If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Guardian)   Latest Grace Kelly biopic "is a film so awe-inspiringly wooden that it is basically a fire-risk"   (theguardian.com) divider line 39
    More: Followup, Cannes, biopic  
•       •       •

1713 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 May 2014 at 2:39 PM (18 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



39 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-14 01:50:51 PM
now that's a bad review!
 
2014-05-14 01:58:36 PM
"... sacrificing her movie career on the altar of this cockamamie Ruritanian state, and flaunting her martyred couture loveliness, win the respect of the Monégasque folk and even the grumpy old Général himself?"

 COUGH
 
2014-05-14 02:10:39 PM
"A fleet of ambulances may have to be stationed outside the Palais to take tuxed audiences to hospital afterwards to have their toes uncurled under general anaesthetic."

Hey-Hey! Mr. Cranky movie reviews is back!
 
2014-05-14 02:29:22 PM

killerbee: "... sacrificing her movie career on the altar of this cockamamie Ruritanian state, and flaunting her martyred couture loveliness, win the respect of the Monégasque folk and even the grumpy old Général himself?"

 COUGH


Holy word salad, Batman.  With arugula, even.
 
2014-05-14 02:59:25 PM
iv1.lisimg.com
Inspiring wood
 
2014-05-14 03:02:07 PM
mee YOW.
 
2014-05-14 03:05:37 PM
"A fleet of ambulances may have to be stationed outside the Palais to take tuxed audiences to hospital afterwards to have their toes uncurled under general anaesthetic."

It seemed like it might have been cleverly cranky but this crack was DOA.  Where I'm from toe-curling suggests an orgasmic experience.   That attempt at humorous metaphor was almost CP-sean in its gross ineptitude.

Dorothy Parker just posthumously vomited.
 
2014-05-14 03:10:20 PM

devilEther: [iv1.lisimg.com image 400x500]
Inspiring wood


I would grace her Monaco, if you catch my drift
 
2014-05-14 03:29:36 PM
I wish I can remember what comedian said that Nicole can't show any emotion because of botox.
 
2014-05-14 03:48:34 PM

devilEther: Inspiring wood


And you had a shot back in the day.
 
2014-05-14 04:06:21 PM
Can someone post the animated Kelso pointing a the word BURN! Mobile site and all.
 
2014-05-14 04:20:35 PM

killerbee: "... sacrificing her movie career on the altar of this cockamamie Ruritanian state, and flaunting her martyred couture loveliness, win the respect of the Monégasque folk and even the grumpy old Général himself?"

 COUGH


www.hollywoodreporter.com
 
2014-05-14 04:39:22 PM
"Do you want a leg or a breast?"


4.bp.blogspot.com


www.theprodigalguide.com


1.bp.blogspot.com


1.bp.blogspot.com
 
2014-05-14 04:43:50 PM

FlashHarry: now that's a bad review!


Every now and then, the English like to remind you that you're speaking their language. And they can outbiatch you with it.
 
2014-05-14 04:55:18 PM
She was one of the most lovely women who have ever lived.

That being said, the base of people who even know who she was is rapidly dwindling.
 
2014-05-14 05:18:59 PM
img.fark.net

I'd open her rear window, if you know what I mean.
 
2014-05-14 05:32:59 PM
Who thought casting Miss Plastic Disasterface was a good idea? It's a Grace Kelly biopic for farks sake. You need a classic beauty who floats instead of walks.
 
2014-05-14 05:38:48 PM
If you have something to say about Grace Kelly do it with a documentary or a cartoon.

image.glamourdaze.com
 
2014-05-14 05:49:35 PM

Nina_Hartley's_Ass: If you have something to say about Grace Kelly do it with a documentary or a cartoon.


damn.
 
2014-05-14 06:06:08 PM
It makes me happy that the most beautiful woman who ever lived pretty much said 'yes' to anyone who asked.

It makes me sad that I was born too late to take advantage of it
 
2014-05-14 06:12:11 PM
 "You know I would never interrupt you when you're getting a piece of wood..."
criticalmassesmedia.com
 
2014-05-14 06:14:20 PM
It's funny, my mom used to say, years ago, when she would watch interviews, that "Nicole Kidman sure wants to be Grace Kelly" (all the plastic surgeries and the way she acts during interviews gave my mom that total impression).

Now, it looks like she got her wish (sort of)

//csb
 
2014-05-14 06:37:54 PM

RoyHobbs22: devilEther: [iv1.lisimg.com image 400x500]
Inspiring wood

I would grace her Monaco, if you catch my drift


I'd meet her on the Main Line and catch her on the rebound.
 
2014-05-14 06:58:31 PM

OtherLittleGuy: RoyHobbs22: devilEther: [iv1.lisimg.com image 400x500]
Inspiring wood

I would grace her Monaco, if you catch my drift

I'd meet her on the Main Line and catch her on the rebound.


I'd wreck her car during a stroke.

/too soon?
 
2014-05-14 08:23:17 PM
For some reason I read that as Grace Jones and thought "Someone made a biopic about Grace Jones?"
 
2014-05-14 08:30:59 PM
I'm not sure about the movie, but the idea of Grace Kelly and Nicole Kidman on top of each other is inspiring awe-like wood.
 
2014-05-14 08:33:10 PM
HuffPo has snippets of many of the bad reviews:

"The 'Shrek' movies deconstruct fairy tale conventions with much more depth and wit than this dreary parade of lifeless celebrity waxworks." -- Stephen Dalton, The Hollywood Reporter

If [Dahan] instructed [Kidman] at all, it was with sporadic, barking interjections from the spoken-word breakdown of 'Vogue.'" -- Guy Lodge, HitFix

"Handsomely produced but as dramatically inert as star Nicole Kidman's frigid cheek muscles, Dahan's strained bid to recapture the critical and commercial success of his smash Edith Piaf biopic 'La Vie en rose' is the sort of misbegotten venture no amount of clever re-editing could hope to improve." -- Scott Foundas, Variety

More
 
2014-05-14 09:02:09 PM

SpdrJay: She was one of the most lovely women who have ever lived.

That being said, the base of people who even know who she was is rapidly dwindling.


She was beautiful but only moderately talented.
 
2014-05-14 11:34:08 PM

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: SpdrJay: She was one of the most lovely women who have ever lived.

That being said, the base of people who even know who she was is rapidly dwindling.

She was beautiful but only moderately talented.



At acting, maybe. Her true talents turned her into royalty.
 
2014-05-14 11:44:17 PM

Scorpitron is reduced to a thin red paste: SpdrJay: She was one of the most lovely women who have ever lived.

That being said, the base of people who even know who she was is rapidly dwindling.

She was beautiful but only moderately talented.


You should have just stopped there.
 
2014-05-15 01:18:44 AM

degenerate-afro: For some reason I read that as Grace Jones and thought "Someone made a biopic about Grace Jones?"


I'm trying to imagine Grace Jones playing Grace Kelly, what's the equivalent of CTRL-ALT-DEL for the brain?
 
2014-05-15 01:26:33 AM

Trail of Dead: Who thought casting Miss Plastic Disasterface was a good idea? It's a Grace Kelly biopic for farks sake. You need a classic beauty who floats instead of walks.


What once was...

www.wearysloth.com

nd05.jxs.cz

www.dinkumaussies.com
 
2014-05-15 02:45:45 AM
Grace Kelly was a dirty slut. Probably had syphilis. Whore.
 
2014-05-15 06:49:28 AM

degenerate-afro: For some reason I read that as Grace Jones and thought "Someone made a biopic about Grace Jones?"


That's actually a biopic I would see.    Studio 54, Jean-Paul Goode, Warm Leatherettes and mountains of cocaine.
 
2014-05-15 06:56:29 AM

Trail of Dead: Who thought casting Miss Plastic Disasterface was a good idea? It's a Grace Kelly biopic for farks sake. You need a classic beauty who floats instead of walks.


Charlize Theron would have been perfect.  Then again, she has better taste in scripts.
 
2014-05-15 08:34:57 AM

elvindeath: ...inspiring awe-like wood.


img.fark.net

What an inspiring Wood looks like.
 
2014-05-15 08:56:49 AM
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-15 05:28:07 PM
I read the headline as Grace Slick and wondered how somebody could make a boring movie about her life.
 
2014-05-15 06:35:28 PM

Trail of Dead: Who thought casting Miss Plastic Disasterface was a good idea? It's a Grace Kelly biopic for farks sake. You need a classic beauty who floats instead of walks.


That's the main problem. Doing biopics of Grace Kelly, Vivien Leigh, Elizabeth Taylor- there just isn't any modern equivalent. Those women were devastatingly gorgeous, charismatic, intelligent, playful, and they actually had TALENT. We live in fake boob world now.
 
Displayed 39 of 39 comments

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report