at all the people who think skipping breakfast is some how healthier than eating cereal.

It is. Quit eating 6 carbo loaded meals a day you won't spend all day on a crash and spike sugar rush.


This is why the gods have us coffee...
 
2014-05-14 07:22:41 PM  
4.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-14 07:23:50 PM  
I miss Alpha-Bits
 
2014-05-14 07:25:24 PM  
 
2014-05-14 07:35:38 PM  

Fark like a Barsoomian: Munchkin City Coroner: [media.heavy.com image 500x355]

GET IN MY BELLY!

That's one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen.


You misspelled delicious.
 
2014-05-14 07:40:30 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 07:43:06 PM  
Article and subby can both fark off.

1) 1/3 cup of oatmeal
2) 2 tbsp of yogurt
3) 2 tsp of jam (preferably strawberry or raspberry)
4) 1 big tbsp of peanut butter

Keeps me going all morning and is delicious. The Nespresso machine at the office helps too.
 
2014-05-14 07:44:55 PM  
My usual breakfast is a bagel with bacon and cheese accompanied by a pot of coffee.

Back when I had youth and energy, I could eat the good stuff like Blueberry Waffelos, Fruit Loops, Frosted Flakes, Count Chocula, anything with marshmallows, etc. Now, I need lame stuff like protein.

I really miss the days when I never worried about what I was eating.
 
2014-05-14 07:55:31 PM  
For 95%+ of the stuff out there it would be healthier to eat the box rather than what is in the box.

ishootthepictures.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-14 07:56:49 PM  

SuperChuck: I miss Alpha-Bits


You don't have to.

http://www.postfoods.com/our-brands/alpha-bits/

/Back on store shelves.
 
2014-05-14 07:57:39 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 07:58:52 PM  
and for those who are British...

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 08:02:33 PM  
black coffee strong enough to stand a spoon up in and cigarettes

/gets up at noon
 
2014-05-14 08:06:19 PM  

fastfxr: Because it SUCKS anymore. Cereals that once filled you up (density-wise) are now all air and flavorless.


Also Kashi .
 
2014-05-14 08:08:07 PM  

Munchkin City Coroner: [media.heavy.com image 500x355]

GET IN MY BELLY!


I found a picture of you.
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 08:18:25 PM  
I'm sure the cost has increases have nothing to do with this
 
2014-05-14 08:26:14 PM  

steklo: [img.fark.net image 434x600]


Holy crap, the woman looks like she poisoned that food and is so excited that those little shiatmonsters are finally going to get theirs
 
2014-05-14 08:29:11 PM  

NateAsbestos: Holy crap, the woman looks like she poisoned that food and is so excited that those little shiatmonsters are finally going to get theirs


SHE HAS POISONED THE FOOD! CAN'T YOU SEE? IT'S FILLED UP WITH GLUTENS AND SUGAR, MAN! THOSE KIDS ARE DEAD!
 
2014-05-14 09:04:10 PM  
Ironically, cereals targeted towards kids are really the worst thing you can give to a kid for breakfast. Perhaps parents and teachers should factor this in as a reason kids crash and end up getting tired and get crappy grades before sending them to counselors and giving them pills. I understand parents want the quick easy breakfast so they can get their kids off to school, i myself grew up on cereal. But when I got overweight and took nutrition classes they really opened my eyes. And that yogurt shiat they mention in the article is crap too. I mean really, M&Ms in yogurt for breakfast? Scientific studies show that protein, good fats, and complex carbs are the best thing for breakfast since you won't crash, you will have energy throughout the day, and you won't get hungry near as fast. I myself don't have kids so maybe I have no room to talk, but if I did I would make an effort to avoid cereals for them for breakfasts as much as possible.
 
2014-05-14 09:08:46 PM  

MBooda: My wife eats cereal any time of the day except breakfast.  Me, only breakfast...any other time is heresy.  And I only eat the ultimate Lutheran breakfast, shredded wheat. Skim milk, no sugar. Maybe slice a banana on it.


Good luck with that when bananas go extinct.

In other news, I still like me some cereal. Any time of day or night. And I have to eat at least 2 bowls. No less.
 
2014-05-14 09:08:52 PM  

Gentoolive: Who the hell has time to eat breakfast.


People who wake up early. Like me. Breakfast is literally the only meal i refuse to skip, and 3/4 of the food in my house is breakfast related. But I suppose its not for everyone lol.
 
2014-05-14 09:14:13 PM  

Belias: Not a good source of protein?  Article has never heard of Kashi?


Yea kashi is fine if you like that soy protein crap. It's fine for women but as a man I'd rather have real protein. Meat.....meat....meat! I'd have to look it up but I heard that soy protein is somehow detrimental for men and beneficial for women. I could be wrong, but good old egg whites and protein shakes are still my breakfast of choice. Sometimes steak n eggs on weekends.
 
2014-05-14 09:14:45 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 09:36:26 PM  
What the HELL, this farticle is an advertisement.

*angrily smacks subby with small paw*
 
2014-05-14 09:47:11 PM  

Dirty J1: Gentoolive: Who the hell has time to eat breakfast.

People who wake up early. Like me. Breakfast is literally the only meal i refuse to skip, and 3/4 of the food in my house is breakfast related. But I suppose its not for everyone lol.


This. Up early, made from scratch and all dishes cleaned so they're ready to repeat the performance the next day. I go through eggs, spices, yogurt, coffee and top round cuts of beef like crazy. Most people who hear of my made-fresh-every-morning meals always threatens to come eat breakfast with me and they're more than welcome, I just need advance notice--and no one ever takes me up on it. Maybe the whole 5:30AM thing puts them off?

Cereal is blegh. I MIGHT eat it if I wanted to be craving food again at 9AM, but even then I can't get past the blandness and sugar-laden-ness. Went through a phase where breakfast included yogurt with Grape-nuts. I'd go back to that if I had to, but as long as I have the means to go a little protein- and fat-heavy, I'll refrain.
 
2014-05-14 09:47:57 PM  
I take a fist full of eggs over easy and punch myself in the gut with it.  Then I load up a shotgun with coffee beans and pull the trigger with my toe.  I rub my biscuits over a beehive and wash them down with bear milk.  I shave with a piece of broken glass, shower in a water fall and then put on some trousers made of live wolves.

still not as cool as y'alls powerman break-fastes

I BREAK FAST!
 
2014-05-14 09:57:53 PM  
Eggs, fried, over easy, with salsa.

Ultra strong tea.
 
2014-05-14 10:03:25 PM  
My usual breakfast (the real breakfast of champions!):

www.folgerscoffee.com

www.cigarettepurchase.com
 
2014-05-14 10:04:47 PM  

TwiztidDream: Dirty J1: Gentoolive: Who the hell has time to eat breakfast.

People who wake up early. Like me. Breakfast is literally the only meal i refuse to skip, and 3/4 of the food in my house is breakfast related. But I suppose its not for everyone lol.

This. Up early, made from scratch and all dishes cleaned so they're ready to repeat the performance the next day. I go through eggs, spices, yogurt, coffee and top round cuts of beef like crazy. Most people who hear of my made-fresh-every-morning meals always threatens to come eat breakfast with me and they're more than welcome, I just need advance notice--and no one ever takes me up on it. Maybe the whole 5:30AM thing puts them off?

Cereal is blegh. I MIGHT eat it if I wanted to be craving food again at 9AM, but even then I can't get past the blandness and sugar-laden-ness. Went through a phase where breakfast included yogurt with Grape-nuts. I'd go back to that if I had to, but as long as I have the means to go a little protein- and fat-heavy, I'll refrain.


Wow you go above and beyond lol. I still go with protein, mainly eggs, and oatmeal with some flax seed, berries, almonds, and protein powder. Bacon if I'm feeling like it. But I just do the dishes after work lol. I'm an early riser myself, just not that early. And cereal aint for me either unless as an after work snack or dinner if I'm really beat.
 
2014-05-14 10:34:04 PM  
When you work nights, breakfast kinda loses any meaning.
 
2014-05-14 10:45:39 PM  

steklo: and for those who are British...

[img.fark.net image 449x337]


Or living out a  Cool Hand Luke fantasy along a county macadam road somewhere in rural Kansas.
 
2014-05-14 10:48:06 PM  

kling_klang_bed: My usual breakfast (the real breakfast of champions!):

[www.folgerscoffee.com image 400x400]

[www.cigarettepurchase.com image 266x383]


Bonus points if you can heat up the water using a whiskey flask on the engine block of your pickup truck.
 
2014-05-14 10:48:41 PM  
Also, surprised nobody's mentioned this yet...

i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-14 11:06:28 PM  
Back in the day, when cereal was cereal...

i.walmartimages.com

/this is back on the shelves actually(probably temporarily), picked up 2 boxes the other day
 
2014-05-14 11:26:53 PM  

theorellior: Pokey.Clyde: So eggs are considered dairy now? Funny, I guess I missed the news story where they discovered cows that lay eggs.

Hmmm, I guess we have here one of those rare people who haven't heard of the term "dairy aisle" before.


Call it whatever you want, sparky. Doesn't make you right.

/go find a bicycle thread to troll and/or otherwise STFU
 
2014-05-14 11:29:01 PM  

NakedDrummer: It is. Quit eating 6 carbo loaded meals a day you won't spend all day on a crash and spike sugar rush.


No it isn't. Of course, I don't expect intelligent conversation from a damn drummer.
 
2014-05-14 11:40:31 PM  

Pokey.Clyde: NakedDrummer: It is. Quit eating 6 carbo loaded meals a day you won't spend all day on a crash and spike sugar rush.

No it isn't. Of course, I don't expect intelligent conversation from a damn drummer.


Not just a drummer, a naked one. If you can't skip breakfast without crashing into the ground your diet plan sucks. Wtf, you play skin flute or something? Quit being a Monsanto lackey.
 
2014-05-15 12:08:55 AM  

kling_klang_bed: My usual breakfast (the real breakfast of champions!):


Instant coffee is better than nothing, but not quite as good as actual coffee. I keep a box of that stuff at work in case of boneheads forgetting to re-order coffee packets.

I think cereal persists because it's extremely simple and fast. Doing actual cooking takes a lot more time than pouring cereal into a bowl and pouring milk on the cereal. If I had to make a non-cereal breakfast, I'd have to get up even earlier than 6am, which would be really annoying. So I just buy cereal that doesn't have a ton of sugar in it. That's worked for me for the last 20ish years. Note that YMMV and EPID.
 
2014-05-15 12:23:43 AM  

danceswithcrows: kling_klang_bed: My usual breakfast (the real breakfast of champions!):

Instant coffee is better than nothing, but not quite as good as actual coffee. I keep a box of that stuff at work in case of boneheads forgetting to re-order coffee packets.

I think cereal persists because it's extremely simple and fast. Doing actual cooking takes a lot more time than pouring cereal into a bowl and pouring milk on the cereal. If I had to make a non-cereal breakfast, I'd have to get up even earlier than 6am, which would be really annoying. So I just buy cereal that doesn't have a ton of sugar in it. That's worked for me for the last 20ish years. Note that YMMV and EPID.


Same here. I tend to stick with whole grain cereals with little sugar and tons of fiber. Which makes for some epic and thunderous dumps!
 
2014-05-15 01:24:34 AM  
They can't get rid of breakfast cereal.  It would mean the end of...

img.fark.net
 
2014-05-15 02:01:39 AM  
Well I woke up this morning,
I got myself a beer
 
2014-05-15 07:29:15 AM  

sniderman: SuperChuck: I miss Alpha-Bits

You don't have to.

http://www.postfoods.com/our-brands/alpha-bits/

/Back on store shelves.


Not my store ;{
 
2014-05-15 09:26:52 AM  
Yeah, most cereal isn't all that good for you and serving size is typically something like 3/4 cup, 2/3 cup for granola cereal.  Nobody, and I mean nobody, eats that small of an amount.  Quick and convenient?  Sure, but after your blood sugar spikes and then crashes you'll be hungry again in an hour or two.

Also, cereal, like all high carb foods, seems to turn on the binge eating signals in your brain.  I can easily eat two or three bowls of cereal, whereas an omelette or a hard boiled egg or a steak is satisfying all on its own.

Cereal is basically the same thing as chips, crackers and cookies yet most people would consider that kind of breakfast unhealthy.  The difference: marketing.
 
2014-05-15 09:27:50 AM  

Pokey.Clyde: /go find a bicycle thread to troll and/or otherwise STFU


D'awwwww, sorry I poked at you in a bike thread. It's all good. I just found it amusing that you'd been buying eggs and cheese in the dairy aisle of the supermarket and never noticed it.
 
2014-05-15 09:35:15 AM  

dbrunker: They can't get rid of breakfast cereal.  It would mean the end of...

[img.fark.net image 500x291]


Good.  It's overrated and overpriced, and all their good gimmicks are gone since they're trying to be family friendly and not 24/7 now.

/fark Oregon
//Though, my record for number of donuts hanging from my cock is 8, set at the Burnside store.
 
2014-05-15 09:37:42 AM  

AllUpInYa: ashinmytomatoes: It doesn't take long to fry an egg. My favorite way to eat it is with toast, avocado, and salsa. You can also get those Jimmy Dean Delite sandwiches that have egg white and turkey sausage. They are actually pretty good and filling. Cereal does not fill me up. Forget 11. I'm hungry by 10 if I eat cereal, though mixing it with the higher-protein, plain, real Greek yogurt does help, it is still not as filling as eggs.

/Still get to work for 8
//Yes, I have to get up early.

but unless you eat the whole avocado, you end up throwing the rest away, after it discolors


True enough. I usually use 1/2, douse the other half in lemon juice to use the next day. Lemon juice does help prevent the avocado from browning but that is, indeed, an issue.
 
2014-05-15 09:39:09 AM  

Tomfoolery Rules Over Logical Living: ashinmytomatoes: It doesn't take long to fry an egg. My favorite way to eat it is with toast, avocado, and salsa. You can also get those Jimmy Dean Delite sandwiches that have egg white and turkey sausage. They are actually pretty good and filling. Cereal does not fill me up. Forget 11. I'm hungry by 10 if I eat cereal, though mixing it with the higher-protein, plain, real Greek yogurt does help, it is still not as filling as eggs.

Randy Taylor. I don't know where you people come from. I don't know if you test your products. Your quantity of your products. Your products are very delicious. Love your sausage for thirty something years. But I can't take and feed a family of five on a little twelve ounce roll of sausage. I don't mind paying more money for your sixteen ounce roll of sausage, but you don't have it anymore. You've got a twelve ounce roll and you've got three men that weigh over two-hundred pounds a piece, a woman that's a little plump Scotch girl, and a daughter who's thirteen, and you're going to try to take a twelve ounce roll of sausage and a couple of dozen eggs and feed that - it ain't going to work - and I'm not going to purchase your product any more or ever again. And as far as your sixteen ounce Maple and Sage, I don't eat that. I'm not from the North. I'm a Texas man. Jimmy Dean Sausage is for Southern people to eat with their breakfast, with their fried eggs and their t-bone steak, and I can't see going to little twelve ounce package to feed four five six people and I'm not going to buy two of those twelve ounce packages just because you want to downsize and charge the same goddamn price. I'd sure like a reply and I'd sure like you to go back to your sixteen ounce package on your regular sausage 'cause I'm not going to buy it otherwise ever again. I'll just have my own damn sausage made like I used to thirty something years ago. It's not tasty as yours is but it'll work. Good bye. A little twelve ounce goddamn roll of sausage supposed to feed ...


Ha! I guess I'm not a proper Southerner as the "Delite" sandwiches are the only JD product I eat.

Caitlin
 
2014-05-15 09:43:40 AM  
Well, I'm having a breakfast taco right now, so I'm getting a kick outta these replies, etc.
 
2014-05-15 10:14:34 AM  

Sin_City_Superhero: [www.budgetsavvydiva.com image 379x280]

Double order of hash browns scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, diced and topped, please.


scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, capped, and 2 overmedium eggs, which i immediately slide on top of the hashbrowns and mix in

don't forget the wheat toast
 
2014-05-15 06:27:45 PM  

theorellior: NateAsbestos: Holy crap, the woman looks like she poisoned that food and is so excited that those little shiatmonsters are finally going to get theirs

SHE HAS POISONED THE FOOD! CAN'T YOU SEE? IT'S FILLED UP WITH GLUTENS AND SUGAR, MAN! THOSE KIDS ARE DEAD!


I bet it's full of GMOs too. They're so boned.
 
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