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(Daily Mail)   The Vikings are back after a 1,000 year hiatus, and Sweden just became the coolest country in the world in which to live. Meet the new Viking king   (dailymail.co.uk ) divider line
    More: Cool, Britain, Vikings, Sweden, north and east, Beer measurement  
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11890 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2014 at 10:45 AM (2 years ago)   |   Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



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2014-05-14 11:17:29 AM  
As a swede I thought of this.....

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DZOZqIJ7BQw
 
2014-05-14 11:18:11 AM  

LazyMedia: Ijustworkhere: So raping and pillaging are back in fashion?

RTFA. Raiding is banned. So these aren't Vikings, they're just medieval Norsemen, living off of rutabagas and dried cod. Kind of pathetic, really.


So much this. I got all excited, started planing my move to Sweden and then find out there's not going to be any pillaging. What's the point of being a Viking if you can't spill the blood of your enemies and take their gold and their women?
 
2014-05-14 11:28:56 AM  
i.dailymail.co.uk

At least now we know what Santa does in the off season
 
2014-05-14 11:30:06 AM  
Look Subby, I am excited about Barr and Bridgewater COULD be something. Bit early to suggest we are good to go...
 
2014-05-14 11:32:07 AM  

Smeggy Smurf: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

Once they realized they were running out of people after killing the women and raping the sheep.  Once they got that figured out their population expanded, they settled down and became traders.  Becaues dammit if you don't trade well then your kid isn't going to get the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip and your old lady isn't going to have sex with you anymore


This might have contributed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianization_of_scandinavia
 
2014-05-14 11:33:41 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: Smeggy Smurf: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

Once they realized they were running out of people after killing the women and raping the sheep.  Once they got that figured out their population expanded, they settled down and became traders.  Becaues dammit if you don't trade well then your kid isn't going to get the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip and your old lady isn't going to have sex with you anymore

This might have contributed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianization_of_scandinavia


Christianity just ruins everything*

*Except girl's school uniform. They got that part just the way it should be.
 
2014-05-14 11:35:24 AM  

Now I Is!: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

The never really were a people called Vikings, it comes from a Norse word meaning "an expedition at sea". It wasn't who were it what doing. It was only centuries later that, in English, the word evolved into an epithet for "pirates of Scandinavian descent".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vikings


I think one of us just had a stroke. Let me know if it's me.
 
2014-05-14 11:37:07 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: Smeggy Smurf: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

Once they realized they were running out of people after killing the women and raping the sheep.  Once they got that figured out their population expanded, they settled down and became traders.  Becaues dammit if you don't trade well then your kid isn't going to get the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip and your old lady isn't going to have sex with you anymore

This might have contributed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianization_of_scandinavia


Ah yes, of course, because once a people have converted to Christianity, they'd never do such things as invade other lands or anything.
 
2014-05-14 11:38:54 AM  
With the ice sheets breaking loose, sooner or later Santa Clause had to move south.  I would have guessed Norway, but yah, Sveden.

Yaaaaaaaah...
 
2014-05-14 11:40:15 AM  

verbaltoxin: InterruptingQuirk: Smeggy Smurf: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

Once they realized they were running out of people after killing the women and raping the sheep.  Once they got that figured out their population expanded, they settled down and became traders.  Becaues dammit if you don't trade well then your kid isn't going to get the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip and your old lady isn't going to have sex with you anymore

This might have contributed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianization_of_scandinavia

Ah yes, of course, because once a people have converted to Christianity, they'd never do such things as invade other lands or anything.


No, it does change the dynamic though. And it could have played a role in them settling down. Don't be so touchy.
 
2014-05-14 11:41:08 AM  

InterruptingQuirk: No, it does change the dynamic though. And it could have played a role in them settling down. Don't be so touchy.


Relax, Francis.
 
2014-05-14 11:42:13 AM  

verbaltoxin: InterruptingQuirk: Smeggy Smurf: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

Once they realized they were running out of people after killing the women and raping the sheep.  Once they got that figured out their population expanded, they settled down and became traders.  Becaues dammit if you don't trade well then your kid isn't going to get the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip and your old lady isn't going to have sex with you anymore

This might have contributed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianization_of_scandinavia

Ah yes, of course, because once a people have converted to Christianity, they'd never do such things as invade other lands or anything.


Well, not other Christian lands. Usually.
 
2014-05-14 11:42:34 AM  
modern day beserkers?

videogamecritic.com
 
2014-05-14 11:43:50 AM  

kbronsito: Christianity just ruins everything


Christians:
fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net

www.stpeterslist.com

www.history.com

drivethenation.com
kotlaslib.aonb.ru
www.newsday.co.tt

You:

static.fjcdn.com
 
2014-05-14 11:47:51 AM  
 
2014-05-14 11:48:10 AM  
Been watching the Viking show on History Channel. It's way too awesome-especially if your name is Ragnar Lofbrok!
 
2014-05-14 11:51:39 AM  
I thought Robbaz was the viking king?
 
2014-05-14 11:53:21 AM  

loki see loki do: and this is inside the Longhall[scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x566]


Looks like a Longhorn Steakhouse.
 
2014-05-14 11:55:14 AM  
With Hershel in charge what could go wrong?

i.dailymail.co.uk--img1.wikia.nocookie.net

As long as he doesn't lose his head ...
 
2014-05-14 11:55:18 AM  

Frank N Stein: kbronsito: Christianity just ruins everything

Christians:
[fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net image 720x541]

[www.stpeterslist.com image 410x600]

[www.history.com image 620x412]

[drivethenation.com image 850x637]
[kotlaslib.aonb.ru image 800x797]
[www.newsday.co.tt image 400x500]

You:

[static.fjcdn.com image 500x638]


Those were all Catholic things. He was talking about CHRISTIANS, not hell-bound idolators.

www.rawstory.com
 
2014-05-14 12:00:32 PM  

Ijustworkhere: So raping and pillaging are back in fashion?


Incest ,fire worship and infanticide also .
 
2014-05-14 12:02:26 PM  

LazyMedia: Frank N Stein: kbronsito: Christianity just ruins everything

Christians:
[fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net image 720x541]

[www.stpeterslist.com image 410x600]

[www.history.com image 620x412]

[drivethenation.com image 850x637]
[kotlaslib.aonb.ru image 800x797]
[www.newsday.co.tt image 400x500]

You:

[static.fjcdn.com image 500x638]

Those were all Catholic things. He was talking about CHRISTIANS, not hell-bound Mary worshipingidolators.

[www.rawstory.com image 615x345]

FTFY.

 
2014-05-14 12:09:45 PM  
Actual vikings wouldn't accept anyone unilaterally declaring themself king.
 
2014-05-14 12:11:17 PM  

LazyMedia: Frank N Stein: kbronsito: Christianity just ruins everything

Christians:
[fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net image 720x541]

[www.stpeterslist.com image 410x600]

[www.history.com image 620x412]

[drivethenation.com image 850x637]
[kotlaslib.aonb.ru image 800x797]
[www.newsday.co.tt image 400x500]

You:

[static.fjcdn.com image 500x638]

Those were all Catholic things. He was talking about CHRISTIANS, not hell-bound idolators.

[www.rawstory.com image 615x345]


Well I'm a catholic so I can only speak for them. Though Eastern Orthodox are bros. And Anglicans are alright I guess.
 
2014-05-14 12:13:05 PM  

Now I Is!: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

The never really were a people called Vikings, it comes from a Norse word meaning "an expedition at sea". It wasn't who were it what doing. It was only centuries later that, in English, the word evolved into an epithet for "pirates of Scandinavian descent".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vikings


Another way to answer that qustion is "After the last Danish king was kicked out of England, and the Scandinavians began bickering internally about who sould rule the others."
 
2014-05-14 12:17:42 PM  

Dansker: Now I Is!: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

The never really were a people called Vikings, it comes from a Norse word meaning "an expedition at sea". It wasn't who were it what doing. It was only centuries later that, in English, the word evolved into an epithet for "pirates of Scandinavian descent".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vikings

Another way to answer that qustion is "After the last Danish king was kicked out of England, and the Scandinavians began bickering internally about who sould rule the others."


He wasn't kicked out so much as shot through the eye with an arrow.

fc04.deviantart.net
 
2014-05-14 12:20:00 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: verbaltoxin: InterruptingQuirk: Smeggy Smurf: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

Once they realized they were running out of people after killing the women and raping the sheep.  Once they got that figured out their population expanded, they settled down and became traders.  Becaues dammit if you don't trade well then your kid isn't going to get the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip and your old lady isn't going to have sex with you anymore

This might have contributed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianization_of_scandinavia

Ah yes, of course, because once a people have converted to Christianity, they'd never do such things as invade other lands or anything.

No, it does change the dynamic though. And it could have played a role in them settling down. Don't be so touchy.


They didn't really settle down. Denmark remained an obnoxiously belligerent country for centuries. We didn't stop until the 19th century, when we had lost Norway, what is now southern Sweden, and Schleswig-Holstein.
 
2014-05-14 12:23:11 PM  

theknuckler_33: modern day beserkers?

[videogamecritic.com image 320x198]


brofist
 
2014-05-14 12:23:47 PM  

LazyMedia: Dansker: Now I Is!: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

The never really were a people called Vikings, it comes from a Norse word meaning "an expedition at sea". It wasn't who were it what doing. It was only centuries later that, in English, the word evolved into an epithet for "pirates of Scandinavian descent".

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vikings

Another way to answer that qustion is "After the last Danish king was kicked out of England, and the Scandinavians began bickering internally about who sould rule the others."

He wasn't kicked out so much as shot through the eye with an arrow.

[fc04.deviantart.net image 600x825]


Details, details.
The really fun part though, is that the English king who succesfully led the battle to rid England of their viking overloard was killed a few weeks later when French-speaking descandants of Danish vikings invaded from the south.
 
2014-05-14 12:25:08 PM  
ˆˆˆ
"overlord", even.
 
2014-05-14 12:26:32 PM  
If all it takes to be king is to declare yourself so and then live in a freaky way, I know a lot of kings.
 
2014-05-14 12:26:50 PM  

boredofedu: Been watching the Viking show on History Channel. It's way too awesome-especially if your name is Ragnar Lofbrok!


I did like the episode where they did the blood eagle on that one guy. Nasty way to die.
 
2014-05-14 12:32:33 PM  

Dansker: InterruptingQuirk: No, it does change the dynamic though. And it could have played a role in them settling down. Don't be so touchy.

They didn't really settle down. Denmark remained an obnoxiously belligerent country for centuries. We didn't stop until the 19th century, when we had lost Norway, what is now southern Sweden, and Schleswig-Holstein.


... and even then, it wasn't so much a question of settling down, as it was everybody around us losing interest, because we were no longer worth the effort. Denmark was still all like "Come back and fight, you cowards, I can still bite you!"
 
2014-05-14 12:35:11 PM  

quietwalker: If all it takes to be king is to declare yourself so and then live in a freaky way, I know a lot of kings.


No shiat. If it were that easy, I'd be the freaking King of Kings!
 
2014-05-14 12:37:22 PM  

Dansker: Dansker: InterruptingQuirk: No, it does change the dynamic though. And it could have played a role in them settling down. Don't be so touchy.

They didn't really settle down. Denmark remained an obnoxiously belligerent country for centuries. We didn't stop until the 19th century, when we had lost Norway, what is now southern Sweden, and Schleswig-Holstein.

... and even then, it wasn't so much a question of settling down, as it was everybody around us losing interest, because we were no longer worth the effort. Denmark was still all like "Come back and fight, you cowards, I can still bite you!"


Feisty little buggers. What was their major malfunction?
 
2014-05-14 12:46:18 PM  

InterruptingQuirk: Dansker: Dansker: InterruptingQuirk: No, it does change the dynamic though. And it could have played a role in them settling down. Don't be so touchy.

They didn't really settle down. Denmark remained an obnoxiously belligerent country for centuries. We didn't stop until the 19th century, when we had lost Norway, what is now southern Sweden, and Schleswig-Holstein.

... and even then, it wasn't so much a question of settling down, as it was everybody around us losing interest, because we were no longer worth the effort. Denmark was still all like "Come back and fight, you cowards, I can still bite you!"

Feisty little buggers. What was their major malfunction?


I've always suspected is was originally mostly mjød, and in later years beer and akvavit.
 
2014-05-14 12:58:36 PM  

Dansker: InterruptingQuirk: Dansker: Dansker: InterruptingQuirk: No, it does change the dynamic though. And it could have played a role in them settling down. Don't be so touchy.

They didn't really settle down. Denmark remained an obnoxiously belligerent country for centuries. We didn't stop until the 19th century, when we had lost Norway, what is now southern Sweden, and Schleswig-Holstein.

... and even then, it wasn't so much a question of settling down, as it was everybody around us losing interest, because we were no longer worth the effort. Denmark was still all like "Come back and fight, you cowards, I can still bite you!"

Feisty little buggers. What was their major malfunction?

I've always suspected is was originally mostly mjød, and in later years beer and akvavit.


I'm confused, what does their mother's milk have to do with this? Ohhh.
 
2014-05-14 01:04:02 PM  

boredofedu: Been watching the Viking show on History Channel. It's way too awesome-especially if your name is Ragnar Lofbrok!


Lagertha is 100 times more awesome than Ragnar.
 
2014-05-14 01:12:18 PM  

verbaltoxin: InterruptingQuirk: Smeggy Smurf: Arkanaut: When did the Vikings stop being the Vikings and just became Norwegians / Danes / Swedes?

Once they realized they were running out of people after killing the women and raping the sheep.  Once they got that figured out their population expanded, they settled down and became traders.  Becaues dammit if you don't trade well then your kid isn't going to get the GI Joe with the Kung Fu grip and your old lady isn't going to have sex with you anymore

This might have contributed https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Christianization_of_scandinavia

Ah yes, of course, because once a people have converted to Christianity, they'd never do such things as invade other lands or anything.


Or kill Grendal
 
2014-05-14 01:45:42 PM  
Meanwhile, WE got stuck with the friggin' amish. -_-
 
2014-05-14 01:48:38 PM  

loki see loki do: and this is inside the Longhall[scontent-b-iad.xx.fbcdn.net image 850x566]


It'll never work out in the langhall.
 
2014-05-14 02:03:04 PM  
Also, re: Christianity/settling down, it's worth keeping in mind that Denmark got it's flag from God for smashing heathen skulls in the Baltic Crusades.
 
2014-05-14 02:58:57 PM  
 
2014-05-14 03:01:06 PM  
I am more interestedin the viking queen.
emertainmentmonthly.com

Oh the things I would do to Lagertha. If she didn't kill me first.
 
2014-05-14 03:10:00 PM  

RottenEggs: Ijustworkhere: So raping and pillaging are back in fashion?

Incest ,fire worship and infanticide also .


fc03.deviantart.net
 
2014-05-14 03:16:20 PM  
Lagertha is one scary chick. Wouldn't want to get her mad at me,
 
2014-05-14 03:18:44 PM  
I would. Grudge-sex can be awesome.
 
2014-05-14 03:46:15 PM  
Lo
 
2014-05-14 04:57:59 PM  

Frank N Stein: LazyMedia: Frank N Stein: kbronsito: Christianity just ruins everything

Christians:
[fbexternal-a.akamaihd.net image 720x541]

[www.stpeterslist.com image 410x600]

[www.history.com image 620x412]

[drivethenation.com image 850x637]
[kotlaslib.aonb.ru image 800x797]
[www.newsday.co.tt image 400x500]

You:

[static.fjcdn.com image 500x638]

Those were all Catholic things. He was talking about CHRISTIANS, not hell-bound idolators.

[www.rawstory.com image 615x345]

Well I'm a catholic so I can only speak for them. Though Eastern Orthodox are bros. And Anglicans are alright I guess.


Place superBrofist here->

//Orthodox
 
2014-05-14 05:52:03 PM  
Ya, sure.  You betcha.
 
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