If you can read this, either the style sheet didn't load or you have an older browser that doesn't support style sheets. Try clearing your browser cache and refreshing the page.

(Daily Star)   I dare you to read this article and prove it was written in English. Show your work   (dailystar.co.uk) divider line 65
    More: Amusing, Kate Moss, kate, English, South East London, Little Britain  
•       •       •

5197 clicks; posted to Entertainment » on 14 May 2014 at 9:10 AM (20 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



65 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all
 
2014-05-14 08:22:39 AM
Subby fails to see the connection between the words "English" and "England".
 
2014-05-14 08:26:58 AM
But Smunky tweeted: "What a stuck up little madam she's revealing herself to be."

"to be" is clearly an English phrase. Dunno about the rest of it.
 
2014-05-14 08:28:38 AM
I love the modern news age, where articles and tv can be supplemented with tweets. I try to imagine Walter Cronkite tearing up after Kennedy was shot, then reading a tweet from Kruschev "BOOM! Headshot! #Kennedy #Order of Lenin" or something.
 
2014-05-14 08:38:09 AM
Seemed English enough to me. Highly vapid, but English.
 
2014-05-14 09:08:50 AM
It's actually entirely English, as written by the British, the inventors of English.
 
2014-05-14 09:13:09 AM
Yo dog I heard you like chavs.....
 
2014-05-14 09:16:58 AM

doglover: But Smunky tweeted: "What a stuck up little madam she's revealing herself to be."

"to be" is clearly an English phrase. Dunno about the rest of it.


"Or not ..." that was the question. Whether it's nobler in the mind to suffer the slangs and errors of outrageous grammar, or to take arms against a sea of mumbles, and by opposing, end them
 
2014-05-14 09:17:20 AM
I think the real question is how does a 40 year old have a 16 year old sister?
 
2014-05-14 09:21:47 AM
i had no trouble reading any of that article. i wish i hadn't read the article, as it was a waste of 30 seconds, but then again, i'm commenting on fark about the waste-of-time article i just read

init grand?
 
2014-05-14 09:22:20 AM
yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah but no but yeah....
 
2014-05-14 09:23:28 AM
I hate the Cavs too!
 
2014-05-14 09:24:45 AM

naughtyrev: I love the modern news age, where articles and tv can be supplemented with tweets. I try to imagine Walter Cronkite tearing up after Kennedy was shot, then reading a tweet from Kruschev "BOOM! Headshot! #Kennedy #Order of Lenin" or something.


Or Eisenhower, "Hitler actually thought Patton was going to invade LOL #Overlord #Hitlerisstupid"
 
2014-05-14 09:26:28 AM
Hmm, I need to add "Little Britian" to my Netflix Queue...I miss that show!
 
2014-05-14 09:28:37 AM
the Fabian Society political think-tank

This exists, and they're studying the chavs. If Ed Miliband can mobilise the Fabian vote, he'll be ushering in the socialist revolution in no time.

Subby just batty, innit.
 
2014-05-14 09:29:57 AM
I think there needs to be a "Chav" tag now.
 
2014-05-14 09:30:06 AM

wildstarr: I think the real question is how does a 40 year old have a 16 year old sister?


actually that's not uncommon, likely the younger sibling is a half-sibling, the result of one parent having a baby with another significant other. typically in such cases it's the father hooking up with a younger-than-his-wife woman, since a man can usually be fertile his whole life, whereas a woman goes thru menopause usually around 50something.

why am i explaining this to someone i assume is an adult?

what, do you live under a rock?
 
2014-05-14 09:31:28 AM
Took a butchers at the Jackanory on the way to my mickey, said hello to the trouble, found me way up the apples, put on me whistle and the bloody dog went.
 
2014-05-14 09:33:47 AM
i291.photobucket.com

Speak English to me, Tony. I thought this country spawned the farking language, and so far nobody seems to speak it.
 
2014-05-14 09:35:34 AM
What is a chav?
 
2014-05-14 09:35:38 AM
Two nations separated by a common language.
 
2014-05-14 09:41:50 AM

bungle_jr: wildstarr: I think the real question is how does a 40 year old have a 16 year old sister?

actually that's not uncommon, likely the younger sibling is a half-sibling, the result of one parent having a baby with another significant other. typically in such cases it's the father hooking up with a younger-than-his-wife woman, since a man can usually be fertile his whole life, whereas a woman goes thru menopause usually around 50something.


Or if she had the first kid at 19 and the other at 43. Seems perfectly reasonable to me. I have a friend who's brother is 29 years older than him.
 
2014-05-14 09:41:51 AM

TheMaskedArmadillo: What is a chav?


It's like a yute.  Just spelled differently.
 
2014-05-14 09:45:25 AM

bungle_jr: wildstarr: I think the real question is how does a 40 year old have a 16 year old sister?

actually that's not uncommon, likely the younger sibling is a half-sibling, the result of one parent having a baby with another significant other. typically in such cases it's the father hooking up with a younger-than-his-wife woman, since a man can usually be fertile his whole life, whereas a woman goes thru menopause usually around 50something.

why am i explaining this to someone i assume is an adult?

what, do you live under a rock?


Also, Kate has a daughter who will be 14 yrs old in September. Lila Grace is also gorgeous, I think she looks like Kate's half-sister.
Nice she just calls her her sister tho.
 
2014-05-14 09:47:23 AM

TheMaskedArmadillo: What is a chav?


It's a slang term for "I can't use Google and read the first hit on Wikipedia."
 
2014-05-14 09:48:22 AM

gopher321: Subby fails to see the connection between the words "English" and "England".


either way, HST would not be proud of this journalistic effort.
 
2014-05-14 09:49:21 AM

bikerbob59: TheMaskedArmadillo: What is a chav?

It's like a yute.  Just spelled differently.


What is a yute?
 
2014-05-14 09:52:07 AM

TheMaskedArmadillo: What is a chav?


They things they counted during the Gore/Bush Election....hanging chavs
 
2014-05-14 09:57:08 AM

Ghost Roach: doglover: But Smunky tweeted: "What a stuck up little madam she's revealing herself to be."

"to be" is clearly an English phrase. Dunno about the rest of it.

"Or not ..." that was the question. Whether it's nobler in the mind to suffer the slangs and errors of outrageous grammar, or to take arms against a sea of mumbles, and by opposing, end them


why did I read "slangs" in a deep southern accent lasting at least three seconds vis-a-vis Dixie Carter from Designing Women?

//has lived in Atlanta too long
 
2014-05-14 09:58:16 AM
Can't Fark install a filter to let us hide any headlines or articles that use weird British slang, articles that only have meaning to British Fark users and no one else?  Outside on England, it's gibberish and irrelevant.  Everyone knows what a "truck " is, not a lorry.  "Queue your lorries with a chav and pasties and nappies, Doctor Who."  WTF?  Shut your gob, you tit.
 
2014-05-14 10:01:06 AM

dajoro: Can't Fark install a filter to let us hide any headlines or articles that use weird British slang, articles that only have meaning to British Fark users and no one else?  Outside on England, it's gibberish and irrelevant.  Everyone knows what a "truck " is, not a lorry.  "Queue your lorries with a chav and pasties and nappies, Doctor Who."  WTF?  Shut your gob, you tit.


Wow...Who woke up on the wrong side of the Atlantic this morning?
 
2014-05-14 10:01:33 AM

naughtyrev: I love the modern news age, where articles and tv can be supplemented with tweets. I try to imagine Walter Cronkite tearing up after Kennedy was shot, then reading a tweet from Kruschev "BOOM! Headshot! #Kennedy #Order of Lenin" or something.


Err, I guess you never heard of "vox pops" which have been used to do the same thing for TV news pretty much since TV news began, it is just twitter and so on are faster and cheaper than sending a guy out on the street to find out what the "man on the street" thinks about whatever is in the news.
 
2014-05-14 10:04:51 AM

TheMaskedArmadillo: dajoro: Can't Fark install a filter to let us hide any headlines or articles that use weird British slang, articles that only have meaning to British Fark users and no one else?  Outside on England, it's gibberish and irrelevant.  Everyone knows what a "truck " is, not a lorry.  "Queue your lorries with a chav and pasties and nappies, Doctor Who."  WTF?  Shut your gob, you tit.

Wow...Who woke up on the wrong side of the Atlantic this morning?


Check the mirror.
 
2014-05-14 10:08:46 AM
Am I bovah'd?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGNTI9tu1Oo

/I ain't bovah'd
 
2014-05-14 10:13:33 AM

dajoro: Can't Fark install a filter to let us hide any headlines or articles that use weird British slang, articles that only have meaning to British Fark users and no one else?  Outside on England, it's gibberish and irrelevant.  Everyone knows what a "truck " is, not a lorry.  "Queue your lorries with a chav and pasties and nappies, Doctor Who."  WTF?  Shut your gob, you tit.


Yes, because American English makes so much more sense.
 
2014-05-14 10:17:20 AM

TheMaskedArmadillo: bikerbob59: TheMaskedArmadillo: What is a chav?

It's like a yute.  Just spelled differently.

What is a yute?


natsukashi.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-14 10:17:51 AM
Subby, it was English English.
 
2014-05-14 10:20:16 AM
That's a real stretch, subby. If you don't know what a chav is by now, just give up.

I did think the point though is that everyone hates chavs for being chavs. It's not exactly a controversial position.
 
2014-05-14 10:27:39 AM

jaylectricity: It's actually entirely English, as written by the British, the inventors of English.


Avi.jpg
 
2014-05-14 10:29:42 AM

Khellendros: dajoro: Can't Fark install a filter to let us hide any headlines or articles that use weird British slang, articles that only have meaning to British Fark users and no one else?  Outside on England, it's gibberish and irrelevant.  Everyone knows what a "truck " is, not a lorry.  "Queue your lorries with a chav and pasties and nappies, Doctor Who."  WTF?  Shut your gob, you tit.

Yes, because American English makes so much more sense.


Dear Limeys:

There are more of us than there are of you, so we set the rules for common usage of English. Thanks, Ta.

PS: Don't tell the Indians about this arrangement
 
2014-05-14 10:34:12 AM

1. Put snakes on plane: That's a real stretch, subby. If you don't know what a chav is by now, just give up.

I did think the point though is that everyone hates chavs for being chavs. It's not exactly a controversial position.


yeah, chav is probably the only word in the whole article that MIGHT trip up an american english speaker, but chav is a fairly common word in british stuff people watch...unless all you watch is downton abbey, because i doubt that word was around in ye olden tymes

swaxhog: Took a butchers at the Jackanory on the way to my mickey, said hello to the trouble, found me way up the apples, put on me whistle and the bloody dog went.


THIS is the english english that i would expect american english speakers to not understand...i certainly don't understand.

i MAY have a slightly upperhand bias on reading/understanding britishisms, as my english-speaking cable channels while stationed in germany were mostly direct from the uk...bbc channels, mtv-europe - uk version, sky1, sky news, and other sky channels (owned by rupert murdoch, who also has fox...sky1 showed tons of simpsons), etc
 
2014-05-14 10:37:34 AM

Kerr Avon: TheMaskedArmadillo: What is a chav?

It's a slang term for "I can't use Google and read the first hit on Wikipedia."


No, this is a case for Urban Dictionary. Quick summary, Justin Beiber without money.
 
2014-05-14 10:40:53 AM
In other news: England has a culture that is independent of America, and often has its own internalized cultural and etymology developments that are entirely unrelated to the colonies and the language uses outside her borders. Which, is exactly what English as a language is good at.

English is a rugged language. It is a trade tongue, and finds use. It is elastic, it adopts words faster than Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie snatch up kids. This leads to dialects that are often specialized, and to develop on their own, depending on the cultures that are butted up against. Be that Normans, be that the Welsh, be that African workers brought in to work plantations on islands far from home, and their nominally pale "hosts." While Americans sought to make the language their own--going so far as to create dictionaries well neigh immediately to set down the changes that their own distance from Mother England had wrought, and set them into print to make them official--England herself has continued to use that language and it has found itself used fair heavily, and developed dialects that likewise specific to place and the cultures that have arose and butted up against one another as a bridge between them.

Do you REALLY want to run through the etymology of "chav" for realsies, because it's almost as if there's a whole Wikipedia entry on the subject, including the somewhat elusive "backronym" that wants to assert itself in typical English fashion to fit itself onto a pre-existing word. Council house and violent is the usual sort, despite the 19th century inclusion into a dictionary of English slang.

In short: the term is wonderfully English use of a foreign word in origin, and purposed to a suitably English use.
 
2014-05-14 10:48:42 AM
Frankly, after reading about chavs, I kind of hate them, too.
 
2014-05-14 11:09:40 AM

sidiguana: Frankly, after reading about chavs, I kind of hate them, too.


most folks seem to...even other chavs...

wildcardjack: Kerr Avon: TheMaskedArmadillo: What is a chav?

It's a slang term for "I can't use Google and read the first hit on Wikipedia."

No, this is a case for Urban Dictionary. Quick summary, Justin Beiber without money.


wow, that is quite true!
 
2014-05-14 11:11:16 AM
Too all the Chavs out there screaming "Class hared"
it isn't
It is a "lack of class" hatred.
 
2014-05-14 11:11:38 AM
But you're not supposed to begin a sentence with a conjunction.
 
2014-05-14 11:23:04 AM

jaylectricity: It's actually entirely English, as written by the British, the inventors of English.


Oh they lost the copyright on the English language a century ago.   Kind of awkward for them so don't point it out too much.
 
2014-05-14 11:34:38 AM
So Kate Moss is still a thing in the U.K., huh?

That's weird.

Are they still talking about Twiggy, too?
 
2014-05-14 11:35:48 AM

sidiguana: Frankly, after reading about chavs, I kind of hate them, too.


We have them in the midwest of the United States, too, but ours mutated... They put on face paint and became Juggalos.
 
2014-05-14 11:41:01 AM

1. Put snakes on plane: That's a real stretch, subby. If you don't know what a chav is by now, just give up.

I did think the point though is that everyone hates chavs for being chavs. It's not exactly a controversial position.


I thought everyone hates chavs, it is just everyones definition of chavs doesn't include themselves, even if almost everyone else's definition includes them.
 
Displayed 50 of 65 comments

First | « | 1 | 2 | » | Last | Show all

View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest


This thread is closed to new comments.

Continue Farking
Submit a Link »






Report