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(The Awl)   Cereal: It's not what's for breakfast anymore   (theawl.com) divider line 155
    More: Sad, Kellogg Co., Froot Loops, frosted flakes, vegetarian food, breakfast  
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12222 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2014 at 4:40 PM (14 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



155 Comments   (+0 »)
   
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2014-05-14 02:36:21 PM
I'm partial to hummus, fresh fruit and good strong coffee.
 
2014-05-14 04:05:06 PM
Bratwurst and eggs with Bulletproof Coffee.
 
2014-05-14 04:43:33 PM
Sausage egg waffle.

None of that Masturbation Prevention for me.
 
2014-05-14 04:43:35 PM
leftover pizza.
 
2014-05-14 04:44:00 PM
Because it SUCKS anymore. Cereals that once filled you up (density-wise) are now all air and flavorless.
 
2014-05-14 04:44:12 PM
Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

I'll have eggs and coffee... thanks...
 
2014-05-14 04:44:40 PM
Plain ol' Cheerios for me usually.

/maybe frosted mini wheats every now and then
//or cap'n crunch peanut butter crunch
 
2014-05-14 04:45:07 PM

CeroX: Because unless your you're younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

I'll have eggs and coffee... thanks...


FTFM
 
2014-05-14 04:45:30 PM
I think this guy would disagree with said article:
i1.kym-cdn.com
 
2014-05-14 04:45:35 PM
Who the fark can eat before noon on an empty stomach?

/Brunch ftw.
 
2014-05-14 04:45:57 PM
Eggs, bacon, cheese, salsa. Coffee - in a separate container, of course.

Also, having read the article, they're right on. Cereal definitely needs a change.
 
2014-05-14 04:47:13 PM

ecmoRandomNumbers: Bratwurst and eggs with Bulletproof Coffee.


I like the cut of your jib.
 
2014-05-14 04:47:25 PM
If you plan to eat any heart-clogging and wonderful pork products, first thing in the morning is the time to do it.
 
2014-05-14 04:47:26 PM

mama2tnt: Who the fark can eat before noon on an empty stomach?


My guess is almost anyone, considering their stomach is empty.
 
2014-05-14 04:47:32 PM
I hadn't needed cereal since i moved 3 months ago, the new store's cereal aisle was 1/4th of the aisle with the rest being coffee, tea, granola, cocoa, and power bars.
I grabbed my Kashi and ran...
 
2014-05-14 04:47:44 PM
Who gets up before noon anyway?  And who doesn't go to bed by 5 am?
 
2014-05-14 04:47:51 PM
media.heavy.com

GET IN MY BELLY!
 
2014-05-14 04:48:08 PM

mama2tnt: Who the fark can eat before noon on an empty stomach?

/Brunch ftw.


Yes, cereal real is only suitable for the servile classes. If I'm up before 10am something is wrong.
 
2014-05-14 04:48:21 PM
My wife eats cereal any time of the day except breakfast.  Me, only breakfast...any other time is heresy.  And I only eat the ultimate Lutheran breakfast, shredded wheat. Skim milk, no sugar. Maybe slice a banana on it.
 
2014-05-14 04:48:34 PM
There is some powerful smug resonating off of that article.
 
2014-05-14 04:49:41 PM
From the comments:

www.theawl.com barnhouse (#1,326)

Pot legalization likely to reverse this trend.
Posted on May 14, 2014 at 9:47 am
Reply » 1
 
2014-05-14 04:49:44 PM
As for me, swiss cheese on rye toast, buttered or dijonned.
 
2014-05-14 04:50:19 PM

Munchkin City Coroner: [media.heavy.com image 500x355]

GET IN MY BELLY!


That's one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen.
 
2014-05-14 04:50:37 PM

MBooda: And I only eat the ultimate Lutheran breakfast, shredded wheat. Skim milk, no sugar. Maybe slice a banana on it.


Methodist.
 
2014-05-14 04:51:37 PM

CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...


Right, because there are no cereals out there that aren't loaded with sugar. Hell, the sweetest cereal I've ever eaten is Raisin Bran. I can't stand sugary cereals.

/and if you are so genetically inferior that you can't digest milk properly....well, sucks to be you
 
2014-05-14 04:51:51 PM

Fark like a Barsoomian: Munchkin City Coroner: [media.heavy.com image 500x355]

GET IN MY BELLY!

That's one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen.


Deliciously Distrubing
 
2014-05-14 04:53:05 PM
It doesn't take long to fry an egg. My favorite way to eat it is with toast, avocado, and salsa. You can also get those Jimmy Dean Delite sandwiches that have egg white and turkey sausage. They are actually pretty good and filling. Cereal does not fill me up. Forget 11. I'm hungry by 10 if I eat cereal, though mixing it with the higher-protein, plain, real Greek yogurt does help, it is still not as filling as eggs.

/Still get to work for 8
//Yes, I have to get up early.
 
2014-05-14 04:53:20 PM

Fark like a Barsoomian: Munchkin City Coroner: [media.heavy.com image 500x355]

GET IN MY BELLY!

That's one of the most disturbing things I've ever seen.


Please splain.
 
2014-05-14 04:53:41 PM
Work day:  oatmeal at desk
Weekend (my place):  cereal (not chocolate frosted sugar bombs)
Weekend (her place):  probably egg sammiches (I cook)

Occasional dinner:  cereal (still no sugar bombs)
 
2014-05-14 04:55:05 PM
Good. Cereal is a terrible thing to eat for breakfast with a couple of exceptions, one of them being Grape Nuts.
 
2014-05-14 04:56:13 PM

Pokey.Clyde: CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

Right, because there are no cereals out there that aren't loaded with sugar. Hell, the sweetest cereal I've ever eaten is Raisin Bran. I can't stand sugary cereals.

/and if you are so genetically inferior that you can't digest milk properly....well, sucks to be you


Protip: Carbs turn to sugar... and milk, while delicious, should only be used in cooking and coffee...
 
2014-05-14 04:56:27 PM
Says who? Hipsters?

/dnrtfa
 
2014-05-14 04:56:44 PM
Agree with article. Cereal is what I eat at midnight, with almond milk. My current favs:

Kashi Berry Fruitful
Kashi oat flakes w/blueberry
Kashi raisin vineyard (you sensing a theme here?)
Trader Joe's Maple Pecan (not particularly healthy but tasty)
 
2014-05-14 04:57:01 PM
I'll take a coffee, banana, and STFU
 
2014-05-14 04:57:45 PM

jigger: Good. Cereal is a terrible thing to eat for breakfast with a couple of exceptions, one of them being Grape Nuts.


I'm gonna grape you in the mouth?
 
2014-05-14 05:00:02 PM

tarheel07: I'll take a coffee, banana, and STFU


That is exactly my breakfast if I overate at dinner the night before or something.
 
2014-05-14 05:01:04 PM
The problem with breakfast is it starts way too early.
 
2014-05-14 05:01:21 PM
1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-14 05:02:22 PM
Not a good source of protein?  Article has never heard of Kashi?
 
2014-05-14 05:04:00 PM
At the bottom of the article page:

More From The Awl
[steakpic.jp]
farking Steak And How To Cook It

Well, then. That's just disgusting.
 
2014-05-14 05:06:02 PM
Eggs cooked in good butter, bacon, and coffee.

Or if I'm in a hurry, the bulletproof coffee does the trick until noonish.
 
2014-05-14 05:06:18 PM
beer
 
2014-05-14 05:06:22 PM

CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

I'll have eggs and coffee... thanks...


You apparently have something called "milk farts" but no such symptoms from eggs?

I'm sorry you're incapable of recognizing any cereals beyond Fruity Pebbles.
 
2014-05-14 05:07:15 PM
A smurf berry shortage was documented on Robot Chicken   http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Grc2VMHNrH4
 
2014-05-14 05:07:47 PM

smd31: Plain ol' Cheerios for me usually.

/maybe frosted mini wheats every now and then
//or cap'n crunch peanut butter crunch


Good Lord, I read that as "plain ol' Cheetos" and got this mental image:

cdn.myfaithradio.com

Meh, I'd try it.

But, like you said, just the plain ones.  A bowl of Flamin' Hot Cheetos seems like more of a lunch item.
 
2014-05-14 05:08:05 PM
For breakfast today I had a bowl of left over Irish stew. Yesterday was this lobster and sherry and cream of celery concoction over rice. Tommorow it will be bratwurst.
 
2014-05-14 05:11:11 PM
Who the hell has time to eat breakfast.
 
2014-05-14 05:15:20 PM

CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

I'll have eggs and coffee... thanks...


New keyboard.  You owe me one.
 
2014-05-14 05:15:52 PM

CeroX: Pokey.Clyde: CeroX: Because unless your younger than 12, who the fark wants to load up on sugar first thing in the morning only to crash out at 11am followed by an afternoon of milk farts...

Right, because there are no cereals out there that aren't loaded with sugar. Hell, the sweetest cereal I've ever eaten is Raisin Bran. I can't stand sugary cereals.

/and if you are so genetically inferior that you can't digest milk properly....well, sucks to be you

Protip: Carbs turn to sugar... and milk, while delicious, should only be used in cooking and coffee...


Pussy.
 
2014-05-14 05:16:02 PM
Goddamn, that is Not News even for Fark.
 
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