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(Belfast Telegraph)   British nutritionists urge British residents to stop eating British food if they want to live   (belfasttelegraph.co.uk) divider line 46
    More: Amusing, British Residents, eating  
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3060 clicks; posted to Main » on 14 May 2014 at 1:51 PM (50 weeks ago)   |  Favorite    |   share:  Share on Twitter share via Email Share on Facebook   more»



46 Comments   (+0 »)
   
View Voting Results: Smartest and Funniest
 
2014-05-14 10:07:09 AM  
You're not taking my spotted dick from me.
 
2014-05-14 12:51:35 PM  
quickly builds black pudding fort
 
2014-05-14 01:19:45 PM  
 
2014-05-14 01:52:48 PM  
quickly! to the yorkshire pudding cave !
 
2014-05-14 01:53:19 PM  

Walker: You're not taking my spotted dick from me.


Are you saying they'll have to pry your spotted dick out of your cold, dead hands?
 
2014-05-14 01:54:56 PM  
Yes, they're taking baby steps. They've moved on to nachos abomination and "BBQ" that isn't BBQ. But with enough time, they'll be as fat as America!
 
2014-05-14 01:55:23 PM  
Don't make us get out The Big Book of British Smiles!
 
2014-05-14 01:56:31 PM  

Witness99: Yes, they're taking baby steps. They've moved on to nachos abomination and "BBQ" that isn't BBQ. But with enough time, they'll be as fat as America!


I remember seeing something about the Brits having the same rates of lardassification as America.  We just have more people so it seems fatter.  Plus Texas fat is not the same as London fat.
 
2014-05-14 01:57:24 PM  
So Onslow and his can of ale and bag of crisps is not an appropriate model of healthy eating.

/he did get a lot of exercise banging on the tv
 
2014-05-14 02:04:25 PM  
EAT MORE EEL.
 
2014-05-14 02:05:13 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-14 02:06:02 PM  
Ahh, the chip.  The English contribution to world cuisine.

www.virginmedia.com
 
2014-05-14 02:06:23 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Witness99: Yes, they're taking baby steps. They've moved on to nachos abomination and "BBQ" that isn't BBQ. But with enough time, they'll be as fat as America!

I remember seeing something about the Brits having the same rates of lardassification as America.  We just have more people so it seems fatter.  Plus Texas fat is not the same as London fat.


Yes, they use the long ton for their cattle. Tho they get the benefit of measuring fatties in "stone."
 
2014-05-14 02:07:23 PM  

Hector Remarkable: [i.imgur.com image 300x222]


Dammit!
 
2014-05-14 02:07:26 PM  
well, duh.  Who would want to live if they lived in Britain?
 
2014-05-14 02:08:01 PM  

topcon: EAT MORE EEL.


That's good advice if you're eating sushi
 
2014-05-14 02:09:00 PM  
Especially the kippers.
thiswastv.files.wordpress.com
 
2014-05-14 02:10:55 PM  
i.imgur.com
 
2014-05-14 02:21:33 PM  
Good thing we fail to have this problem in America
 
2014-05-14 02:21:59 PM  
So you're saying a diet purely of grease, starch, gristle, and beer is a bad idea?
 
2014-05-14 02:24:18 PM  
There's nothing wrong with British food.

It's American fast food and British junk food that will kill you.

There's nothing wrong with American food either. Some of it is excellent. And not found in fast food restaurants or even expense account restaurants.

Even Canadian food is great when done right. It has NEVER been done right in a roadside restaurant. NEVER. I despise most of the things that are considered "French Canadian": poutine, split pea soup, sugar tarts, beans, etc. These are not even good peasant food. They are junk food for the very poor. The real cuisine is in the country or the better sort of restaurants and is good French Provincial with a Canadian or Acadian twist, just as much of the great food of Louisiana is French or Cajun with a local touch, such as lots of spices unknown to the Acadians before they became the Cadiens and Cajuns.

British food:

Scotch broth
Oatmeal
Roast beef
Meat, potato, two vegs
Beans & toast
Tapioca pudding
White bread (home made)
Salmon, trout, sole
Lamb with mint jelly
Bubble & Squeak
offal (humble pie)
Steak & Kidney pie
Shepherd's lunch
Shepherd's pie
Shepherd's stew (Irish stew)

American Fast food

McDo
KFC
Wimpy's
Campbell's Soup
Anything from a super market

British junk food

Pork pies
Fish & chips (bad--good fish and chips belongs under British food)
Fish fingers
endless starch and sugar, none of that "green muck" or "rabbit food"

Almost anything that makes you think of the British countryside is good food. Almost anything that makes you think of London or Manchester or Glasgow is poison.
 
2014-05-14 02:30:47 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Witness99: Yes, they're taking baby steps. They've moved on to nachos abomination and "BBQ" that isn't BBQ. But with enough time, they'll be as fat as America!

I remember seeing something about the Brits having the same rates of lardassification as America.  We just have more people so it seems fatter.  Plus Texas fat is not the same as London fat.


The UK's in the Top 10, iianm. And Mexico's fatter than we are in terms of the percentage of people who are obese. But my impression is that the U.S. has a commanding lead in "Jesus, get the harpoon" super-fatties. Your Wal-Mart after midnight shopper just can't be produced as easily in countries where people walk and take the bus.
 
2014-05-14 02:32:23 PM  

brantgoose: There's nothing wrong with British food.

It's American fast food and British junk food that will kill you.

There's nothing wrong with American food either. Some of it is excellent. And not found in fast food restaurants or even expense account restaurants.

Even Canadian food is great when done right. It has NEVER been done right in a roadside restaurant. NEVER. I despise most of the things that are considered "French Canadian": poutine, split pea soup, sugar tarts, beans, etc. These are not even good peasant food. They are junk food for the very poor. The real cuisine is in the country or the better sort of restaurants and is good French Provincial with a Canadian or Acadian twist, just as much of the great food of Louisiana is French or Cajun with a local touch, such as lots of spices unknown to the Acadians before they became the Cadiens and Cajuns.

British food:

Scotch broth
Oatmeal
Roast beef
Meat, potato, two vegs
Beans & toast
Tapioca pudding
White bread (home made)
Salmon, trout, sole
Lamb with mint jelly
Bubble & Squeak
offal (humble pie)
Steak & Kidney pie
Shepherd's lunch
Shepherd's pie
Shepherd's stew (Irish stew)

American Fast food

McDo
KFC
Wimpy's
Campbell's Soup
Anything from a super market

British junk food

Pork pies
Fish & chips (bad--good fish and chips belongs under British food)
Fish fingers
endless starch and sugar, none of that "green muck" or "rabbit food"

Almost anything that makes you think of the British countryside is good food. Almost anything that makes you think of London or Manchester or Glasgow is poison.


What's a shepherd's lunch? Same as a plowman's lunch? Because bread and cheese is not that healthy.
 
2014-05-14 02:33:36 PM  

NutWrench: Walker: You're not taking my spotted dick from me.

Are you saying they'll have to pry your spotted dick out of your cold, dead hands?


I was gonna go with that, or possibly "Hands off my spotted dick!"
 
2014-05-14 02:34:49 PM  
Is it still a requirement to eat a sandwich every Thursday?
 
2014-05-14 02:35:36 PM  

Walker: NutWrench: Walker: You're not taking my spotted dick from me.

Are you saying they'll have to pry your spotted dick out of your cold, dead hands?

I was gonna go with that, or possibly "Hands off my spotted dick!"


Just lube it up.  That way, no matter how hard they squeeze they'll only get the clotted cream off of it.
 
2014-05-14 02:38:38 PM  
I do like that you can order a tub of ice cream along with your Pizza Hut pizza delivery in the UK. Not really healthy but who hasn't thought to themselves, "I know what I'd like after consuming eight trillion calories of grease and cheese - a tub of Rolo ice cream!"
 
2014-05-14 03:02:02 PM  
pretty sure that isn't what he said.

more like "don't become any more Americanised if you want to live"
 
2014-05-14 03:15:28 PM  

brantgoose: American Fast food

McDo
KFC
Wimpy's
Campbell's Soup
Anything from a super market


Where you dropped on your head as a child? You don't go to the supermarket to buy "fast food". You buy your groceries there, i.e. meat, vegetables, etc...
 
2014-05-14 03:44:46 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: Witness99: Yes, they're taking baby steps. They've moved on to nachos abomination and "BBQ" that isn't BBQ. But with enough time, they'll be as fat as America!

I remember seeing something about the Brits having the same rates of lardassification as America.  We just have more people so it seems fatter.  Plus Texas fat is not the same as London fat.


Clearly, you haven't been to the UK and US recently. British lard is mighty, but it's nothing on American lard.
 
2014-05-14 03:50:02 PM  
And no one should give a fark. Now, if a dietitian made those comments, maybe they should give it a listen.

/anyone can refer to himself as a nutritionist
//dietitians, however, are regulated
 
2014-05-14 03:58:36 PM  
Well in my experience living in the UK they don't make it easy to eat fresh price wise. You can buy a 100 instant meals in a packed for 1p or an head of broccoli for 100 pounds, maybe a slight exaggeration.
 
2014-05-14 04:01:27 PM  
brantgoose: It's American fast food and British junk food that will kill you.

FTFY
 
2014-05-14 04:13:19 PM  
img.fark.net
 
2014-05-14 04:33:51 PM  

gweilo8888: Smeggy Smurf: Witness99: Yes, they're taking baby steps. They've moved on to nachos abomination and "BBQ" that isn't BBQ. But with enough time, they'll be as fat as America!

I remember seeing something about the Brits having the same rates of lardassification as America.  We just have more people so it seems fatter.  Plus Texas fat is not the same as London fat.

Clearly, you haven't been to the UK and US recently. British lard is mighty, but it's nothing on American lard.


You want to try that again?  This time either quoting the right person or looking at a profile first?
 
2014-05-14 04:57:12 PM  

Pokey.Clyde: You don't go to the supermarket to buy "fast food". You buy your groceries there, i.e. meat, vegetables, etc...


Clearly you have not fallen prey to Wal-Mart's chicken tenders, okra, and mac&cheese ready-made-food specials.
 
2014-05-14 05:26:59 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: You want to try that again?  This time either quoting the right person or looking at a profile first?


Nope, because I quoted the correct person. (I did mean -- and forget -- to delete the quote from Witness99 inside your quote, though.)

Note: I said "and", not "or". Reading comprehension is not your strong suit, and nor is judging British lard.
 
2014-05-14 05:42:10 PM  

brantgoose: Fish & chips (bad--good fish and chips belongs under British food)


So, what exactly is the difference between good fish and chips and bad fish and chips, nutritionally speaking, in your estimation?
Ditto for pork pie vs. Shepherd's pie or.. *hurk* steak and kidney pie?
 
2014-05-14 05:54:12 PM  
Brits and food do not conjugate properly in my brain ..
 
2014-05-14 06:05:34 PM  

gweilo8888: Smeggy Smurf: You want to try that again?  This time either quoting the right person or looking at a profile first?

Nope, because I quoted the correct person. (I did mean -- and forget -- to delete the quote from Witness99 inside your quote, though.)

Note: I said "and", not "or". Reading comprehension is not your strong suit, and nor is judging British lard.


So I'm not from the US?  Well ok then.  You're getting a new favorite tag tonight
 
2014-05-14 06:27:31 PM  

Smeggy Smurf: So I'm not from the US?  Well ok then.  You're getting a new favorite tag tonight


You do know the difference between the words "and" and "or", right? Because it's starting to look like not.

/I've seen some reading comprehension fails in my time, but you've gone to the next level.
 
2014-05-14 07:37:26 PM  

Clemkadidlefark: Brits and food do not conjugate properly in my brain ..


Good, as neither is a verb.
 
2014-05-14 08:12:45 PM  
Best advice I ever received before going to England: "When in the UK, just eat Curry."
 
2014-05-14 08:14:21 PM  

basilbrush: Well in my experience living in the UK they don't make it easy to eat fresh price wise. You can buy a 100 instant meals in a packed for 1p or an head of broccoli for 100 pounds, maybe a slight exaggeration.


Heh.

Mind you, if all I could eat for the rest of my life was broccoli, I'd prefer to be dead.

Quality of live vs quantity of life and all that.
 
2014-05-14 08:14:38 PM  

JackieRabbit: Don't make us get out The Big Book of British Smiles!


img.fark.net
 
2014-05-15 06:13:35 AM  
They may have things like blood pudding and pork pie, but they don't have them with Doritos!

/go USA!
 
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